ROGER ZALAZNY
GUNS OF AVALON
Chapter
1
I stood there on the beach and said,
"Good-by, Butterfly," and the ship slowly turned, then headed out
toward deep water. It would make it back into port at the lighthouse of Cabra,
I knew, for that place lay near to Shadow.
Turning
away, I regarded the black line of trees near at hand, knowing that a long walk
lay ahead of me. I moved in that direction, making the necessary adjustments as
I advanced. A pre-dawn chill lay upon the silent forest, and this was good.
I was perhaps fifty pounds underweight and
still occasionally experienced double vision, but I was improving. I had escaped the dungeons of Amber and recuperated somewhat, with
the assistance of mad Dworkin and drunken Jopin, in that order. Now I
had to find me a place, a place resembling another place- one which no longer
existed. I located the path. I took it.
After a time, I stopped at a hollow tree
that had to be there. I reached inside and drew forth my silvered blade and
strapped it to my waist. It mattered not that it had been somewhere in Amber. It
was here now, for the wood that I walked was in Shadow.
I continued for several hours, the unseen
sun somewhere behind my left shoulder. Then I rested awhile, then
moved on. It was good to see the leaves and the rocks and the dead tree trunks,
the live ones, the grass, the dark earth. It was good to smell all the little
smells of life, and to hear its buzzing/humming/chirping sounds. God! How I
treasured my eyes! Having them back again after nearly four years of blackness
was a thing for which I lacked words. And to be walking
free...
I went on, my tattered cloak flapping in
the morning breeze. I must have looked over fifty years old, my face creased,
my form sparse, lean. Who would have known me for what I was?
As I walked, walked in Shadow, moved toward
a place, I did not reach that place. It must be that I had grown somewhat soft.
Here is what happened-
I came upon seven men by the side of the
road, and six of them were dead, lying in various stages of red dismemberment. The
seventh was in a semi-reclined position, his back against the mossy bole of an
ancient oak. He held his blade across his lap and there was a large wet wound
in his right side, from which the blood still flowed. He wore no armor, though some of the others did. His gray eyes were
open, though glassy. His knuckles were skinned and his breathing was slow. From
beneath shaggy brows, he watched the crows eat out the eyes of the dead. He did
not seem to see me.
I raised my cowl and lowered my head to
hide my face. I moved nearer.
I knew him, or someone very like him, once.
His blade twitched and the point rose as I advanced.
"I'm a friend," I said. "Would
you like a drink of water?" He hesitated a moment, then nodded.
"Yes." I opened my canteen and
passed it to him. He drank and coughed, drank some more.
"Sir, I thank you," he said as he
passed it back. "I only regret it were not stronger. Damn this cut!"
"I've some of that, too. If you're
sure you can handle it."
He held out his hand and I unstoppered a
small flask and gave it to him. He must have coughed for twenty seconds after a
slug of that stuff Jopin drinks.
Then the left side of his mouth smiled and
he winked lightly.
"Much better," he said.
"Mind if I pour a drop of this onto my side? I hate to waste good whisky,
but-"
"Use it all, if you have to. On second
thought, though, your hand looks shaky. Maybe I'd better do the pouring."
He nodded, and I opened his leather jacket
and with my dagger cut away at his shirt until I had exposed the wound. It was
nasty-looking, deep, running from front to back a couple inches above the top
of his hip. He had other, less serious gashes on his arms, chest, and
shoulders.
The blood kept oozing from the big one, and
I blotted it a bit and wiped it clean with my kerchief.
"Okay," I said, "clench your teeth and look away," and I poured.
His entire body jerked, one great spasm,
and then he settled down to shivering. But he did not cry out. I had not
thought he would. I folded the kerchief and pressed it in place on the wound. I
tied it there, with a long strip I had torn from the bottom of my cloak. "Want
another drink?" I asked him.
"Of water," he said. "Then I
fear I must sleep." He drank, then his head
leaned forward until his chin was resting upon his breast. He slept, and I made
him a pillow and covered him over with dead men's cloaks.
Then I sat there at his side and watched
the pretty black birds.
He had not recognized me. But then, who
would? Had I revealed myself to him, he might possibly have known me. We had
never really met, I guess, this wounded man and I. But in a peculiar sense, we
were acquainted.
I was walking in Shadow, seeking a place, a
very special place. It had been destroyed once, but I had the power to
re-create it, for Amber casts an infinity of shadows. A
child of Amber may walk among them, and such was my heritage. You may call them
parallel worlds if you wish, alternate universes if you would, the products of
a deranged mind if you care to. I call them shadows, as do all who possess the
power to walk among them. We select a possibility and we walk until we reach
it. So, in a sense, we create it. Let's leave it at that for now.
I had sailed, had begun this walk toward
Avalon.
Centuries before, I had lived there. It is
a long, complicated, proud and painful story, and I may go into it later on, if
I live to finish much more of this telling.
I was drawing nearer to my Avalon when I came
upon the wounded knight and the six dead men. Had I chosen to walk on by, I
could have reached a place where the six men lay dead and the knight stood
unwounded-or a place where he lay dead and they stood laughing. Some would say
it did not really matter, since all these things are possibilities, and
therefore all of them exist somewhere in Shadow.
Any of my brothers and sisters-with the
possible exceptions of Gerard and Benedict-would not even have given a second
glance. I have become somewhat chickenhearted, however. I was not always that
way, but perhaps the shadow Earth, where I spent so many years, mellowed me a
bit, and maybe my hitch in the dungeons of Amber reminded me somewhat of the
quality of human suffering. I do not know. I only know that I could not pass by
the hurt I saw on the form of someone much like someone who had once been a
friend. If I were to speak my name in this man's ear, I might hear myself reviled, I would certainly hear a tale of woe.
So, all right. I
would pay this much of the price: I would get him back on his feet, then I would cut out. No harm done, and perhaps some small
good within this Other.
I sat there, watching him, and after
several hours, he awakened.
"Hello," I said, unstoppering my
canteen. "Have another drink?"
"Thank you." He extended a hand.
I watched him drink, and when he handed it
back he said, "Excuse me for not introducing myself. I was not in good
manner. . ."
"I know you," I said. "Call
me Corey."
He looked as if he were about to say,
"Corey of What?" but thought better of it and nodded.
"Very well.
Sir Corey," he demoted me. "I wish to thank you."
"I am thanked by the fact that yon are
looking better," I told him. "Want something to eat?"
"Yes, please."
"I have some dried meat here and some
bread that could be fresher," I said. "Also a big
hunk of cheese. Eat all you want." I passed it to him and he did.
"What of yourself, Sir Corey?" he
inquired.
"I've already eaten, while you were
asleep." I looked about me, significantly. He smiled.
". . . And you knocked off all six of
them by yourself?" I said. He nodded.
"Good show. What am I going to do with
you now?"
He tried to see my face, failed. "I do
not understand," he said.
"Where are you headed?"
"I have friends," he said,
"some five leagues to the north. I was going in that direction when this
thing happened. And I doubt very much that any man, or the Devil himself, could
bear me on his back for one league. And I could stand. Sir Corey, you'd a
better idea as to my size."
I rose, drew my blade, and felled a
sapling-about two inches in diameter-with one cut. Then I stripped it and
hacked it to the proper length.
I did it again, and with the belts and
cloaks of dead men I rigged a stretcher.
He
watched until I was finished, then commented:
"You swing a deadly blade. Sir Corey
-and a silver one, it would seem. . ."
"Are you up to some traveling?" I
asked him. Five leagues is roughly fifteen miles.
"What of the dead?" he inquired.
"You want to maybe give them a decent
Christian burial?" I said. "Screw them! Nature takes care of its own.
Let's get out of here. They stink already."
"I'd like at least to see them covered
over. They fought well."
I sighed.
"All right, if it will help yon to
sleep nights. I haven't a spade, so I'll build them a cairn. It's going to be a
common burial, though."
"Good enough," he said.
I laid the six bodies out, side by side. I
heard him mumbling something, which I guessed to be a prayer for the dead.
I ringed them around with stones. There
were plenty of stones in the vicinity, so I worked quickly, choosing the
largest so that things would go faster.
That is where I made a mistake. One of them
must have weighed around four hundred pounds, and I did not roll it. I hefted
it and set it in place.
I heard a sharp intake of breath from his
direction, and I realized that he had noted this. I cursed then:
"Damn near ruptured myself on that
one!" I said, and I selected smaller stones after that.
When I had finished, I said, "All
right. Are you ready to move?"
"Yes."
I raised him in my arms and set him on the
stretcher. He clenched his teeth as I did so.
"Where do we go?" I asked.
He gestured.
"Head back to the trail. Follow it to
the left until it forks. Then go right at that place. How do you propose to. . . ?"
I scooped the stretcher up in my arms,
holding him as you would a baby, cradle and all. Then I turned and walked back
to the trail, carrying him.
"Corey?" he said.
"Yes?"
"You are one of the strongest men I
have ever met-and it seems I should know you."
I did not answer him immediately. Then I
said, "I try to keep in good condition. Clean living and all."
". . . And your voice sounds rather
familiar."
He was staring upward, still trying to see
my face. I decided to get off the subject fast.
"Who are these friends of yours I am
taking you to?"
"We are headed for the Keep of
Ganelon."
"That ratfink!"
I said, almost dropping him.
"While I do not understand the word
you have used, I take it to be a term of opprobrium," he said, "from
the tone of your voice. If such is the case, I must be his defender in-"
"Hold on," I said. "I've a
feeling we're talking about two different guys with the same name. Sorry."
Through the stretcher, I felt a certain tension go out of him.
"That is doubtless the case," he
said.
So I carried him until we reached the
trail, and there I turned to the left.
He dropped off to sleep again, and I made
better time after that, taking the fork he had told me about and sprinting
while he snored. I began wondering about the six fellows who had tried to do
him in and almost succeeded. I hoped that they did not have any friends beating
about the bushes.
I slowed my pace back to a walk when his
breathing changed.
"I was asleep," he said.
". . . And snoring," I added.
"How far have you borne me?"
"Around two leagues, I'd say."
"And you are not tired?"
"Some," I said,
"but not enough to need rest just yet."
"Mon Dieu!" he said. "I am
pleased never to have had you for an enemy. Are you certain you are not the
Devil?"
"Yeah, sure," I said. "Don't
you smell the brimstone? And my right hoof is killing me."
He actually sniffed a couple times before
he chuckled, which hurt my feelings a bit.
Actually, we had traveled over four
leagues, as I reckoned it. I was hoping he would sleep again and not be too
concerned about distances. My arms were beginning to ache.
"Who were those six men you
slew?" I asked him.
"Wardens of the Circle," he
replied, "and they were no longer men, but men possessed. Now pray to God,
Sir Corey, that their souls be at peace."
"Wardens of the
Circle?" I asked. "What Circle?"
"The dark Circle-the place of iniquity
and loathsome beasts . . ." He took a deep breath. "The
source of the illness that lies upon the land."
"This land doesn't look especially ill
to me," I said.
"We are far from that place, and the
realm of Ganelon is still too strong for the invaders. But the Circle widens. I
feel that the last battle will be fought here."
"You have aroused my curiosity as to
this thing."
"Sir Corey, if you know not of it
'twere better you forgot it, skirted the Circle, and went your way. Though I
should dearly love to fight by your side, this is not your fight-and who can
tell the outcome?"
The trail began winding upward. Then,
through a break in the trees, I saw a distant thing that made me pause and
caused me to recall another, similar place.
"What . . . ?" asked my charge,
turning. Then, "Why, you moved much more quickly than I had guessed. That
is our destination, the Keep of Ganelon."
I thought then about a Ganelon. I did not
want to, but I did. He had been a traitorous assassin and I had exiled him from
Avalon centuries before. I had actually cast him through Shadow into another
time and place, as my brother Eric had later done to me. I hoped it was not to
this place that I had sent him. While not very likely, it was possible. Though
he was a mortal man with his allotted span, and I had exiled him from that
place perhaps six hundred years ago, it was possible that it was only a few
years past in terms of this world. Time, too, is a function of Shadow, and even
Dworkin did not know all of its ins and outs. Or perhaps he did. Maybe that is
what drove him mad. The most difficult thing about Time, I have learned, is
doing it. In any case, I felt that this could not be my old enemy and former
trusted aide, for he would certainly not be resisting any wave of iniquity that
was sweeping across the land. He would be right in there pitching for the loathsome
beasts, I felt sure.
A thing that caused me difficulty was the
man that I carried. His counterpart had been alive in Avalon at the time of the
exiling, meaning that the time lag could be just about right.
I did not care to encounter the Ganelon I
had known and be recognized by him. He knew nothing of Shadow. He would only
know that I had worked some dark magic on him, as an alternative to killing
him, and while he had survived that alternative it might have been the rougher
of the two.
But the man in my arms needed a place of
rest and shelter, so I trudged forward.
I wondered, though . . .
There did seem to be something about me
that lent itself to recognition by this man. If there were some memories of a
shadow of myself in this place that was like yet not
like Avalon, what form did they take? How would they condition a reception of
the actual me should I be discovered?
The sun was beginning to sink. A cool
breeze began, hinting of a chilly night to come. My ward was snoring once more,
so I decided to sprint most of the remaining distance. I did not like the
feeling that this forest after dark might become a place crawling with unclean
denizens of some damned Circle that I knew nothing about, but who seemed to be
on the make when it came to this particular piece of real estate.
So I ran through lengthening shadows,
dismissing rising notions of pursuit, ambush, surveillance, until I could do so
no longer. They had achieved the strength of a premonition, and then I heard
the noises at my back: a soft pat-pat-pat, as of footfalls.
I set the stretcher down, and I drew my
blade as I turned.
There were two of them, cats.
Their markings were precisely those of
Siamese cats, only these were the size of tigers. Their eyes were of a solid,
sun-bright yellow, pupilless. They seated themselves on their haunches as I
turned, and they stared at me and did not blink.
They were about thirty paces away. I stood
sideways between them and the stretcher, my blade raised.
Then the one to the left opened its mouth. I
did not know whether to expect a purr or a roar. Instead, it spoke. It said,
"Man, most mortal." The voice was not human-sounding. It was too
highpitched.
"Yet still it lives," said the
second, sounding much like the first.
"Slay it here," said the first.
"What of the one who guards it with
the blade I like not at all?"
"Mortal man?"
"Come find out," I said, softly.
"It is thin, and perhaps it is
old."
"Yet it bore the other from the cairn
to this place, rapidly and without rest. Let us flank it."
I sprang forward as they moved, and the one
to my right leaped toward me.
My blade split its skull and continued on
into the shoulder. As I turned, yanking it free, the other swept past me,
heading toward the stretcher. I swung wildly.
My blade fell upon its back and passed
completely through its body. It emitted a shriek that grated like chalk on a
blackboard as it fell in two pieces and began to bum. The other was burning
also.
But the one I had halved was not yet dead. Its
head turned toward me and those blazing eyes met my own and held them.
"I die the final death," it said,
"and so I know you, Opener. Why do you slay us?" And then the flames
consumed its head.
I turned, cleaned my blade and sheathed it,
picked up the stretcher, ignored all questions, and continued on.
A small knowledge had begun within me, as
to what the thing was, what it had meant.
And I still sometimes see that burning cat
head in dreams, and then I awaken, wet and shivering, and the night seems
darker, and filled with shapes I cannot define.
The Keep of Ganelon had a moat about it,
and a drawbridge, which was raised. There was a tower at each of the four
comers where its high walls met. From within those walls many other towers
reached even higher, tickling the bellies of low, dark clouds, occluding the
early stars, casting shadows of jet down the high hill the place occupied. Several
of the towers were already lighted, and the wind bore me the faint sound of
voices.
I stood before the drawbridge, lowered my
charge to the ground, cupped my hands about my mouth, and called out:
"Hola!
Ganelon! Two travelers are stranded in the night!"
I heard the clink of metal on stone. I felt
that I was being studied from somewhere above. I squinted upward, but my eyes
were still far from normal.
"Who is there?" the voice came
down, big and booming.
"Lance, who is
wounded, and I, Corey of Cabra, who bore him here."
I waited as he called this information to
another sentry, and I heard more voices raised as the
message was passed along the line.
After a pause of several minutes, a reply
came back in the same manner.
Then the guard called down:
"Stay clear! We're going to lower the
drawbridge! You may enter!"
The creaking began as he spoke, and in a
brief time the thing banged to earth on our side of the moat. I raised my
charge once more and walked across it.
Thus did I bear Sir Lancelot du Lac to the
Keep of Ganelon, whom I trusted like a brother. That
is to say, not at all.
There was a rush of people about me, and I
found myself ringed by armed men. There was no hostility present, however, only
concern. I had entered a large, cobbled courtyard, lit by torches and filled
with bedrolls. I could smell sweat, smoke, horses, and the odors of cooking. A
small army was bivouacked there.
Many had approached me and stood staring
and murmuring, but then there came up two who were fully arrayed, as for
battle, and one of them touched my shoulder.
"Come this way," he said.
I followed and they flanked me. The ring of
people parted as we passed. The drawbridge was already creaking back into
place. We moved toward the main complex of dark stone.
lnside, we walked
along a hallway and passed what appeared to be a reception chamber. Then we
came upon a stairway. The man to my right indicated that I should mount it. On
the second floor, we stopped before a heavy wooden door and the guard knocked
upon it.
"Come in," called out a voice
which unfortunately seemed very familiar. We entered.
He sat at a heavy wooden table near a wide
window overlooking the courtyard. He wore a brown leather jacket over a black
shirt, and his trousers were also black. They were bloused over the tops of his
dark boots. He had about his waist a wide belt which held a hoof-hilted dagger.
A short sword lay on the table before him. His hair and beard were red, with a
sprinkling of white. His eyes were dark as ebony.
He looked at me, then
turned his attention to a pair of guards who entered with the stretcher.
"Put him on my bed," he said. Then, "Roderick, tend to him."
His physician, Roderick, was an old guy who
didn't look as if he would do much harm, which relieved me somewhat. I had not
fetched Lance all that distance to have him bled.
Then Ganelon turned to me once more. "Where
did you find him?" he asked.
"Five leagues to the south of
here."
"Who are you?"
"They call me Corey," I said.
He studied me too closely, and his
worm-like lips twitched toward a smile beneath his mustache. "What is your
part in this thing?" he asked.
"I don't know what you mean," I
said.
I had let my shoulders sag a bit. I spoke
slowly, softly, and with a slight falter. My beard was longer than his, and
lightened by dust. I imagined I looked like an older man. His attitude on
appraisal tended to indicate that he thought I was.
"I am asking you why you helped him,"
he said.
"Brotherhood of man, and all
that," I replied.
"You are a foreigner?"
I nodded.
"Well, you are welcome here for so
long as you wish to stay."
"Thanks. I will probably move on
tomorrow."
"Now join me in a glass of wine and
tell me of the circumstances under which you found him."
So I did.
Ganelon let me speak without interrupting,
and those, piercing eyes of his were on me all the while. While I had always
felt laceration by means of the eyeballs to be a trite expression, it did not
feel so that night. He stabbed at me with them. I wondered what he knew and
what he was guessing concerning me.
Then fatigue sprang and seized me by the
scruff of the neck. The exertion, the wine, the warm room-all of these worked together,
and suddenly it was as if I were standing off in the comer somewhere and
listening to myself, watching myself, feeling dissociated. While I was capable
of great exertion in short bursts, I realized that I was still very low when it
came to stamina. I also noticed that my hand was trembling.
"I'm sorry," I heard myself
saying. "The day's labors are beginning to get to me. . ."
"Of course," said Ganelon.
"I will talk with you more on the morrow. Sleep now. Sleep well."
Then he called in one of the guards and
ordered him to conduct me to a chamber. I must have staggered on the way,
because I remember the guard's hand on my elbow, steering me.
That night I slept the sleep of the dead. It
was a big, black thing, about fourteen hours long.
In the morning, I ached all over.
I bathed myself. There was a basin on the
high dresser, and soap and a washcloth someone had thoughtfully set beside it.
My throat felt packed with sawdust and my
eyes were full of fuzz. I sat down and assessed myself.
There had been a day when I could have
carried Lance the entire distance without going to pieces afterward. There had
been a day when I had fought my way up the face of Kolvir and into the heart of
Amber itself.
Those days were gone. I suddenly felt like
the wreck I must have looked.
Something would have to be done.
I had been putting on weight and picking up
strength slowly. The process would have to be accelerated.
A week or two of clean living and violent
exercise could help a lot, I decided. Ganelon had not given any real indication
of having recognized me. All right. I would take
advantage of the hospitality he had offered.
With that resolve, I sought out the kitchen
and conned a hearty breakfast. Well, it was really around lunchtime, but let's call things by their proper names. I had a strong desire for
a smoke and felt a certain perverse joy in the fact that I was out of tobacco. The
Fates were conspiring to keep me true to myself.
I strolled out into the courtyard and a
brisk, bright day. For a long while, I watched the men who were quartered there
as they went through their training regime.
There were bowmen off at the far end,
thwanging away at targets fastened to bales of hay. I noted that they employed
thumb rings and an oriental grip on the bowstring, rather than the
three-fingered technique with which I was more comfortable. It made me wonder a
bit about this Shadow. The swordsmen used both the edges and points of their
weapons, and there was a variety of blades and fencing techniques in evidence. I
tried to estimate, and guessed there were perhaps eight hundred of them
about-and I had no idea as to how many of them there might be out of sight. Their
complexions, their hair, their eyes, varied from pale to quite dark. I heard
many strange accents above the thwanging and the clanging, though most spoke
the language of Avalon, which is of the tongue of Amber.
As I stood watching, one swordsman raised
his hand, lowered his blade, mopped his brow, and stepped back. His opponent
did not seem especially winded. This was my chance for some of the exercise I
was seeking.
I moved forward, smiled, and said,
"I'm Corey of Cabra. I was watching you."
I turned my attention to the big, dark man
who was grinning at his resting buddy.
"Mind if I practice with you while
your friend rests?" I asked him.
He kept grinning and pointed at his mouth
and his ear. I tried several other languages, but none of them worked. So I
pointed at the blade and at him and back to myself until he got the idea. His
opponent seemed to think it was a good one, as the smaller fellow offered me
his blade.
I took it into my hands. It was shorter and
a lot heavier than Grayswandir. (That is the name of my blade, which I know I
have not mentioned up until now. It is a story in itself, and I may or may not
go into it before you learn what brought me to this final pass. But should you
hear me refer to it by name again, you will know what I am talking about.) I swung
my blade a few times to test it, removed my cloak, tossed it off to the side,
and struck an en garde.
The big fellow attacked. I parried and
attacked. He parried and riposted. I parried the riposte, feinted, and
attacked. Et cetera. After five minutes, I knew that
he was good. And I knew that I was better. He stopped me twice so that I could
teach him a maneuver I had used. He learned both very quickly. After fifteen
minutes, though, his grin widened. I guess that was around the point where he
broke down most opponents by virtue of sheer staying power, if they were good
enough to resist his attacks up until then. He had stamina, I'll say that.
After twenty minutes, a puzzled look came onto his face. I just didn't look as
if I could stand up that long. But then, what can any man really know-of, that
which lies within a scion of Amber?
After twenty-five minutes, he was sheathed
in sweat, but he continued on. My brother Random looks and acts, on occasion,
like an asthmatic, teen-age hood-but once we had fenced together for over
twenty-six hours, to see who would call it quits. (If you're curious, it was
me. I had had a date lined up for the next day and had wanted to arrive in
reasonably good condition.) We could have gone on. While I was not up to a
performance like that just then, I knew that I could outlast the man I faced. After
all, he was only human.
After about half an hour, when he was
breathing heavily and slowing down on his counterstrokes and I knew that in a
few minutes he might guess that I was pulling mine, I raised my hand and
lowered my blade as I had seen his previous opponent do. He ground to a halt
also, then rushed forward and embraced me. I did not understand what he said,
but I gathered that he was pleased with the workout. So was I.
The horrible thing was,
I felt it. I found myself slightly heady.
But I needed more. I promised me I would
kill myself and exercise that day, glut myself with food that night, sleep
deeply, wake, and do it again.
So I went over to where the archers stood. After
a time, I borrowed a bow, and in my three-fingered style unleashed perhaps a
hundred arrows. I did not do too badly. Then, for a time, I watched the men on
horseback, with their lances, shields, maces. I moved on. I watched some practice
in hand-to-hand combat.
Finally, I wrestled three men in
succession. Then I did feel beat. Absolutely. Entirely.
I sat down on a bench in the shade,
sweating, breathing heavily. I wondered about Lance, about Ganelon, about
supper. After perhaps ten minutes, I made my way back to the room I bad been
given and I bathed again.
By then I was ravenously hungry, so I set
forth to find me dinner and information.
Before I had gone very far from the door,
one of the guards whom I recognized from the previous evening-the one who had
guided me to my chamber-approached and said, "Lord Ganelon bids you dine
with him in his quarters, at the ringing of the dinner bell." I thanked
him, said I would be there, returned to my chamber, and rested on my bed until
it was time. Then I made my way forth once again.
I was beginning to ache deeply and I had a
few additional bruises. I decided this was a good thing, would help me to seem
older. I banged on Ganelon's door and a boy admitted me, then
dashed off to join another youth who was spreading a table near to the
fireplace.
Ganelon wore a green shirt and trousers,
green boots and belt, sat in a high-backed chair. He rose as I entered, walked
forward to greet me.
"Sir Corey, I've heard report of your
doings this day," he said, clasping my hand. "It makes your carrying
Lance seem more believable. I must say you're more a
man than you look-meaning no offense by that."
I chuckled. "No offense."
He led me to a chair, handed me a glass of
pale wine that was a bit too sweet for my taste, then
said, "Looking at you. I'd say I could push you over with one hand-but you
carried Lance five leagues and killed two of those bastard cats on the way. And
he told me about the cairn you built, of big stones-"
"How is Lance feeling today?" I
interrupted.
"I had to place a guard in his chamber
to be sure he rested. The muscle-bound clod wanted to get up and walk around. He'll
stay there all week, though, by God!"
"Then he must be feeling better."
He nodded.
"Here's to his health."
"I'll drink to that."
We drank. Then: "Had I an army of men
like you and Lance," he said, "the story might have been different."
"What story?"
"The Circle and its Wardens," he
said. "You've not heard of it?"
"Lance mentioned it. That's all."
One boy tended an enormous chunk of beef on
a spit above a low fire. Occasionally, he sloshed some wine over it as he turned
the shaft. Whenever the odor drifted my way, my stomach would rumble and
Ganelon would chuckle. The other boy left the room to fetch bread from the
kitchen.
Ganelon was silent a long while. He
finished his wine and poured himself another glass. I sipped slowly at my
first.
"Have you ever heard of Avalon?"
he finally asked.
"Yes," I replied. "There is
a verse I heard long ago from a passing hard: "Beyond the River of the
Blessed, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Avalon. Our swords
were shattered in our hands and we hung our shields on the oak tree. The silver
towers were fallen, into a sea of blood. How many miles to Avalon? None, I say,
and all. The silver towers are fallen.' "
"Avalon fallen.
. . ?" he said.
"I think the man was mad. I know of no
Avalon. His verse stayed in my mind, though."
Ganelon averted his face and did not speak
again for several minutes. When he did, his voice was altered.
"There was," he said. "There
was such a place. I lived there, years ago. I did not know it was fallen."
"How came you here from that
place?" I asked him.
"I was exiled by its sorcerer Lord,
Corwin of Amber. He sent me through darkness and madness to this place, that I
might suffer and die here-and I have suffered and come near to the final lay
many a time. I've tried to find the way back, but nobody knows it. I've spoken
with sorcerers, and even a captured creature of the
Circle before we slew the thing. But none knew the road to Avalon. It is as the
bard said, 'No miles, and all,' " he misquoted my
lyric. "Do you recall the baid's name?"
"I am sorry, but I do not."
"Where is this Cabra place you hie
from?"
"Far to the east, across the
waters," I said. "Very far. It is an island
kingdom."
"Any chance they could furnish us with
some troops? I can afford to pay quite a bit." I shook my head.
"It is a small place with a small
militia, and it would be several months' travel both ways-sea and land. They
have never fought as mercenaries, and for that matter they are not very
warlike."
"Then you seem to differ a great deal
from your countrymen," he said, looking at me once more. I sipped my wine.
"I was an arms instructor," I
said, "to the Royal Guard."
"Then you might be inclined to hire
out, to help train my troops?"
"I'll stay a few weeks and do
that," I said.
He nodded a tight-lipped microsecond of a
smile, then, "It saddens me to hear this indication that fair Avalon is
gone," he said. "But if it is so, it means that my exiler is also
likely dead." He drained his wineglass. "So even the demon came to a
time when he could not defend his own," he mused. "That's a
heartening thought. It means we might have a chance here, against these
demons."
"Begging your pardon," I said,
sticking my neck out for what I thought good reason, "if you were
referring to that Corwin of Amber, he did not die when whatever happened
happened." The glass snapped in his hand.
"You know Corwin?" he said.
"No, but I know of him," I replied.
"Several years ago, I met one of his brothers-a fellow named Brand. He
told me of the place called Amber, and of the battle in which Corwin and a
brother of his named Bleys led a horde against their brother Eric, who held the
city. Bleys fell from the mountain Kolvir and Corwin was taken prisoner. Corwin's
eyes were put out after Eric's coronation, and he was cast into the dungeons
beneath Amber, where he may yet remain if he has not since died."
Ganelon's face was drained of color as I
spoke.
"All
those names you mentioned-Brand, Bleys, Eric," he
said. "I heard him mention them in days long gone by. How long ago did you
hear of this thing?"
"It was about four years back."
"He deserved better."
"After what he did
to you?"
"Well," said the man, "I've
had a lot of time to think about it, and it is not as if I gave him no cause
for what he did. He was strong-stronger than you or Lance, even-and clever. Also,
he could be merry on occasion. Eric should have killed him quickly, not the way
that he did. I've no love for him, but my hate's died down a bit. The demon
deserved better than he got, that's all."
The second boy returned with a basket of
bread. The one who had prepared the meat removed it from the spit and set it on
a platter in the center of the table.
Ganelon nodded toward it. "Let's
eat," he said.
He rose and moved to the table.
I followed. We did not talk much during the
meaL
After stuffing myself until my stomach
would hold no more and soaking down its contents with another glass of
too-sweet wine, I began to yawn. Ganelon cursed after the third one.
"Damn it, Corey! Stop that! It's
contagious!" He stifled a yawn of his own.
"Let's take some air," he said,
rising.
So we walked out along the walls, passing
the sentries in their rounds. They would come to attention and salute Ganelon
as soon as they saw who it was approaching, and he would give them a word of
greeting and we would move on. We came to a battlement, where we paused to
rest, seating ourselves on the stone, sucking in the evening air, cool and damp
and full of the forest, and noting the appearance of the stars, one by one, in
the darkening sky. The stone was cold beneath me. Far off in the distance, I
thought I could detect the shimmer of the sea. I heard a night bird, from
somewhere below us. Ganelon produced a pipe and tobacco from a pouch he wore at
his belt. He filled it, tamped it, and struck a flame. His face would have been
satanic in the spark light, save for whatever turned his mouth downward and
drew the muscles in his cheeks up into that angle formed by the inner corners
of his eyes and the sharp bridge of his nose. A devil is supposed to have an
evil grin, and this one looked too morose.
I smelled the smoke. After a time, he began
to speak, softly and very slowly at first:
"I remember Avalon," he began. "My
birth there was not ignoble, but virtue was never one of my strong points. I
went through my inheritance quickly and I took to the roads where I waylaid
travelers. Later, I joined with a band of other men such as myself. When I
discovered I was the strongest and most fit to lead, I became the leader. There
were prices on all our heads. Mine was the highest."
He spoke more rapidly now, and his voice
grew more refined and his choice of words came as an echo from out of his past.
"Yes, I remember Avalon," he
said, "a place of silver and shade and cool waters, where
the stars shone like bonfires at
night and the green of day was always the green of spring. Youth, love,
beauty-I knew them in Avalon. Proud steeds, bright metal,
soft lips, dark ale. Honor. . ." He shook his head.
"One later day," he said,
"when war commenced within the realm, the ruler offered full pardon to any
outlaws who would follow him in battle against the insurgents. This was Corwin.
I threw in with him and rode off to the wars. I became an officer, and
then-later-a member of his staff. We won the battles, put down the uprising.
Then Corwin ruled peacefully once more, and I remained, at his court. Those
were the good years. There later came some border skirmishes, but these we
always won. He trusted me to handle such things for him. Then he granted a
Dukedom to dignify the House of a minor noble whose daughter he desired in
marriage. I had wanted that Dukedom, and he had long hinted it might one day be
mine. I was furious, and I betrayed my command the next time I was dispatched
to settle a dispute along the southern border, where something was always
stirring. Many of my men died, and the invaders entered into the realm. Before
they could be routed, Lord Corwin himself had to take up arms once more. The
invaders had come through in great strength, and I thought they would conquer
the realm. I hoped they would. But Corwin, again, with his foxy tactics,
prevailed. I fled, but was captured and taken to him for sentencing. I cursed
him and spat at him. I would not bow. I hated the ground he trod, and a
condemned man has no reason not to put up the best front he can, to go out like
a man. Corwin said he would show me a measure of mercy for favors past. I told him
to shove his mercy, and then I realized that he was mocking me. He ordered me
released and he approached me. I knew he could kill me with his hands. I tried
to fight with him, but to no avail. He struck me once and I fell. When I
awakened, I was strapped across his horse's rump. He rode along, jibing at me
the while. I would not reply to anything he said, but we rode through wondrous
lands and lands out of nightmare, which is one way I learned of his sorcerous
power-for no traveler I have ever met has passed through the places I saw that
day. Then he pronounced my exile, released me in this place, turned, and rode
away."
He paused to relight his pipe, which had
gone out, puffed upon it for a time, went on: "Many a bruising, cudgeling,
biting, and beating did I take in this place, at the hands of man and beast,
only barely preserving my life. He had left me in the wickedest portion of the
realm. But then one day my fortunes took a turn. An armored knight bade me
depart the roadway that he might pass. At that point, I cared not whether I
lived or died, so I called him a pock-marked whoreson and bade him go to the
Devil. He charged me and I seized his lance and pushed its point into the
ground, so unhorsing him. I drew him a smile beneath his chin with his own
dagger, and thus obtained me mounting and weapons. Then did I set about paying
back those who had used me poorly. I took up my old trade on the highways once
again and I gained me another band of followers. We grew. When there were
hundreds of us our needs were considerable. We would ride into a small town and
make it ours. The local militia would fear us. This, too, was a good life,
though not so splendid as the Avalon I never shall know again. All the roadside
inns came to fear the thunder of our mounts, and travelers would soil their
britches when they heard us coming. Ha! This lasted for several years. Large
parties of armed men were sent to track us and destroy us, but always we evaded
them or ambushed them. Then one day there was the dark Circle, and no one
really knows why."
He puffed more vigorously on his pipe,
stared off into the distance.
"I am told it began as a tiny ring of
toadstools, far to the west. A child was found dead in its center, and the man
who found her-her father-died of convulsions several days later. The spot was
immediately said to be accursed. It grew quickly in the months that followed,
until it was half a league across. The grasses darkened and shone like metal
within it, but did not die. The trees twisted and their leaves blackened. They
swayed when there was no wind, and bats danced and darted among them. In the
twilight, strange shapes could be seen moving-always within the Circle, mind
you-and there were lights, as of small fires, throughout the night. The Circle
continued to grow, and those who lived near it fled-mostly. A few remained. It
was said that those who remained had struck some bargain with the dark things. And
the Circle continued to widen, spreading like the ripple from a rock cast into
a pond. More and more people remained, living, within it. I have spoken with
these people, fought with them, slain them. It is as
if there is something dead inside them all. Their voices lack the thrust and
dip of men chewing over their words and tasting them. They seldom do much with
their faces, but wear them like death masks. They began to leave the Circle in
bands, marauding. They slew wantonly. They committed many atrocities and
defiled places of worship. They put things to the torch when they left them. They
never stole objects of silver. Then, after many months, other creatures than
men began to come forth-strangely formed, like the hellcats you slew.
"Then the Circle slowed in its growth,
almost halting, as though it were nearing some sort of limit. But now all
manner of raiders emerged from it-some even faring
forth during the day-laying waste to the countryside about its borders. When
they had devastated the land about its entire circumference, the Circle moved
to encompass those areas, also. And so its growth began again, in this fashion.
The old king, Uther, who had long hunted me, forgot all about me and set his
forces to patrolling that damned Circle. It was beginning to worry me, also, as I did not relish the notion of being seized by
some hell-spawned bloodsucker as I slept. So I got together fifty-five of my
men-that was all who would volunteer, and I wanted no cowards-and we rode into
that place one afternoon. We came upon a pack of those dead-faced men burning a
live goat on a stone altar and we lit into the lot of them. We took one
prisoner and tied him to his own altar and questioned him there. He told us
that the Circle would grow until it covered the entire land, from ocean to
ocean. One day it would close with itself on the other side of the world. We
had best join with them, if we wished to save our hides. Then one of my men
stabbed him and he died. He really died, for I know a dead man when I see one. I've
made it happen often enough. But as his blood fell upon the stone, his mouth
opened and out came the loudest laugh I ever heard in my life. It was like
thunder all about us. Then he sat up, unbreathing, and began to burn. As he burned, his form changed, until it was like
that of the burning goat-only larger-there upon the altar. Then a voice came
from the thing. It said, 'Flee, mortal man! But you shall never leave this
Circle!' And believe me, we fled! The sky grew black with bats and
other-things. We heard the sound of hoofbeats. We rode with our blades in our
hands, killing everything that came near us. There were cats such as you slew,
and snakes and hopping things, and God knows what all else. As we neared the
edge of the Circle, one of King Uther's patrols saw us and came to our aid. Sixteen
of the fifty-five who had ridden in with me rode back out. And the patrol lost
perhaps thirty men itself. When they saw who I was, they hustled me off to
court. Here. This used to be Uther's palace. I told him what I had done, what I
had seen and heard. He did with me as Corwin had. He offered full pardon to me
and to my men if we would join with him against the Wardens of the Circle. Having
gone through what I had gone through, I realized that the thing had to be
stopped. So I agreed. Then I fell ill, I am told that I was delirious for three
days. I was as weak as a child after my recovery, and I learned that everyone
who had entered the Circle had been likewise taken. Three had died. I visited
the rest of my men, told them the story, and they were enlisted. The patrols
about the Circle were strengthened. But it would not be contained. In the years
that followed, the Circle grew. We fought many skirmishes. I was promoted until
I stood at Uther's right hand, as once I had at Corwin's. Then the skirmishes
became more than skirmishes. Larger and larger parties emerged from that
hellhole. We lost a few battles. They took some of our outposts. Then one night
an army emerged, an army-a horde-of both men and the other things that dwelled
there. That night we met the largest force we had ever engaged. King Uther himself
rode to battle, against my advice-for he was advanced in years-and he fell that
night and the land was without a ruler. I wanted my captain, Lancelot, to sit
in stewardship, for I knew him to be a far more honorable man than myself. . .
. And it is strange here. I had known a Lancelot, just like him, in Avalon-but
this man knew me not when first we met. It is strange. . . . At any rate, he
declined, and the position was thrust upon me. I hate it, but here I am. I have
held them back for over three years now. All my instincts tell me to flee. What
do I owe these damned people? What do I care if the bloody Circle widens? I
could cross over the sea to some land it would never reach during my lifetime,
and then forget the whole thing. Damn it! I didn't want this responsibility!
Now it is mine, though!"
"Why?" I asked him, and the sound
of my own voice was strange to me.
There was silence.
He emptied his pipe. He refilled it. He
relit it. He puffed it.
There was more silence.
Then, "I don't know," he said. "I'd
stab a man in the back for a pair of shoes, if he had them and I needed them to
keep my feet from freezing. I once did, that's how I know. But . . . this is
different. This is a thing hurting everybody, and I'm the only one who can do
the job. God damn it! I know they're going to bury me here one day, along with
all the rest of them. But I can't pull out. I've got to hold that thing back as
long as I can."
My head was cleared by the cold night air,
which gave my consciousness a second wind, so to speak, though my body felt
mildly anesthetized about me.
"Couldn't Lance lead them?" I
asked.
"I'd say so. He's a good man. But
there is another reason. I think that goat-thing, whatever it was, on the
altar, is a bit afraid of me. I had gone in there and it had told me I'd never
make it back out again, but I did. I lived through the sickness that followed
after. It knows it's me that has been fighting it all along. We won that great
bloody engagement on the night Uther died, and I met the thing again in a
different form and it knew me. Maybe this is a part of what is holding it back
now."
"What form?"
"A thing with a
manlike shape, but with goat horns and red eyes. It was mounted on a
piebald stallion. We fought for a time, but the tide of the battle swept us
apart. Which was a good thing, too, for it was winning. It spoke again, as we swaggered swords, and I knew that head-filling voice. It
called me a fool and told me I could never hope to win. But when morning came,
the field was ours and we drove them back to the Circle, slaying them as they
fled. The rider of the piebald escaped. There have been other sallyings forth
since then, but none such as that night's. If I were to leave this land,
another such army-one that is readying even now-would come forth. That thing
would somehow know of my departure-just as it knew that Lance was bringing me
another report on the disposition of troops within the Circle, sending those
Wardens to destroy him as he returned. It knows of you by now, and surely it
must wonder over this development. It must wonder who you are, for all your
strength. I will stay here and fight it till I fall. I must. Do not ask me why.
I only hope that before that day comes, I at least learn how this thing came to
pass-why that Circle is out there."
Then there came a fluttering near to my
head. I ducked quickly to avoid whatever it was. It was not necessary, though.
It was only a bird. A white bird. It landed on my left
shoulder and stood there, making small noises. I held up my wrist and it hopped
over onto it There was a note tied to its leg. I
unfastened it, read it, crumpled it in my hand. Then I
studied invisible things distant.
"What is the matter.
Sir Corey?" cried Ganelon.
The note, which I had sent on ahead to my
destination, written in my own hand, transmitted by a bird of my desire, could
only reach the place that had to be my next stop. This was not precisely the
place that I had in mind. However, I could read my own omens.
"What is it?" he asked. "What
is it that you hold? A message?"
I nodded. I handed it to him. I could not
very well throw it away, since he had seen me take it. It read, "I am
coming," and it bore my signature. Ganelon puffed his pipe and read it in
the glow.
"He lives? And he would come
here?" he said.
"So it would seem."
"This is very strange," he said. "I
do not understand it at all..."
"It sounds like a promise of
assistance," I said, dismissing the bird, which cooed twice, then circled
my head and departed.
Ganelon shook his head.
"I do not understand."
"Why number the teeth of a horse you
may receive for nothing?" I said. "You have only succeeded in
containing that thing."
"True," he said. "Perhaps he
could destroy it."
"And perhaps it's just a joke," I
told him. "A cruel one."
He shook his head again.
"No. That is not his style. I wonder
what he is after?"
"Sleep on it," I suggested.
"There is little else that I can do,
just now," he said, stifling a yawn.
We rose then and walked the wall. We said our good
nights, and I staggered off toward the pit of sleep and fell headlong into it.
Chapter 2
Day. More aches. More pains.
Someone had
left me a new cloak, a brown one, which I decided was a good thing. Especially
if I put on more weight and Ganelon recalled my colors. I did not shave my
beard, because be had known me in a slightly less hairy condition. I took pains
to disguise my voice whenever he was about. I hid Grayswandir beneath my bed.
For all of
the following week I drove myself ruthlessly. I worked and sweated and strove
until the aches subsided and my muscles grew firm once more. I think I put on
fifteen pounds that week. Slowly, very slowly, I began feeling like my old
self.
The country
was called
I guess a
polite term would be camp follower. I met her at the end of a hard day's work,
spent mainly with the saber and the mace. She was standing off on the side
lines waiting for her date when I first caught sight of her. She smiled and I
smiled back, nodded, winked, and passed her by. The next day I saw her again,
and I said "Hello" as I passed her. That's all.
Well, I
kept running into her. By the end of my second week, when my aches were gone
and I was over a hundred-eighty pounds and feeling that way again, I arranged
to be with her one evening. By then, I was aware of her status and it was fine,
so far as I was concerned. But we did not do the usual thing that night. No.
Instead, we
talked, and then something else happened.
Her hair
was rust-colored with a few strands of gray in it. I guessed she was under thirty, though. Eyes, very blue.
Slightly pointed chin. Clean, even teeth inside a mouth
that smiled at me a lot. Her voice was somewhat nasal, her hair was too long,
her make-up laid on too heavily over too much tiredness, her complexion too
freckled, her choice in clothing too bright and tight. But I liked her. I did
not think I'd actually feel that way when I asked her out that night because,
as I said, liking her was not what I had in mind.
There was
no place to go but my chamber, so we had gone there. I had become a captain,
and I took advantage of my rank by having dinner brought to us, and an extra
bottle of wine.
"The
men are afraid of you," she said. "They say you never grow
tired."
"I
do," I said, "believe me."
"Of
course," she said, shaking her too-long locks and smiling. "Don't we
all?"
"I
daresay," I replied.
"How old are you?"
"How
old are you?"
"A
gentleman would not ask that question."
"Neither would a lady?"
"When
you first came here, they thought you were over fifty."
"And. . . ?"
"And
now they have no idea. Forty-five? Forty?"
"No," I said.
"I
didn't think so. But your beard fooled everyone."
"Beards often do that."
"You
look better every day. Bigger. . ."
"Thanks. I feel better than I did when I arrived."
"Sir
Corey of Cabra," she said. "Where's Cabra? What's Cabra? Will you
take me there with you, if I ask you nicely?"
"I'd
tell you so," I said, "but I'd be lying."
"I
know. But it would be nice to hear."
"Okay. I'll take you there with me. It's place."
"Are
you really as good as the men say?"
"I'm
afraid not. Are you?"
"Not
really. Do you want to go to bed now?"
"No.
I'd rather talk. Have a glass of wine."
"Thank
you. . . . Your health."
"Yours."
"Why
is it you are such a good swordsman?"
"Aptitude and good teachers."
". . .
And you carried Lance all that distance and slew those beasts. . ."
"Stories grow with the telling."
"But I
have watched you. You are better than the others. That is why Ganelon made you
whatever deal he did. He knows a good thing when he sees it. I've had many
friends who were swordsmen, and I've watched them at practice. You could cut
them to pieces. The men say you are a good teacher. They like you, even if you
do scare them."
"Why
do I frighten them? Because I am strong? There are
many strong men in the world. Because I can stand up and swing a blade for a
long while?"
"They
think there is something supernatural involved."
I laughed.
"No,
I'm just the second-best swordsman around. Pardon me-maybe the third. But I try
harder."
"Who's
better?"
"Eric of Amber, possibly."
"Who
is he?"
"A supernatural creature."
"He's
the best?"
"No."
"Who
is?"
"Benedict of Amber."
"Is he
one, too?"
"If he
is still alive, he is."
"Strange, that's what you are," she said. "And why? Tell
me. Are you a supernatural creature?"
"Let's
have another glass of wine."
"lt'll go to my head."
"Good."
I poured them.
"We
are all going to die," she said.
"Eventually."
"I
mean here, soon, fighting this thing."
"Why
do you say that?"
"It's
too strong."
"Then
why stick around?"
"I've
no place else to go. That's why I ask you about Cabra"
"And
why you came here tonight?"
"No. I
came to see what you were like."
"I am
an athlete who is breaking training. Were you born around here?"
"Yes.
In the wood"
"Why'd
you pick up with these guys?"
"Why not? It's better than getting pig shit on my heels
every day."
"Never
have a man of your own? Steady, I mean?"
"Yes.
He's dead. He's the one who found . . . the Fairy Ring."
"I'm
sorry."
"I'm
not. He used to get drunk whenever he could borrow or steal enough to afford it
and then come home and beat me. I was glad when I met Ganelon."
"So
you think that the thing is too strong, that we are going to lose to it?"
"Yes."
"You
may be right. But I think you're wrong." She shrugged.
"You'll be fighting with us?"
"I'm
aftaid so."
"Nobody knew for sure, or would say if they did. That might prove
interesting. I'd like to see you fight with the goat-man."
"Why?"
"Because he seems to
be their leader. If you killed him, we'd have more of a chance. You
might be able to do it."
"I
have to," I said.
"Special reason?"
"Yes."
"Private one?"
"Yes."
"Good
luck."
"Thanks."
She
finished her wine, so I poured her another.
"I
know he is a supernatural creature," she said.
"Let's
get off the subject."
"All right. But will you do me a thing?"
"Name
it."
"Put
on armor tomorrow, pick up a lance, get hold of a horse, and trounce that big
cavalry officer Harald."
"Why?"
"He
beat me last week, just like Jarl used to. Can you do it?"
"Yes "
"Will
you?"
"Why not? Consider him trounced."
She came
over and leaned against me.
"I
love you," she said.
"Crap."
"All right. How about, I like you?"
"Good
enough. I-"
Then a
chill and numbing wind blew along my spine. I stiffened and resisted what was
to come by blanking my mind completely.
Someone was
looking for me. It was someone of the House of Amber, doubtless, and he was
using my Trump or something very like it. There was no mistaking the sensation.
If it was Eric, then he had more guts than I gave him credit for, since I had
almost napalmed his brain the last time we had been in contact. It could not be
Random, unless he was out of prison, which I doubted. If it was Julian or
Caine, they could go to hell. Bleys was probably dead. Possibly
Benedict, too. That left Gerard, Brand, and our sisters. Of these, only
Gerard might mean me well. So I resisted discovery, successfully. It took me
perhaps five minutes, and when it was finished I was shaking and sweating and
"What
happened?" she asked. "You aren't drunk yet, and neither am I."
"Just
a spell I sometimes get," I said. "It's a disease I picked up in the
islands."
"I saw
a face," she said. "Perhaps it was on the floor, maybe it was in my
head. It was an old man. The collar of his garment was green and he looked a
lot like you, except that his beard was gray." I slapped her then.
"You're lying! You couldn't have. . ."
"I'm
just telling you what I saw! Don't hit me! I don't know what it meant! Who was
he?"
"I
think it was my father. God, it's strange. . ."
"What
happened?" she repeated.
"A
spell," I said. "I sometimes get them, and people think they see my
father on the castle wall or floor. Don't worry about it. It's not
contagious."
"Crap," she said. "You're lying to me."
"I
know. But please forget the whole thing."
"Why
should I?"
"Because you like me," I told her. "Remember? And because
I'm going to trounce Harald for you tomorrow."
"That's true," she said, and I started shaking again and she
fetched a blanket from the bed and put it about my shoulders.
She handed
me my wine and I drank it. She sat beside me and rested her head on my
shoulder, so I put my arm about her. A devil wind began to scream and I heard
the rapid rattle of the rainfall that came with it. For a second, it seemed
that something beat agains the shutters.
"I do
not like what is happening tonight," she said.
"Neither do I. Go bar the door. It's only
bolted right now."
As she did
this, I moved our seat so that it faced my single window. I fetched Grayswandir
out from beneath the bed and unsheathed it. Then I extinguished every light in
the room, save for a single candle on the table to my right.
I reseated
myself, my blade across my knees.
"What
are we doing?"
"Waiting," I said.
"For what?"
"I am
not positive, but this is certainly the night for it."
She
shuddered and drew near.
"You
know, perhaps you had better leave," I said.
"I
know," she said, "but I'm afraid to go out. You'll be able to protect
me if I stay here, won't you?"
I shook my
head.
"I
don't even know if I'll be able to protect myself."
She touched
Grayswandir.
"What
a beautiful blade! I've never seen one like it."
"There
isn't another," I said, and each time that I shifted a little, the light
fell differently upon it, so that one moment it seemed filmed over with unhuman
blood of an orange tint and the next it lay there cold and white as snow or a
woman's breast, quivering in my hand each time a little chill took me.
I wondered
how it was that
"There
is something strange about you" I said.
She was
silent for four or five flickerings of the candle, then
said, "I've a touch of the second sight. My mother had more of it. People
say my grandmother was a sorceress. I don't know any of that business, though.
Well, not much of it. I haven't done it for years. I always wind up losing more
than I gain."
Then she
was silent again, and I asked her, "What do you mean?"
"I
used a spell to get my first man," she said, "and look what he turned
out to be. If I hadn't, I'd have been a lot better off. I wanted a pretty
daughter, and I made that happen-" She stopped abruptly and I realized she
was crying.
"What's the matter? I don't understand . . ."
"I
thought you knew," she said. "No, I'm afraid not."
"She was the little girl in the
"I'm
sorry."
"I
wish I didn't have the touch. I never use it any more. But it won't let me
alone. It still brings me dreams and signs, and they are never over things I
can do anything about. I wish it would go away and devil somebody else!"
"That's the one thing it will not do,
"How
do you know?"
"I've
known people like you in the past, that's all."
"You've a touch of it yourself, haven't you?"
"Yes."
"Then
you feel that there is something out there now, don't
you?"
"Yes."
"So do
I. Do you know what it is doing?"
"It's
looking for me."
"Yes,
I feel that, too. Why?"
"Perhaps to test my strength. It knows that I am here.
If I am a new ally come to Ganelon, it must wonder what I represent, who I am.
. ."
"Is it
the horned one himself?"
"I
don't know. I think not, though."
"Why not?"
"If I
am really he who would destroy it, it would be foolish to seek me out here in
the keep of its enemy when I am surrounded by strength. I would say one of its
minions is looking for me. Perhaps, somehow, that is what my father's ghost . .
. I do not know. If its servant finds me and names me, it will know what
preparations to make. If it finds me and destroys me, it will have solved the
problem. If I destroy the servant, it will know that much more about my
strength. Whichever way it works out, the horned one will be something ahead.
So why should it risk its own pronged dome at this stage in the game?"
We waited,
there in the shadow-clad chamber, as the taper burned away the minutes.
She asked
me, "What did you mean when you said, if it finds you and names you . . .
? Names you what?"
"The
one who almost did not come here," I said.
"You
think that it might know you from somewhere, somehow?" she asked.
"I
think it might," I said. She drew away from me then.
"Don't
be afraid," I said. "I won't hurt you."
"I am
afraid, and you will hurt me!" she said. "I know it! But I want you!
Why do I want you?"
"I
don't know," I said.
"There
is something out there now!" she said, sounding slightly hysterical.
"It's near! It's very near! Listen! Listen!"
"Shut
up!" I said, as a cold, prickly feeling came to rest on the back of my
neck and coiled about my throat. "Get over on the far side of the room,
behind the bed!"
"I'm
afraid of the dark," she said.
"Do it, or I'll have to knock you out and carry you. You'lI be in my way here."
I could
hear a heavy flapping above the storm, and there came a scratching on the stone
of the wall as she moved to obey me.
Then I was
looking into two hot, red eyes which were looking back into my own. I dropped
mine quickly. The thing stood there on the ledge outside the window and
regarded me.
It was well
over six feet in height, with great branches of antlers growing out of its
forehead. Nude, its flesh was a uniform ash-gray in color. It appeared to be
sexless, and it had gray, leathery wings extending far out behind it and
joining with the night. It held a short, heavy sword of dark metal in its right
hand, and there were runes carved all along the blade. With its left hand, it
clutched at the lattice.
"Enter
at your peril," I said loudly, and I raised the point of Grayswandir to
indicate its breast.
It
chuckled. It just stood there and chuckled and giggled at me. It tried to meet
my eyes once more, but I would not let it. If it looked into my eyes for long,
it would know me, as the hellcat had known me.
When it
spoke, it sounded like a bassoon blowing words.
"You
are not the one," it said, "for you are smaller and older. Yet . . .
That blade . . . It could be his. Who are you?"
"Who
are you?" I asked.
"Strygalldwir is my name. Conjure with it and I will eat your heart
and liver."
"Conjure with it? I can't even pronounce it," I said,
"and my cirrhosis would give you indigestion. Go away."
"Who are
you?" it repeated.
"Misli, gammi gra'dil, Strygalldwir," I said, and it jumped as
if given a hotfoot.
"You
seek to drive me forth with such a simple spell?" it asked when it settled
again. "I am not one of the lesser ones."
"It
seemed to make you a bit uncomfortable."
"Who
are you?" it said again.
"None of your business, Charlie. Ladybird, Ladybird,
fly away home-"
"Four
times must I ask you and four times be refused before I may enter and slay you.
Who are you?"
"No," I said, standing. "Come on in and burn!"
Then it
tore away the latticework, and the wind that accompanied it into the chamber
extinguished the candle.
I lunged
forward, and there were sparks between us when Grayswandir met the dark
rune-sword. We clashed, then I sprang back. My eyes
had adjusted to the half dark, so the loss of the light did not blind me. The
creature saw well enough, also. It was stronger than a man, but then so am I.
We circled the room. An icy wind moved about us, and when we passed the window
again, cold droplets lashed my face. The first time that I cut the creature-a
long slash across the breast-it remained silent, though tiny flames danced
about the edges of the wound. The second time that I cut it-high upon the
arm-it cried out, cursing me.
"Tonight I will suck the marrow from your bones!" it said.
"I will dry them and work them most cunningly into instruments of music!
Whenever I play upon them, your spirit will writhe in bodiless agonyl"
"You
burn prettily," I said.
It slowed
for a fraction of a second, and my opportunity was there.
I beat that
dark blade aside and my lunge was perfect. The center of its breast was my
target. I ran it through.
It howled
then, but did not fall. Grayswandir was torn from my grasp and flames bloomed
about the wound. It stood there wearing them. It advanced a step toward me and
I picked up a small chair and held it between us.
"I do
not keep my heart where men do," it said.
Then it
lunged, but I blocked the blow with the chair and caught it in the right eye
with one of the legs. I throw the chair to the side then, and stepping forward,
seized its right wrist and turned it over. I struck the elbow with the edge of
my hand, as hard as I could. There came a sharp crack and the runesword
clattered to the floor. Then its left hand struck my head and I fell.
It leaped
for the blade, and I seized its ankle and jerked.
It
sprawled, and I threw myself atop it and found its throat. I turned my head
into the hollow of my shoulder, chin against my breast, as it clawed for my
face with its left hand.
As my death
grip tightened, its eyes sought mine, and this time I did not avoid them. There
came a tiny shock at the base of my brain, as we both knew that we knew.
"You!" it managed to gasp, before I twisted my hands hard and
the life went out of those red red eyes.
I stood,
put my foot upon its carcass, and withdrew Grayswandir.
The thing
burst into flames when my blade came free, and kept burning until there was
nothing remaining but a charred spot upon the floor.
Then
Lance and
Ganelon and I sat atop our mounts on a high hill, the late morning sun hitting
us in the back, and we looked down into the place. Its appearance confirmed
things for me.
It was akin
to that twisted wood that filled the valley to the south of Amber.
Oh my
father! What have I wrought? I said within my heart, but there was no answer
other than the dark Circle that lay beneath me and
spread for as far as the eye could see.
Through the
bars of my visor, I looked down upon it-charred-seeming, desolate, and smelling
of decay. I lived inside my visor these days. The men looked upon it as an
affectation, but my rank gave me the right to be eccentric. I had worn it for
over two weeks, since my battle with Strygalldwir. I had put it on the
following morning before I trounced Harald to keep my promise to
I weighed
perhaps fourteen stone now, and felt like my old self again. If I could help
clean up this mess in the land called
"So
that's it," I said. "I don't see any troops mustering."
"I believe
we will have to ride north," said Lance, "and we will doubtless only
see them after dark."
"How far north?"
"Three or four leagues. They move about a bit."
We had
ridden for two days to reach the Circle. We had met a patrol earlier that
morning and learned that the troops inside the thing continued to muster every
night. They went through various drills and then were gone-to someplace deeper
inside-with the coming of morning. A perpetual thunderhead, I learned, rode
above the Circle, though the storm never broke.
"Shall
we breakfast here and then ride north?" I asked.
"Why
not?" said Ganelon. "I'm starved and we've time."
So we
dismounted and ate dried meat and drank from our canteens.
"I
still do not understand that note," said Ganelon, after belching, patting
his stomach, and lighting his pipe. "Will he stand beside us in the final
battle, or will he not? Where is he, if he intends to help? The day of conflict
draws nearer and nearer."
"Forget him," I said. "It was probably a joke."
"I
can't, damn it!" he said. "There is something passing strange about
the whole business!"
"What
is it?" asked Lance, and for the first time I realized that Ganelon had
not told him.
"My
old liege, Lord Corwin, sends an odd message by carrier bird, saying he is
coming. I had thought him dead, but he sent this message," Ganelon told
him. "I still do not know what to make of it."
"Corwin?" said Lance, and I held my breath. "Corwin
of Amber?"
"Yes, Amber and Avalon."
"Forget his message."
"Why?"
"He is
a man without honor, and his promise means nothing."
"You
know him?"
"I
know of him. Long ago, he ruled in this land. Do you not recall the stories of
the demon lordling? They are the same. That was Corwin, in days before my days.
The best thing he did was abdicate and flee when the
resistance grew too strong against him."
That was
not true! Or was it?
Amber casts
an infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of
its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I
had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them,
mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.
"No," said Ganelon, "I never paid heed to the old
stories. I wonder if it could have been the same man, ruling here. That is
interesting."
"Very," I agreed, to keep my hand in things. "But if he
ruled so long ago, surely he must be dead or decrepit by now."
"He
was a sorcerer," said Lance.
"The
one I knew certainly was," said Ganelon, "for he banished me from a
land neither art nor artifice can discover now."
"You
never spoke of this before," said Lance. "How did it occur?"
"None
of your business," said Ganelon, and Lance was silent once again.
I hauled
out my own pipe-I had obtained one two days earlier-and Lance did the same. It
was a clay job and drew hot and hard. We lit up, and the three of us sat there
smoking.
"Well,
he did the smart thing," said Ganelon. "Let's forget it now."
We did not,
of course. But we stayed away from the subject after that.
If it had
not been for the dark thing behind us, it would have been quite pleasant, just
sitting there, relaxing. Suddenly, I felt close to the two of them. I wanted to
say something, but I could not think what.
Ganelon
solved that by bringing up current business once more.
"So
you want to hit them before they hit us?" he said.
"That's right," I replied. "Take the fight to their home
territory."
"The
trouble is that it is their home territory," he said. "They know it
better than we do now, and who knows what powers they might be able to call on
there?"
"Kill
the horned one and they will crumble," I said.
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe
you could do it," said Ganelon. "Unless I got lucky, though, I don't
know whether I could. He's too mean to die easily. While I think I'm still as
good a man as I was some years ago, I may be fooling myself. Perhaps I've grown
soft. I never wanted this damn stay-at-home job!"
"I
know," I said.
"I
know," said Lance.
"Lance," said Ganelon, "should we do as our friend here
says? Should we attack?"
He could
have shrugged and equivocated. He did not.
"Yes," he said. "They almost had us last time. It was
very close the night King Uther died. If we do not attack them now, I feel they
may defeat us next time. Oh, it would not be easy, and we would hurt them
badly. But I think they could do it. Let us see what we can see now, then make our plans for an attack."
"All
right," said Ganelon. "I am sick of waiting too. Tell me that again
after we return and I'll go along with it." So we did that thing.
We rode
north that afternoon, and we hid ourselves in the hills and looked down upon
the Circle. Within it, they worshiped, after their fashion, and they drilled. I
estimated around four thousand troops. We had about twenty-five hundred. They
also had weird flying, hopping, crawling things that made noises in the night.
We had stout hearts. Yeah.
All that I
needed was a few minutes alone with their leader, and it would be decided, one
way or another. The whole thing. I could not tell my
companions that, but it was true.
You see, I
was the party responsible for the whole thing down there. I had done it, and it
was up to me to undo it, if I could.
I was
afraid that I could not.
In a fit of
passion, compounded of rage, horror, and pain, I had unleashed this thing, and
it was reflected somewhere in every earth in existence. Such is the blood curse
of a Prince of Amber.
We watched
them all that night, the Wardens of the Circle, and in the morning we departed.
The verdict
was, attack!
So we rode
all the way back and nothing followed us. When we reached the Keep of Ganelon,
we fell to planning. Our troops were ready-over-ready, perhaps -and we decided
to strike within a fortnight.
As I lay
with
"I'll
stay with you," she said.
"Okay."
I did not
tell her that I felt everything lay within my hands, but I have a feeling she
knew and that for some reason she trusted me. I would not have, but that was
her affair.
"You
know how things might be," I said.
"I
know," she said, and I knew that she knew and that was it.
We turned
our attention to other subjects, and later we slept.
She'd had a
dream.
In the
morning, she said to me, "I had a dream."
"What about?" I asked.
"The
coming battle," she told me. "I see you and the homed one locked in
combat."
"Who
wins?"
"I
don't know. But as you slept, I did a thing that might help you."
"I
wish you had not," I said. "I can take care of myself."
"Then
I dreamed of my own death, in this time."
"Let
me take you away to a place I know."
"No,
my place is here," she told me.
"I
don't pretend to own you," I said, "but I can save you from whatever
you've dreamed. That much lies within my power, believe me."
"I do
believe you, but I will not go."
"You're a damned fool."
"Let
me stay."
"As
you wish. . . . Listen, I'll even send you to Cabra..."
"No."
"You're a damned fool."
"I
know. I love you."
". . .
And a stupid one. The word is 'like.' Remember?"
"You'll do it," she said.
"Go to
hell," I said.
Then she
wept, softly, until I comforted her once again.
That was
Chapter 3
I thought
back, one morning, upon all that had gone before. I thought of my brothers and
sisters as though they were playing cards, which I knew was wrong. I thought
back to the rest home where I had awakened, back to the battle for Amber, back
to my walking the Pattern in Rebma, and back to that time with Moire, who just
might be Eric's by now. I thought of Bleys and of Random, Deirdre, Caine,
Gerard, and Eric, that morning. It was the morning of the battle, of course,
and we were camped in the hills near the Circle. We had been attacked several
times along the way, but they had been brief, guerrilla affairs. We had
dispatched our assailants and continued. When we reached the area we had
decided upon, we made our camp, posted guards, and retired. We slept
undisturbed. I awoke wondering whether my brothers and sisters thought of me as
I thought of them. It was a very sad thought.
In the
privacy of a small grove, my helmet filled with soapy water, I shaved my beard.
Then I dressed, slowly, in my private and tattered colors. I was as hard as
stone, dark as soil, and mean as hell once more.
Today would
be the day. I donned my visor, put on chain mail, buckled my belt, and hung
Grayswandir at my side. Then I fastened my cloak at my neck with a silver rose
and was discovered by a messenger who had been looking for me to tell me that
things were about ready.
I kissed
There I met
with Ganelon and with Lance. They said, "We are ready."
I called
for my officers and briefed them. They saluted, turned and rode away.
"Soon," said Lance, lighting his pipe.
"How
is your arm?"
"Fine,
now," he replied, "after that workout you gave it yesterday.
Perfect." I opened my visor and lit my own pipe.
"You've shaved your beard," said Lance. "I cannot picture
you without it."
"The
helm fits better this way," I said.
"Good
fortune to us all," said Ganelon.
"I
know no gods, but if any care to be with us, I welcome them."
"There
is but one God," said Lance. "I pray that He be with us."
"Amen," said Ganelon, lighting his pipe. "For
today."
"It
will be ours," said Lance.
"Yes," said I, as the sun stirred the east and the birds of
morning the air, "it has that feel to it." We emptied our pipes when
we had finished and tucked them away at our belts. Then we secured ourselves
with final tightenings and claspings of our armor and Ganelon said, "Let
us be about it."
My officers
reported back to me. My sections were ready.
We filed
down the hillside, and we assembled outside the Circle. Nothing stirred within
it, and no troops were visible.
"I
wonder about Corwin," Ganelon said to me.
"He is
with us," I told him, and he looked at me strangely, seemed to notice the
rose for the first time, then nodded brusquely.
"Lance," he said, when we had assembled. "Give the
order."
And Lance
drew his blade. His cried "Charge!" echoed about us.
We were half
a mile inside the Circle before anything happened. There were five hundred of
us in the lead, all mounted. A dark cavalry appeared, and we met them. After
five minutes, they broke and we rode on. Then we heard the thunder.
There was
lightning, and the rain began to fall.
The
thunderhead had finally broken.
A thin line
of foot soldiers, pikemen mainly, barred our way, waiting stoically. Maybe we
all smelled the trap, but we bore down upon them. Then the cavalry hit our
flanks.
We wheeled,
and the fighting began in earnest. It was perhaps twenty minutes later. . . We
held out, waiting for the main body to arrive. Then the two hundred or so of us
rode on. . .
Men. It was men that we slew, that slew us-grayfaced,
dour-countenanced men. I wanted more. One more...
Theirs must
have been a semi-metaphysical problem in logistics. How much could be diverted
through this Gateway? I was not sure. Soon . . .
We topped a
rise, and far ahead and below us lay a dark citadel.
I raised my
blade.
As we
descended, they attacked.
They hissed
and they croaked and they flapped. That meant, to me, that he was running low
on people. Grayswandir became a flame in my hand, a thunderbolt, a portable
electric chair. I slew them as fast as they approached, and they burned as they
died. To my right, I saw Lance draw a similar line of chaos, and he was
muttering beneath his breath. Prayers for the dead, no doubt.
To my left, Ganelon laid about him, and a wake of fires followed behind his
horse's tail. Through the flashing lightning, the citadel loomed larger.
The hundred
or so of us stormed ahead, and the abominations fell by the wayside.
When we
reached the gate, we were faced by an infantry of men and beasts. We charged.
They outnumbered us, but we had little
choice. Perhaps we had proceeded our own infantry by
too much. But I thought not. Time, as I saw it, was all important now.
"I've
got to get through!" I cried. "He's inside!"
"He's
mine!" said Lance.
"You're
both welcome to him!" said Ganelon, laying about him. "Cross when you
can! I'm with you!"
We slew and
we slew and we slew, and then the tide turned in their favor. They pressed us,
all the ugly things that were more or less than human, mixed in with human
troops. We were drawn up into a tight knot, defending ourselves on all sides,
when our bedraggled infantry arrived and began hacking. We pressed for the gate
once more and made it this time, all forty or fifty of us.
We won
through, and then there were troops in the courtyard to be slain.
The dozen
or so of us who made it to the foot of the dark tower were faced by a final
guard contingent.
"Go
it!" cried Ganelon, as we leaped from our horses and waded into them.
"Go
it!" cried Lance, and I guess they both meant me, or each other.
I took it
to mean me, and I broke away from the fray and raced up the stairs.
He would be
there, in the highest tower, I knew; and I would have to face him, and face him
down. I did not know whether I could, but I had to try, because I was the only
one who knew where he really came from-and I was the one who put him there.
I came to a
heavy wooden door at the top of the stairs. I tried it, but it was secured from
the other side. So I kicked it as hard as I could. It fell inward with a crash.
I saw him
there by the window, a man-formed body dressed in light armor, goat head upon
those massive shoulders.
I crossed
the threshold and stopped.
He had
turned to stare as the door had fallen, and now he sought my eyes through
steel.
"Mortal man, you have come too far," he said. "Or are you
mortal man?" and there was a blade in his hand.
"Ask
Strygalldwir," I said.
"You
are the one who slew him," he stated. "Did he name you?"
"Maybe."
There were
footsteps on the stairs behind me. I stepped to the left of the doorway.
Ganelon
burst into the chamber and I called "Halt!" and he did.
He turned
to me.
"This
is the thing," he said. "What is it?"
"My
sin against a thing I loved," I said. "Stay away from it. It's
mine."
"You're welcome to it." He stood stock still.
"Did
you really mean that?" asked the creature.
"Find
out," I said, and leaped forward.
But it did
not fence with me. Instead, it did what any mortal fencer would consider
foolish.
It buried
its blade at me, point forward, like a thunderbolt. And the sound of its
passage came like a clap of thunder. The elements outside the tower echoed it,
a deafening response.
With Grayswandir, I parried that blade as
though it were an ordinary thrust. It embedded itself in the floor and burst
into flames. Without, the lightning responded.
For an
instant, the light was as blinding as a magnesium flare, and in that moment the
creature was upon me.
It pinned
my arms to my sides, and its horns struck against my visor, once, twice...
Then I
threw my strength against those arms, and their grip began to weaken.
I dropped
Grayswandir, and with a final heave broke the hold it had upon me.
In that
moment, however, our eyes met.
Then we
both struck, and we both reeled back.
"Lord
of Amber," it said then, "why do you strive with me? It was you who
gave us this passage, this way..."
"I
regret a rash act and seek to undo it."
"Too
late-and this a strange place to begin." It struck again, so quickly that
it got through my guard. I was slammed back against the wall. Its speed was
deadly.
And then it
raised its hand and made a sign, and I had a vision of the Courts of Chaos come
upon me- a vision that made my hackles rise, made a chill wind blow across my
soul, to know what I had done.
"You
see?" it was saying. "You gave us this Gateway. Help us now, and we
will restore to you that which is yours."
For a moment I was swayed. It was possible
that it could do just what it had offered, if I would help.
But it
would be a threat forever after. Allies briefly, we would be at each other's
throats after we got what we wanted-and those dark forces would be much
stronger by then. Still, if I held the city. . .
"Do we
have a bargain?" came the sharp, near-bleat of
the question.
I thought
upon the shadows, and of the places beyond Shadow...
Slowly, I
reached up and unbuckled my helm . . .
Then I
hurled it, just as the creature seemed to relax. I think Ganelon was moving
forward by then.
I leaped
across the chamber and drove it back against the wall.
"No!" I cried.
Its manlike
hands found my throat at about the same instant mine wrapped about its own.
I squeezed,
with all my strength, and twisted. I guess it did the same.
I heard
something snap like a dry stick. I wondered whose neck had broken. Mine sure
hurt.
I opened my
eyes and there was the sky. I was lying on my back on a blanket on the ground.
"I'm
afraid he's going to live," said Ganelon, and I turned my head, slowly, in
the direction of his voice.
He was
seated on the edge of the blanket, sword across his knees.
"How
goes it?" I said.
"We've
won," he told me. "You've kept your promise. When you killed that
thing, it was all over. The men fell senseless, the creatures burned."
"Good."
"I
have been sitting here wondering why I no longer hate you."
"Have
you reached any conclusions?"
"No, not really. Maybe it's because we're a lot alike.
I don't know." I smiled at
"I'm
glad you're very poor when it comes to prophecy. The battle is over and you're
still alive."
"The
death has already begun," she said, not returning my smile.
"What
do you mean?"
"They
still tell stories of how the Lord Corwin had my grandfather executed-drawn and
quartered publicly-for leading one of the early uprisings against him."
"That
wasn't me," I said. "It was one of my shadows."
But she
shook her head and said, "Corwin of Amber, I am what I am," and she
rose and left me then.
"What
was it?" asked Ganelon, ignoring her departure. "What was the thing
in the tower?"
"Mine," I said; "one of those things which was released
when I laid my curse upon Amber. I opened the way then for that which lies
beyond Shadow to enter the real world. The paths of least resistance are
followed in these things, through the shadows to Amber. Here, the path was the
Circle. Elsewhere, it might be some different thing. I have closed their way
through this place now. You may rest easy here."
"That
is why you came here?"
"No," I said. "Not really. I was but passing on the road
to Avalon when I came upon Lance. I could not let him lie there, and after I
took him to you I became involved in this piece of my handiwork."
"Avalon? Then you lied when you said it was
destroyed?"
I shook my
head.
"Not
so. Our Avalon fell, but in Shadow I may find its like once more."
"Take
me with you."
"Are
you mad?"
"No, I
would look once again on the land of my birth, no matter what the peril."
"I do
not go to dwell there," I said, "but to arm for battle. In Avalon
there is a pink powder the jewelers use. I ignited a sample of it one time in
Amber. I go there only to obtain it and to build guns that I may lay siege to
Amber and gain the throne that is mine."
"What.
of those things from beyond Shadow you spoke of."
"I
will deal with them afterwards. Should I lose this time, then they are Eric's
problem."
"You
said that he had blinded you and cast you into the dungeons."
"That
is true. I grew new eyes. I escaped."
"You
are a demon."
"This
has often been said. I no longer deny it."
"You
will take me with you?"
"If you really wish to come. It will differ from the
Avalon you knew, however."
"To Amber!"
"You
are mad!"
"No.
Long have I wished to look upon that fabled city.
After I have seen Avalon once again I will want to turn my hand to something
new. Was I not a good general?"
"Yes."
"Then
you will teach me of these things you call guns, and I will help you in the
greatest battle. I've not too many good years remaining before me, I know. Take
me with you."
"Your
bones may bleach at the foot of Kolvir, beside my own."
"What
battle is certain? I will chance it"
"As you would. You may come."
"Thank
you. Lord."
We camped
there that night, rode back to the keep in the morning. Then I sought after
I mounted
Star, turned my stiff neck in the direction they had supposedly taken, and rode
on after. In a way, I could not blame her. I had not been received back at the
keep as the slayer of the horned one might have been were he anyone else. The
stories of their Corwin lingered on, and the demon tag was on all of them. The
men I had worked with, fought beside, now looked at me
with glances holding something more than fear- glances only, for they quickly
dropped their eyes or turned them to another thing. Perhaps they feared that I
wished to stay and reign over them. They might have been relieved, all save
Ganelon, when I took to the trail. Ganelon, I think, feared that I would not
return for him as I had promised. This, I feel, is the reason that he offered
to ride with me. But it was a thing that I had to do by myself.
I rode
along the trail and the birds sang in the trees about me. The day was bright
with a sky-blue, treegreen peace, for the scourge had been lifted from the
land. In my heart, there was something like a bit of joy that I had undone at
least a small portion of the rottenness I had wrought. Evil?
Hell, I've done more of it than most men, but I had picked up a conscience too,
somewhere along the way, and I let it enjoy one of its rare moments of satisfaction.
Once I held Amber, I could allow it a little more leeway, I felt. Ha!
I was
heading north, and the terrain was foreign to me. I followed a clearly marked
trail, which bore the signs of two riders' recent passage. I followed all that
day, through dusk and into evening, dismounting periodically to inspect the
way. Finally, my eyes played too many tricks on me, so I located a small glen-
several hundred yards to the left of the trail-and there I camped for the
night. It was the pains in my neck, doubtless, that made me dream of the horned
one and relive that battle. "Help us now, and we will restore to you that
which is yours," it said. I awoke suddenly at that point, with a curse on
my lips.
When
morning paled the sky, I mounted and continued on. It had been a cold night,
and the day still held me in hands out of the north. The grasses sparkled with
a light frost and my cloak was damp from having been used as a bedroll.
By
When I
found her, I leaped down from my mount and ran to where she lay, beneath a wild
rosebush without flowers, the thorns of which had scratched her cheek and
shoulder. Dead, she had not been so for long, for the blood was still damp upon
her breast where the blade had entered, and her flesh yet warm.
There were
no rocks with which to build her a cairn, so I cut away the sod with
Grayswandir and laid her there to rest He had removed her bracelets, her rings,
and her jeweled combs, which had held all she possessed of fortune. I had to
close her eyes before I covered her over with my cloak, and here my hand
faltered and my own eyes grew dim. It took me a long while.
I rode on,
and it was not long before I overtook him, riding as though he were pursued by
the Devil, which he was. I spoke not a word when I unhorsed him, nor afterward,
and I did not use my blade, though he drew his own. I hurled his broken body
into a high oak tree, and when I looked back it was dark with birds.
I replaced
her rings, her bracelets, her combs, before I closed the grave, and that was
Turning, I
rode back to the Keep of Ganelon, who knew but would never understand.
Chapter 4
Riding,
riding, through the wild, weird ways that led to Avalon, we went, Ganelon and
I, down alleys of dream and of nightmare, beneath the brass bark of the sun and
the hot, white isles of night, till these were gold and diamond chips and the
moon swam like a swan. Day belled forth the green of spring,
we crossed a mighty river and the mountains before as were frosted by night. I
unleashed an arrow of my desire into the
We camped
in a wood near a lake as the sun slid bebind stone and the day died down and
ceased. I went off to the lake to bathe while Ganelon unpacked our gear. The
water was cold and bracing. I splashed about in it for a long while.
I thought I
heard several cries as I bathed, but I could not be certain. It was a weird
wood and I was not overly concerned. However, I dressed quickly and hurried
back to the camp.
As I
walked, I heard it again: a whine, a plea. Drawing nearer, I realized that a
conversation was in progress.
Then I
entered the small clearing we had chosen. Our gear was spread about and the
beginnings of a campfire had been laid.
Ganelon
squatted on his haunches beneath an oak tree. The man hung from it.
He was
young and fair of hair and complexion. Beyond that, it was hard to say at a
glance. It is difficult, I discovered, to obtain a clear initial impression as
to a man's features and size when he is hanging upside down several feet above
the ground.
His hands
had been tied behind bis back and he hung from a low bough by a rope that had
been knotted about his right ankle.
He was
talking-brief, rapid phrases in response to Ganelon's questions-and his face
was moist with spittle and sweat. He did not hang limply, but swung back and
forth. There was an abrasion on his cheek and several spots of blood on his
shirt front.
Halting, I
restrained myself from interrupting for a moment and watched. Ganelon would not
have put him where he was without a reason, so I was not immediately
overwhelmed with sympathy for the fellow. Whatever it was that had prompted
Ganelon to question him thus, I knew that I, too, would be interested in the
information. I was also interested in whatever the session would show me
concerning Ganelon, who was now something of an ally. And a few more minutes
upside down could not do that much additional damage . . .
As his body
slowed, Ganelon prodded him in the sternum with the tip of his blade and set
him to swinging violently once again. This broke the skin lightly and another
red spot appeared. At this, the boy cried out. From his complexion, I could see
now that he was a youth. Ganelon extended his blade and held its point several
inches beyond the place the boy's throat would come to on the backswing. At the
last moment, he snatched it back and chuckled as the boy writhed and cried out,
"Please!"
"The
rest," said Ganelon. "Tell me everything."
"That's all!" said the other. "I know no more!"
"Why not?"
"They
swept on by me then! I could not seel"
"Why
did you not follow?"
"They
were mounted. I was on foot."
"Why
did you not follow on foot then?"
"I was
dazed."
"Dazed? You were afraid! You deserted!"
"No!"
Ganelon
held his blade forth, snapped it away again at the final moment.
"No!" cried the youth.
Ganelon
moved the blade again.
"Yes!" the boy screamed. "I was afraid!"
"And
you fled then?"
"Yes!
I kept running! I've been fleeing ever since. . ."
"And
you know nothing of how things went after that?"
"No."
"You
lie!" He moved the blade again.
"No!" said the boy. "Please. . ."
I stepped
forward then. "Ganelon," I said.
He glanced
at me and grinned, lowering the blade. The boy sought my eyes.
"What
have we here?" I asked.
"Hal" he said, slapping the inside of the youth's thigh so
that he cried out. "A thief, a deserter-with an
interesting tale to tell."
"Then
cut him down and let me hear it," I said.
Ganelon
turned and cut through the cord with one swipe of his blade. The boy fell to
the ground and began sobbing.
"I
caught him trying to steal our supplies and thought to question him about the
area," Ganelon said. "He's come from Avalon-quickly."
"What
do you mean?"
"He
was a foot soldier in a battle that took place there two nights ago. He turned
coward during the fighting and deserted."
The youth
began to mouth a denial and Ganelon kicked him.
"Silence!" he said. "I'm telling it now-as you told
me!"
The boy
moved sideways like a crab and looked at me with wide, pleading eyes.
"
"It
sounds somewhat familiar," he said. "The forces of Avalon were
engaged in what seems to have been the largest-and perhaps final-of a long
series of confrontations with beings not quite natural."
"Oh?"
I studied
the boy and his eyes dropped, but I saw the fear that was there before they
fell.
". . .
Women," Ganelon said. "Pale furies out of some
hell, lovely and cold. Armed and armored. Long, light
hair. Eyes like ice. Mounted on white, firebreathing steeds that fed on
human flesh, they came forth by night from a warren of caves in the mountains
an earthquake opened several years ago. They raided, taking young men back with
them as captives, killing all others. Many appeared later as a soulless
infantry, following their van. This sounds very like the men of the Circle we
knew."
"But
many of those lived when they were freed," I said. "They did not seem
souless then, only somewhat as I once did-amnesiac. It seems strange," I
went on, "that they did not block off these caves during the day, since
the riders only came forth by night..."
"The
deserter tells me this was tried," said Ganelon, "and they always
burst forth after a time, stronger than before."
The boy was
ashen, but he nodded when I looked toward him inquiringly.
"Their
General, whom he calls the Protector, routed them many times," Ganelon
continued. "He even spent part of a night with their leader, a pale bitch
named Lintra-whether in dalliance or parlay, I'm not certain. But nothing came
of this. The raids continued and her forces grew stronger. The Protector
finally decided to mass an all-out attack, in hopes of destroying them utterly.
It was during that battle that this one fled," he said, indicating the
youth with a gesture of his blade, "which is why we do not know the ending
to the story."
"Is
that the way it was?" I asked him.
The boy
looked away from the weapon's point, met my eyes for a moment, then nodded slowly.
"Interesting," I said to Ganelon. "Very. I've a feeling
their problem is linked to the one we just solved. I wish I knew how their
fight turned out" Ganelon nodded, shifted bis grip on his weapon.
"Well, if we're finished with him now. . ." he said.
"Hold. I presume he was trying to steal
something to eat?"
"Yes."
"Free
his hands. Well feed him."
"But
he tried to steal from us."
"Did
you not say that you had once killed a man for a pair of shoes?"
"Yes,
but that was different"
"How so?"
"I got
away with it."
I laughed.
It broke me up completely, and I could not stop langhing. He looked irritated,
then puzzled. Then he began laughing himself.
The youth
regarded us as if we were a pair of maniacs.
"All
right," said Ganelon finally, "all right," and he stooped,
turned the boy with a single push, and severed the cord that bound his wrists.
"Come,
lad," he said. "I'll fetch you something to eat," and he moved
to our gear and opened several food parcels.
The boy
rose and limped slowly after him. He seized the food that was offered and began
eating quickly and noisily, not taking his eyes off Ganelon. His information,
if true, presented me with several complications, the foremost being that it
would probably be more difficult to obtain what I wanted in a war-ravaged land.
It also lent weight to my fears as to the nature and extent of the disruption
pattern.
I helped
Ganelon build a small fire.
"How
does this affect our plans?" he asked.
I saw no
real choice. All of the shadows near to what I desired would be similarly
involved. I could lay my course for one which did not possess such involvement,
but in reaching it I would have achieved the wrong place. That which I desired
would not be available there. If the forays of chaos kept occurring on my
desire-walk through Shadow, then they were bound up with the nature of the
desire and would have to be dealt with, one way or another, sooner or later.
They could not be avoided. Such was the nature of the game, and I could not
complain because I had laid down the rules.
"We go
on," I said. "It is the place of my desire."
The youth
let out a brief cry, and then-perhaps from some
feeling of indebtedness for my having prevented Ganelon from poking holes in
him-warned, "Do not go to Avalon, sirl There is nothing there that you
could desire! You will be slain!"
I smiled to
him and thanked him. Ganelon chuckled then and said, "Let us take him back
with us to stand a deserter's trial."
At this,
the youth scrambled to his feet and began running.
Still
laughing, Ganelon drew his dagger and cocked his arm to throw it. I struck his
arm and his cast went wide of its mark. The youth vanished within the wood and
Ganelon continued to laugh.
He
retrieved the dagger from where it had fallen and said, "You should have
let me kill him, you know."
"I
decided against it." He shrugged.
"If he
returns and cuts our throats tonight you may find yourself feeling somewhat
different."
"I
should imagine. But he will not, you know that."
He shrugged
again, skewering a piece of meat and warming it over the flames.
"Well,
war has taught him to show a good pair of heels," he acknowledged.
"Perhaps we will awaken in the morning."
He took a
bite and began to chew. It seemed like a good idea and I fetched some for
myself.
Much later,
I was awakened from a troubled sleep to stare at stars through a screen of
leaves. Some omen making portion of my mind had seized upon the youth and used
us both badly. It was a long while before I could get back to sleep.
In the
morning we kicked dirt over the ashes and rode on. We made it into the
mountains that afternoon and passed through them the following day. There were
occasional signs of recent passage on the trail we followed, but we encountered
no one.
The
following day we passed several farmhouses and cottages, not pausing at any of
them. I had opted against the wild, demonic route I had followed when I had
exiled Ganelon. While quite brief, I knew that he would have found it massively
disconcerting. I had wanted this time to think, so
much a journeying was not called for. Now, however, the long rente was nearing
its end. We achieved Amber's sky that afternoon, and I admired it in silence.
It might almost be the
The breezes
of the afternoon were gentle and cool; they lulled me so that I was unprepared
for the row of fresh graves beside the trail that came into sight when we
rounded a bend. Near by, there was a torn and trampled glen. We tarried there
briefly but learned nothing more than had been immediately apparent.
We passed
another such place farther along, and several fire-charred groves. The trail
was well worn by then and the side brush trampled and broken, as by the passage
of many men and beasts. The smell of ashes was occasionally upon the air, and
we hurried past the partly eaten carcass of a horse now well ripened where it
lay.
The sky of
Amber no longer heartened me, though the way was clear for a long while after
that.
The day was
running to evening and the forest had thinned considerably when Ganelon noted
the smoke trails to the southeast. We took the first side path that seemed to
lead in that direction, although it was tangent to Avalon proper. It was
difficult to estimate the distance, but we could tell that we would not reach
the place until after nightfall.
"Their
army-still encamped?" Ganelon wondered.
"Or
that of their conqueror."
He shook
his bead and loosened his blade in its scabbard.
Toward
twilight, I left the trail to follow a sound of running water to its source. It
was a clear, clean stream that had made its way down from the mountains and
still bore something of their chill within it. I bathed there, trimming my new
bearding and cleaning the dust of travel from my garments as well. As we were
nearing this end of our journeying, it was my wish to arrive with what small
splendor I could muster. Appreciating this, Ganelon even splashed water over
his face and blew his nose loudly.
Standing on
the bank, blinking my rinsed eyes at the heavens, I saw the moon resolve itself
sharp and clear, the fuzziness fading from its edges. This was the first time
it had happened. My breathing jerked to a halt and I kept staring. Then I
scanned the sky for early stars, traced the edges of clouds, the distant
mountains, the farthest trees. I looked back at the moon, and it still held
clear and steady. My eyesight was normal once again.
Ganelon
drew back at the sound of my laughter, and he never inquired as to its cause.
Suppressing
an impulse to sing, I remounted and headed back toward the trail once again.
The shadows deepened as we rode, and clusters of stars bloomed among the
branches overhead. I inhaled a big piece of the night, held it a moment, released it. I was myself once again and the feeling was
good.
Ganelon
drew up beside me and said in a low voice, "There will doubtless be
sentries."
"Yes," I said.
"Then
hadn't we better leave the trail?"
"No. I
would rather not seem furtive. It matters not to me whether we arrive with an
escort. We are simply two travelers."
"They
may require the reason for our travels."
"Then
let us be mercenaries who have heard of strife in the realm and come seeking
employment"
"Yes.
We look the part. Let us hope they pause long enough to notice."
"If
they cannot see us that well, then we are poor targets."
"True,
but I am not fully comforted by the thought."
I listened
to the sounds of the horses' hoofs on the trail. The way was not straight. It twisted, curved, and wandered for a time,
then took an upward turn. As we mounted the rise it followed, the trees thinned
even more.
We came to
the top of a hill then, and into a fairly open area. Advancing, we achieved a
sudden view that covered several miles. We drew rein at an abrupt drop that
curved its way into a gradual slope after ten or fifteen precipitous meters,
sweeping downward to a large plain perhaps a mile distant, then
continuing on through a hilly, sporadically wooded area. The plain was dotted
with campfires and there were a few tents toward the center of things. A large
number of horses grazed near by, and I guessed there were several hundred men
sitting beside the fires or moving about the compound. Ganelon sighed.
"At
least they seem to be normal men," he said.
"Yes."
". . .
And if they are normal military men, we are probably being watched right now.
This is too good a vantage to leave unposted."
"Yes."
There came
a noise from behind us. We began to turn, just as a near by voice said,
"Don't move!" I continued to turn my head, and I saw four men. Two of
them held crossbows trained on us and the other two had blades in their hands.
One of these advanced two paces.
"Dismount!" he ordered. "On this side!
Slowly!" We climbed down from our mounts and
faced him, keeping our hands away from our weapons. "Who are you? Where
are you from?" he asked.
"We
are mercenaries," I replied, "from
". . .
And if I said no, that we are a patrol for a force about to invade that
camp?"
I shrugged.
"In that case, is your side interested in hiring a couple of men?"
He spat.
"The Protector has no need for your sort," he said. Then, "From
what direction do you ride?"
"East," I said.
"Did
you meet with any difficulty recently?"
"No," I said. "Should we have?"
"Hard
to say," he decided. "Remove your weapons. I'm going to send you down
to the camp. They will want to question you about anything you may have seen in
the east-anything unusual."
"We've
seen nothing unusual," I said.
"Whatever, they will probably feed you. Though I doubt you will be
hired. You have come a bit late for the fighting. Remove your weapons now."
He called
two more men from within the trees while we unbuckled our sword belts. He
instructed them to escort us below, on foot. We were to lead our horses. The
men took our weapons, and as we turned to go our interrogator cried out,
"Wait!" I turned back toward him.
"You. What is your name?" he asked me.
"Corey"l said.
"Stand
still."
He
approached, drawing very near. He stared at me for perhaps ten seconds.
"What
is the matter?" I asked.
Instead of
replying, he fumbled with a pouch at his belt. He withdrew a handful of coins
and held them close to his eyes.
"Damn!
It's too dark," he said, "and we can't make a light."
"For what?" I said.
"Oh,
it is not of any great importance," he told me. "You struck me as familiar,
though, and I was trying to think why. You look like the head stamped on some
of our old coins. A few of them are still about.
"Doesn't he?" he addressed the nearest bowman.
The man
lowered his crossbow and advanced. He squinted at me from a few paces'
distance.
"Yes," he said then, "he does."
"What
was it-the one we're thinking of?"
"One of those old men. Before my
time. I don't remember."
"Me
neither. Well . . ." He shrugged. "No importance. Go ahead, Corey.
Answer their questions honestly and you'll not be harmed."
I turned
away and left him there in the moonlight, gazing after me and scratching the
top of his head.
The men who
guarded us were not the talkative sort. Which was just as
well.
All the way
down the hill I wondered about the boy's story and the resolution of the
conflict he had described, for I had achieved the physical analogue of the
world of my desire and would now have to operate within the prevailing
situations.
The camp
had the pleasant smell of man and beast, wood smoke, roasting meat, leather and
oil, all intermingled in the firelight where men talked, honed weapons,
repaired gear, ate, gamed, slept, drank, and watched us as we led our mounts
through their midst, escorted in the direction of a nearly central trio of
tattered tents. A sphere of silence expanded about us as we went.
We were
halted before the second-largest tent and one of our guards spoke with a man
who was pacing the area. The man shook his head several times and gestured in
the direction of the largest tent. The exchange lasted for several minutes, then our guard returned and spoke with the other guard who
waited at our left. Finally, our man nodded and approached me while the other
summoned a man from the nearest campfire.
"The
officers are all at a meeting in the Protector's tent," he said. "We
are going to hobble your horses and put them to graze. Unstrap your things and
set them here. You will have to wait to see the captain." I nodded, and we
set about unstowing our belongings and rubbing the horses down. I patted Star
on the neck and watched a small man with a limp lead him and Ganelon's
I watched
the big tent, sipped my tea, and thought of Amber and a small night club in the
Rue de Char et Pain in
After what
was probably an hour and a half, the shadows stirred within the large tent. It was several minutes after that before the entrance
flap was thrown aside and men began to emerge, slowly, talking among
themselves, glancing back within. The last two tarried at the threshold, still
talking with someone who remained inside. The rest of them passed into the
other tents.
The two at
the entrance edged their way outside, still facing the interior. I could hear
the sounds of their voices, although I could not make out what was being said.
As they drifted farther outside, the man with whom they were speaking moved
also and I caught a glimpse of him. The light was at his back and the two
officers blocked most of my view, but I could see that he was thin and very
tall.
Our guards
had not yet stirred, indicating to me that one of the two officers was the captain
mentioned earlier. I continued to stare, willing them to move farther and grant
me a better look at their superior.
After a
time they did, and a few moments later he took a step forward.
At first, I
could not tell whether it was just a play of light and shadow . . . But no! He
moved again and I had a clear view for a moment. He was missing his right arm,
from a point just below the elbow. It was so heavily bandaged that I guessed
the loss to have been quite recent.
Then his
large left hand made a downward, sweeping gesture and hovered a good distance
out from his body. The stump twitched at the same moment, and so did something
at the back of my mind. His hair was long and straight and brown, and I saw the
way that his jaw jutted. . .
He stepped
outside then, and a breeze caught the cloak he wore and caused it to flare to
his right. I saw that his shirt was yellow, his trousers brown. The cloak
itself was a flame-like orange, and he caught its edge with an unnaturally
rapid movement of his left hand and drew it back to cover his stump.
I stood
quickly, and his head snapped in my direction.
Our gazes
met, and neither of us moved for several heartbeats after that.
The two
officers turned and stared, and then he pushed them aside and was striding
toward me. I heard Ganelon grunt and climb quickly to his feet. Our guards were
taken by surprise, also.
He halted
several paces before me and his hazel eyes swept over me. He seldom smiled, but
he managed a faint one this time.
"Come
with me," he said, and he turned back toward his tent.
We followed
him, leaving our gear where it lay.
He
dismissed the two officers with a glance, halted beside the tent's entrance and
motioned us in. He followed and let the flap fall behind him. My eyes took in
his bedroll, a small table, benches, weapons, a
campaign chest. There was an oil lamp on the table, as well as books, maps, a
bottle, and some cups. Another lamp flickered atop the chest.
He clasped
my hand and smiled again. "Corwin," he said, "and still
alive."
"Benedict," I said, smiling myself, "and breathing yet.
It has been devilish long."
"Indeed. Who is your friend?" "His name is Ganelon."
"Ganelon," he said, nodding toward him but not offering to
clasp hands.
He moved to
the table then and poured three cups of wine. He passed one to me, another to
Ganelon, raised the third himself.
"To
your health, brother," he said.
"To yours." We drank.
Then,
"Be seated," he said, gesturing toward the nearest bench and seating
himself at the table, "and welcome to Avalon."
"Thank you-Protector." He grimaced.
"The
sobriquet is not unearned," he said flatly, continuing to study my face.
"I wonder whether their earlier protector could say the same?"
"It
was not really this place," I said, "and I believe that he
could." He shrugged.
"Of
course," he said. "Enough of that! Where
have you been? What have you been doing? Why have you come here? Tell me of
yourself. It has been too long."
I nodded.
It was unfortunate, but family etiquette as well as the balance of power
required that I answer his questions before asking any of my own. He was my
elder, and I had-albeit unknowing-intruded in his sphere of influence. It was
not that I begrudged him the courtesy. He was one of the few among my many
relatives whom I respected and even liked. It was that I was itching to
question him. It had been, as he had said, too long.
And how
much should I tell him now? I had no notion where his sympathies might lie. I
did not desire to discover the reasons for his self-imposed exile from Amber by
mentioning the wrong things. I would have to begin with something fairly
neutral and sound him out as I went along.
"There
must be a beginning," he said then. "I care not what face you put
upon it."
"There
are many beginnings," I said. "It is difficult . . . I suppose I
should go all the way back and take it from there." I took another sip of
the wine.
"Yes,"l
decided. "That seems simplest-though it was only comparatively recently
that I recalled much of what bad occurred.
"It
was several years after the defeat of the Moonriders out of Ghenesh and your
departure that Eric and I had a major falling out," I began. "Yes, it
was a quarrel over the succession. Dad had been making abdication noises again,
and he still refused to name a successor. Naturally, the old arguments were
resumed as to who was more legitimate. Of course, you and Eric are both my elders,
but while Faiella, mother to Eric and myself, was his wife after the death of
Clymnea, they-"
"Enough!" cried Benedict, slapping the table so hard that it
cracked.
The lamp
danced and sputtered, but by some small miracle was not upset. The tent's
entrance flap was immediately pushed aside and a concerned guard peered in.
Benedict glanced at him and he withdrew.
"I do
not wish to sit in on our respective bastardy proceeding," Benedict said
softly. "That obscene pasttime was one of the reasons I initially absented
myself from felicity. Please continue your story without the benefit of
footnotes."
"Well-yes," I said, coughing lightly. "As I was saying,
we had some rather bitter arguments concerning the whole matter. Then one
evening it went beyond mere words. We fought."
"A duel?"
"Nothing that formal. A simultaneous decision to murder
one another is more like it. At any rate, we fought for a long while and Eric
finally got the upper hand and proceeded to pulverize me. At the risk of
getting ahead of my story, I have to add that all of this was only recalled to
me about five years ago." Benedict nodded, as though he understood.
"I can
only conjecture as to what occurred immediately after I lost
consciousness," I went on. "But Eric stopped short of killing me
himself. When I awakened, I was on a shadow Earth in a place called
"The
years passed, but this anger and this longing did not. It took an accident that
fractured my skull to set off the changes that led to the return of my first
recollections. This was approximately five years ago, and the irony of it is
that I have good reason to believe Eric was responsible for the accident. Flora
had apparently been resident on that shadow Earth all along, keeping watch over
me.
"To
return to conjectnre, Eric must have stayed his hand at the last moment,
desiring my death, but not wanting it traceable to him. So he transported me
through Shadow to a place of sudden, almost certain death-doubtless to return
and say that we had argued and I had ridden off in a huff, muttering something
about going away again. We had been hunting in the
"I
find it strange," Benedict interrupted, "that two rivals such as yourselves should elect to hunt together under such
circumstances."
I took a
sip of wine and smiled.
"Perhaps it was a trifle more contrived than I made it sound,"
I said. "Perhaps we both welcomed the opportunity to hunt together. Just the two of us."
"I
see," he said. "So it is possible that your situations could have
been reversed?"
"Well," I said, "that is difficult to say. I do not
believe I would have gone that far. I am talking as of now, of course. People
do change, you know. Back then . . . ? Yes, I might have done the same thing to
him. I cannot say for certain, but it is possible." He nodded again, and I
felt a flash of anger which passed quickly into amusement.
"Fortunately, I am not out to justify my own motives for
anything," I continued. "To go on with my guesswork, I believe that
Eric kept tabs on me after that, doubtless
disappointed at first that I had survived, but satisfied as to my harmlessness.
So he arranged to have Flora keep an eye on me, and the world turned peacefully
for a long while. Then, presumably, Dad abdicated and disappeared without the
question of the succession having been settled-"
"The
hell he did!" said Benedict. "There was no abdication. He just
vanished. One morning he simply was not in his chambers. His bed had not even
been slept in. There were no messages. He had been seen entering the suite the
evening before, but no one saw him depart. And even this was not considered
strange for a long while. At first it was simply thought that he was sojouming
in Shadow once again, perhaps to seek another bride. It was a long while before
anyone dared suspect foul play or chose to construe this as a novel form of abdication."
"I was
not aware of this," I said. "Your sources of information seem to have
been closer to the heart of things than mine were."
He only
nodded, giving rise to uneasy speculations on my part as to his contact in
Amber. For all I knew, he could be pro-Eric these days.
"When
was the last time you were back there yourself?" I ventured.
"A
little over twenty years ago," he replied, "but I keep in
touch."
Not with
anyone who had cared to mention it to me! He must have known that as he said
it, so did he mean me to take it as a caution-or a threat? My mind raced. Of
course he possessed a set of the Major Trumps. I fanned them mentally and went
through them like mad. Random had professed ignorance as to his whereabouts.
Brand had been missing a long while. I had had indication that he was still
alive, imprisoned in some unpleasant place or other and in no position to
report on the happenings in Amber. Flora could not have been his contact, as
she had been in virtual exile in Shadow herself until recently. Llewella was in
Rebrna. Deirdre was in Rebrna also, and had been out of favor in Amber when
last I saw her. Fiona? Julian had told me she was "somewhere to the
south." He was uncertain as to precisely where. Who did that leave?
Eric himself, Julian, Gerard, or Caine, as I saw it. Scratch
Eric. He would not have passed along the details of Dad's non-abdication in a
manner that would allow things to be taken as Benedict had taken them. Julian
supported Eric, but was not without personal ambitions of the highest order. He
would pass along information if it might benefit him to do so. Ditto for Caine.
Gerard, on the other hand, had always struck me as more interested in the
welfare of Amber itself than in the question of who sat on its throne. He was
not over-fond of Eric, though, and had once been willing to support either
Bleys or myself over him. I believed he would have considered Benedict's
awareness of events to be something in the nature of an insurance policy for
the realm. Yes, it was almost certainly one of these three. Julian hated me.
Caine neither liked nor disliked me especially, and Gerard and I shared fond
memories that went all the way back to my childhood. I would have to find out
who it was, quickly-and he was not yet ready to tell me, of course, knowing
nothing of my present motives. A liaison with Amber could be used to hurt me or
benefit me in short order, depending upon his desire and the person on the
other end. It was therefore both sword and shield to him, and I was somewhat
hurt that he had chosen to display these accoutrements so quickly. I chose to
take it that his recent injury had served to make him abnormally wary, for I
had certainly never given him cause for distress. Still, this caused me to feel
abnormally wary also, a sad thing to know when meeting one's brother again for
the first time in many years.
"It is
interesting," I said, swirling the wine within my cup. "In this light,
then, it appears that everyone may have acted prematurely."
"Not
everyone," he said.
I felt my
face redden.
"Your,
pardon," I said.
He nodded
curtly.
"Please continue your telling."
"Well,
to continue my chain of assumptions," I said, "when Eric decided that
the throne had been vacant long enough and the time had come to make his move,
he must also have decided that my amnesia was not sufficient and that it would
be better to see my claim quitted entirely. At this time, he arranged for me to
have an accident off on that shadow Earth, an accident which should have proven
fatal but did not."
"How
do you know this? How much of it is guesswork?"
"Flora
as much as admitted it to me-including her own complicity in the thing-when I
questioned her later."
"Very interesting. Go on."
"The
bash on my head provided what even Sigmund Freud had been unable to obtain for
me earlier," I said. "There returned to me small recollections that
grew stronger and stronger-especially after I encountered Flora and was exposed
to all manner of things that stimulated my memory. I was able to convince her
that it had fully returned, so her speech was open as to people and things.
Then Random showed up, fleeing from something-"
"Fleeing? From what? Why?"
"From some strange creatures out of Shadow. I never
found out why."
"Interesting," he said, and I had to agree. I had thought of
it often, back in my cell, wondering just why Random had entered, stage left,
pursued by Furies, in the first place. From the moment we met until the moment
we parted, we had been in some sort of peril; I had been preoccupied with my
own troubles and he had volunteered nothing concerning his abrupt appearance.
It had crossed my mind, of course, at the time of his arrival, but I was
uncertain as to whether it was something of which I might be expected to have
knowledge, and I let it go at that. Events then submerged it until later in my
cell and again the present moment. Interesting? Indeed. Also,
troubling.
"I
managed to take in Random as to my condition," I continued. "He
believed I was seeking the throne, when all that I was consciously seeking was
my memory. He agreed to help me return to Amber, and he succeeded in getting me
back. Well, almost," I corrected. "We wound up in Rebma. By then, I
had told Random my true condition, and he proposed my walking the Pattern again
as a means of restoring it fully. The opportunity was there, and I took it. It
proved effective, and I used the power of the Pattern to transport myself into
Amber." He smiled.
"At this point. Random must have been a very unhappy
man," he said.
"He
was not exactly singing with glee," I said. "He had accepted Moire's
judgment, that he wed a woman of her choosing-a blind girl named Vialle-and
remain there with her for at least a year. I left him behind, and I later
learned that he had done this thing. Deirdre was also there. We had encountered
her along the way, in flight from Amber, and the three of us had entered Rebma
together. She remained behind, also."
I finished
my wine and Benedict nodded toward the bottle. It was almost empty, though, so
he fetched a fresh bottle from his chest and we filled our cups. I took a long
swallow. It was better wine than the previous. Must have been
his private stock.
"In
the palace," I went on, "I made my way to the library, where I
obtained a pack of the Tarots. This was my main reason for venturing there. I
was surprised by Eric before I could do much else and we fought, there in the
library. I succeeded in wounding him and believe I could have finished him,
save that reinforcements arrived and I was forced to flee. I contacted Bleys
then, who gave me passage to him in Shadow. You may have heard the rest from
your own sources. How Bleys and I threw in together, assaulted Amber, lost. He fell from the face of Kolvir. I tossed him
my Tarots and be caught them. I understand that his body was never found. But
it was a long way down -though I believe the tide was high by then. I do not
know whether he died that day or not."
"Neither do I," said Benedict.
"So I
was imprisoned and Eric was crowned. I was prevailed upon to assist in the
coronation, despite a small demurrer on my part. I did succeed in crowning
myself before that bastard-genealogically speaking -had it back and placed it
on his own head. Then he had me blinded and sent to
the dungeons."
He leaned
forward and studied my face. "Yes," he said, "I had heard that.
How was it done?"
"Hot
irons," I said, wincing involuntarily and repressing an impulse to clutch
at my eyes. "I passed out partway through the ordeal."
"Was
there actual contact with the eyeballs?"
"Yes"l said. "I think so."
"And
how long did the regeneration take?"
"It
was close to four years before I could see again," I said, "and my
vision is just getting back to normal now. So-about five years altogether, I
would say."
He leaned
back, sighed, and smiled faintly.
"Good," he said. "You give me some small hope. Others of
us have lost portions of their anatomy and experienced regeneration also, of
course, but I never lost anything significant-until now."
"Oh
yes," I said. "It is a most impressive record. I reviewed it
regularly for years. A collection of bits and pieces, many of them forgotten I
daresay, but by the principals and myself: fingertips, toes, ear lobes. I would
say that there is hope for your arm. Not for a long while, of course.
"It is
a good thing that you are ambidextrous," I added.
His smile
went on and off and he took a drink of wine. No, he was not ready to tell me
what had happened to him.
I took
another sip of my own. I did not want to tell him about Dworkin. I had wanted
to save Dworkin as something of an ace in the hole. None of us understood the
man's full power, and he was obviously mad. But he could be manipulated. Even
Dad had apparently come to fear him after a time, and had had him locked away.
What was it that he had told me back in my cell? That Dad had had him confined
after he had announced his discovery of a means for destroying all of Amber. If
this was not just the rambling of a psychotic and was the real reason for his
being where he was, then Dad had been far more generous that I would have been.
The man was too dangerous to let live. On the other hand, though. Dad had been
trying to cure him of his condition. Dworkin had spoken of doctors, men he had
frightened away or destroyed when he had turned his powers against them. Most
of my memories of him were of a wise, kindly old man, quite devoted to Dad and
the rest of the family. It would be difficult readily to destroy someone like
that if there was some hope. He had been confined to what should have been
inescapable quarters. Yet when he had grown bored one day, he had simply walked
out. No man can walk through Shadow in Amber, the very absence of Shadow, so he
had done something I did not understand, something involving the principle
behind the Trumps, and had left his quarters. Before he returned to them, I
managed to persuade him to provide me with a similar exit from my own cell, one
that transported me to the lighthouse of Cabra, where I recovered somewhat,
then set out upon the voyage that took me to
Even, I
asked myself, if the power he represented was the power to destroy Amber
itself, and with it to shatter the shadow worlds and capsize all of existence
as I understood it?
Especially
then, I answered myself. For who else could be trusted with such power? We are
indeed a very pragmatic family.
More wine,
and then I fumbled with my pipe, cleaning it, repacking it.
"That,
basically, is my story to date," I said, regarding my handiwork, rising
and taking a light from the lamp. "After I recovered my sight, I managed
to escape, fled Amber, tarried for a time in a place called
"Why?" I reseated myself and looked at him again.
"Because it is near to the Avalon I once knew," I said.
I had purposely
refrained from mentioning any earlier acquaintanceship with Ganelon, and hoped
that he would take a cue from it. This shadow was near enough to our Avalon so
that Ganelon should be familiar with its topography and most of its customs.
For whatever it was worth, it seemed politic to keep this information from
Benedict.
He passed
over it as I thought he might, buried there where it was beside
more interesting digging.
"And
of your escape?" he asked. "How did you manage that?"
"I had
help, of course," I admitted, "in getting
out of the cell. Once out- Well, there are still a few passages of which Eric
is unaware."
"I
see," he said, nodding-hoping, naturally, that I
would go on to mention my partisans' names, but knowing better than to ask.
I puffed my
pipe and leaned back, smiling.
"It is
good to have friends," he said, as if in agreement with some unvoiced
thought I might be entertaining.
"I
guess that we all have a few of them in Amber."
"I
like to think so," he said. Then, "I understand you left the partly
whittled cell door locked behind you, had set fire to your bedding, and had
drawn pictures on the wall."
"Yes," I said. "Prolonged confinement does something to a
man's mind. At least, it did to mine. There are long periods during which I
know I was irrational."
"I do
not envy you the experience, brother," he said. "Not
at all. What are your plans now?"
"They
are still uncertain."
"Do
you feel that you might wish to remain here?"
"I do
not know," I said. "What is the state of affairs here?"
"I am
in charge," he said-a simple statement of fact, not a boast. "I
believe I have just succeeded in destroying the only major threat to the realm.
If I am correct, then a reasonably tranquil period should be at hand. The price
was high"-he glanced at what remained of his arm-"but will have been
worth it-as shall be seen before very long, when things have returned to
normal."
He then
proceeded to relate what was basically the same situation the youth had
described, going on to tell how they had won the battle. The leader of the
hellmaids slain, her riders had bolted and fled. Most of them were also slain
then, and the caverns had been sealed once more. Benedict had decided to
maintain a small force in the field for mopping-up purposes, his scouts the
while combing the area for survivors.
He made no
mention of the meeting between himself and their leader, Lintra.
"Who
slew their leader?" I asked him.
"I
managed it," he said, making a sudden movement with his stump,
"though I hesitated a moment too long on my first blow."
I glanced
away and so did Ganelon. When I looked back, his face had returned to normal
and he had lowered his arm.
"We
looked for you. Did you know that,- Corwin?" he
asked. "Brand searched for you in many shadows, as did Gerard. You guessed
correctly as to what Eric said after your disappearance that day. We were
inclined to look farther than his word, however. We tried your Trump
repeatedly, but there was no response. It must be that brain damage can block
it. That is interesting. Your failure to respond to the Trump led us to believe
you had died. Then Julian, Caine, and Random joined the search."
"All that? Really? I am
astonished."
He smiled.
"Oh," I said then, and smiled myself.
Their
joining the hunt at that point meant that it was not my welfare that concerned
them, but the possibility of obtaining evidence of fratricide against Eric, so
as to displace him or blackmail him.
"I
sought for you in the vicinity of Avalon," he continued, "and I found
this place and was taken by it. It was in a pitiful condition in those days,
and for generations I worked to restore it to its former glory. While I began
this in memory of you, I developed a fondness for this land and its people.
They came to consider me their protector, and so did I."
I was
troubled as well as touched by this. Was he implying that I had fouled things up
terribly and that he had tarried here to put them in order-so as to clean up
after his kid brother this one last time? Or did he mean that he realized I had
loved this place- or a place very much like it-and that he had worked to set it
in good order as something I might have wished done? Perhaps I was becoming
oversensitive.
"It is
good to know that I was sought," I said, "and it is very good to know
that you are the defender of this land. I would like to see this place, for it
does remind me of the Avalon that I knew. Would you have any objections to my
visiting here?"
"That
is all that you wish to do? Visit?"
"That
is all that I had in mind."
"Know
then that what is remembered of the shadow of yourself
that once reigned here is not good. Children are not named Corwin in this
place, nor am I brother to any Corwin here."
"I
understand," I said. "My name is Corey. Can we be old friends?"
He nodded.
"Old
friends of mine are always welcome to visit here," he said.
I smiled
and nodded. I felt insulted that he would entertain the notion that I had
designs upon this shadow of a shadow: I, who had-albeit but for an instant
-felt the cold fire of Amber's crown upon my brow.
I wondered
what his attitude would have been had he known of my responsibility, when it
came down to basics, for the raids. For that matter, I suppose, I was also
responsible for the loss of his arm. I preferred to push things one step
farther back, however, and hold Eric responsible. After all, it was his action that
had prompted my curse.
Still, I
hoped that Benedict would never find out I wanted very badly to know where he
stood with respect to Eric. Would he support him, throw his weight behind me,
or just stay out of the way when I made my move? Conversely, I was certain that
he wondered whether my ambitions were dead or still smoldering- and if the
latter, what my plans were for stoking them. So. . .
Who was
going to raise the matter?
I took
several good puffs on my pipe, finished my wine, poured some more, puffed
again. I listened to the sounds of the camp, the wind,
my stomach . . . Benedict took a sip of wine.
Then,
"What are your long-range plans?" he asked me, almost casually.
I could say
that I had not made up my mind yet, that I was simply happy to be free, alive,
seeing. . . . I could tell him that that was enough for me, for now, that I had
no special plans. . . .
. . . And
he would know that I lied in my teeth. For he knew me better
than that.
So,
"You know what my plans are," I said.
"If
you were to ask for my support," he said, "I would deny it. Amber is
in bad enough shape without another power grab."
"Eric
is a usurper."
"I
choose to look upon him as regent only. At this time, any of us who claims the
throne is guilty of usurpation."
"Then
you believe Dad still lives?"
"Yes. Alive and distressed. He has made several attempts to
communicate."
I succeeded
in keeping my face from showing anything. So I was not the only one, then. To
reveal my experiences at this point would sound hypocritical, opportunistic, or
a flat lie-since in our seeming contact of five years ago he had given me the
go-ahead to take the throne. Of course, he could have been referring to a regency then. . . .
"You
did not lend support to Eric when he took the throne," I said. "Would
you give it to him now that he holds it, if an attempt were made to unseat
him?"
"It is
as I said," he told me. "I look upon him as regent. I do not say that
I approve of this, but I desire no further strife in Amber."
"Then
you would support him?"
"I
have said all that I have to say on the matter. You are welcome to visit my
Avalon, but not to use it as a staging area for an invasion of Amber. Does that
clarify matters with respect to anything you may have in mind?"
"It
clarifies matters," I said.
"This
being the case, do you still wish to visit here?"
"I do
not know," I said. "Does your desire to avoid strife in Amber work
both ways?"
"What
do you mean?"
"I
mean that if I were returned to Amber against my will, I would damn well create
as much strife as I could to prevent a recurrence of my previous
situation."
The lines
went out of his face and he slowly lowered his eyes.
"I did
not mean to imply that I would betray you. Do you think that I am without
feelings, Corwin? I would not see you imprisoned again, blinded-or worse. You
are always welcome to visit here, and you may leave your fears along with your
ambitions at the border."
"Then
I would still like to visit," I said. "I have no army, nor did I come
here to recruit one."
"Then
you know that you are most welcome."
"Thank
you, Benedict. While I did not expect to find you here, I am glad that I
did." He reddened faintly and nodded.
"It
pleases me, also," he said. "Am I the first of us you have seen-since
your escape?" I nodded.
"Yes,
and I am curious as to how everyone is faring. Any major reports?"
"No
new deaths," he said.
We both
chuckled, and I knew that I would have to turn up the family gossip on my own.
It had been worth the attempt, though.
"I am
planning on remaining in the field for a time," he said, "and
continuing my patrols until I am satisfied that none of the invaders remain. It
could be another week before we withdraw."
"Oh?
Then it was not a total victory?"
"I
believe that it was, but I never take unnecessary chances. It is worth a little
more time to be certain."
"Prudent," I said, nodding.
". . .
So unless you have a strong desire to remain here in camp, I see no reason why
you should not proceed on toward town and get near the center of things. I
maintain several residences about Avalon. I have in mind for your use a small
manor house that I have found pleasant. It is not far from town."
"I
look forward to seeing it."
"I
will provide you with a map and a letter to my steward in the morning."
"Thank
you, Benedict."
"I
will join you there as soon as I have finished here," he said, "and
in the meantime, I have messengers passing that way daily. I will keep in touch
with you through them."
"Very good."
"Then
find yourselves a comfortable piece of ground," he said. "You'll not
miss the breakfast call, I'm sure."
"I
seldom do," I said. "Is it all right if we sleep at that spot where
we left our gear?"
"Certainly," he said, and we finished the wine.
As we left
his tent, I seized the flap up high when I opened it and was able to squeeze it
several inches to the side when I cast it before me. Benedict bade us good
night and turned away as he let it fall, not noticing the gap of several inches
that I had created along its one side.
I made my
bed up a good distance to the right of our equipment, facing in the direction
of Benedict's tent, and I moved the gear itself as I rummaged through it.
Ganelon shot me a quizzical look, but I simply nodded and made a movement with
my eyes toward the tent. He glanced that way, returned the nod, and proceeded to spread his own blankets farther to the right
I measured
it with my eyes, walked over, and said, "You know, I'd much rather sleep
here. Would you mind switching with me?" I added a wink for emphasis.
"Makes no difference to me," be
said, shrugging.
The
campfires had died or were dying, and most of the company had turned in. The guard only paid us heed a couple of times around. The camp
was very quiet and there were no clouds to obscure the brilliance of the stars.
I was tired, and the smells of the smoke and the damp earth came pleasantly to
my nostrils, reminding me of other times and places such as this and the rest
at the day's end.
Instead of
closing my eyes, however, I fetched my pack and propped my back against it,
filled my pipe again, and struck it to life.
I adjusted
my position twice as he paced within the tent. Once, he vanished from my field
of vision and remained hidden for several moments. But the far light moved
then, and I knew that he had opened the chest. Then he came into sight once
more and cleared the table, dropped back for an instant, returned and reseated
himself in his earlier position. I moved so that I could keep sight of his left
arm.
He was
paging through a book, or sorting something of about that size. Cards, maybe? Naturally.
I would
have given a lot for one glimpse of the Trump that he finally settled upon and
held before him. I would have given a lot to have Grayswandir beneath my hand,
in case another person suddenly came into the tent by means other than the
entrance through which I spied. My palms and the soles of my feet tingled, in
anticipation of flight or combat.
But he
remained alone.
He sat
there unmoving for perhaps a quarter of an hour, and when he finally stirred it
was only to replace the cards somewhere in his chest and to extinguish the
lamps.
The guard
continued on his monotonous rounds and Ganelon began to snore.
I emptied
my pipe and rolled over onto my side.
Tomorrow, I
told myself. If I wake up here tomorrow, everything will be all right . . .
Chapter 5
I sucked on
a blade of grass and watched the mill wheel turn. I was lying on my stomach on
the stream's opposite bank, my head propped in my hands. There was a tiny
rainbow in the mist above the froth and boil at the foot of the waterfall, and
an occasional droplet found its way to me. The steady splashing and the sound
of the wheel drowned out all other noises in the wood. The mill was deserted
today, and I contemplated it because I had not seen its
like in ages. Watching the wheel and listening to the water were more than just
relaxing. It was somewhat hypnotic.
It was our
third day at Benedict's place, and Ganelon was off in town seeking amusement. I
had accompanied him on the previous day and learned what I wanted to know at
that time. Now I had no time for sight-seeing. I had to think and act quickly.
There had been no difficulty at the camp. Benedict had seen us fed and had
furnished us with the map and the letter he had promised. We had departed at
sunrise and arrived at the manor around
Benedict
was planning to remain in the field for several more days. I would have to be done
with the task I had set myself before he came home. So a hellride was in order.
There was no time for leisurely journeying, I had to remember the proper
shadows and be under way soon.
It would
have been refreshing, being in this place that was so like my Avalon, except
that my thwarted purposes were reaching the point of obsession. Realizing this
was not tantamount to controlling it, however. Familiar sights and sounds had
diverted me only briefly, then I had turned once more
to my planning.
It should
work out neatly, as I saw it. This one journey should solve two of my problems,
if I could manage it without arousing suspicion. It meant that I would
definitely be gone overnight, but I had anticipated this and had already
instructed Ganelon to cover for me.
My head
nodding with each creak of the wheel, I forced everything else from my mind and
set about remembering the necessary texture of the sand, its coloration, the
temperature, the winds, the touch of salt in the air, the clouds . . .
I slept
then and I dreamed, but not of the place that I sought.
I regarded
a big roulette wheel, and we were all of us on it-my brothers, my sisters, myself, and others whom I knew or had known-rising and
falling, each with his allotted section. We were all shouting for it to stop
for us and wailing as we passed the top and headed down once more. The wheel
had begun to slow and I was on the rise. A fair-haired youth hung upside down
before me, shouting pleas and warnings that were drowned in the cacophony of
voices. His face darkened, writhed, became a horrible thing to behold, and I
slashed at the cord that bound his ankle and he fell from sight. The wheel
slowed even more as I neared the top, and I saw
I tried to
ignore her cry, for I was almost to the top. It came again, but I tensed myself
and prepared to spring upward. If it did not stop for me, I was going to try
gimmicking the damned thing, even though falling off would mean my total ruin. I readied myself for the leap. Another click. .. "Corwin!"
It receded,
returned, faded, and I was looking toward the water wheel again with my name
echoing in my ears and mingling, merging, fading into the sound of the stream.
I blinked
my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. A number of dandelions fell about
my shoulders as I did so, and I heard a giggle from somewhere behind me.
I turned
quickly and stared.
She stood
about a dozen paces from me, a tail, slender girl with dark eyes and
close-cropped brown hair. She wore a fencing jacket and held a rapier in her right
hand, a mask in her left. She was looking at me and laughing. Her teeth were
white, even and a trifle long; a band of freckles crossed her small nose and
the upper portions of her well-tanned cheeks. There was that air of vitality
about her which is attractive in ways different from mere comeliness.
Especially, perhaps, when viewed from the vantage of many years. She saluted me
with her blade. "En garde, Corwin!" she said.
"Who
the Devil are you?" I asked, just then noticing a jacket, mask, and rapier
beside me in the grass.
"No
questions, no answers," she said. "Not till we've fenced."
She fitted
her mask over her head then and waited.
I rose and
picked up the jacket. I could see that it would be easier to fence than argue
with her. The fact that she knew my name disturbed me,
and the more that I thought of it the more she seemed somehow familiar. It was
best to humor her, I decided, shrugging into the jacket and buckling it. I
picked up the blade, pulled on the mask.
"All
right," I said, sketching a brief salute and advancing. "All
right."
She moved
forward then and we met. I let her carry the attack.
She came on
very fast with a beat-feint-feint-thrust. My riposte was twice as fast, but she
was able to parry it and come back with equal speed. I began a slow retreat
then, drawing her out. She laughed and came on, pressing me hard. She was good
and she knew it. She wanted to show off. She almost got through twice, too, in
the same way-low-line-which I did not like at all. I caught her with a
stop-thrust as soon as I could after that. She cursed softly, goodnaturedly, as
she acknowledged it and came right back at me. I do not ordinarily like to
fence with women, no matter how good they are, but this time I discovered that
I was enjoying myself. The skill and grace with which she carried the attacks
and bore them gave me pleasure to behold and respond to, and I found myself
contemplating the mind that lay behind that style. At first, I had wanted to
tire her quickly, to conclude the match and question her. Now I found myself
desiring to prolong the encounter.
She did not
tire readily. There was small cause for concern on that count. I lost track of
time as we stamped back and forth along the bank of the stream, our blades
clicking steadily.
A long
while must have passed, though, before she stamped her heel and threw up her
blade in a final salute. She tore off her mask then and gave me another smile.
"Thank
you!" she said, breathing heavily.
I returned
the salute and drew off the bird cage. I tamed and fumbled with the jacket
buckles, and before I realized it she had approached and kissed me on the
cheek. She had not had to stand tiptoe to do it either. I felt momentarily
confused, but I smiled. Before I could say anything, she had taken my arm and
turned me back in the direction from which we had come.
"I've
brought us a picnic basket," she said.
"Very good. I am hungry. I am also curious . . ."
"I
will tell you anything that you want to hear," she said merrily.
"How
about telling me your name?" I said.
"Dara," she replied. "My name is Dara, after my
grandmother."
She glanced
at me as she said it, as though hoping for a reaction. I almost hated to
disappoint her, but I nodded and repeated it, then, "Why did you call me
Corwin?" I asked.
"Because that is your name," she said. "I recognized
you."
"From where?" She released my arm.
"Here
it is," she said, reaching behind a tree and raising a basket that had
been resting upon the ridges of exposed roots.
"I
hope the ants didn't get to it," she said, moving to a shaded area beside
the stream and spreading a cloth upon the ground.
I hung the
fencing gear on a nearby shrub.
"You
seem to carry quite a few things around with you," I observed.
"My
horse is back that way," she said, gesturing downstream with her head.
She
returned her attention to weighing down the cloth and unpacking the basket.
"Why way back there?" I asked.
"So that I could sneak up on you, of course. If you'd
heard a horse clomping around you'd have been awake sure as hell."
"You're probably right," I said.
She paused
as though pondering deeply, then spoiled it with a
giggle.
"But you didn't the first time, though. Still. .
."
"The first time?" I said, seeing she wanted me to
ask it.
"Yes,
I almost rode over you awhile back," she said. "You were sound
asleep. When I saw who it was, I went back for a picnic basket and the fencing
gear."
"Oh. I
see."
"Come
and sit down now," she said. "And open the bottle, will you?"
She put a
bottle beside my place and carefully unwrapped two crystal goblets, which she
then set in the center of the cloth.
I moved to my place and sat down.
"That
is Benedict's best crystal," I noted, as I opened the bottle.
"Yes," she said. "Do be careful not to upset them when
you pour-and I don't think we should clink them together."
"No, I
don't think we should," I said, and I poured. She raised her glass.
"To
the reunion," she said.
"What
reunion?"
"Ours." "I have never met you before."
"Don't
be so prosaic," she said, and took a drink.
I shrugged.
"To the reunion."
She began
to eat then, so I did too. She was so enjoying the air of mystery she had
created that I wanted to cooperate, just to keep her happy.
"Now
where could I have met you?" I ventured. "Was it some great court? A
harem, perhaps . . . ?"
"Perhaps it was in Amber," she said. "There you were . .
." ,
"Amber?" I said, remembering that I was holding Benedict's
crystal and confining my emotions to my voice. "Just who are you,
anyway?"
". . .
There you were-handsome, conceited, admired by all the ladies," she
continued, "and there I was- a mousy little thing, admiring you from afar.
Gray, or pastel-not vivid-little Dara-a late bloomer, I hasten to add-eating
her heart out for you-" I muttered a mild obscenity and she laughed again.
"That wasn't it?" she asked.
"No," I said, taking another bite of beef and bread.
"More likely it was that brothel where I sprained my back. I was drunk
that night-"
"You
remember!" she cried. "It was a part-time job. I used to break horses
during the day."
"I
give up," I said, and I poured more wine.
The really
irritating thing was that there was something damnably familiar about her. But
from her appearance and her behavior, I guessed her age at about seventeen.
This pretty much precluded our paths ever having crossed.
"Did
Benedict teach you your fencing?" I asked.
"Yes."
"What
is he to you?"
"My
lover, of course," she replied. "He keeps me in jewels and furs-and
he fences with me." She laughed again.
I continued
to study her face. Yes, it was possible. . .. "I
am hurt," I said, finally.
"Why?" she asked.
"Benedict didn't give me a cigar."
"Cigar?"
"You
are his daughter, aren't you?"
She
reddened, but she shook her head. "No," she said. "But you are
getting close."
"Granddaughter?" I said. "Well... sort
of."
"I am
afraid that I do not understand."
"Grandfather is what he likes me to call him. Actually, though, he
was my grandmother's father."
"I
see. Are there any others at home like you?"
"No, I
am the only one."
"What
of your mother-and your grandmother?"
"Dead, both of them."
"How
did they die?"
"Violently. Both times it happened while he was back in
Amber. I believe that is why he has not returned there for a long while now. He
does not like to leave me unprotected-even though he knows that I can take care
of myself. You know that I can, too, don't you?"
I nodded.
It explained several things, one of them being why he was Protector here. He
had to keep her somewhere, and he certainly would not want to take her back to
Amber. He would not even want her existence known to the rest of us. She could
be made into an easy armlock. And it would be out of keeping to
make me aware of her so readily.
So, "I
do not believe that you are supposed to be here," I said, "and I feel
that Benedict would be quite angry if he knew that you were."
"You
are just the same as he isl I am an adult, damn it!"
"Have
you heard me deny it? You are supposed to be someplace else, though, aren't you?"
She filled
her mouth instead of answering. So I did, too. After several uncomfortable
minutes of chewing, I decided to start on a fresh subject. "How did you
recognize me?" I asked. She swallowed, took a drink of wine, grinned.
"From your picture, of course," she said.
"What
picture?"
"On
the card," she said. "We used to play with them when I was very
small. I learned all my relatives that way. You and Eric are the other good
swordsmen, I knew that. That is why I-"
"You
have a set of the Trumps?" I interrupted.
"No," she said, pouting. "He wouldn't give me a set -and
I know he has several, too."
"Really? Where does he keep them?"
She
narrowed her eyes, focusing them on my own. Damn! I hadn't meant to sound that
eager.
But,
"He has a set with him most of the time," she said, "and I have
no idea where he keeps the others. Why? Won't he let you see them?"
"I
haven't asked him," I told her. "Do you understand their
significance?"
"There
were certain things I was not allowed to do when I was near them. I gather that
they have a special use, but he never told me what it is. They are quite
important, aren't they?"
"Yes."
"I
thought so. He is always so careful with them. Do you have a set?"
"Yes,
but it's out on loan just now."
"I
see. And you would like to use them for something complicated and
sinister."
I shrugged.
"I
would like to use them, but for very dull, uncomplicated purposes."
"Such as?" I shook my head.
"If
Benedict does not want you to know their function yet, I am not about to tell
you."
She made a
small growling noise.
"You're afraid of him," she said.
"I
have considerable respect for Benedict, not to mention some affection."
She laughed.
"Is he
a better fighter than you, a better swordsman?"
I looked
away. She must have just gotten back from someplace fairly removed from things.
The townspeople I'd met had all known about Benedict's arm. It was not the sort
of news that traveled slowly. I certainly was not going to be the first to tell
her.
"Have
it as you would," I said. "Where have you been?"
"The
village," she said, "in the mountains. Grandpa took me there to stay
with some friends of his called Tecys. Do you know the Tecys?"
"No, I
don't."
"I've
been there before," she said. "He always takes me to stay with them
in the village when there is any sort of trouble here. The place has no name. I
just call it the village. It is quite strange-the people, as well as the
village. They seem to-sort of-worship us. They treat me as if I were something holy, and they never tell me anything I want
to know. It is not a long ride, but the mountains are different, the sky is
different -everything!-and it is as if there were no way back, once I am there.
I had tried coming back on my own before, but I just got lost. Grandpa always
had to come for me, and then the way was easy. The Tecys follow all of his
instructions concerning me. They treat him as if he were some sort of god."
"He
is," I said, "to them."
"You
said that you do not know them."
"I
don't have to. I know Benedict."
"How
does he do it? Tell me." I shook my head.
"How
did you do it?" I asked her. "How did you get back here this
time?"
She
finished her wine and held out the glass. When I looked up from refilling it,
her head was cocked toward her right shoulder, her brows were furrowed, and her
eyes were focused on something far away.
"I do
not really know," she said, raising the glass and sipping from it
automatically, "l am not quite certain how I went
about it. . . ."
With her
left hand, she began to toy with her knife, finally picking it up.
"I was
mad, mad as hell for having beed packed off again," she said. "I told
him that I wanted to stay here and fight, but he took me riding with him and
after a time we arrived at the village. I do not know how. It was not a long
ride, and suddenly we were there. I know this area. I was born here, I grew up
here. I've ridden all over, hundreds of leagues in all directions. I was never
able to find it when I went looking. But it seemed only a brief while that we
rode, and suddenly we were at the Tecys' again. But it had been several years,
and I can be more determined about things now that I am grown. I resolved to
return by myself."
With the
knife, she began scraping and digging at the ground beside her, not seeming to
notice what she was doing.
"I
waited till nightfall," she went on, "and studied the stars to take
my direction. It was an unreal feeling. The stars were all different. I didn't
recognize any of the constellations. I went back inside and thought about it. I
was a little bit afraid and did not know what to do. I spent the next day
trying to get more information out of the Tecys and the other people in the
village. But it was like a bad dream. Either they were stupid or they were
purposely trying to confuse me. Not only was there no way to get from there to
here, they had no idea where 'here' was and were none too certain about
'there.' That night I checked the stars again, to be sure about what I had
seen, and I was about ready to begin believing them."
She moved
the knife back and forth as if honing it now, smoothing the soil and packing it
flat. Then she began to trace designs.
"For
the next several days, I tried to find my way back," she continued.
"I thought I could locate our trail and backtrack along it, but it just
sort of vanished. Then I did the only other thing I could think of. Each
morning I struck out in a different direction, rode until
"Then,
after about a week, I began having dreams. Nightmares, sort
of. Did you ever dream that you were running and running and not going anyplace?
That is sort of what it was like-with the burning spider web. Only it wasn't
really a spider web, there was no spider and it wasn't burning. But I was
caught in this thing, going around it and through it. But I wasn't really
moving. That is not completely right, but I do not know how else to put it. And
I had to keep trying- actually, I wanted to-to move about it. When I woke up I
was tired, as if I had actually been exerting myself all night long. This went
on for many nights, and each night it seemed stronger and longer and more real.
"Then
this morning I got up, the dream still dancing in my head, and I knew that I
could ride home. I set out, still half dreaming, it seemed. I rode the entire
distance without stopping once, and this time I paid no special heed to my
surroundings, but kept thinking of Avalon-and as I rode, things kept getting
more and more familiar until I was here again. Only then did it seem as if I
were fully awake. Now the village and the Tecys, that sky, those stars, the woods,
the mountains, they all seem like a dream to me. I am not at all certain that I
could find my way back there. Is that not strange? Can you tell me what
happened?"
I rose and
circled the remains of our lunch. I sat down beside her.
"Do
you remember the looks of the burning spider web that really wasn't a spider
web, or burning?" I asked her.
"Yes-sort of," she said.
"Give
me that knife," I said.
She passed
it to me.
With its
point, I began adding to her doodling in the dirt, extending lines, rubbing
some out, adding others. She did not say a word the entire time, but she
watched every move that I made. When I had finished, I put the knife aside and
waited for a long, silent while. Then, finally, she spoke very softly.
"Yes, that
is it," she said, turning away from the design to stare at me. "How
did you know? How did you know what I had dreamed?"
"Because," I said, "you dreamed a thing that is inscribed
in your very genes. Why, how, I do not know. It demonstrates, however, that you
are indeed a daughter of Amber. What you did was walk in Shadow. What you
dreamed was the Great Pattern of Amber. By its power do those of the blood
royal hold dominion over shadows. Do you understand
what I am talking about?"
"I am
not certain," she said. "I do not think so. I have heard Grandpa
cursing shadows, but I never understood what he meant."
"Then
you do not know where Amber truly lies."
"No.
He was always evasive. He told me of Amber and of the family. But I do not even
know the direction in which Amber lies. I only know that it is far."
"It
lies in all directions," I said, "or any direction one chooses. One
need but-"
"Yes!" she interrupted. "I had forgotten, or thought he
was just being mysterious or humoring me, but Brand said exactly the same thing
a long while ago. What does it mean, though?"
"Brand! When was Brand here?"
"Years
ago," she said, "when I was just a little girl. He used to visit here
often. I was very much in love with him and I pestered him mercilessly. He used
to tell me stories, teach me games . . ."
"When
was the last time you saw him?"
"Oh, eight or nine years ago. I'd say."
"Have
you met any of the others?"
"Yes," she said. "Julian and Gerard were here not too
long ago. Just a few months back."
I suddenly
felt very insecure. Benedict had certainly been quiet about a lot of things. I
would rather have been ill advised than kept totally ignorant of affairs. It
makes it easier for you to be angry when you find out. The trouble with
Benedict was that he was too honest, though. He would rather tell me nothing
than lie to me. I felt something unpleasant coming my way, however, and knew
that there could be no dawdling now, that I would have to move as quickly as
possible. Yes, it had to be a hard hellride for the stones. Still, there was
more to be learned here before I essayed it. Time . . . Damn!
"Was
that the first time that you met them?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "and my
feelings were very hurt." She paused, sighed. "Grandpa would not let
me speak of our being related. He introduced me as his ward. And he refused to
tell me why. Damn it!"
"I'm
sure he had some very good reasons."
"Oh, I
am too. But it does not make you feel any better, when you have been waiting
all your life to meet your relatives. Do you know why he treated me like
that?"
"These
are trying times in Amber," I said, "and things will get worse before
they get better. The fewer people who know of your existence, the less chance
there is of your getting involved and coming to harm. He did it only to protect
you." She made a spitting noise.
"I do
not need protecting," she said. "I can take care of myself."
"You
are a fine fencer," I said. "Unfortunately, life is more complicated
than a fair dueling situation."
"I
know that. I'm not a child. But-"
" 'But' nothing! He did the same thing I'd do if you
were mine. He's protecting himself as well as you. I'm surprised he let Brand
know about you. He's going to be damned mad that I found out." Her head
jerked and she stared at me, eyes wide.
"But
you wouldn't do anything to hurt us," she said. "We-we're related . "
"How
the hell do you know why I'm here or what I'm thinking?" I said. "You
might have just stuck both your necks in nooses!"
"You
are joking, aren't you?" she said, slowly raising her left hand between
us.
"I
don't know," I said. "I need not be-and I wouldn't be talking about
it if I did have something rotten in mind, would I?"
"No. .
. I guess not," she said.
"I am
going to tell you something Benedict should have told you long ago," I
said. "Never trust a relative. It is far worse than trusting strangers.
With a stranger there is a possibility that you might be safe."
"You
really mean that, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Yourself included?" I smiled.
"Of
course it does not apply to me. I am the soul of honor, kindness, mercy, and
goodness. Trust me in all things."
"I
will," she said, and I laughed.
"I
will," she insisted. "You would not hurt us. I know that."
"Tell
me about Gerard and Julian," I said, feeling uncomfortable, as always, in
the presence of unsolicited trust. "What was the reason for their
visit?"
She was
silent for a moment, still studying me, then, "I have been telling you
quite a few things," she said, "haven't I? You are right. One can
never be too careful. I believe that it is your turn to talk again."
"Good.
You are learning how to deal with us. What do you want to know?"
"Where
is the village, really? And Amber? They are somehow
alike, aren't they? What did you mean when you said that Amber lies in all
directions, or any? What are shadows?"
I got to my
feet and looked down at her. I held out my hand. She looked very young and more
than a little frightened then, but she took it. "Where .
. . ?" she asked, rising.
"This
way," I said, and I took her to stand at the place where I had slept and
regarded the falls and the water wheel.
She began to say something, but I stopped her.
"Look. Just look," I said.
So we stood
there looking at the rushing, the splashing, the
turning while I ordered my mind.
Then,
"Come," I said, turning her by the elbow and walking her toward the
wood.
As we moved
among the trees, a cloud obscured the sun and the shadows deepened. The voices
of the birds grew more shrill and a dampness came up
out of the ground. As we passed from tree to tree, their leaves became longer
and broader. When the sun appeared again, its light came more yellow, and
beyond a turning of the way we encountered hanging vines. The bird cries grew
hoarser, more numerous. Our trail took an upward turn, and I led her past an
outcropping of flint and onto higher ground. A distant, barely perceptible
rumble seemed to come from behind us. The sky was a different blue as we moved
through an open place, and we frightened a large, brown lizard that had been
sunning itself on arock. As we took a turn about another mass of stone, she
said, "I did not know this was here. I have never been this way
before." But I did not answer her, for I was busy shifting the stuff of
Shadow.
Then we
faced the wood once more, but now the way led uphill through it. Now the trees
were tropical giants, interspersed with ferns, and new noises-barks, hisses,
and buzzes-were to be heard. Moving up this trail, the rumble grew louder about
us, the very ground beginning to vibrate with it. Dara held tightly to my arm,
saying nothing now, but searching everything with her eyes. There were big,
flat, pale flowers and puddles where the moisture dripped from overhead. The
temperature had risen considerably and we were perspiring quite a bit. Now the
rumble grew to a mighty roar, and when at length we emerged from the wood
again, it was a sound like steady thunder that fell against us. I guided her to
the edge of the precipice and gestured outward and down.
It plunged
for over a thousand feet: a mighty cataract that smote the gray river like an
anvil. The currents were rapid and strong, bearing bubbles and flecks of foam a
great distance before they finally dissolved. Across from us, perhaps half a
mile distant, partly screened by rainbow and mist, like an island slapped by a
Titan, a gigantic wheel slowly rotated, ponderous and gleaming. High overhead,
enormous birds rode like drifting crucifixes the currents of the air.
We stood
there for a fairly long while. Conversation was impossible, which was just as
well. After a time, when she turned from it to look at me, narrow-eyed,
speculative, I nodded and gestured with my eyes toward the wood. Turning then,
we made our way back in the direction from which we had come.
Our return
was the same process in reverse, and I managed it with greater ease. When
conversation became possible once more, Dara still kept her silence, apparently
realizing by then that I was a part of the process of change going on around
us.
It was not
until we stood beside our own stream once more, watching the small mill wheel
in its turning, that she spoke.
"Was
that place like the village?"
"Yes. A shadow."
"And
like Amber?"
"No.
Amber casts Shadow. It can be sliced to any shape, if you know how. That place
was a shadow, your village was a shadow-and this place is a shadow. Any place
that you can imagine exists somewhere in Shadow."
". . .
And you and Grandpa and the others can go about in these shadows, picking and
choosing what you desire?"
"Yes."
"That
is what I did, then, coming back from the village?"
"Yes."
Her face
became a study in realization. Her almost black eyebrows dropped half an inch
and her nostrils flared with a quick inhalation.
"I can
do it, too . . ." she said. "Go anywhere, do anything I want!"
"The
ability lies within you," I said.
She kissed
me then, a sudden, impulsive thing, then rotated away,
her hair bobbing on her slim neck as she tried to look at everything at once.
"Then
I can do anything," she said, coming to a standstill.
"There
are limitations, dangers . . ."
"That
is life," she said. "How do I learn to control it?"
"The
Great Pattern of Amber is the key. You must walk it in order to gain the
ability. It is inscribed on the floor in a chamber beneath the palace in Amber.
It is quite large. You must begin on the outside and walk it to its center
without stopping. There is considerable resistance and the feat is quite an
ordeal. If you stop, if you attempt to depart the Pattern before completing it,
it will destroy you. Complete it, though, and your power over Shadow will be
subject to your conscious control."
She raced
to our picnic site and studied the pattern we had drawn on the ground there.
I followed
more slowly. As I drew near, she said, "I must go to Amber and walk
it!"
"I am
certain that Benedict plans for you to do so, eventually," I said.
"Eventually?" she said. "Now! I
must walk it now! Why did he never tell me of these things?"
"Because you cannot do it yet. Conditions in Amber are
such that it would be dangerous to both of you to allow your existence to
become known there. Amber is barred to you, temporarily."
"It is
not fair!" she said, turning to glare at me.
"Of
course not," I said. "But that is the way things stand just now.
Don't blame me."
The words
came somewhat stickily to my lips. Part of the blame, of course, was mine.
"It
would almost be better if you had not told me of these things," she said,
"if I cannot have them."
"It is
not as bad as all that," I said. "The situation in Amber will become
stable again-before too very long."
"How
will I learn of it?"
"Benedict will know. He will tell you then."
"He
has not seen fit to tell me much of anything!"
"To
what end? Just to make you feel bad? You know that he has been good to you,
that he cares for you. When the time is ready, he will move on your
behalf."
"And
if he does not? Will you help me then?"
"I
will do what I can."
"How
will I be able to find you? To let you know?"
I smiled.
It had gotten to this point without my half trying. No need to tell her the
really important part. Just enough to be possibly useful to me later. . . .
"The
cards," I said, "the family Trumps. They are more than a mere
sentimental affectation. They are a means of communication. Get hold of mine,
stare at it, concentrate on it, try to keep all other thoughts out of your
mind, pretend that it is really me and begin talking to me then. You will find
that it really is, and that I am answering you."
"Those
are all the things Grandpa told me not to do when I handle the cards!"
"Of course."
"How
does it work?"
"Another time," I said. "A thing for a
thing. Remember? I have told you now of Amber and of Shadow. Tell me of
the visit here by Gerard and Julian."
"Yes," she said. "There is not really much to tell,
though. One morning, five or six months ago. Grandpa
simply stopped what he was doing. He was pruning some trees back in the
orchard-he likes to do that himself-and I was helping him. He was up on a
ladder, snipping away, and suddenly he just stopped, lowered the clippers, and
did not move for several minutes. I thought that he was just resting, and I
kept on with my raking. Then I heard him talking-not just muttering-but talking
as though he were carrying on a conversation. At first, I thought he was
talking to me, and I asked him what he had said. He ignored me, though. Now
that I know about the Trumps, I realize that he must have been talking to one
of them just then. Probably Julian. Anyway, he climbed
down from the ladder quite quickly after that, told me he had to go away for a
day or so, and started back toward the manor. He stopped before he had gone
very far, though, and returned. That was when he told me that if Julian and
Gerard were to visit here that I was to be introduced as his ward, the orphaned
daughter of a faithful servant. He rode away a short while later, leading two
spare horses. He was wearing his blade.
"He
returned in the middle of the night, bringing both of them with him. Gerard was
barely conscious. His left leg was broken, and the entire left side of his body
was badly bruised. Julian was quite battered also,
but-he had no broken bones. They remained with us for the better part of a
month, and they healed quickly. Then they borrowed two horses and departed. I
have not seen them since."
"What
did they say as to how they had been injured?"
"Only
that they had been in an accident They would not
discuss it with me."
"Where? Where did it happen?"
"On the black road. I overheard them talking about it
several times."
"Where
is this black road?"
"I do
not know."
"What
did they say about it?"
"They
cursed it a lot. That was all."
Looking
down, I saw that there was some wine left in the bottle. I stooped and poured
two final drinks, passed her one.
"To
the reunion," I said, and smiled.
". . .
The reunion," she agreed, and we drank.
She began
cleaning the area and I assisted her, my earlier sense of urgency upon me once
again.
"How
long should I wait before I try to reach you?" she asked.
"Three
months. Give me three months."
"Where
will you be then?"
"In
Amber, I hope."
"How
long will you be staying here?"
"Not very. In fact, I have to take a little trip right
now. I should be back tomorrow, though. I will probably only be staying for a
few days after that."
"I
wish you would stay longer."
"I
wish that I could. I would like to, now that I have met you."
She
reddened and turned what seemed all of her attention to repacking the basket. I
gathered up the fencing gear.
"Are
you going back to the manor now?" she said.
"To the stables. I'll be leaving immediately."
She picked
up the basket.
"We
will go together then. My horse is this way." I nodded and followed her
toward a footpath to our right.
"I
suppose," she said, "that it would be best
for me not to mention any of this to anybody. Grandpa in
particular?"
"That
would be prudent."
The splash
and gurgle of the stream, as it flowed to the river, on its way to the sea,
faded, faded, was gone, and only the creak of the land-locked wheel that cut it
as it went, remained for a time in the air.
Chapter 6
Steady
movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long as there is a
regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks into, there is room for
lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is a matter of discretion.
So I moved
slowly, but steadily, using my discretion. No sense in tiring Star
unnecessarily. Rapid shifts are hard enough on people. Animals, who are not so good at lying to themselves, have a rougher
time of it, sometimes going completely berserk.
I crossed
the stream at a small wooden bridge and moved parallel to it for a time. My
intention was to skirt the town itself, but to follow the general direction of
the watercourse until I reached the vicinity of the coast. It was midaftemoon.
My way was shaded, cool. Grayswandir hung at my side.
I bore
west, coming at length to the hills that rose there. I refrained from beginning
the shift until after I had reached a point that looked down upon the city that
represented the largest concentration of population in this realm that was like
my Avalon.
The city
bore the same name, and several thousand people lived there, worked there.
Several of the silver towers were missing, and the stream cut the city at a
somewhat different angle farther south, having widened or been widened
eightfold by then. There was some smoke from the smithies and the public
houses, stirred lightly by breezes from the south; people, mounted, afoot,
driving wagons, driving coaches, moved through the narrow streets, entered and
departed shops, hostels, residences; flocks of birds wheeled, descended, rose
about the places where horses were tethered; a few bright pennons and banners
stirred listlessly; the water sparkled and there was a haze in the air. I was
too far away to hear the sounds of voices, and of clanking, hammering, sawing,
rattling, and creaking as anything other than a generalized hum. While I could
distinguish no individual odors, had I still been blind I would have known by
sniffing the air that a city was near.
Seeing it
from up there, a certain nostalgia came over me, a wistful rag-tail of a dream
accompanied by a faint longing for the place that was this place's namesake to
me in a vanished shadowland of long ago, where life had been just as simple and
I happier than I was at that moment.
But one
does not live as long as I have lived without achieving that quality of
consciousness which strips naive feelings as they occur and is generally loathe
to participate in the creation of sentimentality.
Those days
were passed, that thing done with, and it was Amber now that held me
completely. I turned and continued southward, confirmed in my desire to
succeed. Amber, I do not forget . . .
The sun
became a dazzling, bright blister above my head and the winds began to scream
about me. The sky grew more and more yellow and glaring as I rode, until it was
as if a desert stretched from horizon to horizon overhead. The hills grew
rockier as I descended toward the lowlands, exhibiting wind-sculpted forms of
grotesque shape and somber coloration. A dust storm struck me as I emerged from
the foothills, so that I had to muffle my face with my cloak and narrow my eyes
to slits. Star whinnied, snuffled repeatedly, plodded on. Sand, stone, winds,
and the sky more orange then, a slate-like crop of clouds toward which the sun
was heading...
Then long
shadows, the dying of the wind, stillness
. . . Only the click of hoof on rock and the sounds
of breathing . . . Dimness, as they rushed together and the sun is foiled by clouds . . . The walls of the day shaken by
thunder . . . An unnatural clarity of distant objects
. . . A cool, blue, and electric feeling in the air .
. . Thunder again . . .
Now, a
rippling, glassy curtain to my right as the rain advances . . . Blue fracture
lines within the clouds . . . The temperature plummeting, our pace steady, the
world a monochromatic backdrop now. . .
Gouging
thunder, flashing white, the curtain flaring toward us now . . . Two hundred
meters . . . One-fifty... Enough!
Its
bottommost edge plowing, furrowing, frothing. . . The moist smell of the earth
. . . Star's whinny . . . A burst of speed . . .
Small
rivulets of water creeping outward, sinking, staining the ground . . . Now
bubbling muddily, now trickling. . . Now a steady flow . . .
Streamlets all about us, splashing . . .
High ground
ahead, and Star's muscles bunching and relaxing, bunching and relaxing beneath
me, as he leaps the rills and freshets, plunges through a racing, roiling
sheet, and strikes the slope, hoofs sparkling against stones as we mount higher,
the voice of the gurgling, eddying flow beneath us deepening to a steady roar .
. .
Higher,
then, and dry, pausing to wring out the corners of my cloak. . . . Below,
behind, and to the right a gray, storm-tossed sea laps at the foot of the cliff
we hold...
Inland now, toward clover fields and evening, the boom of the surf
at my back . . .
Pursuing
falling stars into the darkening east and eventual silence and night . . .
Clear the
sky and bright the stars, but a few small wisps of cloud . . .
A howling
pack of red-eyed things, twisting along our trail . . . Shadow . . . Green-eyed
. . . Shadow . . . Yellow . . . Shadow . . . Gone . . .
But dark
peaks with skirts of snow, jostling one another about me . . . Frozen snow, as
dry as dust, lifted in waves by the icy blasts of the heights . . . Powdery
snow, flour-like . . . Memory here, of the Italian Alps, of skiing . . . Waves
of snow drifting across stone faces . . . A white fire within the night air. .
. My feet rapidly numbing within my wet boots . . . Star bewildered and
snorting, testing each step and shaking his head as if in disbelief . . .
So shadows
beyond the rock, a gentler slope, a drying wind, less snow . . .
A twisting
trail, a corkscrew trail, an adit into warmth . . . Down, down, down the night,
beneath the changing stars...
Far the
snows of an hour ago, now scrubby plants and level plain . . . Far, and the
night birds stagger into the air, wheeling above the carrion feast, shedding
hoarse notes of protest as we pass . . .
Slow again,
to the place where the grasses wave, stirred by the less cold breeze . . . The
cough of a hunting cat . . . The shadowy flight of a bounding, deerlike beast .
. . Stars sliding into place and feelings in my feet once more . ..
Star
rearing, neighing, racing ahead from some unseen thing . . . A long time in the
soothing then, and longer still till the shivers go . . .
Now icicles
of a partial moon falling on distant treetops . . . Moist earth exhaling a
luminescent mist . . . Moths dancing in the night light. . .
The ground
momentarily buckling and swaying, as if mountains were shifting their feet . .
. To every star its double . . . A halo round the dumbbell moon . . . The
plain, the air above it, filled with fleeting shapes . . .
The earth,
a wound-down clock, ticks and grows still . . . Stability . . . Inertia . . .
The stars and the moon reunited with their spirits . . .
Skirting
the growing fringe of trees, west . . . Impressions of a sleeping jungle: delirium
of serpents under oil cloth . . .
West, west
. . . Somewhere a river with broad, clean banks to ease my passage to the sea .
. .
Thud of
hoofs, shuttling of shadows . . . The night air upon my face . . . A glimpse of
bright beings on high, dark walls, shining towers . . . The air is sweetened. .
. Vision swims . . . Shadows . . .
We are
merged, centaur-like. Star and I, under a single skin of sweat . . . We take
the air and give it back in mutual explosions of exertion . . . Neck clothed in
thunder, terrible the glory of the nostrils . . . Swallowing the ground . . .
Laughing,
the smell of the waters upon us, the trees very near to our left . . .
Then among
them . . . Sleek bark, hanging vines, broad leaves, droplets of moisture . . .
Spider web in the moonlight, struggling shapes within . . . Spongy turf . . .
Phosphorent fungus on fallen trees . . .
A clear
space . . . Long grasses rustling . . .
More
trees...
Again, the
riversmell . . .
Sounds,
later . . . Sounds . . . The grassy chuckling of water...
Closer,
louder, beside it at last . . . The heavens buckling and bending in its belly,
and the trees . . . Clean, with a cold, damp tang . . . Leftward beside it,
pacing it now . . . Easy and flowing, we follow . . .
To drink .
. . Splashing in its shallows, then hockhigh with head depressed, Star, in it,
drinking like a pump, blasting spray from his nostrils . . . Upriver, it laps
at my boots . . . Dripping from my hair, running down my arms . . . Star's head
turning, at the laughter . . .
Then
downriver again, clean, slow, winding. . . Then straight, widening, slowing . .
.
Trees
thickening, then thinning . . .
Long,
steady, slow . . .
A faint
light in the east . ..
Sloping
downward now, and fewer trees . . . Rockier, and the darkness made whole once again . ..
The first,
dim hint of the sea, lost an odor later . . . Clicking on, on, in the nightsend
chill . . . Again, an instant's salt . . .
Rock, and an absence of trees. . . Hard, steep, bleak, down.
. . Ever-increasing precipitonsness . . .
Flashing
between walls of stone . . . Dislodged pebbles vanishing in the now racing
current, their splashes drowned in the roar's echoes .
. . Deeper the defile, widening . . .
Down, down . . . Farther still . . .
Now pale
once more the east, gentler the slope . . . Again, the touch of salt, stronger
. . .
Shale and
grit . . . Around a comer, down, and brighter still . . .
Steady, soft and loose the footing . . .
The breeze
and the light, the breeze and the light . . . Beyond a crop of rock . . . Draw
rein.
Below me
lay the stark seaboard, where rank upon rank of rolling dunes, harassed by the
winds out of the southwest, tossed spumes of sand that partly obliterated the
distant outlines of the bleak morning sea.
I watched
the pink film spread across the water from the east. Here and there, the
shifting sands revealed dark patches of gravel. Rugged masses of rock reared
above the swell of the waves. Between the massive dunes-hundreds of feet in
height-and myself, there high above that evil coast,
lay a smashed and pitted plain of angular rocks and gravel, just now emerging
from hell or night into dawn's first glow, and alive with shadows.
Yes, it was
right.
I
dismounted and watched the sun force a bleak and glaring day upon the prospect.
It was the hard, white light I had sought. Here, sans humans, was the necessary
place, just as I had seen it decades earlier on the shadow Earth of my exile.
No bulldozers, sifters, broom-wielding blacks; no maximum-security city of
I broke out
the rations and prepared breakfast. It was going to be a hot, dusty day.
As I worked
the dunes, I thought of Doyle, the little wispy-haired jeweler with the
brick-red complexion and wens on his cheeks, back in Avalon. Jewelers rouge?
Why did I want all that jewelers rouge-enough to supply an army of jewelers for
a dozen lifetimes? I had shrugged. What was it to him what I wanted it for, so
long as I was able to pay for it? Well, if there was some new use for the stuff
and good money to be made, a man would be a fool . . . In other words, he would be unable to furnish me with such a quantity
within a week? Small, square chuckles had escaped through the gaps in his
smile. A week? Oh, no! Of course not! That was
ridiculous, out of the question. . . . I saw. Well, a quick thanks and perhaps
his competitor up the way might be able to produce the stuff, and might also be
interested in a few uncut diamonds I was expecting in a matter of days. . . .
Diamonds, did I say? Wait. He was always interested in diamonds himself. . . .
Yes, but he was sadly deficient in the jewelers rouge department. A raised hand. It might be that he had spoken hastily with
respect to his ability to produce the polishing material. It was the quantity
that had disturbed him. But the ingredients were plentiful and the formula
fairly simple. Yes, that was no real reason why something could not be worked
out. Within a week, at that. Now, about the diamonds .
. .
Before I
left his shop, something had been worked out.
I have met
many persons who thought that gunpowder explodes, which of course is incorrect.
It burns rapidly, building up gas pressure which ejects a bullet from the mouth
of a shell and drives it through the barrel of a weapon, after having been
ignited by the primer, which does the actual exploding when the firing pin is
driven into it. Now, with typical family foresight, I had experimented with a
variety of combustibles over the years. My disappointment at the discovery that
gunpowder would not ignite in Amber, and that all of the primers I tested were
equally inert there, was a thing mitigated only by the knowledge that none of
my relatives could bring firearms into Amber either. It was much later, during
a visit to Amber, after polishing a bracelet I had brought for Deirdre, that I
discovered this wonderful property of jewelers rouge from Avalon when I
disposed of the polishing cloth in a fireplace. Fortunately, the quantity
involved was small, and I was alone at the time.
It made an
excellent primer, straight from the container. When cut with a sufficient
quantity of inert material, it could also be made to burn properly.
I kept this
bit of information to myself, feeling that one day it would be used to decide
certain basic issues in Amber. Unfortunately, Eric and I had our run-in before
that day arrived and it went into storage along with all my other memories.
When things finally did clear for me, my fortunes were quickly cast with those
of Bleys, who was preparing an assault on Amber. He had not really needed me
then, but had taken me in on the enterprise, I feel, so that he could keep an
eye on me. Had I furnished him with guns, he would have been invincible and I
would have been unnecessary. More important, had we succeeded in seizing Amber
in accordance with his plans, the situation would have become strained indeed,
with the bulk of the occupying forces, as well as the officers' loyalty, his.
Then I would have required something to adjust the balance of power more
equitably. A few bombs and automatic weapons, say.
Had I been
my whole self even a month earlier, things would have been quite different. I
could have been sitting in Amber, rather than being scorched, abraded, and
desiccated, with another hellride before me and a knot of troubles to be worked
out after that.
I spat sand
so that I would not choke when I laughed. Hell, we make our own ifs. I had
better things to think about than what could have happened. Like Eric . . .
I remember
that day, Eric. I was in chains and I had been forced to my knees before the
throne. I had already crowned myself, to mock you, and been beaten for it. The
second time I had the crown in my hands, I threw it at you. But you caught it
and smiled. I was glad that it was not damaged when it failed to damage you.
Such a beautiful thing. . . . All of silver, with its seven high points, and studded
with emeralds to beat all diamonds. Two large rubies at either temple. . . .
You crowned yourself that day, all arrogance and hasty pomp. The first words
that you spoke then were whispered to me, before the echoes of "Long live the king!" had died within the hall. I remember
every one of them. "Your eyes have looked upon the fairest sight they ever
will behold," you said. Then, "Guards!" you ordered. "Take
Corwin away to the smithy, and let his eyes be burnt from out his head! Let him
remember the sights of this day as the last he might ever see! Then cast him
into the darkness of the deepest dungeon beneath Amber, and let his name be
forgotten!"
"Now
you reign in Amber," I said aloud. "But I have my eyes, and I have
neither forgotten nor been forgotten."
No, I
thought. Wrap yourself in the kingship, Eric. The walls of Amber are high and
thick. Stay behind them. Ring yourself with the futile steel of blades.
Antlike, you armor your house in dust. You know now that you will never be
secure so long as I live, and I have told you that I will be back. I am coming,
Eric. I will bring me up guns out of Avalon, and I will break down your doors
and smite your defenders. Then it will be as it was, briefly, another time,
before your men came to you and saved you. That day I had only a few drops of
your blood. This time, I will have it all.
I uncovered
another rough diamond, the sixteenth or so, and flipped it into the sack at my
waist.
As I faced
the setting sun, I wondered about Benedict, Julian, and Gerard. What was the
connection? Whatever, I did not like any combination of interests which
involved Julian. Gerard was all right. I had been able to sleep back at the
camp when I had thought that it was he whom Benedict was contacting. If he was
now allied with Julian, though, it was cause for increased uneasiness. If
anyone hated me even more than Eric, it was Julian. If he knew where I was,
then my danger was great. I was not yet ready for a confrontation.
I supposed
Benedict could find a moral justification for selling me out at this point.
After all, he knew that whatever I did-and he knew that I was going to do
something-would result in strife in Amber. I could understand, even sympathize
with, his feelings. He was dedicated to the preservation of the realm. Unlike
Julian, he was a man of principle, and I regretted having to be at odds with
him. My hope was that my coup would be as quick and painless as a tooth
extraction under gas, and that we would be back on the same side again soon
afterward. Having met Dara now, I also wanted it this way for her sake.
He had told
me too little for comfort. I had no way of knowing whether he really intended
to remain in the field the entire week, or whether he was even now cooperating
with the forces of Amber in the laying of my trap, the walling of my prison,
the digging of my grave. I had to hurry, though I longed to linger in Avalon.
I envied
Ganelon, in whatever tavern or brothel he drank, whored, or fought, on whatever
hillside he hunted. He had come home. Should I leave him to his pleasures,
despite his offer to accompany me to Amber? But no, he would be questioned on
my departure-used badly, if Julian had anything to do with it-and then become
an outcast in what must seem his own land to him, if they let him go at all.
Then he would doubtless become an outlaw again, and the third time would
probably prove his undoing. No, I would keep my promise. He would come with me,
if that was he still wanted. If he had changed his mind, well-I even envied him
the prospect of outlawry in Avalon. I would have liked to remain longer, to
ride with Dara in the hills, tramp about the countryside, sail
upon the rivers....
I thought
about the girl. The knowledge of her existence changed things somewhat. I was
not certain how. Despite our major hatreds and petty animosities, we Amberites
are a very family-conscious bunch, always eager for news of one another,
desirous to know everyone's position in the changing picture. A pause for
gossip has doubtless stayed a few death blows among us. I sometimes think of us
as a gang of mean little old ladies in a combination rest home and obstacle
course.
I could not
fit Dara into things yet because she did not know where she fit herself. Oh,
she would learn eventually. She would receive superb tutelage once her
existence became known. Now that I had brought her awareness of her uniqueness
it would only be a matter of time before this occurred and she joined in the
games. I had felt somewhat serpent-like at points during our conversation in
the grove-but hell, she had a right to know. She was bound to find out sooner
or later, and the sooner she did the sooner she could start shoring up her
defenses. It was for her own benefit.
Of course,
it was possible-even likely-that her mother and grandmother had lived their
lives in ignorance of their heritage. . .
And where
had it gotten them? They died violently, she had said.
Was it
possible, I wondered, that the long arm of Amber had reached for them out of
Shadow? And that it might strike again?
Benedict
could be as tough and mean and nasty as any of us when he wanted to be. Tougher, even. He would fight to protect his own, doubtless
even kill one of us if he thought it necessary. He must have assumed that
keeping her existence a secret and keeping her ignorant would protect her. He
would be angry with me when he found out what I had done, which was another
reason for clearing out in a hurry. But I had not told her what I had out of
sheer perverseness. I wanted her to survive, and I did not feel he was handling
things properly. When I returned, she would have had time to think things over.
She would have many questions and I would seize the opportunity to caution her
at length and to give specifics.
I gnashed
my teeth.
None of
this should be necessary. When I ruled in Amber, things would be different.
They had to be. . .
Why had no
one ever come up with a way to change the basic nature of man? Even the erasure
of all my memories and a new life in a new world had resulted in the same old
Corwin. If I were not happy with what I was it could be a proposition worthy of
despair.
In a quiet
part of the river, I washed away the dust, the sweat, wondering the while about
the black road which had so injured my brothers. There were many things that I
needed to know.
As I
bathed, Grayswandir was never far from my hand. One of us is capable of
tracking another through Shadow, when the trail is still warm. As it was, my
bath was undisturbed, though I used Grayswandir three times on the way back, on
less mundane things than brothers.
But this
was to be expected, as I had accelerated the pace considerably. . . .
It was
still dark, though dawn was not too far away, when I entered the stables at my
brother's manor. I tended Star, who had grown somewhat wild, talking to him and
soothing him as I rubbed him down, then putting out a good supply of food and
water. Ganelon's Firedrake greeted me from the opposite stall. I cleaned up at
the pump to the rear of the stable, trying to decide where I was going to catch
a little sleep.
I needed
some rest. A few hours' worth would hold me for a time, but I refused to take
them beneath Benedict's roof. I would not be taken that easily, and while I had
often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old
age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love.
I was not
averse to drinking his booze, though, and I wanted a belt of something strong.
The manor was dark; I entered quietly and I found the sideboard.
I poured a
stiff one, tossed it off, poured another, and carried it to the window. I could
see for a great distance. The manor stood on a hillside and Benedict had
landscaped the place well.
" 'White in the moon the long road lies,' " I
recited, surprised at the sound of my own voice. " 'The moon stands blank
above...' "
"So it
does. So it does, Corwin my lad," I heard Ganelon say.
"I
didn't see you sitting there," I said softly, not turning from the window.
"That's because I'm sitting so still," he said.
"Oh," I said. "How drunk are you?"
"Hardly at all," he said, "now. But if you would care to
be a good fellow and fetch me a drink..."
I turned.
"Why
can't you get your own?"
"It
hurts to move."
"All right."
I went and
poured him one, carried it to him. He raised it
slowly, nodded his thanks, took a sip.
"Ah,
that's good!" he sighed. "May it numb things a bit"
"You
were in a fight," I decided.
"Aye," he said. "Several."
"Then
bear your wounds like a good trooper and let me save my sympathy."
"But I
won!"
"God! Where did you leave the bodies?"
"Oh,
they are not that bad off. Twas a girl did this to me."
"Then
I'd say you got your money's worth."
" 'Twas not that sort of thing at all. I believe I've
embarrassed us."
"Us? How?"
"I did
not know she was the lady of the house. I came in feeling jolly, and I thought
her some serving wench..."
"Dara?" I said, tensing.
"Aye, the same. I slapped her on the rump and went for
a kiss or two-" He groaned. "Then she picked me up. She raised me off
the ground and held me up over her head. Then she told me she was the lady of
the house. Then she let me fall. . . . I'm eighteen stone if I'm a pebble, man,
and it was a long way down." He took another drink, and I chuckled.
"She
laughed, too," he said ruefully. "She helped me up then and was not
unkind, and of course I apologized-That brother of yours must be quite a man. I
never met a girl that strong. The things she could do to a man. . . ."
There was awe in his voice. He shook his head slowly and tossed back the rest
of his drink. "It was frightening-not to mention embarrassing," he
concluded.
"She
accepted your apology?"
"Oh,
yes. She was quite gracious about the whole thing. She told me to forget all
about it, and said that she would, too."
"Then
why are you not in bed sleeping it off?"
"I was
waiting up, in case you came in at an odd hour. I wanted to catch you right
away."
"Well,
you have."
He rose
slowly and picked up his glass.
"Let's
go outside," he said.
"Good
idea."
He picked
up the brandy decanter on the way out, which I also thought was a good idea,
and we followed a path through the garden behind the house. Finally, he heaved
himself onto an old stone bench at the foot of a large oak tree, where he
refilled both our glasses and took a drink from his own.
"Ah! He has good taste in liquor, too,
your brother," be said.
I seated
myself beside him and filled my pipe.
"After
I told her I was sorry and introduced myself, we got to talking for a
time," he said. "As soon as she learned I was with you, she wanted to
know all sorts of things about Amber and shadows and you and the rest of your
family."
"Did
you tell her anything?" I said, striking a light.
"Couldn't have if I wanted to," he said. "I had none of
the answers."
"Good."
"It
got me to thinking, though. I do not believe Benedict tells her too much, and I
can see why. I would be careful what I say around her, Corwin. She seems
over-curious."
I nodded,
puffing.
"There
is a reason for it," I said. "A very good reason.
I am glad to know, though, that you keep your wits about you even when you have
been drinking. Thanks for telling me."
He shrugged
and took a drink.
"A
good bashing is a sobering thing. Also, your welfare is my welfare."
"True.
Does this version of Avalon meet with your approval?"
"Version? It is my Avalon," he said. "A new
generation of people is in the land, but it is the same place. I visited the
Field of Thorns today, where I put down Jack Hailey's bunch in your service. It
was the same place."
"The
Field of Thorns . . ." I said, remembering.
"Yes,
this is my Avalon," he continued, "and I'll be coming back here for
my old age, if we live trough Amber."
"You
still want to come along?"
"All
my life I've wanted to see Amber-well, since I first heard of it. That was from
you, in happier times."
"I do
not really remember what I said. It must have been a good telling."
"We
were both wonderfully drunk that night, and it seemed but a brief while that
you talked-weeping some of the time-telling me of the mighty mountain Kolvir
and the green and golden spires of the city, of the promenades, the decks, the
terraces, the flowers, the fountains. . . . It seemed but a brief while, but it
was most of the night-for before we staggered off to bed, the morning had
begun. God! I could almost draw you a map of the place! I must see it before I
die."
"I do
not remember that night," I said slowly. "I must have been very, very
drunk."
He
chuckled.
"We
had some good times here in the old days," he said. "And they do
remember us here. But as people who lived very long ago-and they have many of
the stories wrong. But hell! How many people get their stories right from day
to day?"
I said
nothing, smoking, thinking back.
". . .
All of which leads me to a question or two," he said.
"Shoot."
"Will
your attack on Amber put you at great odds with your brother Benedict?"
"I
really wish that I knew the answer to that one," I said. "I think
that it will, initially. But my move should be completed before he can reach
Amber from here, in response to any distress call that goes out. That is, reach
Amber with reinforcements. He could get there in no time at all, personally, if
someone on the other end were helping. But that would serve little purpose. No.
Rather than tear Amber apart, he will support whoever can hold it together, I
am certain. Once I have ousted Eric, he will want the strife to stop right
there and he will go along with my holding the throne, just to put an end to
it. He will not really approve of the seizure in the first place, of
course."
"That
is what I am getting at. Will there be bad blood between you afterward as a
result of that?"
"I do
not believe so. This is purely a matter of politics, and we have known one
another most of our lives, he and I, and have always been on better terms with
each other than either of us with Eric."
"I
see. Since you and I are in this together and Avalon seems to be Benedict's
now, I was wondering what his feelings would be about my returning here one
day. Would he hate me for having helped you?"
"I
doubt that very much. He has never been that sort of person."
"Then
let me carry things a step further. God knows I am an experienced military man,
and if we succeed in taking Amber he will have ample evidence of the fact, with
his right arm injured the way that it is and all, do you think he might
consider taking me on as a field commander for his militia? I know this area so
well. I could take him to the Field of Thorns and describe that battle. Helll I
would serve him well-as well as I served you."
He laughed
then.
"Pardon me. Better than I served you."
I chuckled,
sipped my drink.
"It
would be tricky," I said. "Of course I like the idea. But I am not
too certain that you could ever enjoy his trust. It would seem too obvious a
ploy on my part."
"Damn
politics! That is not what I meant! Soldiering is all that I know, and I love
Avalon!"
"I
believe you. But would he?"
"With
only one arm he will be needing a good man about. He
could-"
I began to
laugh and restrained myself quickly, for the sound of laughter seems to carry
for a good distance. Also, Ganelon's feelings were involved.
"I am
sorry," I said. "Excuse me, please. You do not understand. You do not
really understand who it was we talked with in the tent that night. He may have
seemed an ordinary man to you-a handicapped one, at that. But this is not so. I
fear Benedict. He is unlike any other being in Shadow or reality. He is the
Master of Arms for Amber. Can you conceive of a millennium? A thousand years? Several of them? Can you understand a man who, for almost
every day of a lifetime like that, has spent some time dwelling with weapons,
tactics, strategies? Because you see him in a tiny
kingdom, commanding a small militia, with a well-pruned orchard in his back
yard, do not be deceived. All that there is of military
science thunders in his head. He has often journeyed from shadow to
shadow, witnessing variation after variation on the same battle, with but
slightly altered circumstances, in order to test his theories of warfare. He
has commanded armies so vast that you could watch them march by day after day
and see no end to the columns. Although he is inconvenienced by the loss of his
arm, I would not wish to fight with him either with weapons or barehanded. It
is fortunate that he has no designs upon the throne, or he would be occupying
it right now. If he were, I believe that I would give up at this moment and pay
him homage. I fear Benedict."
Ganelon was
silent for a long while, and I took another drink, for my throat had become
dry.
"I did
not realize this, of course," he said then. "I will be happy if he
just lets me come back to Avalon."
"That much he will do. I know."
"Dara
told me she had a message from him today. He has decided to cut short his stay
in the field. He will probably be returning tomorrow."
"Damn!" I said, standing. "We will have to move soon,
then. I hope Doyle has that stuff ready. We must go to him in the morning and
expedite matters. I want to be away from here before Benedict gets back!"
"You
have the pretties then?"
"Yes."
"May I
see them?"
I undid the
sack at my belt and passed it to him. He opened it and withdrew several stones,
holding them in the palm of his left hand and turning them slowly with his
fingertips.
"They
do not look like much," he said, "from what I can see of them in this
light. Wait! There's a glimmer! No..."
"They
are in the rough, of course. You are holding a fortune in your hands."
"Amazing," he said, dropping them back in the sack and
refastening it. "It was so easy for you."
"It
was not all that easy."
"Still, to gather a fortune so quickly seems somehow unfair."
He passed
it back.
"I
will see that you are provided with a fortune when our labors are done," I
said. "That should prove some compensation, should Benedict not offer you
a position."
"Now
that I know who he is, I am more determined than ever to work for him one
day."
"We
will see what can be done."
"Yes.
Thank you, Corwin. How shall we work our departure?"
"I
want you to go and get some rest, for I will roust you out of bed early. Star
and Firedrake will take unkindly to the notion of draft duty, I fear, but we
will then borrow one of Benedict's wagons and head into town. Before this, I
will try to arrange a good smoke screen here for our orderly withdrawal. We will
then hurry Doyle the jeweler about his task, obtain our cargo, and depart into
Shadow as quickly as possible. The greater our head start, the more difficult
it will be for Benedict to track us. If I can get half a day's lead into
Shadow, it will be practically impossible for him."
"Why
should he be so eager to come after us in the first place?"
"He
does not trust me worth a damn-and justly so. He is waiting for me to make my
move. He knows there is something I need here, but he does not know what. He
wants to find out, so that he can seal off another threat to Amber. As soon as
he realizes we have gone for good, he will know that we have it and he will
come looking."
Ganelon
yawned, stretched, finished his drink.
"Yes," he said then. "We'd best rest now, to be in
condition for the hurrying. Now that you have told me more about Benedict, I am
less surprised by the other thing I meant to tell you-though no less
discomfited." "That being . . . ?"
He rose to
his feet, picked up the decanter carefully, then pointed down the path.
"If
you continue on in that direction," he said, "passing the hedge that
marks the end of this bower and entering the woods that lie below-and then go
on for another two hundred paces or so-you will come to a place where there is
a little grove of saplings off to the left, standing in a sudden declivity
perhaps four feet lower than the level of the trail itself. Down in it, stamped
down and strewn over with leaves and twigs, there is a fresh grave. I found it
while taking the air earlier, when I paused to relieve myself down there."
"How
do you know it is a grave?"
He
chuckled.
"When
holes have bodies in them that is how they are generally called. It was quite
shallow, and I poked around a bit with a stick. There are four bodies in
there-three men and a woman."
"How recently dead?"
"Very.
A few days. I'd judge."
"You
left it as you found it?"
"I'm
not a fool, Corwin."
"Sorry. But this troubles me considerably, because I don't
understand it at all."
"Obviously they gave Benedict some trouble and he returned the
favor."
"Perhaps. What were they like? How did they die?"
"Nothing special about them. They were in their middle
years, and their throats had been cut-save for one fellow who got it in the
guts."
"Strange. Yes, it is good that we are leaving soon. We have enough
problems of our own without getting involved in the local ones."
"Agreed. So let us be off to bed."
"You
go ahead. I am not quite ready yet."
"Take
your own advice and get some rest," he said, turning back toward the
manor. "Don't sit up and worry."
"I
won't."
"Good
night, then."
"See
you in the morning."
I watched
him return along the path. He was right, of course, but I was not yet ready to
surrender my consciousness. I went over my plans again,
to be certain there was nothing I was overlooking, finished my drink and set
the glass on the bench. I rose then and strolled, trailing wisps of tobacco
smoke about me. There was a bit of moonlight from over my shoulder and dawn was
still a few hours' distant, as I reckoned it. I was firm in my resolve to spend
the rest of the night out of doors, and I thought to find me a good place to
sack out.
Of course,
I eventually wandered down the path and into the grove of saplings. A little
poking around showed me that there had been some recent digging, but I was in
no mood to exhume bodies by moonlight and was perfectly willing to take
Ganelon's word as to what he had found there. I am not even certain why I went
there. Morbid streak, I guess. I did decide against sleeping in the vicinity,
though.
I made my
way into the northwest corner of the garden, finding an area that was out of
line of sight from the manor. There were high hedgerows and the grass was long,
soft, and sweet-smelling. I spead my cloak, sat down upon it, and pulled off my
boots. I put my feet down into the cool grass and sighed.
Not too
much longer, I decided. Shadows to diamonds to guns to Amber.
I was on my way. A year ago I had been rotting in a cell, crossing and
recrossing the line between sanity and madness so many times that I had all but
rubbed it out. Now I was free, strong, sighted, and had a plan. Now I was a
threat seeking fulfillment once again, a deadlier threat than I had been
previously. This time I did not have my fortunes tied up with the plans of
another. Now I was responsible for my own success or failure.
The feeling
was good, as was the grass, as was the alcohol which had now seeped through my
system and warmed me with a pleasant flame. I cleaned my pipe, put it away,
stretched, yawned, and was about to recline.
I detected
a distant movement, propped myself on my elbows and watched for it again. I did
not have long to wait. A figure was passing slowly along the path, pausing
frequently, moving quietly. It vanished beneath the tree where Ganelon and I
had been sitting, and did not emerge again for a long while. Then it continued
on for several dozen paces, stopped and seemed to be staring in my direction.
Then it advanced toward me.
Passing
about a clump of shrubbery and emerging from the shadows, her face was suddenly
touched by the moonlight. Apparently aware of this, she smiled in my direction,
slowing as she came near, stopping when she stood before me.
She said,
"I take it your quarters are not to your liking, Lord Corwin."
"Not
at all," I said. "It is such a beautiful night that it appealed to
the outdoorsman in me."
"Something must have appealed to you last night, also," she
said, "despite the rain," and she seated herself beside me on my
cloak. "Did you sleep indoors or out?"
"I
spent it out," I said. "But I did not sleep. In fact, I have not
slept since I saw you last."
"Where
have you been?"
"Down
by the seaside, sifting sand."
"Sounds depressing."
"It
was."
"I
have been doing a lot of thinking, since we walked in Shadow."
"I
would imagine."
"I
have not done too much sleeping either. That was why I heard you come in, heard
you talking with Ganelon, knew you were out here
somewhere when he came back alone."
"You
were right."
"I
must get to Amber, you know. And walk the Pattern."
"I
know. You will."
"Soon, Corwin. Soon!"
"You
are young, Dara. There is plenty of time."
"Damn
it! I have been waiting all my life-without even knowing about it! Is there no
way I can go now?"
"No."
"Why not? You could take me on a quick journey through
shadows, take me to Amber, let me walk the
Pattern..."
"If we
are not slain immediately, we might be fortunate enough to be given adjoining
cells for a time-or racks-before we are executed."
"Whatever for? You are a Prince of the City. You have a
right to do as you please."
I laughed.
"I am
an outlaw, dear. If I return to Amber I will be executed, if I am lucky. Or something much worse if I am not. But seeing as how
things turned out last time, I should think they would kill me quickly. This
courtesy would doubtless also be extended to my companions."
"Oberon would not do such a thing."
"Given
sufficient provocation, I believe that he would. But the question does not
really arise. Oberon is no more, and my brother Eric sits on the throne and
calls himself liege."
"When
did this occur?"
"Several years ago, as time is measured in Amber."
"Why
would he want to kill you?"
"To keep me from killing him, of course."
"Would
you?"
"Yes,
and I will. Soon, too, I think."
She turned
to face me then.
"Why?"
"So that I can occupy the throne myself. It is rightly
mine, you see. Eric has usurped it. I am just recently escaped from torture and
several years' imprisonment at his hands. He made the mistake, however, of
allowing himself the luxury of keeping me alive so that he could contemplate my
wretchedness. He never thought that I would get free and return to challenge
him again. Neither did I, for that matter. But since I
have been fortunate enongh to obtain a second chance, I shall be careful not to
make the same mistake he did."
"But
he is your brother."
"Few
are more aware of that fact than he and I, I assure you."
"How
soon do you expect to accomplish-your objectives?"
"As I
said the other day, if you can get hold of the Trumps, contact me in about
three months. If you cannot, and things come about according to my plans, I
will get in touch with you fairly early in my reign. You should have your
chance to take the Pattern before another year passes."
"And
if you fail?"
"Then
you will have a longer wait ahead of you. Until Eric has assured the permanency
of his own reign, and until Benedict has acknowledged him king. You see,
Benedict is not willing to do this. He has remained away from Amber for a long
while, and for all Eric knows, he is no longer among the living. Should he put
in an appearance now, he is going to have to take a position either for or
against Eric. Should he come out for him, then the continuance of Eric's reign
will be assured-and Benedict does not want to be responsible for that. Should
he come out against him, there will be strife-and he does not want to be
responsible for that either. He has no desire for the crown himself. Only by
remaining out of the picture entirely can he assure the measure of tranquility
that does prevail. Were he to appear and refuse to take either position, he
could possibly get away with it, but it would be tantamount to denying Eric's
kingship and would still lead to trouble. Were he to appear with you, he would
be surrendering his will, for Eric would put pressure on him through you."
"Then
if you lose I might never get to Amber!"
"I am
only describing the situation as I see it. There are doubtless many factors of
which I am unaware. I have been out of circulation for a long while."
"You
must win!" she said. Then, suddenly, "Would Grandpa support
you?"
"I
doubt it. But the situation would be quite different. I am aware of his
existence, and of yours. I will not ask his support. So long as he does not
oppose me, I will be satisfied. And if I am quick, efficient, and successful,
he will not oppose me. He will not like my having found out about you, but when
he sees that I mean you no harm all will be well on that count."
"Why
would you not use me? It seems the logical thing to do."
"It
is. But I've discovered I like you," I said, "so that's out of the
question." She laughed.
"I've
charmed you!" she said. I chuckled.
"In your own delicate way, at sword's point, yes."
Abruptly,
she sobered.
"Grandpa is coming back tomorrow," she said. "Did your
man Ganelon tell you?"
"Yes."
"How
does that affect whatever you are about?"
"I
intend to be hell and gone out of here before he returns."
"What
will he do?"
"The
first thing that he will do will be to get very angry with you for being here.
Then he will want to know how you managed your return and how much you have
told me about yourself."
"What
should I tell him?"
"Tell
him the truth about how you got back. That will give him something to think
about. As to your status, your woman's intuition cautioned you concerning my
trustworthiness, and you took the same line with me as you did with Julian and
Gerard. As to my whereabouts, Ganelon and I borrowed a wagon and headed into
town, saying that we would not be back until quite late."
"Where
will you really be going?"
"Into town, briefly. But we will not be coming back. I
want as much of a head start as possible because he can track me through
Shadow, up to a point."
"I
will delay him as best I can for you. Were you not going to see me before you
left?"
"I was
going to have this talk with you in the morning. You got it ahead of time by
being restless."
"Then
I am glad that I was-restless. How are you going to conquer Amber?"
I shook my
head. "No, dear Dara. All scheming princes must
keep a few small secrets. That's one of mine."
"I am
surprised to learn there is so much distrust and plotting in Amber."
"Why? The same conflicts exist
everywhere, in various forms. They are all about you, always, for all places
take their form from Amber."
"It is
difficult to understand. . ."
"One
day you will. Leave it at that for now."
"Then
tell me another thing. Since I am able to negotiate shadows somewhat, even
without having taken the Pattern, tell me more precisely how you go about it. I
want to get better at it."
"No!" I said. "I will not have you fooling with Shadow
until you are ready. It is dangerous even after you have taken the Pattern. To
do it before is foolhardy. You were lucky, but do not try it again. I'll even
help, by not telling you anything more about it."
"All
right!" she said. "Sorry. I guess I can wait"
"I
guess you can. No hard feelings?"
"No.
Well-" She laughed. "They wouldn't do me any good, I guess. You must
know what you are talking about. I am glad that you care what happens to
me."
I grunted,
and she reached out and touched my cheek. At this, I turned my head again and
her face was moving slowly toward my own, smile gone and lips parting, eyes
almost closed. As we kissed, I felt her arms slide about my neck and shoulders
and mine found their way into a similar position around her. My surprise was
lost in the sweetness, gave way to warmth and a certain excitement.
If Benedict
ever found out, he was going to be more than just irritated with me...
Chapter 7
The wagon
creaked, monotonously, and the sun was already well into the west, though it
still poured hot streams of daylight upon us. Back among the cases, Ganelon
snored, and I envied him his noisy occupation. He had been sleeping for several
hours, and this was my third day without rest.
We were
perhaps fifteen miles out of the city, and heading into the northeast. Doyle
had not had my order completely ready, but Ganelon and I had persuaded him to
close up his shop and accelerate its production. This involved several
additional hours' curse-worthy delay. I had been too keyed-up to sleep then and
was unable to do so now, as I was edging my way through shadows.
I forced
back the fatigue and the evening and found some clouds to shade me. We moved
along a dry, deeply rutted, clay road. It was an ugly shade of yellow, and it
cracked and crumbled as we went. Brown grasses hung limply on either side of
the way, and the trees were short, twisted things, their barks thick and
shaggy. We passed numerous outcrops of shale.
I had paid
Doyle well for his compounds, and had also purchased a handsome bracelet to be
delivered to Dara the following day. My diamonds were at my belt, Grayswandir
near to my hand. Star and Firedrake walked steadily, strongly. I was on my way
to having it made.
I wondered
whether Benedict had returned home yet. I wondered how long he would remain
deceived as to my whereabouts. I was by no means out of danger from him. He
could follow a trail for a great distance through Shadow, and I was leaving him
a good one. I had little choice in the matter, though. I needed the wagon, I
was stuck with our present speed, and I was in no condition to manage another
hellride. I handled the shifts slowly and carefully, very conscious of my
dulled senses and growing weariness, counting on the gradual accumulation of
change and distance to build up a barrier between Benedict and myself, hoping
that it would soon become an impenetrable one.
I found my
way from late afternoon back to noontide within the next two miles, but kept it
a cloudy
I was
fighting back drowsiness by then, and the temptation was great to awaken
Ganelon and simply add more miles to our distance by letting him drive while I
slept. But I was afraid to try it this early in the journey. There were still
too many things to do.
I wanted more daylight, but I also wanted a
better road, and I was sick of that goddamned yellow clay, and I had to do
something about those clouds, and I had to keep in mind where we were headed. .
. .
I rubbed my
eyes, I took several deep breaths. Things were starting to jump around inside
my head, and the steady clop-clop of the horses' hoofs and the creaking of the
wagon were starting to have a soporific effect. I was already numb to the
jolting and the swaying. The reins hung loosely in my hands, and I had already
nodded and let them slip once. Fortunately, the horses seemed to have a good
idea as to what was expected of them.
After a
time, we mounted a long, easy slope that led down into mid-morning. By then,
the sky was quite dark, and it took several miles and half a dozen twistings of
the road to dissipate the cloud cover somewhat. A storm could turn our way into
a river of mud quite quickly. I winced at the thought, let the sky alone and
concentrated on the road once more.
We came to a
dilapidated bridge leading across a dry stream bed. On its other side, the road
was smoother, less yellow. As we proceeded, it grew darker, flatter, harder,
and the grass came green beside it. By then, though, it had begun raining.
I fought
with this for a time, determined not to surrender my grass and the dark, easy
road. My head ached, but the shower ended within a quarter of a mile and the
sun came out once more. The sun. . . oh yes, the sun.
We rattled
on, finally coming to a dip in the road that kept twisting its way down among
brighter trees. We descended into a cool valley, where we eventually crossed
another small bridge, this one with a narrow band of water drifting along the
middle of the bed beneath it. I had wrapped the reins about my wrist by then,
because I kept nodding. As from a great distance, I focused my concentration,
straightening, sorting...
Birds
queried the day, tentatively, from within the woods to my right. Glistening
droplets of dew clung to the grass, the leaves. A chill came into the air, and
the rays of the morning sun slanted down through the trees...
But my body was not fooled by the awakening within this shadow, and
I was relieved finally to hear Ganelon stir and curse. If he had not
come around before much longer I would have had to awaken him.
Good
enough. I tugged gently on the reins and the horses got the idea and halted. I
put on the brake, as we were still on an incline, and located a water bottle.
"Here!" said Ganelon, as I drank. "Leave a drop for
me!" I passed the bottle back to him.
"You
are taking over now," I told him. "I have to get some sleep."
He drank
for half a minute, then let out an explosive
exhalation.
"Right," he said, swinging himself over the edge of the wagon
and down. "But bide a moment. Nature summons."
He stepped
off the road, and I crawled back onto the bed of the wagon and stretched out
where he had lain, folding my cloak into a pillow.
Moments
later, I heard him climb onto the driver's seat, and there was a jolt as he
released the brake. I heard him cluck his tongue and snap the reins lightly.
"Is it
morning?" he called back to me.
"Yes."
"God! I've slept all day and all night!"
I chuckled.
"No. I
did a little shadow-shifting," I said. "You only slept six or seven
hours."
"I
don't understand. But never mind, I believe you. Where are we now?"
"Still
heading northeast," I said, "around twenty miles out of the city and
maybe a dozen or so from Benedict's place. We have moved through Shadow,
also."
"What
am I to do now?"
"Just
keep following the road. We need the distance."
"Could
Benedict still reach us?"
"I
think so. That's why we can't give the horses their rest yet."
"All right. Is there anything special I should be alert
for?"
"No."
"When
should I raise you?"
"Never."
He was
silent then, and as I waited for my consciouness to be consumed, I thought of
Dara, of course. I had been thinking of her on and off all day.
The thing
had been quite unpremeditated on my part. I had not even thought of her as a
woman until she came into my arms and revised my thinking on the subject. A
moment later, and my spinal nerves took over, reducing much of what passes for
cerebration down to its basics, as Freud had once said to me. I could not blame
it on the alcohol, as I had not had that much and it had not affected me
especially. Why did I want to blame it on anything? Because I felt somewhat
guilty, that was why. She was too distant a relation for me to really think of
her as one. That was not it. I did not feel I had taken unfair advantage of
her, for she had known what she was doing when she came looking for me. It was
the circumstances that made me question my own motives, even in the midst of
things. I had wanted to do more than simply win her confidence and a measure of
friendship when I had first spoken with her and taken her on that walk into
Shadow. I was trying to alienate some of her loyalty, trust, and affection from
Benedict and transfer it to myself. I had wanted her on my side, as a possible
ally in what might become an enemy camp. I had hoped to be able to use her,
should the need arise when the going got rough. All this was true. But I did
not want to believe that I had had her as I did just to further this end. I
suspected there was some truth to it, though, and it made me feel uncomfortable
and more than a little ignoble. Why? I had done plenty of things in my time
that many would consider much worse, and I was not especially troubled by
these. I wrestled with it, not liking to admit it but already knowing the
answer. I cared for the girl. It was as simple as that. It was different from
the friendship I had felt for
Ganelon
hummed some bawdy tune, badly. The wagon jounced and creaked, took a turn
uphill. The sun fell upon my face, and I covered my eyes with my forearm.
Somewhere thereabout, oblivion fixed its grip and squeezed.
When I
awoke, it was past
There was
greenery about us, small stands of trees and open spaces where tall grasses
grew. It was still a dirt road that we traveled, hard-packed and fairly smooth.
The sky was clear, but for a few small clouds, and shade alternated with
sunlight fairly regularly. There was a light breeze.
"Back among the living. Good!" said Ganelon, as I
climbed over the front wall and took a seat beside him.
"The
horses are getting tired, Corwin, and I'd like to stretch my legs a bit,"
he said. "I'm also getting very hungry. Aren't you?"
"Yes.
Pull off into that shady place to the left and we'll stop awhile."
"I
would like to go on a bit farther than that," he said.
"For any special reason?"
"Yes.
I want to show you something."
"Go
ahead."
We clopped
along for perhaps a half a mile, then came to a bend
in the road that took us in a more northerly direction. Before very long we
came to a hill, and when we had mounted it there was another hill, leading even
higher.
"How
much farther do you want to go?" I said.
"Let's
take this next hill," he replied. "We might be able to see it from up
there."
"All right."
The horses
strained against the steepness of that second hill, and I got out and pushed
from behind. When we finally reached the top, I felt even grimier from the
mixture of sweat and dust, but I was fully awake once more. Ganelon reined in
the horses and put on the brake. He climbed back in the wagon and up onto a
crate then. He stood, facing to the left, and shaded his eyes.
"Come
up here, Corwin," he called.
I climbed
over the tailgate and he squatted and extended a hand. I took it, and he helped
me up onto the crate, where I stood beside him. He pointed, and I followed the
gesture.
Perhaps
three-quarters of a mile distant, running from left to right for as far as I
could see, was a wide, black band. We were several hundred yards higher than
the thing and had a decent view of, I would say, half a mile of its length. It
was several hundred feet across, and though it curved and turned twice that I
could see, its width appeared to remain constant. There were trees within it,
and they were totally black. There seemed to be some movement. I could not say
what it was. Perhaps it was only the wind rippling the black grassses near its
edge. But there was also a definite sensation of flowing within it, like
currents in a flat, dark river.
"What
is it?" I said.
"I
thought perhaps you could tell me," Ganelon replied. "I had thought
it a part of your shadow-sorceries."
I shook my
head slowly.
"I was
quite drowsy, but I would remember if I had arranged for anything that strange
to occur. How did you know it was there?"
"We
skirted it several times as you slept, then edged away again. I did not like
the feeling at all. It was a very familiar one. Does it not remind you of
something?"
"Yes.
Yes, it does. Unfortunately."
He nodded.
"It's
like that damned Circle back in
"The
black road. . ." I said.
"What?"
"The
black road," I repeated. "I did not know what she was referring to
when she mentioned it, but now I begin to understand. This is not good at
all."
"Another ill omen?" "I am afraid so."
He cursed,
then, "Will it cause us any immediate trouble?" he asked.
"I
don't believe so, but I am not certain."
He climbed
down from the crate and I followed.
"Let's
find some forage for the horses then," he said, "and tend to our own bellies as well."
"Yes."
We moved
forward and he took the reins. We found a good spot at the foot of the hill.
We tarried
there for the better part of an hour, talking mainly of Avalon. We did not
speak again of the black road, though I thought of it quite a bit. I had to get
a closer look at the thing, of course.
When we
were ready to move on, I took the reins again. The horses, somewhat refreshed,
moved out at a good pace.
Ganelon sat
beside me on the left, still in a talkative mood. I was only just then
beginning to realize how much this strange homecoming had meant to him. He had
revisited many of his old haunts from the days of his outlawry, as well as four
battlefields where he had distinguished himself greatly after he had achieved
respectability. I was in many ways moved by his reminiscences. An unusual mixture of gold and clay, this man. He should
have been an Amberite.
The miles
slid by quickly and we were drawing near to the black road again when I felt a
familiar mental jab. I passed the reins to Ganelon.
"Take
them!" I said. "Drive!"
"What
is it?"
"Later! Just drive!"
"Should I hurry?"
"No.
Keep it normal. Don't say anything for a while."
I closed my
eyes and rested my head in my hands, emptying my mind and building a wall
around the emptiness. No one home. Out
to lunch. No solicitors. This property is vacant. Do not disturb.
Trespassers will be prosecuted. Beware of dog. Falling rock.
Slippery when wet. To be razed for urban renewal . . .
It eased, then came on again, hard, and I blocked it again. There
followed a third wave. I stopped that one, too.
Then it was
gone.
I sighed,
massaged my eyeballs.
"It's
all right now," I said.
"What
happened?"
"Someone tried to reach me by a very special means. It was almost
certainly Benedict. He must just now have found out any of a number of things
that could make him want to stop us. I'll take the reins again now. I fear he
will be on our trail soon."
Ganelon
handed them over.
"What
are our chances of escaping him?"
"Pretty fair now. I'd say, that we've got more distance
behind us. I am going to shuffle some more shadows as soon as my head stops
spinning."
I guided us
on, and our way twisted and wound, paralleling that black road for a time, then heading in closer to it. Finally, we were only a few
hundred yards away from it.
Ganelon
studied it in silence for a long while, then said, "It reminds me too much
of that other place. The little tongues of mist that lick
about things, the feeling that something is always moving just at the corner of
your eye. . ."
I bit my
lip. I began to perspire heavily. I was trying to shift away from the thing now
and there was some sort of resistance. It was not the same feeling of
monolithic immovability as occurs when you try to move through Shadow in Amber.
It was altogether different. It was a feeling of inescapability.
We moved
through Shadow all right. The sun drifted higher in the heavens, heading back
toward noonday-for I did not relish the thought of nightfall beside that black
strip-and the sky lost something of its blue and the trees shot higher about us
and mountains appeared in the distance.
Was it that the road cut through Shadow itself?
It must.
Why else would Julian and Gerard have located it and been sufficiently
intrigued to explore the thing?
It was
unfortunate, but I feared we had much in common, that road and I. Damn it!
We moved
beside it for a long while, gradually moving closer together, also. Soon, only
about a hundred feet separated us. Fifty. ..
. . . And,
as I had felt they eventually must, our paths finally intersected.
I drew rein. I packed my pipe and lit it, smoked as I
studied the thing. Star and Firedrake obviously did not approve of the black
area that cut across our way. They had whinnied and tried to pull off to the
side.
It was a
long, diagonal cut across the black place if we wanted to keep to the road.
Also, part of the terrain was hidden from our sight by a series of low, stone
hills. There were heavy grasses at the edge of the black and patches of it,
here and there, about the foot of the hills. Bits of mist scudded among them
and faint, vaporous clouds hovered in all the hollows. The sky, seen through
the atmosphere that hung about the place, was several shades darker, with a
smeared, sooty tone to it. A silence that was not the same as stillnesss lay
upon it, almost as though some unseen entity were poised, holding its breath.
Then we
heard a scream. It was a girl's voice. The old lady in
distress trick?
It came
from somewhere to the right, beyond those hills. It smelled fishy. But hell! It
could be real.
I tossed
the reins to Ganelon and jumped to the ground, taking Grayswandir into my hand.
"I'm
going to investigate," I said, moving off to the right and leaping the
gulley that ran beside the road.
"Hurry
back."
I plowed
through some brush and scrambled up a rocky slope. I pushed my way through more
shrubbery on its down side and mounted another, higher slope. The scream came
again as I was climbing it, and this time I heard other sounds as well.
Then I reached
the top and was able to see for a good distance.
The black
area began about forty feet below me, and the scene I sought was laid about a
hundred-fifty feet within it.
It was a
monochromatic sight, save for the flames. A woman, all in white, black hair
hanging loose, down to her waist, was bound to one of those dark trees,
smoldering branches heaped around her feet. Half a dozen hairy, albino men,
almost completely naked and continuing the process of undressing as they moved,
shuffled about, muttering and chuckling, poking at the woman and the fire with
sticks that they carried and clutching at their loins repeatedly. The flames
were high enough now to singe the woman's garments, causing them to smolder.
Her long dress was sufficiently torn and disarrayed so that I could see she
possessed a lovely, voluptuous form, though the smoke wrapped her in such a
manner that I was unable to see her face.
I rushed
forward, entering the area of the black road, leaping over the long, twining
grasses, and charged into the group, beheading the nearest man and running
another through before they knew I was upon them. The others turned and flailed
at me with their sticks, shouting as they swung them.
Grayswandir
ate off big chunks of them, until they fell apart and were silent. Their juices
were black.
I turned,
holding my breath, and kicked away the front of the fire. Then I moved in close
to the lady and cut her bonds. She fell into my arms, sobbing.
It was only
then that I noticed her face-or, rather, her lack of one. She wore a full,
ivory mask, oval and curving, featureless, save for two tiny rectangular
grilles for her eyes.
I drew her
away from the smoke and the gore. She clung to me, breathing heavily, thrusting
her entire body against me. After what seemed an appropriate period of time, I
attempted to disentangle myself. But she would not release me, and she was
surprisingly strong.
"It is
all right now," I said, or something equally trite and apt, but she did
not reply.
She kept shifting
her grip upon my body, with rough caressing movements and a rather
disconcerting effect. Her desirability was enhanced, from instant to instant. I
found myself stroking her hair, and the rest of her as well.
"It is
all right now," I repeated. "Who are you? Why were they burning you?
Who were they?"
But she did
not reply. She had stopped sobbing, but her breathing was still heavy, although
in a different way.
"Why
do you wear this mask?"
I reached
for it and she jerked her head back.
This did
not seem especially important, though. While some cold, logical part of me knew
that the passion was irrational, I was as powerless as the gods of the
Epicureans. I wanted her and I was ready to have her.
Then I
heard Ganelon cry out my name and I tried to turn in that direction.
But she
restrained me. I was amazed at her strength.
"Child
of Amber," came her half-familiar voice. "We
owe you this for what you have given us, and we will have all of you now."
Ganelon's
voice came to me again, a steady stream of profanities.
I exerted
all my strength against that grip and it weakened. My hand shot forward and I
tore away the mask.
There came
a brief cry of anger as I freed myself, and four final, fading words as the
mask came away:
"Amber
must be destroyed!"
There was
no face behind the mask. There was nothing there at all.
Her garment
collapsed and hung limply over my arm. She-or it-had vanished.
Turning
quickly, I saw that Ganelon was sprawled at the edge of the black, his legs
twisted unnaturally. His blade rose and fell slowly, but I could not see at
what he was striking. I ran toward him.
The black
grasses, over which I had leaped, were twined about his ankles and legs. Even
as he hacked at them, others lashed about as though seeking to capture his
sword arm. He had succeeded in partly freeing his right leg, and I leaned far
forward and managed to finish the job.
I moved to
a position behind him, out of reach of the grasses, and tossed away the mask,
which I just then realized I was still clutching. It fell to earth beyond the
edge of the black and immediately began to smolder.
Catching
him under the arms, I strove to drag Ganelon back. The stuff resisted fiercely,
but at last I tore him free. I carried him then, leaping over the remaining
dark grasses that separated us from the more docile, green variety beyond the
road.
He regained his footing and continued to lean
heavily against me, bending forward and slapping at his leggings.
"They're numb," he said. "My legs are asleep." I
helped him back to the wagon. He transferred his grip to its side and began
stamping his feet.
"They're tingling," he announced. "It's starting to come
back. . . . Oow!"
Finally, he
limped to the front of the wagon. I helped him climb onto the seat and followed
him up. He sighed.
"That's better," he said. "They're coming along now. That
stuff just sucked the strength out of them. Out of the rest
of me, too. What happened?"
"Our
bad omen made good on its promise."
"What
now?" I picked up the reins and released the brake.
"We go
across," I said. "I have to find out more about this thing. Keep your
blade handy."
He granted
and laid the weapon across his knees. The horses did not like the idea of going
on, but I flicked their flanks lightly with the whip and they began to move.
We entered
the black area, and it was like riding into a World War II newsreel. Remote
though near at hand, stark, depressing, grim. Even the creaking and the hoof
falls were somehow muffled, made to seem more distant. A faint, persistent
ringing began in my ears. The grasses beside the road stirred as we passed,
though I kept well away from them. We passed through several patches of mist.
They were odorless, but our breathing grew labored on each occasion. As we
neared the first hill, I began the shift that would take us through Shadow.
We rounded
the hill.
Nothing.
The dark,
miasmal prospect was unaltered.
I grew
angry then. I drew the Pattern from memory and held it blazing before my mind's
eye. I essayed the shift once more.
Immediately, my head began to ache. A pain shot from my forehead to the
back of my skull and hung there like a hot wire. But this only fanned my anger
and caused me to try even harder to shift the black road into nothingness.
Things
wavered. The mists thickened, rolled across the road in billows. Outlines grew
indistinct. I shook the reins. The horses moved faster. My head began to throb,
felt as if it were about to come apart. Instead, momentarily, everything else
did. . . .
The ground
shook, cracking in places, but it was more than just that. Everything seemed to
undergo a spasmodic shudder, and the cracking was more than mere fracture lines
in the ground.
It was as
though someone had suddenly kicked the leg of a table on which a loosely
assembled jigsaw puzzle lay. Gaps appeared in the entire prospect: here, a
green bough; there, a sparkle of water, a glimpse of blue sky, absolute
blackness, white nothingness, the front of a brick building, faces behind a
window, fire, a piece of star-filled sky . . .
The horses
were galloping by then, and I had all I could do to keep from screaming for the
pain.
A babble of mixed noises-animal, human, mechanical-washed over us.
It seemed that I could hear Ganelon cursing, but I could not be certain.
I thought
that I would pass out from the pain, but I determined, out of sheer
stubbornness and anger, to persist until I did. I concentrated on the Pattern
as a dying man might cry out to his God, and I threw my entire will against the
existence of the black road.
Then the
pressure was off and the horses were plunging wildly, dragging us into a green
field. Ganelon snatched at the reins, but I drew on them myself and shouted to
the horses until they halted. We had crossed the black road.
I turned
immediately and looked back. The scene had the wavering quality of something
seen through troubled waters. Our path through it stood clean and steady,
however, like a bridge or a dam, and the grasses at its edge were green.
"That
was worse," Ganelon said, "than the ride you took me on when you
exiled me."
"I
think so, too," I said, and I spoke to the horses, gently, finally
persuading them to return to the dirt road and continue on along it.
The world
was brighter here, and the trees that we soon moved among were great pines. The
air was fresh with their fragrance. Squirrels and birds moved within them. The
soil was darker, richer. We seemed to be at a higher altitude than we had been
before the crossing. It pleased me that we had indeed shifted-and in the
direction I had desired.
Our way curved,
ran back a bit, straightened. Every now and then we caught a glimpse of the
black road. It was not too far off to our right. We were still running roughly
parallel to it. The thing definitely cut through Shadow. From what we saw of
it, it appeared to have settled back down to being its normal, sinister self
once more.
My headache
faded and my heart grew somewhat lighter. We achieved higher ground and a
pleasant view over a large area of hills and forest, reminding me of parts of
I
stretched; then, "How are your legs now?" I asked.
"All
right," Ganelon said, looking back along our trail. "I can see for a
great distance, Corwin..."
"Yes?"
"I see
a horseman, coming very fast."
I stood and
turned. I think I might have groaned as I dropped back into the seat and shook
the reins.
He was
still too far off to tell for certain-on the other side of the black road. But
who else could it be, pushing along at that speed on our trail? I cursed then.
We were
nearing the crest of the rise. I turned to Ganelon and said, "Get ready
for another hellride."
"It's
Benedict?"
"I
think so. We lost too much time back there. He can move awfully fast-especially
through Shadow-all alone like that."
"Do
you think you can still lose him?"
"We'll
find out," I said. "Real soon now."
I clucked
to the horses and shook the reins again. We reached the top and a blast of icy
air struck us. We leveled off and the shadow of a boulder to our left darkened
the sky. When we had passed it, the darkness remained and crystals of
fine-textured snow stung our faces and hands.
Within a
few moments, we were heading downward once more and the snowfall became a
blinding blizzard. The wind screamed in our ears and the wagon rattled and
skidded. I leveled us quickly. There were drifts all about by then and the road
was white. Our breath fumed and ice glistened on trees and rocks.
Motion and temporary bafflement of the senses. That was what
it took. ...
We raced
on, and the wind slammed and bit and cried out. Drifts began to cover the road.
We rounded
a bend and emerged from the storm. The world was still a glazed-over thing and
an occasional flake flitted by, but the sun pulled free of the clouds, pouring
light upon the land, and we headed downward once more. . . .
. . .
Passing through a fog and emerging in a barren, though snowless waste of rock
and pitted land. . . .
. . . We
bore to the right, regained the sun, followed a twisted
course on a level plain, winding among tall, featureless stands of blue-gray
stone. . . .
. . . Where
far off to our right the black road paced as.
Waves of
heat washed over us and the land steamed. Bubbles popped in boiling stews that
filled the craters, adding their fumes to the dank air. Shallow puddles lay
like a handful of old, bronze coins.
The horses
raced, half-maddened now, as geysers began to erupt along the trail. Scalding
waters spewed across the roadway, narrowly missing us, running in steaming,
slick sheets. The sky was brass and the sun was a mushy apple. The wind was a
panting dog with bad breath.
The ground trembled, and far off to our left a mountain blew its top
toward the heavens and buried fires after it. An ear-splitting crash
temporarily deafened us and concussion waves kept beating against our bodies.
The wagon swayed and shimmied.
The ground
continued to shake and the winds slammed us with near-hurricane force as we
rushed toward a row of black-topped hills. We left what there was of a roadway
when it turned in the wrong direction and headed, bumping and shuddering,
across the plain itself. The hills continued to grow, dancing in the troubled
air.
I turned
when I felt Ganelon's hand on my arm. He was shouting something, but I could
not hear him. Then he pointed back and I followed his gesture. I saw nothing
that I had not expected to see. The air was turbulent, filled with dust,
debris, ashes. I shrugged and returned my attention to the hills.
A greater darkness
occurred at the base of the nearest hill. I made for it.
It grew
before me as the ground slanted downward once more, an enormous cavern mouth,
curtained by a steady fall of dust and gravel.
I cracked
the whip in the air and we raced across the final five or six hundred yards and
plunged into it.
I began
slowing the horses immediately, letting them relax into a walk.
We
continued to move downward, turned a corner, and came into a wide, high grotto.
Light leaked down from holes high above, dappling stalactites and falling upon
quivering green pools. The ground continued to shake, and my hearing took a
turn for the better as I saw a massive stalagmite crumble and heard the faint
tinkle of its fall.
We crossed
a black-bottomed chasm on a bridge that might have been limestone, which
shattered behind us and vanished.
Bits of
rock rained down from overhead and sometimes large stones fell. Patches of
green and red fungus glowed in corners and cracks,
streaks of minerals sparkled and bent, large crystals and flat flowers of pale
stone added to the moist, eerie beauty of the place. We wheeled through caverns
like chains of bubbles and coursed a white-chested torrent until it vanished
into a black hole.
A long,
corkscrew gallery took us upward once more, and I heard Ganelon's voice, faint
and echoing, "I thought that I glimpsed movement-that might be a rider-at
the crest of the mountain--just for an instant-back there." We moved into
a slightly brighter chamber.
"If it
was Benedict, he's got a hard act to follow," I shouted, and there came
the tremors and muffled crashings as more things collapsed behind us.
We
proceeded onward and upward, until finally openings began to occur overhead,
giving upon patches of clear blue sky. The hoof clicks and the sounds of the
wagon gradually assumed a normal volume and their echoes came to us also. The
tremors ceased, small birds darted above us, and the
light increased in intensity.
Then
another twisting of the way, and our exit lay before
us, a wide, low opening onto day. We had to duck our heads as we passed beneath
the jagged lintel. We bounced up and over a jutting lip of moss-covered stone,
then looked upon a bed of gravel that lay like a scythed track upon the
hillside, passing among gigantic trees, vanishing within them, below. I made a
clicking noise with my tongue, encouraging the horses on their way.
"They
are very tired now," Ganelon remarked.
"I
know. Soon they will get to rest, one way or another."
The gravel
crunched beneath our wheels. The smell of the trees was good.
"Have
you noticed it? Down there, off to the right?"
"What
. . . ?" I began, turning my head. Then, "Oh," I finished.
The
infernal black road was with us still, perhaps a mile distant.
"How
many shadows does it cut across?" I mused.
"All
of them, it would seem," Ganelon suggested.
I shook my
head slowly. "I hope not," I said.
We
proceeded downward, beneath a blue sky and a golden sun westering in a normal
way.
"I was
almost afraid to come out of that cave," Ganelon said after a time.
"No telling what would be on this side."
"The
horses couldn't take much more. I had to let up. If that was Benedict we saw,
his horse had better be in very good condition. He was pushing it hard. Then to
have it face all that. . . . I think he would fall back."
"Maybe
it's used to it," Ganelon said, as we crunched around a bend to the right,
losing sight of the cave mouth.
"There
is always that possibility," I said, and I thought of Dara again,
wondering what she was doing at that moment.
We wove our
way steadily downward, shifting slowly and imperceptibly. Our trail kept
drifting to the right, and I cursed when I realized we were nearing the black
road.
"Damn!
It's as persistent as an insurance salesman!" I said, feeling my anger
turn to something like hatred. "When the time is right, I am going to
destroy that thing!"
Ganelon did
not reply. He was taking a long drink of water. He passed me the bottle and I
did, too.
At length,
we achieved level terrain, and the trail continued to twist and curve at the
least excuse. It allowed the horses to take it easy and it would slow a mounted
pursuer.
About an
hour later, I began to feel comfortable and we stopped to eat. We had just
about finished our meal when Ganelon-who had not removed his gaze from the
hillside-stood and shaded his eyes.
"No," I said, leaping to my feet. "I don't believe
it."
A lone
rider had emerged from the mouth of the cave. I watched as he halted for a
moment, then continued on down the trail.
"What
do we do now?" Ganelon asked.
"Let's
pick up our stuff and get moving again. We can at least delay the inevitable a
little longer. I want more time to think."
We rolled
once more, still moving at a moderate pace, though my mind was racing at full
speed. There had to be a way to stop him. Preferably, without
killing him.
But I
couldn't think of any.
Except for
the black road, which was edging nearer once more, we had come into a lovely
afternoon in a beautiful place. It was a shame to dampen it with blood,
particularly if it might be my blood. Even with his blade in his left hand, I
was afraid to face him. Ganelon would be of no use to me. Benedict would barely
notice him.
I shifted
as we took another turning. Moments later, a faint smell of smoke came to my
nostrils. I shifted slightly again.
"He's
coming fast!" Ganelon announced. "I just saw-There's
smoke! Flames! The woods are on fire!"
I laughed
and looked back. Half the hillside swam under smoke and an orange thing raced
through the green, its crackling just then reaching my ears. Of their own
accord, the horses increased their pace.
"Corwin! Did you-?"
"Yes!
If it were steeper and there were no trees, I'd have
tried an avalanche."
The air was
momentarily filled with birds. We drew nearer the black way. Firedrake tossed
his head and whinnied. There were flecks of foam on his muzzle. He tried to
bolt, then reared and pawed the air. Star made a frightened noise and pulled to
the right. I fought a moment, regained control, decided to let them run a bit.
"He's
still coming!" cried Ganelon.
I cursed
and we ran. Eventually, our path brought us alongside the black road. We were
on a long straightaway, and a glance back showed me that the whole hillside was
ablaze, the trail running like a nasty scar down its middle. It was then that I
saw the rider. He was almost halfway down and moving like something in the
Kentucky Derby. God! What a horse that had to be! I wondered what shadow had
borne him.
I drew on
the reins, gently at first, then harder, until finally we began to slow. We
were only a few hundred feet from the black road by then, and I had seen to it
that there was a place not too far ahead where the gap narrowed to thirty or
forty. I managed to rein in the horses when we reached it, and they stood there
quivering. I handed the reins to Ganelon, drew Grayswandir, and stepped down to
the road.
Why not? It
was a good, clear, level area, and perhaps that black, blasted slice of land,
contrasting with the colors of life and growth immediately beside it, appealed
to some morbid instinct in me.
"What
now?" Ganelon asked.
"We
cannot shake him," I said, "and if he makes it through the fire he
will be here in a few minutes. There is no sense to running any farther. I'll
meet him here."
Ganelon
twisted the reins around a side bar and leached for his blade.
"No," I said. "You cannot
affect the outcome one way or the other. Here is what I want you to do: Take
the wagon on up the road and wait there with it. If things are resolved to my
satisfaction, we will be continuing on. If they are not, surrender immediately
to Benedict. It is me that he wants, and he will be the only one left who can
take you back to Avalon. He will do it, too. You will at least retire to your
homeland that way."
He
hesitated.
"Go
on," I told him. "Do as I said."
He looked down
at the ground. He unwound the reins. He looked at me.
"Good
luck," he said, and he shook the horses forward.
I backed
off the trail, moved to a position before a small stand of saplings, and
waited. I kept Grayswandir in my hand, glanced once at the black road, then fixed my eyes on the trail.
Before
long, he appeared up near the flame line, smoke and fire all about him, burning
branches falling. It was Benedict all right, his face partly muffled, the stump
of his right arm upraised to shield his eyes, coming like some ghastly escapee
from hell. Bursting through a shower
of sparks and cinders, he came into the clear and plunged on down the trail.
Soon, I
could hear the hoofbeats. A gentlemanly thing to do would be to sheathe my
blade while I waited. If I did that, though, I might not have a chance to draw
it again.
I found
myself wondering how Benedict would be wearing his blade and what sort it would
be. Straight? Curved? Long? Short? He could use them
all with equal facility. He had taught me how to fence. . . .
It might be
smart as well as gentlemanly to sheathe Grayswandir. He might be willing to
talk first-and this way I was asking for trouble. As the hoofbeats grew louder,
though, I realized I was afraid to put it away.
I wiped my
palm only once before he came into view. He had slowed for the turn, and he
must have seen me at the same instant I saw him. He rode straight toward me,
slowing. But halting did not appear to be his immediate aim.
It was
almost a mystical experience. I do not know how else to put it. My mind outran
time as he neared, and it was as though I had an eternity to ponder the
approach of this man who was my brother. His garments were filthy, his face
blackened, the stump of his right arm raised, gesturing anywhere. The great
beast that he rode was striped, black and red, with a wild red mane and tail.
But it really was a horse, and its eyes rolled and there was foam at its mouth
and its breathing was painful to hear. I saw then that he wore his blade slung
across his back, for its haft protruded high above his right shoulder. Still
slowing, eyes fixed upon me, he departed the road, bearing slightly toward my
left, jerked the reins once and released them, keeping control of the horse
with his knees. His left hand went up in a salute-like movement that passed
above his head and seized the hilt of his weapon. It came free without a sound,
describing a beautiful arc above him and coming to rest in a lethal position
out from his left shoulder and slanting back, like a single wing of dull steel
with a minuscule line of edge that gleamed like a filament of mirror. The
picture he presented was burned into my mind with a kind of magnificence, a
certain splendor that was strangely moving. The blade was a long, scythe like
affair that I had seen him use before. Only then we had stood as allies against
a mutual foe I had begun to believe unbeatable. Benedict had proved otherwise
that night. Now that I saw it raised against me I was overwhelmed with a sense
of my own mortality, which I had never experienced before in this fashion. It
was as though a layer had been stripped from the world and I had a sudden, full
understanding of death itself.
The moment
was gone. I backed into the grove. I had stood there so that I could take
advantage of the trees. I dropped back about twelve feet among them and took
two steps to my left. The horse reared at the last possible moment and snorted
and whinnied, moist nostrils flaring. It turned aside, tearing up turf.
Benedict's arm moved with near-invisible speed, like the tongue of a toad, and
his blade passed through a sapling I'd guess at three inches in diameter. The
tree continued to stand upright for a moment, then slowly toppled.
His boots
struck the earth and he strode toward me. I had wanted the grove for this
reason, also, to make him come to me in a place where a long blade would be
hampered by branches and boles.
But as he
advanced, he swung the weapon, almost casually, back and forth, and the trees
fell about him as he passed. If only he were not so infernally competent. If
only he were not Benedict. . . .
"Benedict," I said, in a normal voice, "she is an adult
now, and she is capable of making up her own mind about things."
But he gave
no sign of having heard me. He just kept coming, swinging that great blade from
side to side. It made an almost ringing sound as it passed through the air,
followed by a soft thukk! as it bit through another
tree, slowing only slightly. I raised Grayswandir to point at his breast.
"Come
no farther, Benedict," I said. "I do not wish to fight with
you."
He moved
his blade into an attack position and said one word:
"Murderer!"
His hand
twitched then and my blade was almost simultaneously beaten aside. I parried
the ensuing thrust and he brushed my riposte aside and was at me again.
This time I
did not even bother to riposte. I simply parried, retreated, and stepped behind
a tree.
"I
don't understand," I said, beating down his blade as it slid by the trunk
and nearly skewered me. "I have not murdered anyone recently. Certainly not in Avalon."
Another
thukk! and the tree was falling toward me. I got out
of its way and retreated, parrying.
"Murderer," he said again.
"I
don't know what you are talking about, Benedict."
"Liar!"
I stood my
ground then and held it. Damn it! It was senseless to die for the wrong reason!
I riposted as fast as I could, seeking openings everywhere. There were none.
"At
least tell me!" I shouted. "Please!"
But he
seemed to be finished with talking. He pressed forward and I had to fall back
once more. It was like trying to fence with a glacier. I became convinced then
that he was out of his mind, not that that helped me any. With anybody else, an
insane madness would cause the loss of some control in a fight. But Benedict
had hammered out his reflexes over the centuries, and I seriously believed that
the removal of his cerebral cortex would not have altered his movements from
their state of perfection.
He drove me
steadily back, and I dodged among trees and he cut them down and kept coming. I
made the mistake of attacking and barely stopped his counterthrusts inches from
my breast. I fought down the first wave of panic that came to me when I saw
that he was driving me back toward the edge of the grove. Soon he would have me
in the open, with no trees to slow him.
My
attention was focused on him so completely that I did not realize what was then
to occur until it did.
With a
mightly cry, Ganelon sprang from somewhere, wrapping his arms about Benedict
and pinning his sword arm to his side.
Even had I
really wanted to, though, I did not have the opportunity to kill him then. He
was too fast, and Ganelon was not aware of the man's strength.
Benedict
twisted to his right, interposing Ganelon between us, and at the same time
brought the stump of his arm around like a club, striking Ganelon in the left
temple. Then he pulled his left arm free, seized Ganelon by his belt, swept him
off his feet, and threw him at me. As I stepped aside, he retrived his blade
from where it had fallen near his feet and came at me again. I barely had time
to glance and see that Ganelon had landed in a heap some ten paces to my rear.
I parried
and resumed my retreat. I only had one trick remaining, and it saddened me that
if it failed Amber would be deprived of its rightful liege.
It is
somewhat more difficult to fence with a good left-hander than a good
right-hander, and this worked against me also. But I had to experiment a bit.
There was something I had to learn, even if it meant taking a chance.
I took a
long step back, moving momentarily out of range, then leaned forward and
attacked. It was a very calculated thing, and very fast.
One
unexpected result, which I am certain was at least partly luck, was that I got
through, even though I missed my target. For an instant, Grayswandir rode high
off one of his parries and nicked his left ear. This slowed him slightly for a
few moments, but not enough to matter. If anything, it served to strengthen his
defense. I continued to press my attack, but there was simply no getting
through then. It was only a small cut, but the blood ran down to his ear lobe
and spattered off, a few drops at a time. It could even be distracting, if I
permitted myself to do more than take note of it.
Then I did
what I feared, but had to try. I left him a small opening, just for a moment,
knowing that he would come right through it toward my heart.
He did, and
I parried it at the last instant. I do not like to think about how close he
came that time. Then I began to yield once more, giving ground, backing out of the grove. Parrying and retreating, I moved
past the spot where Ganelon lay. I fell back another fifteen feet or so,
fighting defensively, conservatively.
Then I gave
Benedict another opening.
He drove
in, as he had before, and I managed to stop him again. He pressed the attack
even harder after that, pushing me back to the edge of the black road.
There, I
stopped and held my ground, shifting my position to
the spot I had chosen. I would have to hold him just a few moments longer, to
set him up. . . .
They were
very rough moments, but I fought furiously and readied myself.
Then I gave
him the same opening again.
I knew he
would come in the same as before, and my right leg was across and back behind
my left, then straightening, as he did. I gave his blade but the barest beat to
the side as I sprang backward onto the black road, immediately extending my arm
full length to discourage a balaestra.
Then he did
what I had hoped. He beat at my blade and advanced normally when I dropped it
into quarte...
. . . causing him to step into the patch of black grasses over
which I had leaped.
I dared not
look down at first. I simply stood my ground and gave the flora a chance.
It only
took a few moments. Benedict became aware of it the next time that he tried to
move. I saw the puzzled expression flash across his face, then the strain. It
had him, I knew.
I doubted,
though, that it could hold him very long, so I moved immediately.
I danced to
the right, out of range of his blade, rushed forward and sprang across the
grasses, off the black road once again. He tried to turn, but they had twined
themselves about his legs all the way up to his knees. He swayed for a moment,
but retained his balance.
I passed
behind him and to his right. One easy thrust and he was a dead man, but of
course there was no reason to do it now.
He swung
his arm back behind his neck and turned his head, pointing the blade at me. He
began pulling his left leg free.
But I
feinted toward his right, and when he moved to parry it I slapped him across
the back of the neck with the flat of Grayswandir.
It stunned
him, and I was able to move in and punch him in the kidney with my left hand.
He bent slightly and I blocked his sword arm and struck him in the back of the
neck again, this time with my fist, hard. He fell, unconscious, and I removed
his blade from his hand and cast it aside. The blood from his left ear lobe
trailed down his neck like some exotic earring.
I put
Grayswandir aside, seized Benedict under the armpits, and dragged him back from
the black road. The grasses resisted mightily, but I strained against them and
finally had him free.
Ganelon had
gotten to his feet by then. He limped up and stood beside me, looking down at
Benedict.
"What
a fellow he is," he said. "What a fellow he is. . . . What are we
going to do with him?"
I picked
him up in a fireman's carry and stood.
"Take
him back toward the wagon right now," I said. "Will you bring the
blades?"
"All right."
I headed
up the road and Benedict remained unconscious-which was good, because I did not
want to have to hit him again if I could help it. I deposited him at the base
of a sturdy tree beside the road near the wagon.
I
resheathed our blades when Ganelon came up, and set him to stripping ropes from
several of the cases. While he did this, I searched Benedict and found what I
was looking for.
I bound him
to the tree then, while Ganelon fetched his horse. We tethered it to a nearby
bush, upon which I also hung his blade.
Then I
mounted to the driver's seat of the wagon and Ganelon came up alongside.
"Are
you just going to leave him there?" he asked.
"For
now," I said.
We moved on
up the road. I did not look back, but Ganelon did.
"He
hasn't moved yet," he reported. Then, "Nobody ever just took me and
threw me like that. With one hand yet."
"That's why I told you to wait with the wagon, and not to fight
with him if I lost."
"What
is to become of him now?"
"I
will see that he is taken care of, soon."
"He
will be all right, though?"
I nodded.
"Good."
We continued
on for perhaps two miles and I halted the horses. I climbed down.
"Don't
be upset by anything that happens," I said. "I am going to make
arrangements for Benedict now." I moved off the road and stood in the shade, taking out the deck of Trumps Benedict had been
carrying. I riffled through them, located Gerard, and removed him from the
pack. The rest I returned to the silk-lined, wooden case, inlaid with bone, in
which Benedict had carried them.
I held
Gerard's Trump before me and regarded it.
After a
time, it grew warm, real, seemed to stir. I felt Gerard's actual presence. He
was in Amber. He was walking down a street that I recognized. He looks a lot
like me, only larger, heavier. I saw that he still wore his beard.
He halted
and stared.
"Corwin!"
"Yes,
Gerard. You are looking well."
"Your eyes! You can see?"
"Yes,
I can see again."
"Where
are you?"
"Come
to me now and I will show you." His gaze tightened.
"I am
not certain that I can do that, Corwin. I am very involved just now."
"It is
Benedict," I said. "You are the only one I can trust to help
him."
"Benedict? He is in trouble?"
"Yes."
"Then
why does he not summon me himself?"
"He is
unable to. He is restrained."
"Why? How?"
"It is
too long and involved to go into now. Believe me, he
needs your help, right away."
He raked
his beard with his upper teeth. "And you cannot handle it yourself?"
"Absolutely not."
"And
you think I can?"
"I
know you can."
He loosened
his blade in its scabbard.
"I
would not like to think this is some sort of trick, Corwin."
"I
assure you it is not. With all the time I have had to think, I would have come
up wtih something a little more subtle."
He sighed.
Then he nodded. "All right. I'm coming to
you."
"Come
ahead."
He stood
for a moment, then took a step forward.
He stood
beside me. He reached out and clasped my shoulder. He smiled.
"Corwin," he said. "I'm glad you've your eyes back."
I looked
away.
"So am
I. So am I."
"Who
is that in the wagon?"
"A friend. His name is Ganelon."
"Where
is Benedict? What is the problem?" I gestured.
"Back
there," I said. "About two miles down the road. He is bound to a
tree. His horse is tethered near by."
"Then
why are you here?"
"I am
fleeing."
"From what?"
"Benedict. I'm the one who bound him."
He wrinkled
his brow. "I do not understand. . ."
I shook my
head.
"There
is a misunderstanding between us. I could not reason with him and we fought. I
knocked him unconscious and I tied him up. I cannot free him, or he would
attack me again. Neither can I leave him as he is. He may come to some harm
before he can free himself. So I summoned you. Please go to him, release him,
and see him home."
"What
will you be doing the while?"
"Getting the hell out of here, losing myself in Shadow.
You will be doing both of us a favor to keep him from trying to follow me
again. I do not want to have to fight him a second time."
"I
see. Now will you tell me what happened?"
"I am
not certain. He called me a murderer. I give you my word I slew no one the
whole time I was in Avalon. Please tell him I said that. I have no reason to
lie to you, and I swear that it is true. There is another matter which may have
disturbed him somewhat. If he mentions it, tell him that he will have to rely
on Dara's explanation."
"And
what is it?"
I shrugged.
"You
will know if he mentions it. If he does not, forget it."
"Dara,
you say?"
"Yes."
"Very
well, I shall do as you have asked. . . . Now, will you tell me how you managed
your escape from Amber?"
I smiled.
"Academic interest? Or do you feel you might have need of the route yourself one day?"
He
chuckled.
"It
strikes me as a handy piece of information to have."
"I
regret, dear brother, that the world is not yet ready for this knowledge. If I had
to tell anyone, I would tell you-but there is no way it could benefit you,
whereas its secrecy may serve me in the future."
"In
other words, you have a private way into and out of Amber. What are you
planning, Corwin?"
"What
do you think?"
"The answer is obvious. But my feelings
on the matter are mixed."
"Care
to tell me about them?"
He gestured
toward a section of the black road that was visible from where we stood.
"That
thing," he said. "It runs to the foot of Kolvir now. A variety of
menaces travel it to attack Amber. We defend, we are always victorious. But the
attacks grow stronger and they come more frequently. Now would not be a good
time for you to move, Corwin."
"Or it
might be the perfect time," I said.
"For you then, but not necessarily for Amber."
"How
has Eric been handling the situation?"
"Adequately. As I said, we are always victorious."
"I do
not mean the attacks. I mean the entire problem-its cause."
"I
have traveled the black road myself, going a great distance along it."
"And?"
"I was
unable to go the entire distance. You know how the shadows grow wilder and
stranger the farther you get from Amber?"
"Yes."
". . . Until the mind
itself is twisted and turned toward madness?"
"Yes."
". . .
And somewhere beyond this lie the Courts of Chaos. The road goes on, Corwin. I
am convinced that it runs the entire distance."
"Then
it is as I feared," I said.
"That
is why, whether I sympathize with you or not, I do not recommend the present
time for your efforts. The security of Amber must come before all else."
"I
see. Then there is nothing more to be said just now."
"And your plans?"
"Since
you do not know what they are, it is meaningless to tell you that they are
unchanged. But they are unchanged."
"I do
not know whether to wish you luck, but I wish you well. I am glad that you have
your sight back." He clasped my hand. "I had best get on to Benedict
now. I take it he is not badly hurt?"
"Not
by me. I only hit him a few times. Do not forget to give him my message."
"I
won't."
"And
take him back to Avalon."
"I
will try."
"Then good-by for now, Gerard."
"Good-by,
Corwin."
He turned
then and walked on down the road. I watched until he was out of sight before I
returned to the wagon. Then I replaced his Trump in the deck and continued on
my way to
Chapter 8
I stood on
the hilltop and looked down at the house. There was shrubbery all about me, so
I was not especially obtrusive.
I do not
really know what I expected to see. A burned-out shell?
A car in the driveway? A family scattered about the
redwood patio furniture? Armed guards?
I saw that
the roof could use some new slate, that the lawn had
long ago returned to a natural condition. I was surprised that I could see only
one broken window there in the rear.
So the
place was supposed to look deserted. I wondered.
I spread my
jacket on the ground and seated myself on it. I lit a cigarette. There were no
other houses for quite a distance.
I had
gotten close to seven hundred thousand dollars for the diamonds. It had taken
me a week and a half to make the deal. From
Arthur was
quite puzzled by the arrangement. A slight, white-haired man with a neat
mustache, ex-RAF officer, Oxonian, he had begun shaking his head after the
first two minutes and kept interrupting me with questions about delivery. While
he was no Sir Basil Zaharoff, he became genuinely concerned when a client's
ideas sounded too half-baked. It troubled him if something went sour too soon
after delivery. He seemed to think it reflected back on him in some way. For
this reason, he was often more helpful than the others when it came to
shipment. He was concerned about my plans for transportation because I did not
seem to have any.
What one
generally requires in an arrangement of this sort is an end-use certificate.
What it is, basically, is a document affirming that country X has ordered the
weapons in question. You need the thing in order to get an export permit from
the manufacturer's country. This keeps them looking honest, even if the
shipment should be reconsigned to country Y once it has crossed their border.
The customary thing to do is to buy the assistance of an ambassadorial
representative of country X-preferably one with relatives or friends connected
with the Defense Department back home-in order to get the papers. They come
high, and I believe Arthur had a list of all the going rates in his head.
"But
how are you going to ship them?" he had kept asking. "How will you
get them where you want them?"
"That," I said, "will be my problem. Let me worry about
it." But he kept shaking his head.
"It is
no good trying to cut corners that way, Colonel," he said. (I had been a
colonel to him since we had first met, some dozen years before. Why, I am not
certain.) "No good at all. Try to save a few dollars that way and you
might lose the whole shipment and wind up in real trouble. Now I can fix you up
through one of these young African nations quite reasonably-"
"No.
Just fix me up with the weapons."
During our
talk, Ganelon just sat there drinking beer, as red-bearded and sinister-looking
as ever, and nodding to everything that I said. As he spoke no English, he had
no idea as to the state of negotiations. Nor, for that matter, did he really
care. He followed my instructions, though, and spoke to me periodically in
Thari and we would chat briefly in that language about nothing in particular. Sheer perversity. Poor old Arthur was a good linguist and he
wanted to know the destination of the pieces. I could feel him straining to
identify the language each time that we spoke. Finally, he began nodding as
though he had.
After some
more discussion, he stuck his neck out and said, "I read the newspapers. I
am certain his crowd can afford the insurance." That was almost worth the
price of admission to me.
But,
"No," I said. "Believe me, when I take possession of those
automatic rifles, they are going to vanish off the face of the Earth."
"Neat
trick, that," he said, "considering I don't even know where we will
be picking them up yet."
"It
does not matter."
"Confidence is a fine thing. Then there is foolhardiness. . .
." He shrugged. "Have it as you say then-your problem."
Then I told
him about the ammo and he must have been convinced as to my mental
deterioration. He just stared at me for a long while, not even shaking his head
this time. It was a good ten minutes before I could even get him to look at the
specifications. It was then that he began shaking his head and mumbling about
silver bullets and inert primers.
The
ultimate arbiter, cash, convinced him we would do it my way, however. There was
no trouble on the rifles or the trucks, but persuading an arms factory to
produce my ammo was going to be expensive, he told me. He was not even certain
he could find one that would be willing. When I told him that the cost was no
object, it seemed to upset him even more. If I could afford to indulge in
weird, experimental ammo, an end-use certificate would not come to that
much-No. I told him no. My way, I reminded him.
He sighed
and tugged at the fringe of his mustache. Then he nodded. Very well, we would
do it my way.
He
overcharged me, of course. Since I was rational in all other matters, the
alternative to psychosis would be that I was party to an expensive boondoggle.
While the ramifications must have intrigued him, he apparently decided not to
look too far into such a sticky-seeming enterprise. He was willing to seize
every opportunity I extended for dissociating himself from the project. Once he
found the ammo people-a Swiss outfit as it turned out-he was quite willing to
put me into contact with them and wash his hands of everything but the money.
Ganelon and
I went to
We spent
three weeks in
Then I left
Ganelon to shift for himself for a time, since he had
thrown himself into his tourist role in a true Stanislavskian fashion. I saw
him off to
Back? Yes.
That run-down place on the hillside below me had been my home for the better
part of a decade. I had been heading toward it when I was forced off the road
and into the accident which led to everything which has since occurred.
I drew on
my cigarette and regarded the place. It had not been run-down then. I had
always kept it in good shape. The place had been completely paid for. Six rooms and an attached two-car garage. Around
seven acres. The whole hillside, actually. I
had lived there alone most of the time. I had liked it. I had spent much of my
time in the den and in my workshop. I wondered whether the Mori woodcut still
hung in my study. Face to Face it was called, and it depicted two warriors in
mortal combat. It would be nice to have it back. It would be gone, though, I
felt. Probably everything that had not been stolen had been sold for back taxes.
I imagined that was what the State of
I had
contacted Gerard shortly after my arrival in
Gerard had
studied me quite carefully. He was out somewhere in open country and he seemed
to be alone. "Corwin?" he had said, then, "Yes . . ."
"Right. What happened with Benedict?"
"I
found him as you said he would be and I released him. He was set to pursue you
once again, but I was able to persuade him that a considerable time had passed
since I had seen you. Since you said you had left him unconscious, I figured
that was the best line to take. Also, his horse was very tired. We went back to
Avalon together. I remained with him through the funerals, then
borrowed a horse. I am on my way back to Amber now."
"Funerals? What funerals?"
Again, that calculating look.
"You
really do not know?" he said.
"If I
knew, damn it, I would not ask!"
"His servants. They were murdered. He says you did
it"
"No," I said. "No. That is ridiculous. Why should I want
to murder his servants? I do not understand . . ."
"It
was not long after his return that he went looking for them, as they were not
on hand to welcome him. He found them murdered and you and your companion
gone."
"Now I
see how it looked," I said. "Where were the bodies?"
"Buried, but not too deeply, in the little wood behind the
garden to the rear of the house."
Just so, just so. . . . Better not to mention I had known
about the grave.
"But
what possisbie reason does he think I could have for doing such a thing?"
I protested.
"He is
puzzled, Corwin. Very puzzled, now. He could not
understand why you did not kill him when you had the chance, and why you sent for
me when you could have just left him there."
"I see
now why he kept calling me a murderer as we fought, but-Did you tell him what I
said about not having slain anyone?"
"Yes.
At first he shrugged it off as a self-serving statement. I told him you sounded
sincere, and very puzzled yourself. I believe it bothered him a bit that you
should be so insistent. He asked me several times whether I believed you."
"Do
you?"
He dropped
his eyes.
"Damn
it, Corwin! What am I supposed to believe? I came into the middle of this. We
have been apart for so long. . ."
He met my
gaze.
"There
is more to it," he said.
"What
is that?"
"Why
did you call me to help him? That was a complete deck you took. You could have
called any of us."
"You
must be joking," I said.
"No, I
want an answer."
"Very well. You are the only other one I trust."
"Is
that all?"
"No.
Benedict does not want his whereabouts known back in Amber. You and Julian are
the only two I know for certain to be aware of his location. I don't like
Julian, I don't trust him. So I called you."
"How
did you know that Julian and I knew about him?"
"He
helped you both out when you ran into trouble on the black road awhile back,
and he put you up while you recuperated. Dara told me about it."
"Dara? Who is this Dara anyway?"
"The
orphaned daughter of a couple who once worked for Benedict," I said.
"She was around when you and Julian were there."
"And
you sent her a bracelet. You also mentioned her to me by the road, back when
you summoned me."
"Correct. What is the matter?"
"Nothing. I do not really remember her, though. Tell
me, why did you leave so suddenly? You have to admit, it seemed the act of a
guilty man."
"Yes," I said, "I was guilty-but not of murder. I went to
Avalon to obtain something that I wanted, I got it, and I cleared out. You saw
that wagon, and you saw that I had a cargo in it. I got out before he returned
to keep from answering questions Benedict might ask me about it. Hell! If I
just wanted to run, I wouldn't go dragging a wagon along behind me! I'd have
traveled on horseback, fast and light."
"What
was in the wagon?"
"No," I said. "I did not want to tell Benedict and I do
not want to tell you. Oh, he can find out, I suppose. But let him do it the
hard way, if he must. It is immaterial, though. The fact I went there for
something and really obtained it should be sufficient. It is not especially
valuable there, but is in another place. Fair enough?"
"Yes," he said. "It does make a kind of sense."
"Then
answer my question. Do you think I murdered them?"
"No," he said. "I believe you."
"What
about Benedict, now? What does he think?"
"He
would not attack you again without talking first. There is doubt in his mind, I
know that."
"Good.
That's something, anyway. Thank you, Gerard. I am going away now." I moved
to break the contact
"Wait,
Corwin! Wait!"
"What
is it?"
"How
did you cut the black road? You destroyed a section of it at the place you
crossed over. How did you do it?"
"The
Pattern," I said. "If you ever get in trouble with that thing, hit it
with the Pattern. You know how you have to sometimes hold it in your mind if
shadows begin to run away from you and things start going wild?"
"Yes.
I tried that and it didn't work. All I got was a headache. It is not of
Shadow."
"Yes
and no," I said. "I know what it is. You did not try hard enough. I
used the Pattern until my head felt as if it were being torn apart, until I was
half blind from the pain and about ready to pass out. Then the road came apart
about me instead. It was no fun, but it did work."
"I
will remember," he said. "Are you going to talk to Benedict
now?"
"No," I said. "He already has everything we've gone over.
Now that he is cooling off, he will begin pushing the facts around some more. I
would just as soon he do it on his own-and I do not
want to risk another fight. When I close this time I will be silent fora long
while. I will resist all efforts to communicate with me, also."
"What
of Amber, Corwin? What of Amber?"
I dropped
my eyes.
"Don't
get in my way when I come back, Gerard. Believe me, it will be no
contest."
"Corwin . . . Wait. I'd like to ask you to reconsider. Do not hit
Amber now. She is weak in all the wrong ways."
"I am
sorry, Gerard. But I am certain I have given the matter more thought during the
past five years than all the rest of you put together."
"I am
sorry, too, then."
"I
guess I had better be going now."
He nodded.
"Good-by, Corwin."
"Good-by, Gerard."
After
waiting several hours for the sun to disappear behind the hill, leaving the
house in a premature twilight, I mashed a final cigarette, shook out my jacket
and donned it, rose to my feet. There had been no signs of life about the
place, no movement behind the dirty windows, the broken window. Slowly, I
descended the hill.
Flora's
place out in
I had
debated contacting Random, decided against it. The only way he could possibly
benefit me would be with information as to current affairs in Amber. While this
would be nice to have, it was not absolutely essential. I was fairly certain
that I could trust him. After all, he had been of some assistance to me in the
past. Admitted, it was hardly altruism-but still, he had gone a bit further
than he had had to. It was five years ago, though, and a lot had happened
since. He was being tolerated around Amber again, and he had a wife now. He
might be eager to gain a little standing. I just did not know. But weighing the
possible benefits against the possible losses, I thought it better to wait and
see him personally the next time I was in town.
I had kept
my word and resisted all attempts to make contact with me. They had come almost
daily during my first two weeks back on the shadow Earth. Several weeks had
passed, though, and I had not been troubled since. Why should I give anyone a
free shot at my thinking machinery? No thanks, brothers.
I advanced
upon the rear of the house, sidled up to a window, wiped
it with my elbow. I had been watching the place for three days, and it struck
me as very unlikely that anyone was inside. Still. . . I peered in.
It was a
mess, of course, and a lot of my stuff was missing. But some of it was still
there. I moved to my right and tried the door. Locked.
I chuckled.
I walked
around to the patio. Ninth brick in, fourth brick up.
The key was still beneath it. I wiped it on my jacket as I walked back. I let
myself in.
There was
dust on everything, but it had been disturbed in some places. There were coffee
containers, sandwich wrappers, and the remains of a petrified hamburger in the
fireplace. A lot of weather had found its way down that chimney in my absence.
I crossed over and closed the damper.
I saw that
the front door had been broken about the lock. I tried it. It seemed to be
nailed shut. There was an obscenity scrawled on the wall in the foyer. I walked
on into the kitchen. It was a total mess. Anything that had survived plunder
was on the floor. The stove and the refrigerator were gone, the floor scarred
where they had been pushed along.
I backed
away, went and checked my workshop. Yes, it had been stripped. Completely. Passing on, I was surprised to find my bed,
still unmade, and two expensive chairs all intact in my bedroom.
My study
was a more pleasant surprise. The big desk was covered with the litter and
muss, but then it always had been. Lighting a cigarette, I went and sat behind
it. I guess it was just too heavy and bulky for anyone to make off with. My
books were all on their shelves. Nobody steals books but your friends. And
there-
I could not
believe it. I got to my feet again and crossed the room to stare at close
range.
Yoshitoshi
Mori's beautiful woodcut hung right where it had always been, clean, stark,
elegant, violent. To think that no one had made off with one of my most prized
possessions....
Clean?
I
scrutinized it. I ran my finger along the frame.
Too clean. It bore none of the dust and grit which covered
everything else in the house.
I checked
it for trip wires, found none, removed it from its hook, lowered
it.
No, the
wall was no lighter behind it. It matched the rest of the wall perfectly.
I put
Mori's work on the window seat and returned to my desk. I was troubled, as
someone doubtless intended me to be. Someone had obviously removed it and taken
good care of it-a thing for which I was not ungrateful-and then only just
recently restored it. It was as if my return had been anticipated.
Which
should be adequate reason for immediate flight, I suppose. But that was silly.
If it was part of some trap, it had already been sprung. I jerked the automatic
from my jacket pocket and tucked it behind my belt. I had not even known that I
would be coming back myself. It was just something I had decided to do since I
had had some time on my hands. I was not even certain as to why I had wanted to
see the place again.
So this was
some sort of contingency arrangement. If I should come by the old homestead, it
might be to obtain the only thing in the place worth having. So preserve it and
display it so that I will have to take notice. All right, I had. I had not been
attacked yet, so it did not seem a trap. What then? A
message. Some sort of a message. What? How? And who?
The safest
place in the house, had it remained unravaged, should still be the safe. It was
not beyond any of my siblings' skill. I moved to the rear wall, pressed the
panel loose, and swung it out. I spun the dial through its combination, stepped
back, opened the door with my old swagger stick.
No explosion. Good. Not that I had expected any.
There had
been nothing of any great value inside-a few hundred dollars in cash, some
bonds, receipts, correspondence.
An envelope. A fresh, white envelope lay in plain sight. I
did not remember it.
My name upon it, written in an elegant hand. Not with
ballpoint either.
It contained a letter and a card.
Brother
Corwin, the letter said, If you are reading this, then we still think enough
alike for me to be able to anticipate you somewhat. I thank you for the loan of
the woodcut-one of two possible reasons, as I see it, for your
returning to this squalid shadow. I am loathe to
relinquish it, as our tastes are also somewhat akin and it has graced my
chambers for several years now. There is something to the subject that strikes
a familiar chord. Its return is to be taken as evidence of my good will and a
bid for your attention. In that I must be honest with you if I am to stand a
chance of convincing you of anything, I will not apologize for what has been
done. My only regret, actually, is that I did not kill you when I should have.
Vanity it was, that played me for a fool. While time may have healed your eyes,
I doubt it will ever significantly alter our feelings for one another. Your
letter-"I'll be back"-lies upon my writing table at this moment. Had
I written it, I know that I would be back. Some things being equal between us,
I anticipate your return, and not without somewhat of apprehension. Knowing you
for no fool, I contemplate your arriving in force. And here is where past vanity
is paid of present pride. I would have peace between us, Corwin, for the sake
of the realm, not my own. Strong forces out of Shadow have come to beset Amber
regularly, and I do not fully understand their nature. Against these forces,
the most formidable in my memory ever to assail Amber, the family has united
behind me. I would like to have your support in this struggle. Failing that, I
request that you forbear invading me for a time. If you elect to assist, I will
require no homage of you, simply acknowledgment of my leadership for the
duration of the crisis. You will be accorded your normal honors. It is
important that you contact me to see the truth of what I say. As I have failed
to reach you by means of your Trump, I enclose my own for your use. While the
possibility that I am lying to you is foremost in your mind, I give you my word
that I am not.-Eric, Lord of Amber.
I reread it
and chuckled. What did he think curses were for, anyway?
No good, my
brother. It was kind of you to think of me in your moment of need-and I believe
you, never doubt it, for we are all of us honorable men-but our meeting will
come according to my schedule, not yours. As for Amber, I am not unmindful of
her needs, and I will deal with them in my own time and fashion. You make the
mistake, Eric, of considering yourself necessary. The graveyards are filled
with men who thought thay could not be replaced. I will wait though, to tell
you this, face to face.
I tucked
his letter and the Trump in my jacket pocket. I killed my cigarette in the
dirty ashtray on my desk. Then I fetched some linen from the bedroom to wrap my
combatants. They would wait for me in a safer place, this time.
As I passed
through the house once again, I wondered why I had come back, really. I thought
of some of the people I had known when I had lived there, and wondered whether
they ever thought of me, whether they wondered what had become of me. I would
never know, of course.
Night had
begun and the sky was clear and its first stars bright as I stepped outside and
locked the door behind me. I went around to the side and returned the key to
its place beneath the patio. Then I mounted the hill.
When I
looked back from the top, the house seemed to have shrunken there in the
darkness, to have become a piece of the desolation, like an empty beer can tossed beside the road. I crossed over and down, heading
across a field toward the place where I had parked, wishing I had not looked
back.
Chapter 9
Ganelon and
I departed
I led us
through a land of dark hills and narrow villages, where the only vehicles we
passed were horsedrawn. When the sky grew bright lemon, the beasts of burden
were striped and feathered. We drove for hours, finally encountering the black
road, paralleling it for a time, then heading off in
another direction. The skies went through a dozen shiftings, and the contours
of the land melted and merged from hill to plain and back again. We crept along
poor roads and skidded on flats as smooth and hard as glass. We edged our way
across a mountain's face and skirted a wine-dark sea. We passed through storms
and fogs.
It took me
half a day to find them once again, or a shadow so close that it made no
difference. Yes, those whom I had exploited once before. They were short
fellows, very hairy, very dark, with long incisors and retractable claws. But
they had trigger fingers, and they worshiped me. They were overjoyed at my
return. It little mattered that five years earlier I
had sent the cream of their manhood off to die in a strange land. The gods are
not to be questioned, but loved, honored, and obeyed. They were quite
disappointed that I only wanted a few hundred. I had to turn away thousands of
volunteers. The morality of it did not especially trouble me this time. One way
of looking at it might be that by employing this group I was seeing to it that
the others had not died in vain. Of course I did not look at it that way, but I
enjoy exercises in sophistry. I suppose I might also consider them mercenaries
being paid in spiritual coin. What difference did it make whether they fought
for money or for a belief? I was capable of supplying either one when I needed
troops.
Actually,
though, these would be pretty safe, being the only ones in the place with fire
power. My ammo was still inert in their homeland, however, and it took several
days of marching through Shadow to reach a land sufficiently like Amber for it
to become functional. The only catch was that shadows follow a law of
congruency of correspondences, so that the place actually was close to Amber.
This kept me somewhat on edge throughout their training. It was unlikely that a
brother would blunder through that shadow. Still, worse coincidences have
occurred.
We drilled
for close to three weeks before I decided we were ready. Then, on a bright,
crisp morning, we broke camp and moved on into Shadow, the columns of troops
following behind the trucks. The trucks would cease to function when we neared
Amber-they were already giving us some trouble-but they might as well be used
to haul the equipment as far along as possible.
This time,
I intended to go over the top of Kolvir from the north, rather than essay its
seaward face again. All of the men had an understanding of the layout, and the
disposition of the rifle squads had already been determined and run through in
practice.
We halted
for lunch, ate well, and continued on, the shadows slowly slipping away about
us. The sky became a dark but brilliant blue, the sky of Amber. The earth was
black among rocks and the bright green of the grass. The trees and the shrubs
had a moist lucency to their foliage. The air was sweet and clean.
By
nightfall, we were passing among the massive trees at the fringes of
The trucks
gave out the following afternoon. They went through several transformations,
stalled repeatedly, and finally refused to start at all. We pushed them into a
ravine and cut branches to cover them over. We distributed the ammo and the
rest of the rations and continued on.
We departed
the hard, dirt roadway after that and worked our way through the woods
themselves. As I still knew them well, it was less of a problem than it might
have been. It slowed us, naturally, but lessened chances of surprise by one of
Julian's patrols. The trees were quite large, as we were well into
We
encountered nothing more menacing than foxes, deer, rabbits, and squirrels that
day. The smells of the place and its green, gold, and brown brought back
thoughts of happier times. Near sunset, I scaled a forest giant and was able to
make out the range that held Kolvir. A storm was playing about its peaks just
then and its clouds hid their highest portions.
The
following
We gained
considerable distance and altitude by nightfall, and the mountains were in
sight whenever there was a clear line of vision. The storm clouds still clung
to their peaks. My troops were excited over the day's slaughter and took a long
while getting to sleep that night.
The next
day we reached the foothills, successfully avoiding two patrols. I pushed us on
and up well after nightfall, to reach a place of cover I had had in mind. We
bedded down at an altitude perhaps half a mile higher than we had the previous
night. We were under the cloud cover, but there was no rainfall, despite a
constant atmospheric tension of the sort that precedes a storm. I did not sleep
well that night. I dreamed of the burning cat head, and of
In the
morning, we moved out under gray skies, and I pushed the troops remorselessly,
heading steadily upward. We heard the sounds of distant thunder, and the air
was alive and electric.
About
mid-morning, as I led our file up a twisted, rocky route, I heard a shout from
behind me, followed by several bursts of gunfire. I headed back immediately.
A small
knot of men, Ganelon among them, stood staring down at something, talking in
low voices. I pushed my way through.
I could not
believe it. Never in my memory had one been seen this near to Amber. Perhaps
twelve feet in length, bearing that terrible parody of a human face on the
shoulders of a lion, eagle-like wings folded above its now bloody sides, a still-twitching
tail like that of a scorpion, I had glimpsed the manticora once in isles far to
the south, a frightful beast that had always held a spot near the top on my
unclean list.
"It
tore Rall in half, it tore Rall in half," one of the men kept repeating.
About
twenty paces away, I saw what was left of Rail. We covered him over with a tarp
and weighted it down with rocks. That was really about all that we could do. If
nothing else, it served to restore a quality of wariness that had seemed to vanish
after the previous day's easy victory. The men were silent and cautious as we
continued on our way.
"Quite
a thing, that," Ganelon said. "Has it the intelligence of a
man?"
"I do
not really know."
"I've
a funny, nervous feeling, Corwin. As though something
terrible is about to happen. I don't know how else to put it."
"I
know."
"You
feel it, too?"
"Yes."
He nodded.
"Maybe
it's the weather," I said. He nodded again, more slowly.
The sky
continued to darken as we climbed, and the thunder never ceased. Flashes of
heat lightning occurred in the west, and the winds grew stronger. Looking up, I
could see great masses of clouds about the higher peaks. Black, bird-like
shapes were constantly outlined against them.
We
encountered another manticora later, but we dispatched it with no damage to
ourselves. About an hour later, we were attacked by a flock of large,
razor-beaked birds, the like of which I had never seen before. We succeeded in
driving them off, but this, too, disturbed me.
We kept
climbing, wondering when the storm was going to begin. The winds increased in
velocity.
It grew
quite dark, though I knew the sun had not yet set. The air took on a misty,
hazy quality as we neared the cloud clusters. A feeling of dampness worked it
way into everything. The rocks were more slippery. I was tempted to call a
halt, but we were still a good distance from Kolvir and I did not want to
strain the rations situation, which I had calculated quite carefully.
We achieved
perhaps another four miles and several thousand feet in elevation before we
were forced to stop. It was pitch black by then, the only illumination at all
coming from the intermittent flashes of lightning. We camped in a large circle
on a hard, bare slope, sentries all about the perimeter. The thunder came like
long flourishes of martial music. The temperature plummeted. Even had I
permitted fires, there was nothing burnable about. We settled down for a cold,
clammy, dark time.
The
manticoras attacked several hours later, sudden and silent. Seven men died and
we killed sixteen of the beasts. I have no idea how many others fled. I cursed
Eric as I bound my wounds and wondered from what shadow he had drawn the
things.
During what
passed for morning, we advanced perhaps five miles toward Kolvir before bearing
off to the west. It was one of three possible routes we could follow, and I had
always considered it the best for a possible attack. The birds came to plague
us again, several times, with greater numbers and persistency. Shooting a few
of them, though, was all it took to route the entire flock.
Finally, we
rounded the base of a huge escarpment, our way taking us outward and upward
through thunder and mist, until we were afforded a sudden vista, sweeping down
and out for dozens of miles across the
I called a
halt and moved forward to observe.
When last I
had seen that once lovely valley, it had been a twisted wilderness. Now, things
were even worse. The black road cut through it, running to the base of Kolvir
itself, where it halted. A battle was raging within the valley. Mounted forces
swirled together, engaged, wheeled away. Lines of foot soldiers advanced, met,
fell back. The lightning kept flashing and striking among them. The dark birds
swept about them like ashes on the wind.
The
dampness lay like a cold blanket. The echoes of the thunder bounced about the
peaks. I stared, puzzling, at the conflict far below.
The
distance was too great for me to determine the combatants. At first it occurred
to me that someone else might be about the same thing I was-that perhaps Bleys
had survived and returned with a new army.
But no. These were coming in from the west, along the black
road. And I saw now that the birds accompanied them, and bounding forms that
were neither horses nor men. The manticoras, perhaps.
The
lightnings fell upon them as they came, scattering, burning, blasting. As I
realized that they never struck near the defenders, I recalled that Eric had
apparently gained some measure of control over that device known as the Jewel
of Judgment, with which Dad had exercised his will upon the weather about
Amber. Eric had employed it against us with considerable effect five years
earlier.
So the
forces from Shadow about which I had been hearing reports, were even stronger
than I had thought. I had envisioned harassment, but not a pitched battle at
the foot of Kolvir. I looked down at the movements within the blackness. The
road seemed almost to writhe from the activity about it.
Ganelon
came and stood beside me. He was silent for a long while.
I did not
want him to ask me, but I felt powerless to say it except as answer to a
question.
"What
now, Corwin?"
"We
must increase the pace," I said. "I want to be in Amber
tonight."
We moved
again. The going was better for a time, and that helped. The storm without rain
continued, its lightnings and thunders increasing in
brilliance and volume. We moved through a constant twilight.
When we
came to a safe-seeming place later that afternoon-a place within five miles of
the northern skirts of Amber-I halted us again, for rest and a final meal. We
had to scream at one another in order to be heard, so I could not address the
men. I simply passed the word along concerning our proximity and the need for
readiness.
I took my
rations with me and scouted on ahead while the others rested. About a mile
farther along, I mounted a steep upturn, pausing when I achieved its crest.
There was a battle of some sort in progress on the slopes ahead.
I kept out
of sight and observed. A force out of Amber was engaged with a larger body of
attackers which must have either preceded us up the slope or arrived by
different means. I suspected the latter, inasmuch as we had seen no signs of
recent passage. The engagement explained our own good fortune in not
encountering defensive patrols on the way up.
I moved
nearer. While the attackers could have come up by one of the two other routes,
I saw additional evidence that this need not have been the case. They were
still arriving, and it was a most fearsome sight, for they were airborne.
They swept
in from the west like great gusts of windblown leaves. The aerial movement I
had witnessed from the distance had been of greater variety than the
belligerent bird life. The attackers came in on winged, two-legged, dragon-like
creatures, the closest parallel with which I was familiar being a heraldic
beast, the wyvern. I had never seen a non-decorative wyvern before, but then I
had never felt any great desire to go looking for one.
Among the
defenders were numerous archers, who took a deadly toll of these in flight.
Sheets of pure hell erupted among them also, as the lightnings flashed and
flared, sending them like cinders toward the ground. But still they came on,
landing, so that both man and beast could attack those entrenched. I looked for
and located the pulsating glow given off by the Jewel of Judgment when it has
been tuned to operate. It came from the midst of the largest body of defenders,
dug in near the base of a high cliff.
I stared
and studied, focusing on the wearer of the gem. Yes, there could be no doubt.
It was Eric.
On my belly
now, I crawled even farther. I saw the leader of the nearest party of defenders
behead a landing wyvem with a single sword stroke. With his left hand, he
seized the harness of its rider and buried him over thirty feet, out beyond the
lip-like brink of the place. As he turned then to shout an order, I saw that it
was Gerard. He appeared to be leading a flanking assault on a mass of the
attackers who were assailing the forces at the foot of the cliff. On its far
side, a similar body of troops was doing likewise. Another of
my brothers?
I wondered
how long the battle had been in progress, both in the valley and here above.
Quite a while, I guessed, considering the duration of the unnatural storm.
I moved to
the right, turning my attention to the west. The battle in the valley continued
unabated. From this distance, it was impossible to tell who was who, let alone
who was winning. I could see, though, that no new forces were arriving from out
of the west to supplement the attackers.
I was
perplexed as to my own best course of action. Clearly, I could not attack Eric
when he was engaged in anything this crucial to the defense of Amber herself.
Waiting to pick up the pieces afterward might be wisest. However, I could
already feel the rat teeth of doubt at work on that idea.
Even
without reinforcements for the attackers, the outcome of the encounter was by
no means clear-cut. The invaders were strong, numerous. I had no idea as to
what Eric might have in reserve. At that moment, it was impossible for me to
gauge whether war bonds for Amber would be a good investment. If Eric lost, it
would then be necessary for me to take on the invaders myself, after much of
Amber's manpower had been wasted.
If I were
to move in now with automatic weapons, there was little doubt in my mind that
we would crush the wyvem-riders quickly. For that matter, one or more of my
brothers had to be down in the valley. A gateway for some of my troops could be
set up by means of the Trumps. It would surprise whatever was down there for
Amber suddenly to come up with riflemen.
I returned
my attention to the conflict nearer at hand. No, it was not going well. I
speculated as to the results of my intervening. Eric would certainly be in no
position to turn on me. Besides any sympathy that might be mine for what he had
put me through, I would be responsible for pulling his nuts out of the fire.
While he would be grateful for the relief, he would not be too happy over the
general sentiment this would arouse. No, indeed. I
would be back in Amber with a very deadly personal bodygnard and a lot of
goodwill going for me. An intriguing thought. It would provide a far smoother
route to my objective than the brutal frontal assault culminating in regicide
that I had had in mind.
Yes.
I felt
myself smiling. I was about to become a hero.
I must
grant myself a small measure of grace, however. Given the choice only between
Amber with Eric on the throne and Amber fallen, there is no question but that
my decision would have been the same, to attack. Things were not going well
enough to be certain, and while it would work to my advantage to save the day,
my own advantage was not, ultimately, essential. I could not hate thee, Eric,
so much, loved I not Amber more.
I withdrew
and hurried back down the slope, flashes of lightning hurling my shadow in
every which direction.
I halted at
the periphery of my encampment. At its farther edge, Ganelon stood in shouting
converse with a lone horseman, and I recognized the horse.
I advanced,
and at a sign from its rider the horse moved forward, winding its way among the
troops, heading in my direction. Ganelon shook his head and followed.
The rider
was Dara. As soon as she was within earshot, I shouted at her.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She
dismounted, smiling, and stood before me.
"I
wanted to come to Amber," she said. "So I did."
"How
did you get here?"
"I
followed Grandpa," she said. "It is easier to follow someone through
Shadow, I discovered, than to do it yourself."
"Benedict is here?" She nodded.
"Down below. He is directing the forces in the valley.
Julian is there, too."
Ganelon
came up and stood near.
"She
said that she followed us up here," he shouted. "She has been behind
us for a couple days."
"Is
that true?" I asked.
She nodded
again, still smiling. "It was not hard to do."
"But
why did you do it?"
"To get into Amber, of course? I want to walk the
Pattern! That is where you are going, isn't it?"
"Of
course it is. But there happens to be a war in the way!"
"What
are you going to do about it?"
"Win
it, of course!"
"Good.
I'll wait."
I cursed
for a few moments to give myself time to think, then, "Where were you when
Benedict returned?" I asked.
The smile
went away.
"I do
not know," she said. "I was out riding after you left, and I stayed
away the entire day. I wanted to be alone to think. When I returned in the
evening, he was not there. I rode again the following day. I traveled quite a
distance, and when it grew dark I decided to camp out. I do that often. The
next afternoon, as I was returning home, I came to the top of a hill and saw
him passing below, heading to the east. I decided to follow him. The way led
through Shadow, I understand that now-and you were right about it being easier
to follow. I do not know how long it took. Time got all mixed up. He came here,
and I recognized it from the picture on one of the cards. He met with Julian in
a wood to the north, and they returned together to that battle below." She
gestured toward the valley. "I remained in the forest for several days,
not knowing what to do. I was afraid of getting lost if I tried to backtrack.
Then I saw your force climbing the mountains. I saw you and I saw Ganelon at
their head. I knew that Amber lay that way, and I followed. I waited until now
to approach, because I wanted you to be too near to Amber to send me back when
I did."
"I
don't believe you are telling me the whole truth," I said, "but I
haven't the time to care. We are going ahead now, and there will be fighting.
The safest thing for you will be to remain here. I will assign you a couple of
bodyguards."
"I do
not want them!"
"I
don't care what you want. You are going to have them. When the fighting is over
I will send for you." I turned then and selected two men at random,
ordering them to remain behind and guard her. They did not seem overjoyed at
the prospect.
"What
are those weapons your men bear?" Dara asked.
"Later," I said. "I'm busy." I relayed a sketchy
briefing and ordered my squads.
"You
seem to have a very small number of men," she said.
"They
are sufficient," I replied. "I will see you later." I left her
there with her guards.
We moved
back along the route I had taken. The thunder ceased as we advanced, and the
silence became less a thing of relief than of suspense to me. The twilight
resettled about us, and I perspired within the damp blanket of the air.
I called a
halt before we reached the first point from which I had observed the action. I
returned to it then, accompanied by Ganelon.
The
wyvern-riders were all over the place and their beasts fought along with them.
They were pressing the defenders back against the cliff face. I sought for but
could not locate Eric or the glow of his jewel.
"Which
ones are the enemy?" Ganelon asked me.
"The beast-riders."
They were
all of them landing now that heaven's artillery had let up. As soon as they
struck the solid surface, they charged forward. I searched among the defenders,
but Gerard was no longer in sight.
"Bring
up the troops," I said, raising my rifle. "Tell them to get the
beasts and the riders both."
Ganelon withdrew, and I took aim at a
descending wyvern, fired, and watched its swoop turn into a sudden flurry of
pinions. It struck against the slope and began to flop about. I fired again.
The beast
began to burn as it died. Soon I had three bonfires going. I crawled up to my
second previous position. Secure, I took aim and fired once more.
I got
another, but by then some of them were turning in my direction. I fired the
rest of my ammo and hastened to reload. Several of them had begun moving toward
me by then. They were quite fast.
I managed
to stop them and was reloading again when the first rifle squad arrived. We put
down a heavier fire, and began to advance as the others came up.
It was all
over within ten minutes. Within the first five they had apparently realized
that they hadn't a chance, and they began to flee back toward the ledge,
launching themselves into space, becoming airborne
again. We shot them down as they ran, and burning flesh and smoldering bones
lay everywhere about us.
The moist
rock rose sheer to our left, its summit lost in the. clouds,
so that it seemed as if it might tower endlessly above us. The winds still
whipped the smoke and the mists, and the rocks were smeared and splotched with
blood. As we had advanced, firing, the forces of Amber quickly realized that we
represented assistance and began to push forward from their position at the
base of the cliff. I saw that they were being led by my brother Caine. For a
moment our eyes locked together across the distance, then
he plunged ahead into the fray.
Scattered
groups of Amberites united into a second force as the attackers fell back.
Actually, they limited our field of fire when they attacked the far flank of
the wizened beast-men and their wyvems, but I had no way of getting word of
this to them. We drew closer, and our firing was accurate.
A small
knot of men remained at the base of the cliff. I had a feeling they were
guarding Eric, and that he had possibly been wounded, since the storm effects
had ceased abruptly. I worked my own way off in that direction.
The firing
was already beginning to die down as I drew near the group, and I was hardly
aware of what happened next until it was too late.
Something
big came rushing up from behind and was by me in an instant. I hit the ground
and rolled, bringing my rifle to bear automatically. My finger did not tighten
on the trigger, however. It was Dara, who had just plunged past me on
horseback. She turned and laughed as I screamed at her.
"Get
back down there! Damn you! You'll be killed!"
"I'll
see you in Amber!" she cried, and she shot on across the grisly rock and
made it up the trail that lay beyond.
I was
furious. But there was nothing I could do about it just then. Snarling, I got
back to my feet and continued on.
As I
advanced upon the group, I heard my name spoken several times. Heads turned in
my direction. People moved aside to let me pass. I recognized many of them, but
I paid them no heed.
I think
that I saw Gerard at about the same time that he saw me. He had been kneeling
in their midst, and he rose to his feet and waited. His face was
expressionless.
As I drew
nearer, I saw that it was as I had suspected. He had been kneeling to tend an
injured man who rested upon the ground. It was Eric.
I nodded to
Gerard as I came up beside him, and I looked down at Eric. My feelings were
quite mixed. The blood from his several chest wounds was very bright and there
was a lot of it. The Jewel of Judgment, which still hung on a chain about his
neck, was covered with it. Eerily, it continued its faint, glowing pulsation,
heart-like beneath the gore. Eric's eyes were closed, his head resting upon a
rolled-up cloak. His breathing was labored.
I knelt,
unable to take my eyes off that ashen face. I tried to push my hate aside just
a little, since he was obviously dying, so that I might have a better chance to
understand this man who was my brother for the moments that remained to him. I
found that I could muster up something of sympathy by considering all that he
was losing along with his life and wondering whether it would have been me
lying there if I had come out on top five years earlier. I tried to think of
something in his favor, and all I could come up with were the epitaph-like
words, He died fighting for Amber. That was something, though. The phrase kept
runing through my mind.
His eyes
tightened, flickered, opened. His face remained without expression as his eyes
focused on mine. I wondered whether he even recognized me.
But he said
my name, and then, "I knew that it would be you." He paused for a
couple of breaths and went on, "They saved you some trouble, didn't
they?" I did not reply. He already knew the answer.
"Your
turn will come one day," he continued. "Then we will be peers."
He chuckled and realized too late that he should not have. He went into an
unpleasant spasm of moist coughing. When it passed, he glared at me.
"I
could feel your curse," he said. "All around me.
The whole time. You didn't even have to die to make it
stick."
Then, as if
reading my thoughts, he smiled faintly and said, "No I'm not going to give
you my death curse. I've reserved that for the enemies of Amber-out
there." He gestured with his eyes. He pronounced it then, in a whisper,
and I shuddered to overhear it.
He returned
his gaze to my face and stared for a moment. Then he plucked at the chain about
his neck.
"The
Jewel . . ." he said. "You take it with you to the center of the
Pattern. Hold it up. Very close-to an eye. Stare into it-and consider it a
place. Try to project yourself-inside. You don't go. But there is-experience. .
. . Afterward, you know how to use it. . . ."
"How-?" I began, but stopped. He had already told
me how to attune to it. Why ask him to waste his breath on how he had figured
it out?
But he
caught it and managed, "Dworkin's notes . . . under fireplace.
. . my-"
Then he was
taken with another coughing spell and the blood came out of his nose and his
mouth. He sucked in a deep breath and heaved himself into a sitting position,
eyes rolling wildly.
"Acquit yourself as well as I
have-bastard!" he said, then fell into my arms and heaved out his final,
bloody breath.
I held him
for several moments, then lowered him into his former
position. His eyes were still open, and I reached out and closed them. Almost
automatically, I put his hands together atop the now lifeless gem. I had no
stomach to take it from him at that moment. I stood then, removed my cloak, and
covered him with it.
Turning, I
saw that all of them were staring at me. Familiar faces, many of them. Some
strange ones mixed in. So many who had been there that night when I had come to
dinner in chains. . . .
No. It was
not the time to think of that. I pushed it from my mind. The shooting had
stopped, and Ganelon was calling the troops back and ordering some sort of
formation.
I walked forward.
I passed among the Amberites. I passed among
the dead. I walked by my own troops and moved to the edge of the cliff.
In the
valley below me, the fighting continued, the cavalry flowing like turbulent
waters, merging, eddying, receding, the infantry still swarming like insects.
I drew
forth the cards I had taken from Benedict. I removed his own
from the deck. It shimmered before me, and after a time there was
contact.
He was
mounted on the same red and black horse on which he had pursued me. He was in
motion and there was fighting all about him. Seeing that he confronted another
horseman, I remained still. He spoke but a single word. "Bide," he
said.
He
dispatched his opponent with two quick movements of his blade. Then he wheeled
his mount and began to withdraw from the fray. I saw that his horse's reins had
been lengthened and were looped and tied loosely about the remainder of his
right arm. It took him over ten minutes to remove himself to a place of
relative calm. When he had, he regarded me, and I could tell that he was also
studying the prospect that lay at my back.
"Yes,
I am on the heights," I told him. "We have won. Eric died in the
battle."
He
continued to stare, waiting for me to go on. His face betrayed no emotion.
"We won
because I brought riflemen," I said. "I finally found an explosive
agent that functions here." His eyes narrowed and he nodded. I felt that
he realized immediately what the stuff was and where it had come from.
"While
there are many things I want to discuss with you," I continued, "I
want to take care of the enemy first. If you will hold the contact, I will send
you several hundred riflemen." He smiled.
"Hurry," he said.
I shouted
for Ganelon, and he answered me from only a few paces away. I told him to line
the troops up, single file. He nodded and went off, shouting orders.
As we
waited, I said, "Benedict, Dara is here. She was able to follow you
through Shadow when you rode in from Avalon. I want-"
He bared
his teeth and shouted: "Who the hell is this Dara you keep talking about?
I never heard of her till you came along! Please tell me! I would really like
to know!"
I smiled
faintly.
"It's
no good," I said, shaking my head. "I know all about her, though I
have told no one else that you've a great granddaughter."
His lips
parted involuntarily and his eyes were suddenly wide.
"Corwin," he said, "you are either mad or deceived. I've
no such descendant that I know of. As for anyone following me here through
Shadow, I came in on Julian's Trump."
Of course. My only excuse for not tripping her up
immediately was my preoccupation with the conflict Benedict would have been
notified of the battle by means of the Trumps. Why should he waste time
traveling when an instant means of transport was at hand?
"Damn!" I said. "She is in Amber by now! Listen,
Benedict! I am going to get Gerard or Caine over here to handle the transfer of
the troops to you. Ganelon will come through, also. Give them their orders
through him."
I looked around, saw Gerard talking with several of the nobles. I
shouted for him with a desperate urgency. His head turned quickly. Then he
began running in my direction.
"Corwin! What is it?" Benedict was shouting.
"I
don't know! But something is very wrong!" I thrust the Trump at Gerard as
he came up.
"See
that the troops get through to Benedict!" I said. "Is Random in the
palace?"
"Yes."
"Free or confined?"
"Free-more or less. There will be some guards about. Eric still
doesn't-didn't trust him." I turned.
"Ganelon," I called out. "Do what Gerard here tells you.
He is going to send you to Benedict-down there." I gestured. "See
that the men follow Benedict's orders. I have to get into Amber now."
"All
right," he called back.
Gerard
headed in his direction, and I fanned the Trumps once more. I located Random's
and began to concentrate. At that moment, it finally began to rain. I made
contact almost immediately.
"Hello, Random," I said, as soon as his image came to life.
"Remember me?"
"Where
are you?" he asked.
"In
the mountains," I told him. "We just won this part of the battle, and
I am sending Benedict the help he needs to clean up in the valley. Now, though,
I need your help. Bring me across."
"I
don't know, Corwin. Eric-"
"Eric
is dead."
"Then
who is in charge?"
"Who
do you think? Bring me across!"
He nodded
quickly and extended his hand. I reached out and clasped it. I stepped forward.
I stood beside him on a balcony overlooking one of the courtyards. The railing
was of white marble, and not much was blooming down below. We were two stories
up. I swayed and he seized my arm. "You're hurt!" be said.
I shook my
head, only just then realizing how tired I was. I had not slept very much the
past few nights. That, and everything else. ..
"No," I said, glancing down at the gory mess that was my shirt
front. "Just tired. The blood is Eric's."
He ran a
hand through his straw-colored hair and pursed his lips.
"So you did finally nail him. . ." he said
softly. I shook my head again.
"No.
He was already dying when I got to him. Come with me now! Hurry! It is
important!"
"Where to? What is the matter?"
"To
the Pattern," I said. "Why? I am not certain, but I know that it is
important. Come on!"
We entered
the palace, moving toward the nearest stairwell. There were two guards at its
head, but they came to attention as we approached and did not attempt to
interfere with our passage.
"I'm
glad it's true about your eyes," Random said as we headed down. "Do
you see all right?"
"Yes.
I hear that you are still married."
"Yes.
I am."
When we
reached the ground floor, we hurried to the right. There had been another pair
of guards at the foot of the stair, but they did not move to stop us.
"Yes," he repeated, as we headed toward the center of the
palace. "You are surprised, aren't you?"
"Yes.
I thought you were going to get the year over with and be done with it."
"So
did I," he said. "But I fell in love with
her. I really did."
"Stranger things have happened."
We crossed
the marble dining hall and entered the long, narrow corridor that led far back
through shadows and dust. I suppressed a shudder as I thought of my condition
the last time I had come this way.
"She
really cares for me," he said. "Like nobody else ever has
before."
"I'm
glad for you," I said.
We reached
the door that opened onto the platform hiding the long, spiral stairway down.
It was open. We passed through and began the descent.
"I'm
not," he said, as we hurried around and around. "I didn't want to
fall in love. Not then. We've been prisoners the whole time, you know. How can
she be proud of that?"
"That
is over now," I said. "You became a prisoner because you followed me
and tried to kill Eric, didn't you?"
"Yes.
Then she joined me here."
"I
will not forget," I said.
We rushed
on. It was a great distance down, and there were only
lanterns every forty feet or so. It was a huge, natural cavern. I wondered
whether anyone knew how many tunnels and corridors it contained. I suddenly
felt myself overwhelmed with pity for any poor wretches rotting in its
dungeons, for whatever reasons. I resolved to release them all or find
something better to do with them.
Long
minutes passed. I could see the flickering of the torches and the lanterns
below.
"There
is a girl," I said, "and her name is Dara. She told me she was
Benedict's great-granddaughter and gave me reason to believe it. I told her
somewhat concerning Shadow, reality, and the Pattern. She does possess some
power over Shadow, and she was anxious to walk the Pattern. When last I saw
her, she was headed this way. Now Benedict swears she is not his. Suddenly I am
fearful. I want to keep her from the Pattern. I want to question her."
"Strange," he said. "Very. I agree with you. Do you think
she might be there now?"
"If
she is not, then I feel she will be along soon."
We finally
reached the floor, and I began to race through the shadows toward the proper
tunnel.
"Wait!" Random cried.
I halted
and turned. It took me a moment to locate him, as he was back behind the
stairs. I returned.
My question
did not reach my lips. I saw that he knelt beside a large, bearded man.
"Dead," he said. "A very thin blade.
Good thrust Just recently."
"Come
on!"
We both ran to
the tunnel and turned up it. Its seventh side passage was the one we wanted. I
drew Grayswandir as we neared it, for that great, dark, metal-bound door was
standing ajar.
I sprang
through. Random was right behind me. The floor of that enormous room is black
and looks to be smooth as glass, although it is not slippery. The Pattern burns
upon it, within it, an intricate, shimmering maze of curved lines, perhaps a
hundred and fifty yards long. We halted at its edge, staring.
Something
was out there, walking it. I felt that old, tingling chill the thing always
gives me as I watched. Was it Dara? It was difficult for me to make out the
figure within the fountains of sparks that spewed constantly about it. Whoever
it was had to be of the blood royal, for it was common knowledge that anyone
else would be destroyed by the Pattern, and this individual had already made it
past the Grand Curve and was negotiating the complicated series of arcs that
led toward the Final Veil.
The firefly
form seemed to change shape as it moved. For a time, my senses kept rejecting
the tiny subliminal glimpses that I knew must be coming through to me. I heard
Random gasp beside me, and it seemed to breach my subconscious dam. A horde of
impressions flooded my mind.
It seemed
to tower hugely in that always unsubstantial-seeming chamber. Then shrink, die
down, almost to nothing. It seemed a slim woman for a moment-possibly Dara, her
hair lightened by the glow, streaming, crackling with static electricity. Then
it was not hair, but great, curved horns from some wide, uncertain brow, whose
crook-legged owner struggled to shuffle hoofs along the blazing way. Then
something else . . . An enormouse cat . . . A faceless woman . . . A
bright-winged thing of indescribable beauty . . . A tower of ashes . . .
"Dara!" I cried out. "Is that you?"
My voice
echoed back, and that was all. Whoever/ whatever it was struggled now with the
Final Veil. My muscles strained forward in unwilling sympathy with the effort.
Finally, it
burst through.
Yes, it was
Dara! Tall and magnificent now. Both
beautiful and somehow horrible at the same time. The sight of her tore
at the fabric of my mind. Her arms were upraised in exultation and an inhuman
laughter flowed from her lips. I wanted to look away, yet I could not move. Had
I truely held, caressed, made love to-that? I was mightily repelled and
simultaneously attracted as I had never been before. I could not understand
this overwhelming ambivalence. Then she looked at me.
The laughter ceased. Her altered voice rang out.
"Lord Corwin, are you liege of Amber now?"
From
somewhere, I managed a reply. "For all practical purposes," I said.
"Good!
Then behold your nemesis!"
"Who
are you? What are you?"
"You
will never know," she said. "It is just exactly too late now."
"I do
not understand. What do you mean?"
"Amber," she said, "will be destroyed." And she
vanished.
"What
the hell," said Random then, "was that?" I shook my head.
"I do
not know. I really do not know. And I feel ..that it
is the most important thing in the world that we find out."
He gripped
my arm.
"Corwin," he said. "She-it-meant it.
And it may be possible, you know."
I nodded.
"I know."
"What
are we going to do now?"
I
resheathed Grayswandir and turned back toward the door.
"Pick
up the pieces," I said. "I have what I thought I always wanted within
my grasp now, and I must secure it. And I cannot wait for what is to come. I
must seek it out and stop it before it ever reaches Amber."
"Do
you know where to seek it?" he asked.
We turned
up the tunnel.
"I
believe it lies at the other end of the black road," I said.
We moved on
through the cavern to the stairs where the dead man lay and went round and
round above him in the dark.