Roger
Zelazny
Sign
of the Unicorn
CHAPTER 1
I ignored the questions in the eyes of the groom as I
lowered the grisly parcel and turned the horse in for care and maintenance. My
cloak could not really conceal the nature of its contents as I slung the guts
over my shoulder and stamped off toward the rear entrance to the palace. Hell
would soon be demanding its paycheck.
I skirted the exercise area and made my way to the trail
that led toward the southern end of the palace gardens. Fewer eyes along that
route. I would still be spotted, but it would be a lot less awkward than going
in the front way, where things are always busy. Damn.
And again, damn. Of troubles I considered myself amply
possessed. But those who have do seem to get. Some spiritual form of compound
interest, I suppose.
There were a few idlers beside the fountain at the far end
of the garden. Also, a couple of guards were passing among the bushes near the
trail. The guards saw me coming, held a brief discussion, and looked the other
way. Prudent.
Me, back less than a week. Most things, still unresolved. The
court of Amber, full of suspicion and unrest. This, now: a death to further
jeopardize the brief, unhappy prereign of Corwin 1: me.
Time now to do something I should have done right away. But
there had been so many things to do, from the very first. It was not as if I
had been nodding, as I saw it. I had assigned priorities and acted on them.
Now, though...
I crossed the garden, out of the shade and into the slanting
sunlight. I swung up the wide, curving stair. A guard snapped to attention as I
entered the palace. I made for the rear stairway, then up to the second floor. Then
the third.
From the right, my brother Random stepped out of his suite
and into the hallway.
Corwin! he said, studying my face. What's the matter? I
saw you from the balcony and
Inside, I said, gesturing with my eyes. We are going to
have a private conference. Now.
He hesitated, regarding my burden.
Let's make it two rooms up, he said. Okay? Vialle's in
here.
All right.
He led the way, opened the door. I entered the small sitting
room, sought a likely spot, dropped the body.
Random stared at the bundle.
What am I supposed to do? he asked.
Unwrap the goodies, I said, and take a look.
He knelt and undid the cloak. He folded it back. Dead all
right, he observed. What's the problem?
You did not look closely enough, I said. Peel back an
eyelid. Open the mouth and look at the teeth. Feel the spurs on the backs of
the hands. Count the joints in the fingers. Then you tell me about the
problem.
He began doing these things. As soon as he looked at the
hands he stopped and nodded. All right, he said. I remember.
Remember out loud.
It was back at Flora's place...
That was where I first saw anyone like this, I said. They
were after you, though. I never did find out why.
That's right, he said. I never got a chance to tell you
about it. We weren't together all that long. Strange... Where did this one come
from?
I hesitated, torn between pushing him from his story and
telling him mine. Mine won out because it was mine and very immediate.
I sighed and sank into a chair.
We've just lost us another brother, I said. Caine is
dead. I got there a bit too late. That thing-person did it. I wanted it alive,
for obvious reasons. But it put up quite a fight. I didn't have much of a
choice.
He whistled softly, seated himself in the chair opposite me.
I see, he said very softly.
I studied his face. Was that the faintest of smiles waiting
in the wings to enter and meet my own? Quite possibly.
No, I said flatly. If it were otherwise, I would have
arranged for a lot less doubt as to my innocence. I'm telling you what really
happened.
All right, he said. Where is Caine?
Under a layer of sod, near the Grove of the Unicorn.
That looks suspicious right there, he said. Or will. To
the others.
I nodded.
I know. I had to hide the body and cover it in the
meantime, though. I couldn't just bring him back and start parrying questions. Not
when there were important facts waiting for me, in your head.
Okay, he said. I don't know how important they are, but
they're yours. But don't leave me hanging, huh? How did this thing happen?
It was right after lunch, I said. I had eaten down at the
harbor with Gerard. Afterward, Benedict brought me topside through his Trump.
Back in my rooms, I found a note which apparently had been slipped in under the
door. It requested a private meeting, later in the afternoon, at the Grove of
the Unicorn. It was signed 'Caine. '
Have you still got the note?
Yes. I dug it out of my pocket and passed it to him. Here.
He studied it and shook his head.
I don't know, he said. It could be his writing-if he were
in a hurry-but I don't think it is.
I shrugged. I took the note back, folded it, put it away.
Whatever, I tried to reach him with his Trump, to save
myself the ride. But he wasn't receiving. I guessed it was to maintain secrecy
as to his whereabouts, if it was all that important. So I got a horse and rode
on down.
Did you tell anyone where you were going?
Not a soul. I did decide to give the horse a workout,
though, so I rode along at a pretty good clip. I didn't see it happen, but I
saw him lying there as I came into the wood. His throat had been cut, and there
was a disturbance off in the bushes some distance away. I rode the guy down,
jumped him, fought with him, had to kill him. We didn't engage in any
conversation while this was going on.
You're sure you got the right guy?
As sure as you can be under such circumstances. His trail
went back to Caine. He had fresh blood on his garments.
Might have been his own.
Look again. No wounds. I broke his neck. Of course I
remembered where I had seen his like before, so I brought him right to you. Before
you tell me about it, though, there was one more thing-just for a clincher.
I withdrew the second note, passed it over.
The creature had this on its person. I presume it had
removed it from Caine.
Random read it, nodded, and handed it back.
From you, to Caine, asking to be met there. Yes, I see.
Needless to say...
Needless to say, I finished. And it does look a bit like
my writing-at first glance, anyway.
I wonder what would have happened if you had gotten there
first?
Probably nothing, I said. Alive and looking bad-that
seems how they wanted me. The trick was to get us there in the proper order,
and I didn't hurry quite enough to miss what was bound to follow.
He nodded.
Granting the tight scheduling, he said, it had to be
someone on the scene, here in the palace. Any ideas?
I chuckled and reached for a cigarette. I lit it and
chuckled again.
I'm just back. You have been here all along, I said. Which
one hates me the most these days?
That is an embarrassing question, Corwin, he stated. Everyone's
down on you for something. Ordinarily, I would nominate Julian. Only it doesn't
seem to hold up here.
Why not?
He and Caine got along very well. For years now. They had
been looking out for each other, hanging around together. Pretty thick. Julian
is cold and petty and just as nasty as you remember. But if he liked anybody,
he liked Caine. I don't think he'd do it to him, not even to get at you. After
all, he probably could have found plenty of other ways if that was all he
wanted.
I sighed.
Who's next?
I don't know. I just don't know.
Okay. How do you read the reactions to this?
You're screwed, Corwin. Everyone is going to think you did
it, no matter what you say.
I nodded at the corpse. Random shook his head.
That could easily be some poor clod you dug up out of
Shadow to take the blame.
I know, I said. Funny, coming back to Amber as I did, I
arrived at an ideal time for positioning myself advantageously.
A perfect time, Random agreed. You didn't even have to
kill Eric to get what you wanted. That was a stroke of luck.
Yes. Still, it is no secret that that is what I came to do,
and it is only a matter of time before my troops-foreign, specially armed, and
quartered here-are going to start provoking some very bad feelings. Only the
presence of an external threat has saved me from that so far. And then there
are the things I am suspected of having done before my return-like murdering
Benedict's retainers. Now this...
Yes, Random said, I saw it coming as soon as you told me.
When you and Bleys attacked years ago, Gerard deployed part of the fleet so
that it was out of your way. Caine, on the other hand, engaged you with his
vessels and scuttled you. Now that he is gone, I imagine you will put Gerard in
command of the entire fleet.
Who else? He is the only man for the job.
Nevertheless...
Nevertheless. Admitted. If I were going to kill anyone
person to strengthen my position, Caine would be the logical choice. That's the
real, damning truth.
How do you propose handling this?
Tell everyone what happened and try to discover who was
behind it. Have you any better suggestions?
I've been trying to think how I could alibi you. But it
does not look promising.
I shook my head.
You are too close to me. No matter how good we made it
sound, it would probably have the opposite effect.
Have you considered admitting to it?
Yes. But self-defense is out. With a cut throat, it had to
be a matter of surprise. And I have no stomach for starting off with the
alternative: hoke up some evidence that he was up to something rotten and say I
did it for the good of Amber. I flatly refuse to take on fake guilt under those
terms. I'd wind up with a bad odor that way, too.
But with a real tough reputation.
It's the wrong kind of tough for the sort of show I want to
run. No, that's out.
That covers everything, then-just about.
What do you mean 'just about'?
He studied his left thumbnail through slitted eyes.
Well, it occurs to me that if there is anyone else you are
anxious to get out of the picture, now is the time to consider that a frame can
often be shifted.
I thought about it and finished my cigarette.
Not bad, I said, but I can't spare any more brothers at
the moment. Not even Julian. Anyhow, he's the least frameable.
It need not be family, he said. Plenty of noble Amberites
around with possible motives. Take Sir Reginald
Forget it. Random The reframing is out, too.
Okay. I've exhausted my little gray cells, then.
Not the ones in charge of memory, I hope.
All right.
He sighed. He stretched. He got to his feet, stepped over
the room's other occupant, and made his way to the window. Drawing back the
drapes, he stared out for a time.
All right, he repeated. There's a lot to tell...
Then he remembered out loud.
CHAPTER 2
While sex heads a great number of lists, we all have other
things we like to do in between. With me, Corwin, it's drumming, being up in
the air, and gambling-in no special order. Well, maybe soaring has a little
edge-in gliders, balloons, and certain variations-but mood has a lot to do with
that too, you know. I mean, ask me another time and I might say one of the
others. Depends on what you want most at the moment.
Anyway, I was here in Amber some years ago. Not doing much
of anything. Just visiting and being a nuisance. Dad was still around, and when
I noticed that he was getting into one of his grumpy moods, I decided it was
time to take a walk. A long one. I had often noticed that his fondness for me
tended to increase as an inverse function of my proximity. He gave me a fancy
riding crop for a going-away present-to hasten the process of affection, I
suppose. Still, it was a very nice crop-silver-chased, beautifully tooled-and I
made good use of it. I had decided to go looking for an assemblage of all my
simple pleasures in one small nook of Shadow.
It was a long ride-I will not bore you with the details-and
it was pretty far from Amber, as such things go. This time, I was not looking
for a place where I would be especially important. That can get either boring
or difficult fairly quickly, depending on how responsible you want to be. I
wanted to be an irresponsible nonentity and just enjoy myself.
Texorami was a wide open port city, with sultry days and
long nights, lots of good music, gambling around the clock, duels every morning
and in-between mayhem for those who couldn't wait. And the air currents were
fabulous. I had a little red sail plane I used to go sky surfing in, every
couple of days. It was the good life. I played drums till all hours in a
basement spot up the river where the walls sweated almost as much as the
customers and the smoke used to wash around the lights like streams of milk. When
I was done playing I'd go find some action, women, or cards, usually. And that
was it for the rest of the night. Damn Eric, anywayl That reminds me again...
He once accused me of cheating at cards, did you know that? And that's about
the only thing I wouldn't cheat at. I take my card playing seriously. I'm good
and I'm also lucky. Eric was neither. The trouble with him was that he was good
at so many things he wouldn't admit even to himself that there were some things
other people could do better. If you kept beating him at anything you had to be
cheating. He started a nasty argument over it one night-could have gotten
serious-but Gerard and Caine broke it up. Give Caine that. He took my part that
time. Poor guy... Hell of a way to go, you know? His throat... Well, anyhow,
there I was in Texorami, making music and women, winning at cards and jockeying
around the sky. Palm trees and night-blooming wallflowers. Lots of good port
smells-spices, coffee, tar, salt-you know. Gentlefolk, merchants, and peons-the
same straights as in most other places. Sailors and assorted travelers passing
in and out. Guys like me living around the edges of things. I spent a little
over two years in Texorami, happy. Really. Not much contact with the others.
Sort of postcard like hellos via the Trumps every now and then, and that was
about it. Amber was pretty much off my mind. All this changed one night when I
was sitting there with a full house and the guy across from me was trying to
make up his mind whether or not I was bluffing.
The Jack of Diamonds began talking to me.
Yes, that is how it started. I was in a weird frame of mind
anyway. I had just finished a couple very hot sets and was still kind of high. Also,
I was physically strung out from a long day's gliding and not much sleep the
night before. I decided later that it must be our mental quirk associated with
the Trumps that made me see it that way when someone was trying to reach me and
I had cards in my hand-any cards. Ordinarily, of course, we get the message
empty-handed, unless we are doing the calling. It could have been that my
subconscious-which was kind of footloose at the time-just seized on the
available props out of habit Later, though, I had cause to wonder. Really, I
just don't know.
The Jack said, Random. Then its face blurred and it said,
Help me. I began getting a feel of the personality by then, but it was weak. The
whole thing was very weak. Then the face rearranged itself and I saw that I was
right. It was Brand. He looked like hell, and he seemed to be chained or tied
to something. Help me, he said again. I'm here, I said. What's the
matter? ...prisoner, he said, and something else that I couldn't make out. Where?
I asked.
He shook his head at that.
Can't bring you through, he said. No Trumps, and I am too
weak. You will have to come the long way around...
I did not ask him how he was managing it without my Trump. Finding
out where he was seemed of first importance. I asked him how I could locate
him.
Look very closely, he said. Remember every feature. I may
only be able to show you once. Come armed, too...
Then I saw the landscape-over his shoulder, out a window,
over a battlement, I can't be sure. It was far from Amber, somewhere where the
shadows go mad. Farther than I like to go. Stark, with shifting colors. Fiery.
Day without a sun in the sky. Rocks that glided like sailboats across the land.
Brand there in some sort of tower-a small point of stability in that flowing
scene. I remembered it, all right. And I remembered the presence coiled about
the base of that tower. Brilliant. Prismatic. Some sort of watch-thing, it
seemed-too bright for me to make out its outline, to guess its proper size. Then
it all just went away. Instant off. And there I was, staring at the Jack of
Diamonds again, with the guy across from me not knowing whether to be mad at my
long distraction or concerned that I might be having some sort of sick spell.
I closed up shop with that hand and went home. I lay
stretched out on my bed, smoking and thinking. Brand had still been in Amber
when I had departed. Later, though, when I had asked after him, no one had any
idea as to his whereabouts. He had been having one of his melancholy spells,
had snapped out of it one day and ridden off. And that was that. No messages
either-either way. He wasn't answering, he wasn't talking.
I tried to figure every angle. He was smart, damn smart.
Possibly the best mind in the family. He was in trouble and he had called me.
Eric and Gerard were more the heroic types and would probably have welcomed the
adventure. Caine would have gone out of curiosity, I think. Julian, to look
better than the rest of us and to score points with Dad. Or, easiest of all,
Brand could have called Dad himself. Dad would have done something about it.
But he had called me. Why?
It occurred to me then that maybe one or more of the others
had been responsible for his circumstances. If, say, Dad was beginning to favor
him... Well. You know. Eliminate the positive. And if he did call Dad, he would
look like a weakling.
So I suppressed my impulse to yell for reinforcements. He
had called me, and it was quite possible that I would be cutting his throat by
letting anyone back in Amber in on the fact that he had gotten the message out.
Okay. What was in it for me?
If it involved the succession and he had truly become
fair-haired, I figured that I could do a lot worse than give him this to
remember me by. And if it did not... There were all sorts of other
possibilities. Perhaps he had stumbled onto something going on back home,
something it would be useful to know about. I was even curious as to the means
he had employed for bypassing the Trumps. So it was curiosity, I'd say, that
made me decide to go it alone and try to rescue him.
I dusted off my own Trumps and tried reaching him again. As
you might expect, there was no response. I got a good night's sleep then and
tried one more time in the morning. Again, nothing. Okay, no sense waiting any
longer.
I cleaned up my blade, ate a big meal, and got into some
rugged clothes. I also picked up a pair of dark, polaroid goggles. Didn't know
how they would work there, but that warden-thing had been awfully bright-and it
never hurts to try anything extra you can think of. For that matter, I also
took a gun. I had a feeling it would be worthless, and I was right. But, like I
said, you never know till you try.
The only person I said good-bye to was another drummer,
because I stopped to give him my set before I left. I knew he'd take good care
of them.
Then I went on down to the hangar, got the sail plane ready,
went aloft, and caught a proper current. It seemed a neat way to do it.
I don't know whether you've ever glided through Shadow,
but-No? Well, I headed out over the sea till the land was only a dim line to
the north. Then I had the waters go cobalt beneath me, rear up and shake
sparkly beards. The wind shifted. I turned. I raced the waves shoreward beneath
a darkening sky. Texorami was gone when I returned to the rivermouth, replaced
by miles of swamp. I rode the currents inward, crossing and recrossing the
river at new twists and kinks it had acquired. Gone were the piers, the trails,
the traffic. The trees were high.
Clouds massed in the west, pink and pearl and yellow. The
sun phased from orange through red to yellow. You shake your head? The sun was
the price of the cities, you see. In a hurry, I depopulate-or, rather, go the
elemental route. At that altitude artifacts would have been distracting.
Shading and texture becomes everything for me. That's what I meant about
gliding it being a bit different.
So, I bore to the west till the woods gave way to surface
green, which quickly faded, dispersed, broke to brown, tan, yellow. Light and
crumbly then, splotched. The price of that was a storm. I rode it out as much
as I could, till the lightnings forked nearby and I feared that the gusts were
getting to be too much for the little glider. I toned it down fast then, but
got more green below as a result. Still, I pulled it out of the storm with a
yellow sun firm and bright at my back. After a time, I got it to go desert
beneath me again, stark and rolling.
Then the sun shrank and strands of cloud whipped past its
face, erasing it bit by bit. That was the shortcut that took me farther from
Amber than I had been in a long while.
No sun then, but the light remained, just as bright but
eerie now, directionless. It tricked my eyes, it screwed up perspective. I
dropped lower, limiting my range of vision. Soon large rocks came into view,
and I fought for the shapes I remembered. Gradually, these occurred.
The buckling, flowing effect was easier to achieve under
these conditions, but its production was physically disconcerting. It made it
even more difficult to judge my effectiveness in guiding the glider. I got
lower than I thought I was and almost collided with one of the rocks. Finally,
though, the smokes rose and flames danced about as I remembered them-conforming
to no particular pattern, just emerging here and there from crevasses, holes,
cave mouths. Colors began to misbehave as I recalled from my brief view. Then
came the actual motion of the rocks-drifting, sailing, like rudderless boats in
a place where they wring out rainbows.
By then, the air currents had gone crazy. One updraft after
another, like fountains, I fought them as best I could, but knew I could not
hold things together much longer at that altitude. I rose a considerable
distance, forgetting everything for a time while trying to stabilize the craft.
When I looked down again, it was like viewing a free-form regatta of black
icebergs. The rocks were racing around, clashing together, backing off,
colliding again, spinning, arcing across the open spaces, passing among one
another. Then I was slammed about, forced down, forced up-and I saw a strut
give way. I gave the shadows their final nudge, then looked again. The tower
had appeared in the distance, something brighter than ice or aluminum stationed
at its base.
That final push had done it. I realized that just as I felt
the winds start a particularly nasty piece of business. Then several cables
snapped and I was on my way down-like riding a waterfall. I got the nose up,
brought it in low and wild, saw where we were headed, and jumped at the last
moment. The poor glider was pulverized by one of those peripatetic monoliths. I
felt worse about that than I did about the scrapes, rips, and lumps I
collected.
Then I had to move quickly, because a hill was racing toward
me. We both veered, fortunately in different directions. I hadn't the faintest
notion as to their motive force, and at first I could see no pattern to their
movements. The ground varied from warm to extremely hot underfoot, and along
with the smoke and occasional jets of flame, nasty-smelling gases were escaping
from numerous openings in the ground. I hurried toward the tower, following a
necessarily irregular course.
It took a long while to cover the distance. Just how long, I
was uncertain, as I had no way of keeping track of the time. By then, though, I
was beginning to notice some interesting regularities. First, the larger stones
moved at a greater velocity than the smaller ones. Second, they seemed to be
orbiting one another-cycles within cycles within cycles, larger about smaller,
none of them ever still. Perhaps the prime mover was a dust mote or a single
molecule-somewhere. I had neither time nor desire to indulge in any attempt to
determine the center of the affair. Keeping this in mind, I did manage to
observe as I went, though, enough so that I was able to anticipate a number of
their collisions well in advance.
So Childe Random to the dark tower came, yeah, gun in one
hand, blade in the other. The goggles hung about my neck. With all the smoke
and confused lighting, I wasn't about to don them until it became absolutely
necessary.
Now, whatever the reason, the rocks avoided the tower. While
it seemed to stand on a hill, I realized as I approached that it would be more
correct to say that the rocks had scooped out an enormous basin just short of
it. I could not tell from my side, however, whether the effect was that of an
island or a peninsula.
I dashed through the smoke and rubble, avoiding the jets of
flame that leaped from the cracks and holes. Finally I scrambled up the slope,
removing myself from the courseway. Then for several moments I clung at a spot
just below any line of sight from the tower. I checked my weapons, controlled
my breathing, and put on the goggles. Everything set, I went over the top and
came up into a crouch.
Yes, the shades worked. And yes, the beast was waiting.
It was a fright all right, because in some ways it was kind
of beautiful. It had a snake body as big around as a barrel, with a head sort
of like a massive claw hammer, but kind of tapered to the snout end. Eyes of a
very pale green. And it was clear as glass, with very faint, fine lines seeming
to indicate scales. Whatever flowed in its veins was reasonably clear, also.
You could look right into it and see its organs-opaque or cloudy as the case
might be. You could almost be distracted by watching the thing function. And it
had a dense mane, like bristles of glass, about the head and collaring its
gullet. Its movement when it saw me, raised that head and slivered forward, was
like flowing water-living water, it seemed, a bedless river without banks. What
almost froze me, though, was that I could see into its stomach. There was a
partly digested man in it I raised the gun, aimed at the nearest eye, and
squeezed the trigger.
I already told you it didn't work. So I threw the gun,
leaped to my left, and sprang in on its right side, going for its eye with my
blade.
You know how hard it can be to kill things built along
reptilian lines. I decided immediately to try to blind the thing and hack off
its tongue as the first order of business. Then, being more than a little fast
on my feet, I might have any number of chances to lay in some good ones about
the head until I decapitated it. Then let it tie itself in knots till it
stopped. I was hoping, too, that it might be sluggish because it was still
digesting someone.
If it was sluggish then, I was glad that I hadn't stopped by
earlier. It drew its head out of the path of my blade and snapped down over it
while I was still off balance. That snout glanced across my chest, and it did
feel as if I had been hit by a massive hammer. It knocked me sprawling.
I kept on rolling to get out of range, coming up short near
the edge of the embankment. I recovered my footing there while it unwound
itself, dragged a lot of weight in my direction, and then reared up and cocked
its head again, about fifteen feet above me.
I know damn well that Gerard would have chosen that moment
to attack. The big bastard would have strode forward with that monster blade of
his and cut the thing in half. Then it probably would have fallen on him and
writhed all over him, and he'd have come away with a few bruises. Maybe a
bloody nose. Benedict would not have missed the eve. He would have had one in
each pocket by then and be playing football with the head while composing a
footnote to Clausewitz. But they are genuine hero types. Me, I just stood there
holding the blade point upward, both hands on the hilt, my elbows on my hips,
my head as far back out of the way as possible. I would much rather have run
and called it a day. Only I knew that if I tried it, that head would drop down
and smear me.
Cries from within the tower indicated that I had been
spotted, but I was not about to look away to see what was going on. Then I
began cursing the thing. I wanted it to strike and get it over with, one way or
the other.
When it finally did, I shuffled my feet, twisted my body,
and swung the point into line with my target.
My left side was partly numbed by the blow, and I felt as if
I had been driven a foot into the ground.
Somehow I managed to remain upright. Yes, I had done
everything perfectly. The maneuver had gone exactly as I had hoped and planned.
Except for the beast's part. It wasn't cooperating by
producing the appropriate death throes. In fact, it was beginning to rise.
It took my blade with it, too. The hilt protruded from its
left eye socket, the point emerged like another bristle amid the mane on the
back of its head. I had a feeling that the offensive team had had it.
At that moment, figures began to emerge-slowly,
cautiously-from an opening at the base of the tower. They were armed and
ugly-looking, and I had a feeling that they were not on my side of the
disagreement.
Okay. I know when it is time to fold and hope for a better
hand another day.
Brand! I shouted. It's Random! I can't get through!
Sorry!
Then I turned, ran, and leaped back over the edge, down into
the place where the rocks did their unsettling things. I wondered whether I had
chosen the best time to descend.
Like so many things, the answer was yes and no.
It was not the sort of jump I would make for many reasons
other than those which prevailed. I came down alive, but that seemed the most
that could be said for it. I was stunned, and for a long while I thought I had
broken my ankle.
The thing that got me moving again was a rustling sound from
above and the rattle of gravel about me. When I readjusted the goggles and
looked up, I saw that the beast had decided to come down and finish the job. It
was winding its phantom way down the slope, the area about its head having
darkened and opaqued since I had skewered it upstairs.
I sat up. I got to my knees. I tried my ankle, couldn't use
it. Nothing around to serve as a crutch, either. Okay. I crawled then. Away.
What else was there to do? Gain as much ground as I could and think hard while
I was about it.
Salvation was a rock-one of the smaller, slower ones, only
about the size of a moving van. When I saw it approaching, it occurred to me
that here was transportation if I could make it aboard. Maybe some safety, too.
The faster, really massive ones appeared to get the most abuse.
This in mind, I watched the big ones that accompanied my
own, estimated their paths and velocities, tried to gauge the movement of the
entire system, readied myself for the moment, the effort. I also listened to
the approach of the beast, heard the cries of the troops from the edge of the
bluff, wondered whether anyone up there was giving odds on me and what they
might be if they were.
When the time came, I went. I got past the first big one
without any trouble, but had to wait for the next one to go by. I took a chance
in crossing the path of the final one. Had to, to make it in time.
I made it to the right spot at the right moment caught on to
the holds I had been eyeing, and was dragged maybe twenty feet before I could
pull myself up off the ground. Then I hauled my way to its uncomfortable top,
sprawled there, and looked back.
It had been close. Still was, for that matter, as the beast
was pacing me, its one good eye following the spinning big ones.
From overhead I heard a disappointed wail. Then the guys
started down the slope, shouting what I took to be encouragement to the
creature. I commenced massaging my ankle. I tried to relax. The brute crossed
over, passing behind the first big rock as it completed another orbit.
How far could I shift through Shadow before it reached me? I
wondered. True, there was constant movement, a changing of textures...
The thing waited for the second rock, slithered by behind
it, paced me again, drew nearer. Shadow, Shadow, on the wing
The men were almost to the base of the slope by then. The
beast was waiting for its opening-the next time around-past the inner
satellite. I knew that it was capable of rearing high enough to snatch me from
my perch. -Come alive and smear that thing?
As I spun and glided I caught hold of the stuff of Shadow,
sank into the feel of it, worked with the textures, possible to probable to
actual, felt it coming with the finest twist, gave it that necessary flip at
the appropriate moment...
It came in from the beast's blind side, of course. A big
mother of a rock, careening along like a semi out of control...
It would have been more elegant to mash it between two of
them. However, I hadn't the time for finesse. I simply ran it over and left it
there, thrashing in the granite traffic.
Moments later, however, inexplicably, the mashed and mangled
body rose suddenly above the ground and drifted skyward, twisting. It kept
going, buffeted by the winds, dwindling, dwindling, gone.
My own rock bore me away, slowly, steadily. The entire
pattern was drifting. The guys from the tower then went into a huddle and
decided to pursue me. They moved away from the base of the slope, began to make
their way across the plain. But this was no real problem, I felt. I would ride
my stony mount through Shadow, leaving them worlds away. This was by far the
easiest course of action open to me. They would doubtless have been more
difficult to take by surprise than the beast. After all, this was their land;
they were wary and unmaimed.
I removed the goggles and tested my ankle again. I stood for
a moment. It was very sore, but it bore my weight. I reclined once more and
tamed my thoughts to what had occurred. I had lost my blade and I was now in
less than top shape. Rather than go on with the venture under these conditions,
I knew that I was doing the safest, wisest thing by getting the hell out. I had
gained enough knowledge of the layout and the conditions for my chances to be
better next time around. All right...
The sky brightened above me, the colors and shadings lost
something of their arbitrary, meandering habit. The flames began to subside
about me. Good. Clouds started to find their ways across the sky. Excellent.
Soon a localized glow began behind a cloudbank. Superb. When it went away, a
sun would hang once again in the heavens.
I looked back and was surprised to see that I was still
being pursued. However, it could easily be that I had not dealt properly with
their analogues for this slice of Shadow. It is never good to assume that you
have taken care of everything when you are in a hurry. So...
I shifted again. The rock gradually altered its course,
shifted its shape, lost its satellites, moved in a straight line toward what
was to become the west. Above me, the clouds dispersed and a pale sun shone
down. We picked up speed. That should have taken care of everything right
there. I had positively come into a different place.
But it had not. When I looked again, they were still coming.
True, I had gained some distance on them. But the party trooped right along
after me.
Well, all right Things like that can sometimes happen. There
were of course two possibilities. My mind still being more than a little
disturbed from all that had just occurred, I had not performed ideally and had
drawn them along with me. Or, I had maintained a constant where I should have
suppressed a variable-that is, shifted into a place and unconsciously required
that the pursuit element be present. Different guys then, but still chasing me.
I rubbed my ankle some more. The sun brightened toward
orange. A wind out of the north raised a screen of dust and sand and hung it at
my back, removing the gang from my sight. I raced on into the west, where a
line of mountains had now grown up. Time was in a distortion phase. My ankle
felt a little better.
I rested a while. Mine was reasonably comfortable, as rocks
go. No sense turning it into a hellride when everything seemed to be proceeding
smoothly. I stretched out, hands behind my head, and watched the mountains draw
nearer. I thought about Brand and the tower. That was the place all right. Everything
was just as it had been in the glimpse he had given me. Except for the guards,
of course. I decided that I would cut through the proper piece of Shadow,
recruit a cohort of my own, then go back and give them hell. Yes, then
everything would be fine...,
After a time, I stretched, rolled over onto my stomach, and
looked back. Damned if they weren't still following me! They had even gained
some.
Naturally, I got angry. To hell with flight! They were
asking for it, and it was time they got it
I rose to my feet. My ankle was only half sore, a little
numb. I raised my arms and looked for the shadows I wanted. I found them.
Slowly the rock swung out from its straight course into an
arc, turning off to the right. The curve tightened. I swung through a parabola
and headed back toward them, my velocity gradually increasing as I went. No
time to raise a storm at my back, though I thought that would have been a nice
touch if I could have managed it.
As I swept down upon them-there were maybe two dozen-they
prudently began to scatter. A number of them didn't make it, though. I swung
through another curve and returned as soon as I could.
I was shaken by the sight of several corpses rising into the
air, dripping gore, two of them already high above me.
I was almost upon them on that second pass when I realized
that a few of them had jumped aboard as I had gone through. The first one over
the edge drew his blade and rushed me. I blocked his arm, took the weapon away
from him, and threw him back down. I guess it was then that I became aware of
those spurs on the backs of their hands. I had been slashed by his.
By that time I was the target of a number of curiously
shaped missiles from below, two more guys were coming over the edge, and it
looked as if several more might have made it aboard.
Well, even Benedict sometimes retreats. I had at least given
the survivors something to remember.
I let go of the shadows, tore a barbed wheel from my side,
another from my thigh, hacked off a guy's swordarm and kicked him in the
stomach, dropped to my knees to avoid a wild swing from the next one, and
caught him across the legs with my riposte. He went over, too.
There were five more on the way up and we were sailing
westward once again, leaving perhaps a dozen live ones to regroup on the sand
at my back, a sky full of oozing drifters above them.
I had the advantage with the next fellow because I caught
him just partway over the edge. So much for him, and then there were four.
While I had been dealing with him, though, three more had
arisen, simultaneously, at three different points.
I rushed the nearest and dispatched him, but the other two
made it over and were upon me while I was about it. As I defended myself from their
attack, the final one came up and joined them.
They were not all that good, but it was getting crowded and
there were a lot of points and sharp edges straying about me. I kept parrying
and moving, trying to get them to block one another, get in each other's way. I
was partly successful, and when I had the best lineup I thought I was going to
get, I rushed them, taking a couple of cuts-I had to lay myself open a bit to
do it-but splitting one skull for my pains. He went over the edge and took the
second one with him in a tangle of limbs and gear.
Unfortunately, the inconsiderate lout had carried off my
blade, snagged in some bony cleft or other he had chosen to interpose when I
swung. It was obviously my day for losing blades, and I wondered if my horoscope
would have mentioned it if I had thought to look before I'd set out.
Anyhow, I moved quickly to avoid the final guy's swing. In
doing so, I slipped on some blood and went skidding toward the front of the
rock. If I went down that way, it would plow right over me, leaving a very flat
Random there, like an exotic rug, to puzzle and delight future wayfarers.
I clawed for handholds as I slid, and the guy took a couple
of quick steps toward me, raising his blade to do unto me as I had his buddy.
I caught hold of his ankle, though, and it did the trick of
braking me very nicely-and damned if someone shouldn't choose that moment to
try to get hold of me via the Trumps.
I'm busyl I shouted. Call back later! and my own motion
was arrested as the guy toppled, clattered, and went sliding by.
I tried to reach him before he fell to rugdom, but I was not
quite quick enough. I had wanted to save him for questioning. Still, my
unegged beer was more than satisfactory. I headed back top and center to
observe and muse.
The survivors were still following me, but I had a
sufficient lead. I did not at the moment have to worry about another boarding
party. Good enough. I was headed toward the mountains once again. The sun I had
conjured was beginning to bake me. I was soaked with sweat and blood. My wounds
were giving me trouble. I was thirsty. Soon, soon, I decided, it would have to
rain. Take care of that before anything else.
So I began the preliminaries to a shift in that direction:
clouds massing, building, darkening...
I drifted off somewhere along the line, had a disjointed
dream of someone trying to reach me again but not making it. Sweet darkness.
I awakened to the rain, sudden and hard-driving. I could not
tell whether the darkness in the sky was from storm, evening, or both. It was
cooler, though, and I spread my cloak and just lay there with my mouth open. Periodically
I wrung moisture from the cloak. My thirst was eventually slaked and I began
feeling clean again. The rock had also become so slick-looking that I was
afraid to move about on it. The mountains were much nearer, their peaks limned
by frequent lightnings. Things were too dark in the opposite direction for me
to tell whether my pursuers were still with me. It would have been pretty rough
trekking for them to have kept up, but then it is seldom good policy to rely on
assumptions when traveling through strange shadows. I was a bit irritated with
myself for going to sleep, but since no harm had come of it I drew my soggy
cloak about me and decided to forgive myself. I felt around for some cigarettes
I had brought along and found that about half of them had survived. After the
eighth try, I juggled shadows enough to get a light. Then I just sat there,
smoking and being rained on. It was a good feeling and I didn't move to change
anything else, not for hours.
When the storm finally let up and the sky came clear, it was
a night full of strange constellations. Beautiful though, the way nights can be
on the desert. Much later, I detected a gentle upward sloping and my rock
started to slow. Something began happening in terms of whatever physical rules
controlled the situation. I mean, the slope itself did not seem so pronounced
that it would affect our velocity as radically as it had. I did not want to
tamper with Shadow in a direction that would probably take me out of my way. I
wanted to get back onto more familiar turf as soon as possible-find my way to a
place where my gut anticipations of physical events had more of a chance of
being correct.
So I let the rock grind to a halt, climbed down when it did,
and continued on up the slope, hiking. As I went, I played the Shadow game we
all learned as children. Pass some obstruction-a scrawny tree, a stand of
stone-and have the sky be different from one side to the other. Gradually I
restored familiar constellations. I knew that I would be climbing down a
different mountain from the one I ascended. My wounds still throbbed dully, but
my ankle had stopped bothering me except for a little stiffness. I was rested.
I knew that I could go for a long while. Everything seemed to be all right
again.
It was a long hike, up the gradually steepening way. But I
hit a trail eventually, and that made things easier. I trudged steadily upward
under the now familiar skies, determined to keep moving and make it across by
morning. As I went, my garments altered to fit the shadow-denim trousers and
jacket now, my wet cloak a dry scrape. I heard an owl nearby, and from a great
distance below and behind came what might have been the yipyip-howl of a
coyote. These signs of a more familiar place made me feel somewhat secure,
exorcised any vestiges of desperation that remained with my flight an hour or
so later, I yielded to the temptation to play with Shadow just a bit. It was
not all that improbable for a stray horse to be wandering in these hills, and
of course I found him. After ten or so minutes of becoming friendly, I was
mounted bareback and moving toward the top in a more congenial fashion. The
wind sowed frost in our path. The moon came and sparked it to life.
To be brief, I rode all night, passing over the crest and
commencing my downward passage well before dawn. As I descended, the mountain
grew even more vast above me, which of course was the best time for this to
occur. Things were green on this side of the range, and divided by neat
highways, punctuated by occasional dwellings. Everything therefore was
proceeding in accordance with my desire.
Early morning. I was into the foothills and my denim had
turned to khaki and a bright shirt. I had a light sport jacket slung before me.
At a great height, a jetliner poked holes in the air, moving from horizon to
horizon. There were birdsongs about me, and the day was mild, sunny.
It was about then that I heard my name spoken and felt the
touch of the Trump once more. I drew up short and responded.
Yes?
It was Julian.
Random, where are you? he asked.
Pretty far from Amber, I replied. Why?
Have any of the others been in touch with you?
Not recently, I said. But someone did try to get hold of
me yesterday. I was busy though, and couldn't talk
That was me, he said. We have a situation here that you
had better know about.
Where are you? I asked.
In Amber. A number of things have happened recently.
Like what?
Dad has been gone for an unusually long time. No one blows
where.
He's done that before.
But not without leaving instructions and making
delegations. He always provided them in the past.
True, I said. But how long is long?
Well over a year. You weren't aware of this at all?
I knew that he was gone. Gerard mentioned it some time
back.
Then add more time to that.
I get the idea. How have you been operating?
That is the problem. We have simply been dealing with
affairs as they arise. Gerard and Caine had been running the navy anyway, on
Dad's orders. Without him, they have been making all their own decisions. I
took charge of the patrols in Arden again. There is no central authority
though, to arbitrate, to make policy decisions, to speak for all of Amber.
So we need a regent. We can cut cards for it, I suppose.
It is not that simple. We think Dad is dead.
Dead? Why? How?
We have tried to raise him on his Trump. We have been
trying every day for over half a year now. Nothing. What do you think?
I nodded.
He may be dead, I said. You'd think he would have come
across with something. Still, the possibility of his being in some trouble-say,
a prisoner somewhere-is not precluded.
A cell can't stop the Trumps. Nothing can. He would call
for help the minute we made contact.
I can't argue with that, I said. But I thought of Brand as
I said it. Perhaps he is deliberately resisting contact, though.
What for?
I have no idea, but it is possible. You know how secretive
he is about some things.
No, Julian said, it doesn't hold up. He would have given
some operating instructions, somewhere along the line.
Well, whatever the reasons, whatever the situation, what do
you propose doing now?
Someone has to occupy the throne, he said.
I had seen it coming throughout the entire dialogue, of
course-the opportunity it had long seemed would never come to pass.
Who? I asked.
Eric seems the best choice, he replied. Actually, he has
been acting in that capacity for months now. It simply becomes a matter of
formalizing it.
Not Just as regent?
Not just as regent.
I see... Yes, I guess that things have been happening in my
absence. What about Benedict as a choice?
He seems to be happy where he is, off somewhere in Shadow.
What does he think of the whole idea?
He is not entirely in favor of it. But we do not believe he
will offer resistance. It would disrupt things too much.
I see, I said again. And Bleys?
He and Eric had some rather heated discussions of the
issue, but the troops do not take their orders from Bleys. He left Amber about
three months ago. He could cause some trouble later. But then, we are
forewarned.
Gerard? Caine?
They will go along with Eric. I was wondering about
yourself.
What about the girls? He shrugged.
They tend to take things lying down. No problem.
I don't suppose Corwin...
Nothing new. He's dead. We all know it. His monument has
been gathering dust and ivy for centuries. If not, then he has intentionally
divorced himself from Amber forever. Nothing there. Now I am wondering where
you stand.
I chuckled.
I am hardly in a position to possess forceful opinions, I
said.
We need to know now.
I nodded.
I have always been able to detect the quarter of the wind,
I said. I do not sail against it.
He smiled and returned my nod.
Very good, he said.
When is the coronation? I assume that I am invited.
Of course, of course. But the date has not yet been set. There
are still a few minor matters to be dealt with. As soon as the affair is
calendared, one of us will contact you again.
Thank you, Julian.
Good-bye for now. Random.
And I sat there being troubled for a long while before I
started on downward again. How long had Eric spent engineering it? I wondered.
Much of the politicking back in Amber could have been done pretty quickly, but
the setting up of the situation in the first place seemed the product of
long-term thinking and planning. I was naturally suspicious as to his
involvement in Brand's predicament. I also could not help but give some thought
to the possibility of his having a hand in Dad's disappearance. That would have
taken some doing and have required a really foolproof trap. But the more I
thought of it, the less I was willing to put it past him. I even dredged up
some old speculations as to his part in your own passing, Corwin. But, offhand,
I could not think of a single thing to do about any of it. Go along with it, I
figured, if that's where the power was. Stay in his good graces.
Still... One should always get more than one angle on a
story. I tried to make up my mind as to who would give me a good one. While I
was thinking along these lines, something caught my eye as I glanced back and
up, appreciating anew the heights from which I had not quite descended.
There were a number of riders up near the top. They had
apparently traversed the same trail I had taken. I could not get an exact nose
count, but it seemed suspiciously close to a dozen-a fairly sizable group to be
out riding at just that place and time. As I saw that they were proceeding on
down the same way that I had come, I had a prickly feeling along the base of my
neck. What if... ? What if they were the same guys? Because I felt that they
were.
Individually, they were no match for me. Even a couple of
them together had not made that great a showing. That was not it. The real
chiller was that if that's who it was, then we were not alone in our ability to
manipulate Shadow in a very sophisticated fashion. It meant that someone else
was capable of a stunt that for all my life I had thought to be the sole
property of our family. Add to this the fact that they were Brand's wardens,
and their designs on the family-at least part of it-did not look all that
clement. I perspired suddenly at the notion of enemies who could match our
greatest power.
Of course, they were too far off for me to really know just
then whether that was truly who it was. But you have to explore every
contingency if you want to keep winning the survival game. Could Eric have
found or trained or created some special beings to serve him in this particular
capacity? Along with you and Eric, Brand had one of the firmest claims on the
succession... not to take anything away from your case, damn it! Hell! You know
what I mean. I have to talk about it to show you how I was thinking at the
time. That's all. So, Brand had had the basis for a pretty good claim if he had
been in a position to press it. You being out of the picture, he was Eric's
chief rival when it came to adding a legal touch to things. Putting that
together with his plight and the ability of those guys to traverse Shadow, Eric
came to look a lot more sinister to me. I was more scared by that thought than
I was by the riders themselves, though they did not exactly fill me with
delight. I decided that I had better do several things quickly: talk to someone
else in Amber, and have him take me through the Trump.
Okay. I decided quickly. Gerard seemed the safest choice. He
is reasonably open, neutral. Honest about most things. And from what Julian had
said, Gerard's role in the whole business seemed kind of passive. That is, he
was not going to resist Eric's move actively. He would not want to cause a lot
of trouble. Didn't mean he approved. He was probably just being safe and
conservative old Gerard. That decided, I reached for my deck of Trumps and
almost howled. They were gone.
I searched every pocket in every garment about me. I had
taken them along when I'd left Texorami. I could have lost them at any point in
the previous days action. I had certainly been battered and thrown about a lot.
And it had been a great day for losing things. I composed a complicated litany
of curses and dug my heels into the horse's sides. I was going to have to move
fast and think faster now. The first thing would be to get into a nice,
crowded, civilized place where an assassin of the more primitive sort would be
at a disadvantage.
As I hurried downhill, heading for one of the roads, I
worked with the stuff of Shadow-quite subtly this time, using every bit of
skill I could muster. There were just two things I desired at the moment: a
final assault on my possible trackers and a fast path to a place of sanctuary.
The world shimmered and did a final jig, becoming the
California I had been seeking. A rasping, growling noise reached my ears, for
the final touch I had intended. Looking back, I saw a section of cliff face
come loose, almost in slow motion, and slide directly toward the horsemen. A
while later, I had dismounted and was walking in the direction of the road, my
garments even fresher and of better quality. I was uncertain as to the time of
year, and I wondered what the weather was like in New York.
Before very long, the bus that I had anticipated approached
and I flagged it down. I located a window seat, smoked for a while, and watched
the countryside. After a time, I dozed.
I did not wake until early afternoon, when we pulled into a
terminal. I was ravenous by then, and decided I had better have something to
eat before getting a cab to the airport. So I bought three cheeseburgers and a
couple of malts with a few of my quondam Texorami greenbacks.
Getting served and eating took me maybe twenty minutes. Leaving
the snack bar, I saw that there were a number of taxis standing idle at the
stand out front. Before I picked one up, though, I decided to make an important
stop in the men's room.
At the very damnedest moment you can think of, six stalls
flew open behind my back and their occupants rushed me. There was no mistaking
the spurs on the backs of their hands, the oversized jaws, the smoldering eyes.
Not only had they caught up with me, they were now clad in the same acceptable
garb as anyone else in the neighborhood. Gone were any remaining doubts as to
their power over Shadow.
Fortunately, one of them was faster than the others. Also,
perhaps because of my size, they still might not have been fully aware of my
strength. I seized that first one high up on the arm, avoiding those hand
bayonets he sported, pulled him over in front of me, picked him up, and threw
him at the others. Then I just turned and ran. I broke the door on the way out.
I didn't even pause to zip up until I was in a taxi and had the driver burning
rubber.
Enough. It was no longer simple sanctuary that I had in
mind. I wanted to get hold of a set of Trumps and tell someone else in the
family about those guys. If they were Eric's creatures, the others ought to be
made aware of them. If they were not, then Eric ought to be told, too. If they
could make their way through Shadow like that, perhaps others could, also. Whatever
they represented might one day constitute a threat to Amber herself. Supposing-just
supposing-that no one back home was involved? What if Dad and Brand were the
victims of a totally unsuspected enemy? Then there was something big and
menacing afoot, and I had stepped right into it. That would be an excellent
reason for their hounding me this thoroughly. They would want me pretty badly.
My mind ran wild. They might even be harrying me toward some sort of a trap. No
need for the visible ones to be the only ones about.
I brought my emotions to heel. One by one, you must deal
with those things that come to hand, I told myself. That is all. Divorce the
feelings from the speculations, or at least provide for separate maintenance. This
is sister Flora's shadow. She lives on the other edge of the continent in a
place called Westchester. Get to a phone, get hold of information, and call
her. Tell her it is urgent and ask for sanctuary. She can't refuse you that,
even if she does hate your guts. Then jump a jet and get the hell over there. Speculate
on the way if you want, but keep cool now.
So I telephoned from the airport and you answered it,
Corwin. That was the variable that broke all the possible equations I had been
juggling-you suddenly showing up at that time, that place, that point in
events. I grabbed for it when you offered me protection, and not just because I
wanted protection. I could probably have taken those six guys out by myself. But
that was no longer it. I thought they were yours. I figured you had been lying
low all along, waiting for the right moment to move in. Now, I thought, you
were ready. This explains everything. You had taken out Brand and you were
about to use your Shadow-walking zombies for purposes of going back and
catching Eric with his pants down. I wanted to be on your side because I hated
Eric and because I knew you were a careful planner and you usually get what you
go after. I mentioned the pursuit by guys out of Shadow to see what you would
say. The fact that you said nothing didn't really prove anything, though. Either
you were being cagey, I figured, or you had no way of knowing where I had been.
I also thought of the possibility of walking into a trap of your devising, but
I was already in trouble and did not see that I was so important to the balance
of power that you would want to dispose of me. Especially if I offered my
support, which I was quite willing to do. So I flew on out. And damned if those
six didn't board later and follow me. Is he giving me an escort? I wondered.
Better not start making more assumptions. I shook them again when we landed,
and headed for Flora's place. Then I acted as if none of my guesses had
occurred, waiting to see what you would do. When you helped me dispose of the
guys, I was really puzzled. Were you genuinely surprised, or was it a put-on,
with you sacrificing a few of the troops to keep me ignorant of something? All
right, I decided, be ignorant, cooperate, see what he has in mind. I was a
perfect setup for that act you pulled to cover the condition of your memory. When
I did learn the truth, it was simply too late. We were headed for Rebma and
none of this would have meant anything to you. Later, I didn't care to tell
Eric anything after his coronation. I was his prisoner then and not exactly
kindly disposed toward him. It even occurred to me that my information might be
worth something one day-at least, my freedom again-if that threat ever
materialized. As for Brand, I doubt anyone would have believed me; and even if
someone did, I was the only one who knew how to reach that shadow. Could you
see Eric buying that as a reason for releasing me? He would have laughed and
told me to come up with a better story. And I never heard from Brand again.
None of the others seem to have heard from him either. Odds are he's dead by
nowI'd say. And that is the story I never got to tell you. You figure out what
it all means.
CHAPTER 3
I studied Random, remembering what a great card player he
was. By looking at his face, I could no more tell whether he was lying, in
whole or in part, than I could learn by scrutinizing the Jack of, say,
Diamonds. Nice touch, that part, too. There was enough of that kind of business
to his story to give it some feel of verisimilitude.
To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, I
said, I wish I had known this some time ago.
This was the first chance I really had to tell you, he
said.
True, I agreed. Unfortunately, it not only fails to
clarify things, it complicates the puzzle even more. Which is no mean trick.
Here we are with a black road running up to the foot of Kolvir. It passes
through Shadow, and things have succeeded in traversing it to beset Amber. We
do not know the exact nature of the forces behind it, but they are obviously
malign and they seem to be growing in strength. I have been feeling guilty about
it for some while now, because I see it as being tied in with my curse. Yes, I
laid one on us. Curse or no curse, though, everything eventually resolves into
some sort of tangibility that can be combatted. Which is exactly what we are
going to do. But all week long I have been trying to figure out Dara's part in
things. Who is she really? What is she? Why was she so anxious to try the
Pattern? How is it that she managed to succeed? And that final threat of
hers... 'Amber will be destroyed,' she said. It seems more than coincidental
that this occurred at the same time as the attack over the black road. I do not
see it as a separate thing, but as a part of the same cloth. And it all seems
to be tied in with the fact that there is a traitor somewhere here in Amber-Caine's
death, the notes... Someone here is either abetting an external enemy or is
behind the whole thing himself. Now you link it all up with Brand's
disappearance, by way of this guy. I nudged the corpse with my foot. It makes
it look as if Dad's death or absence is also a part of it. If that is the case,
though, it makes for a major conspiracy-with detail after detail having been
carefully worked out over a period of years.
Random explored a cupboard in the corner, produced a bottle
and a pair of goblets. He filled them and brought me one, then returned to his
chair. We drank a silent toast to futility.
Well, he said, plotting is the number-one pastime around
here, and everyone has had plenty of time, you know. We are both too young to
remember brothers Osric and Finndo, who died for the good of Amber. But the
impression I get from talking with Benedict
Yes, I said, that they had done more than wishful
thinking about the throne, and it became necessary that they die bravely for
Amber. I've heard that, too. Maybe so, maybe not. We'll never know for sure. Still...
Yes, the point is well taken, though almost unnecessary. I do not doubt that it
has been tried before. I do not put it past a number of us. Who, though? We
will be operating under a severe handicap until we find out. Any move that we
make externally will probably only be directed against a limb of the beast. Come
up with an idea.
Corwin, he said, to be frank about it, I could make a
case for it being anyone here-even myself, prisoner status and all. In fact,
something like that would be a great blind for it. I would have taken genuine
delight in looking helpless while actually pulling the strings that made all
the others dance. Any of us would, though. We all have our motives, our
ambitions. And over the years we all have had time and opportunity to lay a lot
of groundwork. No, that is the wrong way to go about it, looking for suspects. Everyone
here falls into that category. Let us decide instead what it is that would
distinguish such an individual, aside from motives, apart from opportunities. I
would say, let's look at the methods involved.
All right. Then you start.
Some one of us knows more than the rest of us about the
workings of Shadow-the ins and the outs, the whys and the hows. He also has
allies, obtained from somewhere fairly far afield. This is the combination he
has brought to bear upon Amber. Now, we have no way of looking at a person and
telling whether he possesses such special knowledge and skills. But let us consider
where he could have obtained them. It could be that he simply learned something
off in Shadow somewhere, on his own. Or he could have been studying all along,
here, while Dworkin was still alive and willing to give lessons.
I stared down into my glass. Dworkin could still be living. He
had provided my means of escape from the dungeons of Amber-how long ago? I had
told no one this, and was not about to. For one thing, Dworkin was quite
mad-which was apparently why Dad had had him locked away. For another, he had
demonstrated powers I did not understand, which convinced me he could be quite
dangerous. Still, he had been kindly disposed toward me after a minimum of
flattery and reminiscence. If he were still around, I suspected that with a bit
of patience I might be able to handle him. So I had kept the whole business
locked away in my mind as a possible secret weapon. I saw no reason for
changing that decision at this point.
Brand did hang around him a lot, I acknowledged, finally
seeing what he was getting at. He was interested in things of that sort.
Exactly, Random replied. And he obviously knew more than
the rest of us, to be able to send me that message without a Trump.
You think he made a deal with outsiders, opened the way for
them, then discovered that they no longer needed him when they hung him out to
dry?
Not necessarily. Though I suppose that is possible, too. My
thinking runs more like this-and I don't deny my prejudice in his favor: I
think he had learned enough about the subject so that he was able to detect it
when someone did something peculiar involving the Trumps, the Pattern, or that
area of Shadow most adjacent to Amber. Then he slipped up. Perhaps he
underestimated the culprit and confronted him directly, rather than going to
Dad or Dworkin. What then? The guilty party subdued him and imprisoned him in
that tower. Either he thought enough of him not to want to kill him if he did
not have to, or he had some later use of him in mind.
You make that sound plausible, too, I said, and I would
have added, and it fits your story nicely and watched his poker face again,
except for one thing. Back when I was with Bleys, before our attack on Amber, I
had had a momentary contact with Brand while fooling with the Trumps. He had
indicated distress, imprisonment, and then the contact had been broken. Random's
story did fit, to that extent. So, instead, I said, If he can point the
finger, we have got to get him back and set him to pointing.
I was hoping you would say that, Random replied. I hate
to leave a bit of business like that unfinished.
I went and fetched the bottle, refilled our glasses. I
sipped. I lit another cigarette.
Before we get into that, though, I said, I have to decide
on the best way of breaking the news about Caine. Where is Flora, anyway?
Down in town, I think. She was here this morning. I can
find her for you. I'm pretty sure.
Do it, then. She is the only other one I know of who has
seen one of these guys, back when they broke into her place in Westchester. We
might as well have her handy for that much corroboration as to their nastiness.
Besides, I have some other things I want to ask her.
He swallowed his drink and rose.
All right. I'll go do that now. Where should I bring her?
My quarters. If I'm not there, wait. He nodded.
I rose and accompanied him into the hall.
Have you got the key to this room? I asked.
It's on a hook inside.
Better get it and lock up. We wouldn't want a premature
unveiling.
He did that and gave me the key. I walked with him as far as
the first landing and saw him on his way.
From my safe, I removed the Jewel of Judgment, a ruby
pendant which had given Dad and Eric control over the weather in the vicinity
of Amber. Before he died, Eric had told me the procedure to be followed in
tuning it to my own use. I had not had time to do it, though, and did not
really have the time now. But during my conversation with Random I had decided
that I was going to have to take the time. I had located Dworkin's notes,
beneath a stone near Eric's fireplace. He had given me that much information
also, that last time. I would have liked to know where he had come across the
notes in the first place, though, for they were incomplete. I fetched them from
the rear of the safe and regarded them once again. They did agree with Eric's
explanation as to how the attunement was to be managed.
But they also indicated that the stone had other uses, that
the control of meteorological phenomena was almost an incidental, though
spectacular, demonstration of a complex of principles which underlay the
Pattern, the Trumps, and the physical integrity of Amber herself, apart from
Shadow. Unfortunately, the details were lacking. Still, the more I searched my
memory, the more something along these lines did seem indicated. Only rarely
had Dad produced the stone; and though he had spoken of it as a weather
changer, the weather had not always been especially altered on those occasions
when he had sported it. And he had often taken it along with him on his little
trips. So I was ready to believe that there was more to it than that. Eric had
probably reasoned the same way, but he had not been able to dope out its other
uses either. He had simply taken advantage of its obvious powers when Bleys and
I had attacked Amber; and he had used it the same way this past week when the
creatures had made their assault from the black road. It had served him well on
both occasions, even if it had not been sufficient to save his life. So I had
better get hold of its power myself, I decided, now. Any extra edge was
important. And it would be good to be seen wearing the thing, too, I judged. Especially
now.
I put the notes back into the safe, the jewel in my pocket. I
left then and headed downstairs. Again, as before, to walk those halls made me
feel as if I had never been away. This was home, this was what I wanted. Now I
was its defender. I did not even wear the crown, yet all its problems had
become my own. It was ironic. I had come back to claim the crown, to wrest it
from Eric, to hold the glory, to reign. Now, suddenly, things were falling
apart. It had not taken long to realize that Eric had behaved incorrectly. If
he had indeed done Dad in, he had no right to the crown. If he had not, then he
had acted prematurely. Either way, the coronation had served only to fatten his
already obese ego. Myself, I wanted it and I knew that I could take it. But it
would be equally irresponsible to do so with my troops quartered in Amber,
suspicious of Caine's murder about to descend upon me, the first signs of a
fantastic plot suddenly displayed before me, and the continuing possibility
that Dad was still alive. On several occasions it seemed we had been in
contact, briefly-and at one such time, years ago, that he had okayed my
succession. But there was so much deceit and trickery afoot that I did not know
what to believe. He had not abdicated. Also, I had had a head injury, and I was
well aware of my own desires. The mind is a funny place. I do not even trust my
own. Could it be that I had manufactured that whole business? A lot had
happened since.
The price of being an Amberite, I suppose, is that you
cannot even trust yourself. I wondered what Freud would have said. While he had
failed to pierce my amnesia, he had come up with some awfully good guesses as
to what my father had been like, what our relationship had been, even though I
had not realized it at the time. I wished that I could have one more session
with him.
I made my way through the marble dining hall and into the
dark, narrow corridor that lay behind. I nodded to the guard and walked on back
to the door. Through it then, out onto the platform, across and down. The interminable
spiral stairway that leads into the guts of Kolvir. Walking. Lights every now
and then. Blackness beyond.
It seemed that a balance had shifted somewhere along the
way, and that I was no longer acting but being acted upon, being forced to
move, to respond. Being horded. And each move led to another. Where had it all
begun? Maybe it had been going on for years and I was only just now becoming
aware of it. Perhaps we were all victims, in a fashion and to a degree none of
us had realized. Great victuals for morbid thought Sigmund, where are you now? I
had wanted to be king-still wanted to be king-more than anything else. Yet the
more I learned and the more I thought about what I had learned, the more all of
my movements actually seemed to amount to Amber Pawn to King Four. I realized
then that this feeling had been present for some time, growing, and I did not
like it at all. But nothing that has ever lived has gotten by without making
some mistake, I consoled myself. If my feeling represented actuality, my
personal Pavlov was setting closer to my fangs with each ringing of the bell. Soon
now, soon, I felt that it had to be soon, I would have to see that he came very
near. Then it would be mine to see that he neither went away nor ever came
again.
Turning, turning, around and down, light here, light there,
these my thoughts, like thread on a spool, winding or unwinding, hard to be
sure. Below me the sound of metal against stone. A guard's scabbard, the guard
rising. A ripple of light from a lantern raised.
Lord Corwin...
Jamie.
At bottom, I took a lantern from the shelf. Putting a light
to it, I turned and headed toward the tunnel, pushing the darkness on ahead of
me, a step at a time.
Eventually the tunnel, and so up it, counting side passages.
It was the seventh that I wanted. Echoes and shadows. Must and dust.
Coming to it, then. Turning there. Not too much farther.
Finally, that great, dark, metal-bound door. I unlocked it
and pushed hard. It creaked, resisted, finally moved inward.
I set down the lantern, just to the right, inside. I had no
further need of it, as the Pattern itself gave off sufficient light for what I
had to do.
For a moment I regarded the Pattern-a shining mass of curved
lines that tricked the eye as it tried to trace them-imbedded there, huge, in
the floor's slick blackness. It had given me power over Shadow, it had restored
most of my memory. It would also destroy me in an instant if I were to essay it
improperly. What gratitude the prospect did arouse in me was therefore not untinged
with fear. It was a splendid and cryptic old family heirloom which belonged
right where it was, in the cellar.
I moved off to the corner where the tracery began. There I
composed my mind, relaxed my body, and set my left foot upon the Pattern. Without
pausing, I strode forward then and felt the current begin. Blue sparks outlined
my boots. Another step. There was an audible crackling this time and the
beginning of resistance. I took the first curvelength, striving to hurry,
wanting to reach the First Veil as quickly as possible. By the time I did, my
hair was stirring and the sparks were brighter, longer.
The strain increased. Each step required more effect than
the previous one. The crackling grew louder and the current intensified. My
hair rose and I shook off sparks. I kept my eyes on the fiery lines and did not
stop pushing.
Suddenly the pressure abated. I staggered but kept moving. I
was through the First Veil and into the feeling of accomplishment that that
entailed. I recalled the last time that I had come this way, in Rebma, the city
under the sea. The maneuver I had just completed was what had started the
return of my memories. Yes. I pushed ahead and the sparks grew and the currents
rose once again, setting my flesh to tingling.
The Second Veil... The angles... It always seemed to tax the
strength to its limits, to produce the feeling that one's entire being was
transformed into pure Will. It was a driving, relentless sensation. At the
moment, the negotiation of the Pattern was the only thing in the world that
meant anything to me. I had always been there, striving, never been away,
always would be there, contending, my will against the maze of power. Time had
vanished. Only the tension held.
The sparks were up to my waist. I entered the Grand Curve
and fought my way along it. I was continually destroyed and reborn at every
step of its length, baked by the fires of creation, chilled by the cold at
entropy's end.
Out and onward, turning. Three more curves, a straight line,
a number of arcs. Dizziness, a sensation of fading and intensifying as though I
were oscillating into and out of existence. Turn after turn after turn after
turn... A short, sharp arc... The line that led to the Final Veil... I imagine
I was gasping and drenched with sweat bv then. I never seem to remember for
sure. I could hardly move my feet. The sparks were up to my shoulders. They
came into my eyes and I lost sight of the Pattern itself between blinks. In,
out, in, out... There it was. I dragged my right foot forward, knowing how
Benedict must have felt, his legs snared by the black grass. Right before I
rabbit-punched him. I felt bludgeoned myself-all over. Left foot, forward... So
slowly it was hard to be certain it was actually moving. My hands were blue
flames, my legs pillars of fire. Another step. Another. Yet another.
I felt like a slowly animated statue, a thawing snowman, a
buckling girder... Two more... Three... Glacial, my movements, but I who
directed them had all of eternity and a perfect constancy of will that would be
realized...
I passed through the Veil. A short arc followed. Three steps
to cross it into blackness and peace. They were the worst of all.
A coffee break for Sisyphus! That was my first thought as I
departed the Pattern. I've done it again! was my second. And, Never again! was
my third.
I allowed myself the luxury of a few deep breaths and a,
little shaking. Then I unpocketed the jewel and raised it by its chain. I held
it before my eye.
Red inside, of course-a deep cherry-red, smokeshot, fulgent.
It seemed to have picked up something extra of light and glitter during the
trip through the Pattern. I continued to stare, thinking over the instructions,
comparing them with things I already knew.
Once you have walked the Pattern and reached this point, you
can cause it to transport you to any place that you can visualize. All that it
takes is the desire and an act of will. Such being the case, I was not without
a moment's trepidation. If the effect proceeded as it normally did, I could be
throwing myself into a peculiar sort of trap. But Eric had succeeded. He had
not been locked into the heart of a gem somewhere off in Shadow. The Dworkin
who had written those notes had been a great man, and I had trusted him.
Composing my mind, I intensified my security of the stone's
interior.
There was a distorted reflection of the Pattern within it,
surrounded by winking points of light, tiny flares and flashes, different
curves and paths. I made my decision, I focused my will...
Redness and slow motion. Like sinking into an ocean of high
viscosity. Very slowly, at first. Drifting and darkening, all the pretty lights
far, far ahead. Faintly, my apparent velocity increased. Flakes of light,
distant, intermittent. A trifle faster then, it seemed. No scale. I was a point
of consciousness of indeterminate dimensions. Aware of movement, aware of the
configuration toward which I advanced, now almost rapidly. The redness was
nearly gone, as was the consciousness of any medium. Resistance vanished. I was
speeding. All of this, now, seemed to have taken but a single instant, was
still taking that same instant. There was a peculiar, timeless quality to the
entire affair. My velocity relative to what now seemed my target was enormous. The
little, twisted maze was growing, was resolving into what appeared a
three-dimensional variation of the Pattern itself. Punctuated by flares of
colored light, it grew before me, still reminiscent of a bizarre galaxy half
raveled in the middle of the ever-night, haloed with a pale shine of dust, its
streamers composed of countless flickering points. And it grew or I shrank, or
it advanced or I advanced, and we were near, near together, and it filled all
of space now, top to bottom, this way to that, and my personal velocity still
seemed, if anything, to be increasing. I was caught, overwhelmed by the blaze,
and there was a stray streamer which I knew to be the beginning. I was too
close-lost, actually-to apprehend its over-all configuration any longer, but
the buckling, the flickering, the weaving of all that I could see of it,
everywhere about me, made me wonder whether three dimensions were sufficient to
account for the senseswarping complexities with which I was confronted. Rather
than my galactic analogy, somethine in my mind shifted to the other extreme,
suggesting the infinitely dimensioned Hilbert space of the subatomic. But then,
it was a metaphor of desperation. Truly and simply, I did not understand
anything about it. I had only a growing feeling-Pattern-conditioned?
Instinctive? -that I had to pass through this maze also to gain the new degree
of power that I sought.
Nor was I incorrect. I was swept on into it without any
slackening of my apparent velocity. I was spun and whirled along blazing ways,
passing through substanceless clouds of glitter and shine. There were no areas
of resistance, as in the Pattern itself, my initial impetus seeming sufficient
to bear me throughout. A whirlwind tour of the Milky Way? A drowning man swept
among canyons of coral? An insomniac sparrow passing over an amusement park of
a July Fourth evening? These my thoughts as I recapitulated my recent passage
in this transformed fashion.
...And out, through, over, and done, in a blaze of ruddy
light that found me regarding myself holding the pendant beside the Pattern,
then regarding the pendant, Pattern within it, within me, everything within me,
me within it, the redness subsiding, down, gone. Then just me, the pendant, the
Pattern, alone, subject-object relationships reestablished-only an octave
higher, which I feel is about the best way there is to put it. For a certain
empathy now existed. It was as though I had acquired an extra sense, and an
additional means of expression. It was a peculiar sensation, satisfying.
Anxious to test it, I summoned my resolve once again and
commanded the Pattern to transport me elsewhere.
I stood then in the round room, atop the highest tower in
Amber. Crossing it, I passed outside, onto a very small balcony. The contrast
was powerful, coming so close to the supersensory voyage I had just completed. For
several long moments I simply stood there, looking.
The sea was a study in textures, as the sky was partly
overcast and getting on toward evening. The clouds themselves showed patterns
of soft brightness and rough shading. The wind made its way seaward, so that
the salt smell was temporarily denied me. Dark birds dotted the air, swinging
and hovering at a great distance out over the water. Below me, the palace yards
and the terraces of the city lay spread in enduring elegance out to Kolvir's
rim. People were tiny on the thoroughfares, their movements discountable. I
felt very alone.
Then I touched the pendant and called for a storm.
CHAPTER 4
Random and Flora were waiting in my quarters when I
returned. Random's eyes went first to the pendant, then to my own. I nodded.
I turned toward Flora, bowing slightly.
Sister, I said, it has been a while, and then a while.
She looked somewhat frightened, which was all to the good. She
smiled and took my hand, though.
Brother, she said. I see that you have kept your word.
Pale gold, her hair. She had cut it, but retained the bangs.
I could not decide whether I liked it that way or not. She had very lovely
hair. Blue eyes, too, and tons of vanity to keep everything in her favorite
perspective. At times she seemed to behave quite stupidly, but then at other
times I have wondered.
Excuse me for staring, I said, but the last time that we
met I was unable to see you.
I am very happy that the situation has been corrected, she
said. It was quite-There was nothing that I could do, you know.
I know, I said, recalling the occasional lilt of her
laughter from the other side of the darkness on one of the anniversaries of the
event. I know.
I moved to the window and opened it, knowing that the rain
would not be coming in. I like the smell of a storm.
Random, did you learn anything of interest with regard to a
possible postman? I asked.
Not really, he said. I made some inquiries. No one seems
to have seen anyone else in the right place at the right time.
I see, I said. Thank you. I may see you again later.
All right, he said. I'll be in my quarters all evening,
then.
I nodded, turned, leaned back against the sill, watched
Flora. Random closed the door quietly as he left. I listened to the rain for
half a minute or so.
What are you going to do with me? she said finally.
Do?
You are in a position to call for a settlement on old
debts. I assume that things are about to begin.
Perhaps, I said. Most things depend on other things. This
thing is no different.
What do you mean?
Give me what I want, and we'll see. I have even been known
to be a nice guy on occasion.
What is it that you want?
The story. Flora. Let's start with that. Of how you came to
be my shepherdess there on that shadow, Earth. All pertinent details. What was
the arrangement? What was the understanding? Everything. That's all.
She sighed.
The beginning... she said. Yes... It was in Paris, a
party, at a certain Monsieur Focault's. This was about three years before the
Terror
Stop, I said. What were you doing there?
I had been in that general area of Shadow for approximately
five of their years, she said. I had been wandering, looking for something
novel, something that suited my fancy. I came upon that place at that time in
the same way we find anything. I let my desires lead me and I followed my
instincts.
A peculiar coincidence.
Not in light of all the time involved-and considering the
amount of travel in which we indulge. It was, if you like, my Avalon, my Amber
surrogate, my home away from home. Call it what you will, I was there, at that
party, that October night, when you came in with the little redheaded
girl-Jacqueline, I believe, was her name.
That brought it back, from quite a distance, a memory I
hadn't called for in a long, long while. I remembered Jacqueline far better
than I did Focault's party, but there had been such an occasion.
Go ahead.
As I said, she went on, I was there. You arrived later.
You caught my attention immediately, of course. Still, if one exists for a
sufficiently long period of time and travels considerably, one does
occasionally encounter a person greatly resembling someone else one has known. That
was my first thought after the initial excitement faded. Surely it had to be a
double. So much time had passed without a whisper. Yet we all have secrets and
good reasons for having them. This could be one of yours. So I saw that we were
introduced and then had a devil of a time getting you away from that little
redheaded piece for more than a few minutes. And you insisted your name was
FennevalCordell Fenneval. I grew uncertain. I could not tell whether it was a
double or you playing games. The third possibility did cross my mind,
though-that you had dwelled in some adjacent area of Shadow for a sufficient
time to cast shadows of yourself. I might have departed still wondering had not
Jacqueline later boasted to me concerning your strength. Now this is not the
commonest subject of conversation for a woman, and the way in which she said it
led me to believe that she had actually been quite impressed by some things you
had done. I drew her out a bit and realized that they were all of them feats of
which you were capable. That eliminated the notion of it being a double. It had
to be either you or your shadow. This in mind, even if Cordell was not Corwin
he was a clue, a clue that you were or had been in that shady neighborhood-the
first real clue I had come across concerning your whereabouts. I had to pursue
it. I began keeping track of you then, checking into your past. The more people
I questioned, the more puzzling it became. In fact, after several months I was still
unable to decide. There were enough smudgy areas to make it possible. Things
were resolved for me the following summer, though, when I revisited Amber for a
time. I mentioned the peculiar affair to Eric...
Yes?
Well... he was-somewhat-aware-of the possibility.
She paused and rearranged her gloves on the seat beside her.
Uh-huh, I said. Just what did he tell you?
That it might be the real you, she said. He told me there
had been-an accident.
Really?
Well, no, she admitted. Not an accident. He said there
had been a fight and he had injured you. He thought you were going to die, and
he did not want the blame. So he transported you off into Shadow and left you
there, in that place. After a long while, he decided that you must be dead,
that it was finally all over between you. My news naturally disturbed him. So
he swore me to secrecy and sent me back to keep you under surveillance. I had a
good excuse for being there, as I had already told everyone how much I liked
the place.
You didn't promise to keep silent for nothing. Flora. What
did he give you?
He gave me his word that should he ever come into power
here in Amber, I would not be forgotten.
A little risky, I said. After all, that would still leave
you with something on him-knowledge of the whereabouts of a rival claimant, and
of his part in putting him there.
True. But things sort of balanced out, and I would have to
admit having become an accomplice in order to talk about it.
I nodded.
Tight, but not impossible, I agreed. But did you think he
would let me continue living if he ever did get a chance at the throne?
That was never discussed. Never.
It must have crossed your mind, though.
Yes, later, she said, and I decided that he would
probably do nothing. After all, it was beginning to seem likely that you had
been deprived of your memory. There was no reason to do anything to you so long
as you were harmless.
So you stayed on to watch me, to see that I remained
harmless?
Yes.
What would you have done had I shown signs of recovering my
memory?
She looked at me, then looked away.
I would have reported it to Eric.
And what would he have done then?
I don't know.
I laughed a little, and she blushed. I could not remember the
last time I had seen Flora blush.
I will not belabor the obvious, I said. All right, you
stayed on, you watched me. What next? What happened?
Nothing special. You just went on leading your life and I
went on keeping track of it.
All of the others knew where you were?
Yes. I'd make no secret of my whereabouts. In fact, all of
them came around to visit me at one time or another.
That includes Random?
She curled her lip.
Yes, several times, she said.
Why the sneer?
It is too late to start pretending I like him, she said. You
know. I just don't like the people he associates with-assorted criminals, jazz
musicians... I had to show him family courtesy when he was visiting my shadow,
but he put a big strain on my nerves, bringing those people around at all
hours-jam sessions, poker parties. The place usually reeked for weeks afterward
and I was always glad to see him go. Sorry. I know you like him, but you wanted
the truth.
He offended your delicate sensibilities. Okay. I now direct
your attention to the brief time when I was your guest. Random joined us rather
abruptly. Pursuing him were half a dozen nasty fellows whom we dispatched in
your living room.
I recall the event quite vividly.
Do you recall the guys responsible-the creatures we had to
deal with?
Yes.
Sufficiently well to recognize one if you ever saw
another?
I think so.
Good. Had you ever seen one before?
No.
Since?
No.
Had you ever heard them described anywhere?
Not that I can remember. Why?
I shook my head.
Not yet. This is my inquisition, remember? Now I want you
to think back for a time before that evening. Back to the event that put me in
Greenwood. Maybe even a little earlier. What happened, and how did you find out
about it? What were the circumstances? What was your part in things?
Yes, she said. I knew you would ask me that sooner or
later. What happened was that Eric contacted me the day after it occurred-from
Amber, via my Trump.
She glanced at me again, obviously to see how I was taking
it, to study my reactions. I remained expressionless.
He told me you had been in a bad accident the previous
evening, and that you were hospitalized. He told me to have you transferred to
a private place, one where I could have more say as to the course of your
treatment.
In other words, he wanted me to stay a vegetable.
He wanted them to keep you sedated.
Did he or did he not admit to being responsible for the
accident?
He did not say that he had had someone shoot out your tire,
but he did know that that was what had happened. How else could he have known?
When I learned later that he was planning to take the throne, I assumed that he
had finally decided it was best to remove you entirely. When the attempt
failed, it seemed logical that he would do the next most effective thing: see
that you were kept out of the way until after the coronation.
I was not aware that the tire had been shot out, I said.
Her face changed. She recovered.
You told me that you knew it was not an accident-that
someone had tried to kill you. I assumed you were aware of the specifics.
I was treading on slightly mucky ground again for the first
time in a long while. I still had a bit of amnesia, and I had decided I
probably always would. My memories of the few days prior to the accident were
still spotty. The Pattern had restored the lost memories of my entire life up
until then, but the trauma appeared to have destroyed recollection of some of
the events immediately preceding it. Not an uncommon occurrence. Organic damage
rather than simple functional distress, most likely. I was happy enough to have
all the rest back, so those did not seem especially lamentable. As to the
accident itself, and my feelings that it had been more than an accident, I did
recall the gunshots. There had been two of them. I might even have glimpsed the
figure with the rifle-fleetingly, too late. Or maybe that was pure fantasy. It
seemed that I had, though. I had had something like that in mind when I had
headed out for Westchester. Even at this late time. though, when I held the
power in Amber, I was loath to admit this single deficiency. I had faked my way
with Flora before with a lot less to go on. I decided to stick with a winning
combination.
I was in no position to get out and see what had been hit,
I said. I heard the shots. I lost control. I had assumed that it was a tire,
but I never knew for sure. The only reason I raised the question was because I
was curious as to how you knew it was a tire.
I already told you that Eric told me about it.
It was the way that you said it that bothered me. You made
it sound as if you already knew all the details before he contacted you.
She shook her head.
Then pardon my syntax, she said. That sometimes happens
when you look at things after the fact. I am going to have to deny what you are
implying. I had nothing to do with it and I had no prior knowledge that it had
occurred.
Since Eric is no longer around to confirm or deny anything,
we will simply have to let it go, I said, for now, and I said it to make her
look even harder to her defense, to direct her attention away from any possible
slip, either in word or expression, from which she might infer the small flaw
which still existed in my memory.
Did you later become aware of the identity of the person
with the gun? I asked.
Never, she said. Most likely some hired thug. I don't
know.
Have you any idea how long I was unconscious before someone
found me, took me to a hospital?
She shook her head again.
Something was bothering me and I could not quite put my
finger on it.
Did Eric say what time I had been taken into the hospital?
No.
When I was with you, why did you try walking back to Amber
rather than using Eric's Trump?
I couldn't raise him.
You could have called someone else to bring you through, I
said. Flora, I think you are lying to me.
It was really only a test, to observe her reaction. Why not?
About what? she asked. I couldn't raise anyone else. They
were all otherwise occupied. Is that what you mean?
She studied me.
I raised my arm and pointed at her and the lightning flashed
at my back, just outside the window. I felt a tingle, a mild jolt. The
thunderclap was also impressive. You sin by omission, I tried.
She covered her face with her hands and began to weep.
I don't know what you mean! she said. I answered all your
questions! What do you want? I don't know where you were going or who shot at
you or what time it occurred! I just know the facts I've given you, damn it!
She was either sincere or unbreakable by these means, I
decided. Whichever, I was wasting my time and could get nothing more this way. Also,
I had better switch us away from the accident before she began thinking too
much about its importance to me. If there was something there that I was
missing, I wanted to find it first.
Come with me, I said.
Where are we going?
I have something I want you to identify. I will tell you
why after you see it.
She rose and followed me. I took her up the hall to see the
body before I gave her the story on Caine. She regarded the corpse quite
dispassionately. She nodded.
Yes, she said, and, Even if I did not know it I would be
glad to say that I did, for you.
I grunted a noncommittal. Family loyalty always touches me,
somewhere. I could not tell whether she believed what I had said about Caine. But
things sort of canal-to equal things sort of being equal to each other. it
didn't much seem to matter. I did not tell her anything about Brand and she did
not seem to possess any new information concerning him. Her only other comment
when everything I'd had to say was said, was, You wear the jewel well. What
about the headpiece?
It is too soon to talk of such things, I told her.
Whatever my support may be worth...
I know, I said. I know.
My tomb is a quiet place. It stands alone in a rocky
declivity, shielded on three sides against the elements, surrounded by
transported soil wherein a pair of scrubby trees, miscellaneous shrubs, weeds,
and great ropes of mountain ivy are rooted, about two miles down, in back of
the crest of Kolvir. It is a long, low building with two benches in front, and
the ivy has contrived to cover it to a great extent, mercifully masking most of
a bombastic statement graven on its face beneath my name. It is,
understandably, vacant most of the time.
That evening, however, Ganelon and I repaired thither,
accompanied by a good supply of wine and some loaves and cold cuts.
You weren't joking! he said, having dismounted, crossed
over, and parted the ivy, able to read by the moon's light the words that were
rendered there.
Of course not, I said, climbing down and taking charge of
the horses. It's mine all right.
Tethering our mounts to a nearby shrub, I unslung our bags
of provisions and carried them to the nearest bench. Ganelon joined me as I
opened the first bottle and poured us a dark, deep pair.
I still don't understand, he said, accepting his.
What's there to understand? I'm dead and buried there, I
said. It's my cenotaph, is what it is-the monument that gets set up when the
body has not been recovered. I only just learned about mine recently. It was
raised several centuries ago, when it was decided I wasn't coming back.
Kind of spooky, he said. What's inside then?
Nothing. Though they did thoughtfully provide a niche and a
casket, just in case my remains put in an appearance. You cover both bets that
way.
Ganelon made himself a sandwich.
Whose idea was it?
he asked.
Random thinks it
was Brand's or Eric's. No one remembers for sure. They all seemed to feel it
was a good idea at the time.
He chuckled, an
evil noise that perfectly suited his creased, scarred, and red-bearded self.
What's to become
of it now?
I shrugged.
I suppose some
of them think it's a shame to waste it this way and would like to see me fill
it. In the meantime, though, it's a good place to come and get drunk. I hadn't
really paid my respects yet.
I put together a
pair of sandwiches and ate them both. This was the first real breather I had
had since my return, and perhaps the last for some time to come. It was
impossible to say. But I had not really had a chance to speak with Ganelon at
any length during the past week, and he was one of the few persons I trusted. I
wanted to tell him everything. I had to. I had to talk with someone who was not
a part of it in the same way as the rest of us. So I did.
The moon moved a
considerable distance and the shards of broken glass multiplied within my
crypt.
So how did the
others take it? he asked me.
Predictably, I
answered. I could tell that Julian did not believe a word of it even though he
said that he did. He knows how I feel about him, and he is in no position to
challenge me. I don't think Benedict believes me either, but he is a lot harder
to read. He is biding his time, and I hope giving me the benefit of the doubt
while he is about it. As for Gerard, I have the feeling that this was the final
weight, and whatever trust he had left for me has just collapsed. Still, he
will be returning to Amber early tomorrow, to accompany me to the grove to
recover Caine's body. No sense in turning it into a safari, but I did want
another family member present. Deirdre now-she seemed happy about it. Didn't
believe a word. I'm sure. But no matter. She has always been on my side, and
she has never liked Caine. I'd say she is glad that I seem to be consolidating
my position. I can't really tell whether Llewella believed me or not. She
doesn't much give a damn what the rest of us do to one another, so far as I can
see. As to Fiona, she simply seemed amused at the whole business. But then, she
has always had this detached, superior way of regarding things. You can never
be certain what represents her real thinking.
Did you tell
them the business about Brand yet?
No. I told them
about Caine and I told them I wanted them all to be in Amber by tomorrow
evening. That is when the subject of Brand will be raised. I've an idea I want
to try out.
You contacted
all of them by means of the Trumps?
That's right.
There is
something I have been meaning to ask you about that. Back on the shadow world
we visited to obtain the weapons, there are telephones...
Yes?
I learned about
wiretaps and such while we were there. Is it possible, do you think, that the
Trumps could be bugged?
I began to laugh,
then caught myself as some of the implications of his suggestion sank in.
Finally, I don't really know, I said. So much concerning Dworkin's work
remains a mystery-the thought just never occurred to me. I've never tried it
myself. I wonder, though...
Do you know how
many sets there are?
Well, everyone
in the family has a pack or two and there were a dozen or so spares in the
library. I don't really know whether there are any others.
It seems to me
that a lot could be learned just by listening in.
Yes. Dad's deck.
Brand's, my original pack, the one Random lost-Hell! There are quite a number
unaccounted for these days. I don't know what to do about it. Start an
inventory and try some experiments, I guess. Thanks for mentioning it.
He nodded and we both
sipped for a while in silence.
Then, What are
you going to do, Corwin? he asked.
About what?
About
everything. What do we attack now, and in what order?
My original
intention was to begin tracing the black road toward its origin as soon as things
were more settled here in Amber, I said. Now, though, I have shifted my
priorities. I want Brand returned as soon as possible, if he is still living.
If not, I want to find out what happened to him.
But will the
enemy give you the breathing time? He might be preparing a new offensive right
now.
Yes, of course.
I have considered that. I feel we have some time, since they were defeated so
recently. They will have to pull themselves together again, beef up their
forces, reassess the situation in light of our new weapons. What I have in mind
for the moment is to establish a series of lookout stations along the road to
give us advance warning of any new movements on their part. Benedict has
already agreed to take charge of the operation.
I wonder how much
time we have.
I poured him
another drink, as it was the only answer I could think of.
Things were
never this complicated back in Avalon-our Avalon, I mean.
True, I said.
You are not the only one who misses those days. At least, they seem simpler now.
He nodded. I
offered him a cigarette, but he declined in favor of his pipe. In the
flamelight, he studied the Jewel of Judgment which still hung about my neck.
You say you can
really control the weather with that thing? he asked.
Yes, I said.
How do you
know?
I've tried it.
It works.
What did you
do?
That storm this
afternoon. It was mine.
I wonder...
What?
I wonder what I
would have done with that sort of power. What I would do with it.
The first thing
that crossed my mind, I said, slapping the wall of my tomb, was to destroy
this place by lightning-strike it repeatedly and reduce it to rubble. Leave no
doubt in anyone's mind as to my feelings, my power.
Why didn't you?
Got to thinking
about it a bit more then. Decided-Hell! They might really have a use for the
place before too long, if I'm not smart enough or tough enough or lucky enough.
Such being the case, I tried to decide where I would like them to dump my
bones. It caught me then that this is really a pretty good spot-up high, clean,
where the elements still walk naked. Nothing in sight but rock and sky. Stars,
clouds, sun, moon, wind, rain... better company than a lot of other stiffs.
Don't know why I should have to lie beside anyone I wouldn't want next to me
now, and there aren't many.
You're getting
morbid, Corwin. Or drunk. Or both. Bitter, too. You don't need that.
Who the hell are
you to say what I need?
I felt him
stiffen beside me, then relax.
I don't know,
he finally said. Just saying what I see.
How are the
troops holding up? I asked.
I think they are
still bewildered, Corwin. They came to fight a holy war on the slopes of
heaven. They think that's what the shooting was all about last week. So they
are happy on that count, seeing as we won. But now this waiting, in the city...
They don't understand the place. Some of the ones they thought to be enemies
are now friends. They are confused. They know they are being kept ready for
combat, but they have no idea against whom, or when. As they have been
restricted to the billets the whole time, they have not yet realized the extent
to which their presence is resented by the regulars and the population at
large. They will probably be catching on fairly soon, though. I had been
waiting to raise the subject, but you've been so busy lately...
I sat smoking for
a time.
Then, I guess I
had better have a talk with them, I said. Won't have a chance tomorrow,
though, and something should be done soon. I think they should be moved-to a
bivouac area in the Forest of Arden. Tomorrow, yes. I'll locate it for you on
the map when we get back. Tell them it is to keep them close to the black road.
Tell them that another attack could come that way at any time-which is no less
than the truth. Drill them, maintain their fighting edge. I'll come down as
soon as I can and talk to them.
That will leave
you without a personal force in Amber.
True. It may
prove a useful risk, though, both as a demonstration of confidence and a
gesture of consideration. Yes, I think it will turn out to be a good move. If
not... I shrugged.
I poured and
tossed another empty into my tomb.
By the way, I
said, I'm sorry.
What for?
I just noticed
that I am morbid and drunk and bitter. I don't need that.
He chuckled and
clicked his glass against my own.
I know, he
said. I know.
So we sat there
while the moon fell, till the last bottle was interred among its fellows. We
talked for a time of days gone by. At length we fell silent and my eyes drifted
to the stars above Amber. It was good that we had come to this place, but now
the city was calling me back. Knowing my thoughts, Ganelon rose and stretched,
headed for the horses. I relieved myself beside my tomb and followed him.
CHAPTER 5
The Grove of the
Unicorn lies in Arden to the southwest of Kolvir, near to that jutting place
where the land begins its final descent into the valley called Gamath. While
Gamath had been cursed, burned, invaded, and fought through in recent years,
the adjacent highlands stood unmolested. The grove where Dad claimed to have
seen the unicorn ages before and to have experienced the peculiar events which
led to his adopting the beast as the patron of Amber and placing it on his coat
of arms, was, as near as we could tell, a spot now but slightly screened from the
long view across Gamath to the sea-twenty or thirty paces in from the upper
edge of things: an asymmetrical glade where a small spring trickled from a mass
of rock, formed a clear pool, brimmed into a tiny creek, made its way off
toward Gamath and on down.
It was to this
place that Gerard and I rode the following day, leaving at an hour that found
us halfway down our trail from Kolvir before the sun skipped flakes of light
across the ocean, then cast its whole bucketful against the sky. Gerard drew
rein as it was doing this. He dismounted then and motioned to me to do the
same. I did, leaving Star and the pack horse I was leading there beside his own
huge piebald. I followed him off perhaps a dozen paces into a basin half-filled
with gravel. He halted and I came up beside him.
What is it? I
asked.
He turned and
faced me and his eyes were narrow and his jaw clamped tight. He unfastened his
cloak, folded it, and placed it on the ground. He unclapped his swordbelt and
lay it atop the cloak.
Get rid of your
blade and your cloak, he said. They will only get in the way.
I had an inkling
of what was coming, and I decided I had better go along with it. I folded my
cloak, placed the Jewel of Judgment beside Grayswandir, and faced him once
again. I said only one word.
Why?
It has been a
long time, he said, and you might have forgotten.
He came at me
slowly, and I got my arms out in front of me and backed away. He did not swing
at me. I used to be faster than he was. We were both crouched, and he was making
slow, pawing movements with his left hand, his right hand nearer to his body,
twitching slightly.
If I had had to
choose a place to fight with Gerard, this would not have been it. He, of
course, was aware of this. If I had to fight with Gerard at all, I would not
have chosen to do so with my hands. I am better than Gerard with a blade or a
quarterstaff. Anything that involved speed and strategy and gave me a chance to
hit him occasionally while keeping him at bay would permit me to wear him down
eventually and provide openings for heavier and heavier assaults. He, of
course, was aware of this also. That is why he had trapped me as he had. I
understood Gerard, though, and I had to play by his rules now.
I brushed his
hand away a couple of times as he stepped up his movements, pressing nearer to
me with every pace. Finally I took a chance, ducked and swung. I landed a fast,
hard left just a little above his middle. It would have broken a stout board or
ruptured the insides of a lesser mortal. Unfortunately, time had not softened
Gerard. I heard him grunt, but he blocked my right, got his right hand under my
left arm, and caught my shoulder from behind.
I closed with him
fast then, anticipating a shoulder lock I might not be able to break; and,
turning, driving forward, catching his left shoulder in a similar fashion, I
hooked my right leg behind his knee and was able to cast him backward to the
ground.
He maintained his
grip, though, and I came down atop him. I released my own hold and was able to
drive my right elbow into his left side as we hit. The angle was not ideal and
his left hand went up and across, reaching to grasp his right somewhere behind
my head.
I was able to
duck out of it, but he still had my arm. For a moment I had a clear shot at his
groin with my right, but I restrained myself. It is not that I have any qualms
about hitting a man below his belt. I knew that if I did it to Gerard just then
his reflexes would probably cause him to break my shoulder. Instead, scraping
my forearm on the gravel, I managed to twist my left arm up behind his head,
while at the same time sliding my right arm between his legs and catching him
about the left thigh. I rolled back as I did this, attempting to straighten my
legs as soon as my feet were beneath me. I wanted to raise him off the ground
and slam him down again, driving my shoulder into his middle for good measure.
But Gerard
scissored his legs and rolled to the left, forcing me to somersault across his
body. I let go my hold on his head and pulled my left arm free as I went over.
I scrambled clockwise then, dragging my right arm away and going for a toehold.
But Gerard would
have none of that. He had gotten his arms beneath him by then. With one great
heave he tore himself free and twisted his way back to his feet. I straightened
myself and leaped backwards. He began moving toward me immediately, and I
decided that he was going to maul the hell out of me if I just kept grappling
with him. I had to take a few chances.
I watched his
feet, and at what I judged to be the best moment I dove in beneath his extended
arms just as he was shifting his weight forward onto his left foot and raising
his right. I was able to catch hold of his right ankle and hoist it about four
feet high behind him. He went over and down, forward and to his left.
He scrambled to
get to his feet and I caught him on the jaw with a left that knocked him down
again. He shook his head and blocked with his arms as he came up once more. I
tried to kick him in the stomach, but missed as he pivoted, catching him on the
hip. He maintained his balance and advanced again.
I threw jabs at
his face and circled. I caught him twice more in the stomach and danced away.
He smiled. He knew I was afraid to close with him. I snapped a kick at his
stomach and connected. His arms dropped sufficiently for me to chop him
alongside the neck, just above the collarbone. At that moment, however, his
arms shot forward and locked about my waist. I slammed his jaw with the heel of
my hand, but it did not stop him from tightening his grip and raising me above
the ground. Too late to hit him again. Those massive arms were already crushing
my kidneys. I sought his carotids with my thumbs, squeezed.
But he kept
raising me, back, up over his head. My grip loosened, slipped away. Then he
slammed me down on my back in the gravel, as peasant women do their laundry on
rocks.
There were
exploding points of light and the world was a jittering, half-real place as he
dragged me to my feet again. I saw his fist
The sunrise was
lovely, but the angle was wrong. By about ninety degrees...
Suddenly I was
assailed by vertigo. It canceled out the beginning awareness of a roadmap of
pains that ran along my back and reached the big city somewhere in the vicinity
of my chin.
I was hanging
high in the air. By turning my head slightly I could see for a very great
distance, down.
I felt a set of
powerful clamps affixed to my body-shoulder and thigh. When I turned to look at
them, I saw that they were hands. Twisting my neck even farther, I saw that
they were Gerard's hands. He was holding me at full arm's length above his
head. He stood at the very edge of the trail, and I could see Gamath and the terminus
of the black road far below. If he let go, part of me might join the bird
droppings that smeared the cliff face and the rest would come to resemble
washed-up jellyfish I had known on beaches past.
Yes. Look down,
Corwin, he said, feeling me stir, glancing up, meeting my eyes. All that I
need to do is open my hands.
I hear you, I
said softly, trying to figure a way to drag him along with me if he decided to
do it.
I am not a
clever man, he said. But I had a thought-a terrible thought. This is the only
way that I know to do something about it. My thought was that you had been away
from Amber for an awfully long while. I have no way of knowing whether the
story about your losing your memory is entirely true. You have come back and
you have taken charge of things, but you do not yet truly rule here. I was
troubled by the deaths of Benedict's servants, as I am troubled now by the
death of Caine. But Eric has died recently also, and Benedict is maimed. It is
not so easy to blame you for this part of things, but it has occurred to me
that it might be possible-if it should be that you are secretly allied with our
enemies of the black road.
I am not, I
said.
It does not
matter, for what I have to say, he said. Just hear me out. Things will go the
way that they will go. If, during your long absence, you arranged this state of
affairs-possibly even removing Dad and Brand as part of your design-then I see
you as out to destroy all family resistance to your usurpation.
Would I have
delivered myself to Eric to be blinded and imprisoned if this were the case?
Hear me out! he
repeated. You could easily have made mistakes that led to that. It does not
matter now. You may be as innocent as you say or as guilty as possible. Look
down, Corwin. That is all. Look down at the black road. Death is the limit of
the distance you travel if that is your doing. I have shown you my strength
once again, lest you have forgotten. I can kill you, Corwin. Do not even be
certain that your blade will protect you, if I can get my hands on you but
once. And I will, to keep my promise. My promise is only that if you are guilty
I will kill you the moment I learn of it. Know also that my life is insured,
Corwin, for it is linked now to your own.
What do you
mean?
All of the
others are with us at this moment, via my Trump, watching, listening. You
cannot arrange my removal now without revealing your intentions to the entire
family. That way, if I die forsworn, my promise can still be kept.
I get the
point, I said. And if someone else kills you? They remove me, also. That
leaves Julian, Benedict, Random, and the girls to man the barricades. Better
and better-for whoever it is. Whose idea was this, really?
Mine! Mine
alone! he said, and I felt his grip tighten, his arms bend and grow tense.
You are just
trying to confuse things! Like you always do! he groaned. Things didn't go
bad till you came back! Damn it, Corwin! I think it's your fault!
Then he hurled me
into the air.
Not guilty,
Gerard! was all I had time to shout.
Then he caught
me-a great, shoulder-wrenching grab-and snatched me back from the precipice. He
swung me in and around and set me on my feet. He walked off immediately,
heading back to the gravelly area where we had fought. I followed him and we
collected our things.
As he was
clasping his big belt he looked up at me and looked away again.
We'll not talk
about it any more, he said.
All right.
I turned and
walked back to the horses. We mounted and continued on down the trail.
The spring made
its small music in the grove. Higher now, the sun strung lines of light through
the trees. There was still some dew on the ground. The sod that I had cut for
Caine's grave was moist with it.
I fetched the
spade that I had packed and opened the grave. Without a word, Gerard helped me
move the body onto a piece of sailcloth we had brought for that purpose. We
folded it about him and closed it with big, loose stitches.
Corwin! Look!
It was a whisper,
and Gerard's hand closed on my elbow as he spoke.
I followed the
direction of his gaze and froze. Neither of us moved as we regarded the
apparition: a soft, shimmering white encompassed it, as if it were covered with
down rather than fur and maning; its tiny, cloven hooves were golden, as was
the delicate, whorled horn that rose from its narrow head. It stood atop one of
the lesser rocks, nibbling at the lichen that grew there. Its eyes, when it
raised them and looked in our direction, were a bright, emerald green. It
joined us in immobility for a pair of instants. Then it made a quick, nervous
gesture with its front feet, pawing the air and striking the stone, three
times. And then it blurred and vanished like a snowflake, silently, perhaps in
the woods to our right.
I rose and
crossed to the stone. Gerard followed me. There, in the moss, I traced its tiny
hoofmarks.
Then we really
did see it, Gerard said.
I nodded.
We saw
something. Did you ever see it before?
No. Did you?
I shook my head.
Julian claims he
once saw it, he said, in the distance. Says his hounds refused to give
chase.
It was
beautiful. That long, silky tail, those shiny hooves...
Yes. Dad always
took it as a good omen.
I'd like to
myself.
Strange time for
it to appear... All these years...
I nodded again.
Is there a
special observance? It being our patron and all... is there something we should
do?
If there is, Dad
never told me about it, I said.
I patted the rock
on which it had appeared.
If you herald
some turn in our fortunes, if you bring us some measure of grace-thanks,
unicorn, I said. And even if you do not, thanks for the brightness of your
company at a dark time.
We went and drank
from the spring then. We secured our grim parcel on the back of the third
horse. We led our mounts until we were away from the place, where, save for the
water, things had become very still.
CHAPTER 6
Life's incessant
ceremonies leap everlasting, humans spring eternal on hope's breast, and frying
pans without fires are often far between: the sum of my long life's wisdom that
evening, tendered in a spirit of creative anxiety, answered by Random with a nod
and a friendly obscenity.
We were in the
library, and I was seated on the edge of the big desk. Random occupied a chair
to my right. Gerard stood at the other end of the room, inspecting some weapons
that hung on the wall. Or maybe it was Rein's etching of the unicorn he was
looking at. Whichever, along with ourselves, he was also ignoring Julian, who
was slouched in an easy chair beside the display cases, right center, legs
extended and crossed at the ankles, arms folded, staring down at his scaley boots.
Fiona-five-two, perhaps, in height-green eyes fixed on Flora's own blue as they
spoke, there beside the fireplace, hair more than compensating for the vacant
hearth, smoldering, reminded me, as always, of something from which the artist
had just drawn back, setting aside his tools, questions slowly forming behind
his smile. The place at the base of her throat where his thumb had notched the
collarbone always drew my eyes as the mark of a master craftsman, especially
when she raised her head, quizzical or imperious, to regard us taller others.
She smiled faintly, just then, doubtless aware of my gaze, an almost
clairvoyant faculty the acceptance of which has never deprived of its ability
to disconcert. Llewella, off in a comer, pretending to study a book, had her
back to the rest of us, her green tresses bobbed a couple of inches above her
dark collar. Whether her withdrawal involved animus, self-conscious in her
alienation, or simple caution, I could never be certain. Probably something of
all these. Hers was not that familiar a presence in Amber.
...And the fact
that we constituted a collection of individuals rather than a group, a family,
at a time when I wanted to achieve some over-identity, some will to cooperate,
was what led to my observations and Random's acknowledgement.
I felt a familiar
presence, heard a Hello, Corwin and there was Deirdre, reaching toward me. I
extended my hand, clasped her own, raised it. She took a step forward, as if to
the first strain of some formal dance, and moved close, facing me. For an
instant a grilled window had framed her head and shoulders and a rich tapestry
had adorned the wall to her left. Planned and posed, of course. Still,
effective. She held my Trump in her left hand. She smiled. The others glanced
our way as she appeared and she hit them all with that smile, like the Mona
Lisa with a machine gun, turning slowly.
Corwin, she
said, kissing me briefly and withdrawing, I fear I am early.
Never, I
replied, turning toward Random, who had just risen and who anticipated me by
seconds.
May I fetch you
a drink, sister? he asked, taking her hand and nodding toward the sideboard.
Why, yes. Thank
you, and he led her off and poured her some wine, avoiding or at least
postponing, I suppose, her usual clash with Flora. At least, I assumed most of
the old frictions were still alive as I remembered them. So if it cost me her
company for the moment it also maintained the domestic-tranquility index, which
was important to me just then. Random can be good at such things when he wants
to.
I drummed the
side of the desk with my fingertips, I rubbed my aching shoulder, I uncrossed
and recrossed my legs, I debated lighting a cigarette...
Suddenly he was
there. At the far end of the room, Gerard had turned to his left, said something,
and extended his hand. An instant later, he was clasping the left and only hand
of Benedict, the final member of our group.
All right. The
fact that Benedict had chosen to come in on Gerard's Trump rather than mine was
his way of expressing his feelings toward me. Was it also an indication of an
alliance to keep me in check? It was at least calculated to make me wonder.
Could it have been Benedict who had put Gerard up to our morning's exercise?
Probably.
At that moment
Julian rose to his feet, crossed the room, gave Benedict a word and a
handclasp.
This activity
attracted Llewella. She turned, closing her book and laying it aside. Smiling
then, she advanced and greeted Benedict, nodded to Julian, said something to
Gerard. The impromptu conference warmed, grew animated. All right again, and
again.
Four and three.
And two in the middle...
I waited, staring
at the group across the room. We were all present, and I could have asked them
for attention and proceeded with what I had in mind. However...
It was too
tempting. All of us could feel the tension, I knew. It was as if a pair of
magnetic poles had suddenly been activated within the room. I was curious to
see how all the filings would fall.
Flora gave me one
quick glance. I doubted that she had changed her mind overnight-unless, of
course, there had been some new development. No, I felt confident that I had
anticipated the next move.
Nor was I
incorrect. I overheard her mentioning thirst and a glass of wine. She turned
partway and made a move in my direction, as if expecting Fiona to accompany
her. She hesitated for a moment when this did not occur, suddenly became the
focus of the entire company's attention, realized this fact, made a quick
decision, smiled, and moved in my direction.
Corwin, she
said, I believe I would like a glass of wine.
Without turning
my head or removing my gaze from the tableau before me, I called back over my
shoulder, Random, pour Flora a glass of wine, would you?
But of course,
he replied, and I heard the necessary sounds.
Flora nodded,
unsmiled, and passed beyond me to the right.
Four and four,
leaving dear Fiona burning brightly in the middle of the room. Totally
self-conscious and enjoying it, she immediately turned toward the oval mirror
with the dark, intricately carved frame, hanging in the space between the two
nearest tiers of shelves. She proceeded to adjust a stray strand of hair in the
vicinity of her left temple.
Her movement
produced a flash of green and silver among the red and gold geometries of the
carpet, near to the place where her left foot had rested.
I had
simultaneous desires to curse and to smile. The arrant bitch was playing games
with us again. Always remarkable, though... Nothing had changed. Neither
cursing nor smiling, I moved forward, as she had known I would.
But Julian too
approached, and a trifle more quickly than I. He had been a bit nearer, may
have spotted it a fraction of an instant sooner.
He scooped it up
and dangled it gently.
Your bracelet,
sister, he said pleasantly. It seems to have forsaken your wrist, foolish
thing. Here-allow me.
She extended her
hand, giving him one of those lowered-eyelash smiles while he unfastened her
chain of emeralds. Completing the business, he folded her hand within both of
his own and began to turn back toward his corner, from whence the others were
casting sidelong glances while attempting to seem locally occupied.
I believe you
would be amused by a witticism we are about to share, he began.
Her smile grew
even more delightful as she disengaged her hand.
Thank you,
Julian, she replied. I am certain that when I hear it I will laugh. Last, as
usual, I fear. She turned and took my arm. I find that I feel a greater
desire, she said, for a glass of wine.
So I took her
back with me and saw her refreshed. Five and four.
Julian, who
dislikes showing strong feelings, reached a decision a few moments later and
followed us over. He poured himself a glass, sipped from it, studied me for ten
or fifteen seconds, then said, I believe we are all present now. When do you
plan to proceed with whatever you have in mind?
I see no reason
for further delay, I said, now that everyone has had his turn. I raised my
voice then and directed it across the room. The time has come. Let us get
comfortable.
The others
drifted over. Chairs were dragged up and settled into. More wine was poured. A
minute later we had an audience.
Thank you, I
said when the final stirrings had subsided.
I have a number
of things I would like to say, and some of them might even get said. The course
of it all will depend on what goes before, and we will get into that right now.
Random, tell them what you told me yesterday.
All right.
I withdrew to the
seat behind the desk and Random moved to occupy the edge of it. I leaned back
and listened again to the story of his communication with Brand and his attempt
to rescue him. It was a condensed version, bereft of the speculations which had
not really strayed from my consciousness since Random had put them there. And
despite their omission, a tacit awareness of the implications was occurring within
all the others. I knew that. It was the main reason I had wanted Random to
speak first. Had I simply come out with an attempt to make a case for my
suspicions, I would almost certainly have been assumed to be engaged in the
time-honored practice of directing attention away from myself-an act to be
followed immediately by the separate, sharp, metallic clicks of minds snapping
shut against me. This way, despite any thoughts that Random would say whatever
I wanted him to say, they would hear him out, wondering the while. They would
toy with the ideas, attempting to foresee the point of my having called the
assembly in the first place. They would allow the time that would permit the
premises to take root contingent upon later corroboration. And they would be wondering
whether we could produce the evidence. I was wondering that same thing myself.
While I waited
and wondered I watched the others, a fruitless yet inevitable exercise. Simple
curiosity, more than suspicion even, required that I search these faces for
reactions, clues, indications-the faces that I knew better than any others, to
the limits of my understanding such things. And of course they told me nothing.
Perhaps it is true that you really only look at a person the first time you see
him, and after that you do a quick bit of mental shorthand each time you
recognize him. My brain is lazy enough to give that its likelihood, using its
abstracting powers and a presumption of regularity to avoid work whenever
possible. This time I forced myself to see, though, and it still did not help.
Julian maintained his slightly bored, slightly amused mask. Gerard appeared
alternately surprised, angry, and wistful. Benedict just looked bleak and
suspicious. Llewella seemed as sad and inscrutable as ever. Deirdre looked
distracted. Flora acquiescent, and Fiona was studying everyone else, myself
included, assembling her own catalog of reactions.
The only thing
that I could tell, after some time, was that Random was making an impression.
While no one betrayed himself, I saw the boredom vanish, the old suspicion
abate, the new suspicion come to life. Interest rose among my kin. Fascination,
almost. Then everyone had questions. At first a few, then a barrage.
Wait, I finally
interrupted. Let him finish. The whole thing. Some of these will answer
themselves. Get the others afterward.
There were nods
and growls, and Random proceeded through to the real end. That is, he carried
it on to our fight with the beastmen at Flora's, indicating that they were of
the same ilk as the one who had slain Caine. Flora endorsed this part.
Then, when the
questions came, I watched them carefully. So long as they dealt with the matter
of Random's story, they were all to the good. But I wanted to cut things short
of speculation as to the possibility of one of us being behind it all. As soon
as that came out, talk of me and the smell of red herrings would also drift in.
This could lead to ugly words and the emergence of a mood I was not anxious to
engender. Better to go for the proof first, save on later recriminations,
corner the culprit right now if possible, and consolidate my position on the
spot.
So I watched and
waited. When I felt that the vital moment had ticked its way too near I stopped
the clock.
None of this
discussion, this speculation, would be necessary, I said, if we had all of
the facts right now. And there may be a way to get them-right now. That is why
you are here.
That did it. I
had them. Attentive. Ready. Maybe even willing.
I propose we
attempt to reach Brand and bring him home, I said, now.
How? Benedict
asked me.
The Trumps.
It has been
tried, said Julian. He cannot be reached that way. No response.
I was not
referring to the ordinary usage. I said.
I asked you all
to bring full sets of Trumps with you. I trust that you have them?
There were nods.
Good, I said.
Let us shuffle out Brand's Trump now. I propose that all nine of us attempt to
contact him simultaneously.
An interesting
thought, Benedict said.
Yes, Julian
agreed, producing his deck and riffling through it. Worth trying, at least. It
may generate additional power. I do not really know.
I located Brand's
Trump. I waited until all the others had found it. Then, Let us coordinate
things, I said. Is everyone ready?
Eight assents
were spoken. Then go ahead. Try. Now.
I studied my
card. Brand's features were similar to my own, but he was shorter and
slenderer. His hair was like Fiona's. He wore a green riding suit. He rode a
white horse. How long ago? How long ago was that? I wondered. Something of a
dreamer, a mystic, a poet, Brand was always disillusioned or elated, cynical or
wholly trusting. His feelings never seemed to find a middle ground.
Manic-depressive is too facile a term for his complex character, yet it might
serve to indicate a direction of departure, multitudes of qualifications lining
the roadway thereafter. Pursuant to this state of affairs, I must admit that
there were times when I found him so charming, considerate, and loyal that I
valued him above all my other kin. Other times, however, he could be so bitter,
sarcastic, and downright savage that I tried to avoid his company for fear that
I might do him harm. Summing up, the last time I had seen him had been one of
the latter occasions, just a bit before Eric and I had had the falling out that
led to my exile from Amber.
...And those were
my thoughts and feelings as I studied his Trump, reaching out to him with my
mind, my will, opening the vacant place I sought him to fill. About me, the
others shuffled their own memories and did the same.
Slowly the card
took on a dream-dust quality and acquired the illusion of depth. There followed
that familiar blurring, with the sense of movement which heralds contact with
the subject. The Trump grew colder beneath my fingertips, and then things
flowed and formed, achieving a sudden verity of vision, persistent, dramatic,
full.
He seemed to be
in a cell. There was a stone wall behind him. There was straw on the floor. He
was manacled, and his chain ran back through a huge ring bolt set in the wall
above and behind him. It was a fairly long chain, providing sufficient slack
for movement, and at the moment he was taking advantage of this fact, lying
sprawled on a heap of straw and rags off in the corner. His hair and beard were
quite long, his face thinner than I had ever before seen it. His clothes were
tattered and filthy. He seemed to be sleeping. My mind went back to my own
imprisonment-the smells, the cold, the wretched fare, the dampness, the
loneliness, the madness that came and went. At least he still had his eyes, for
they flickered and I saw them when several of us spoke his name; green they
were, with a flat, vacant look.
Was he drugged?
Or did he believe himself to be hallucinating?
But suddenly his
spirit returned. He raised himself. He extended his hand.
Brothers! he
said. Sisters...
I'm coming!
came a shout that shook the room.
Gerard had leaped
to his feet, knocking over his chair. He dashed across the room and snatched a
great battle ax from its pegs on the wall. He slung it at his wrist, holding
the Trump in that same hand. For a moment he froze, studying the card. Then he
extended his free hand and suddenly he was there, clasping Brand, who chose
that moment to pass out again. The image wavered. The contact was broken.
Cursing, I sought
through the pack after Gerard's own Trump. Several of the others seemed to be
doing the same thing. Locating it, I moved for contact. Slowly, the melting,
the turning, the re-forming occurred. There!
Gerard had drawn
the chain taut across the stones of the wall and was attacking it with the ax.
It was a heavy thing, however, and resisted his powerful blows for a long
while. Eventually several of the links were mashed and scarred, but by then he
had been at it for almost two minutes, and the ringing, chopping sounds had
alerted the jailers.
For there were
noises from the left-a rattling sound, the sliding of bolts, the creaking of
hinges. Although my field of perception did not extend that far, it seemed
obvious that the cell's door was being opened. Brand raised himself once more.
Gerard continued to hack at the chain.
Gerard! The
door! I shouted.
I know! he
bellowed, wrapping the chain about his arm and yanking it. It did not yield.
Then he let go of
the chain and swung the ax, as one of the horny-handed warriors rushed him,
blade upraised. The swordsman fell, to be replaced by another. Then a third and
a fourth crowded by them. Others were close on their heels.
There was a blur
of movement at that moment and Random knelt within the tableau, his right hand
clasped with Brand's, his left holding his chair before him like a shield, its
legs pointing outward. He sprang to his feet and rushed the attackers, driving
the chair like a battering ram amid them. They fell back. He raised the chair
and swung it. One lay dead on the floor, felled by Gerard's ax. Another had
drawn off to one side, clutching at the stump of his right arm. Random produced
a dagger and left it in a nearby stomach, brained two more with the chair, and
drove back the final man. Eerily, while this was going on, the dead man rose
above the floor and slowly drifted upward, spilling and dripping the while. The
one who had been stabbed collapsed to his knees, clutching at the blade.
In the meantime,
Gerard had taken hold of the chain with both hands. He braced one foot against
the wall and commenced to pull. His shoulders rose as the great muscles
tightened across his back. The chain held. Ten seconds, perhaps. Fifteen...
Then, with a snap
and a rattle, it parted. Gerard stumbled backward, catching himself with an
outflung hand. He glanced back, apparently at Random, who was out of my line of
sight at the moment. Seemingly satisfied, he turned away, stooped and raised
Brand, who had fallen unconscious again. Holding him in his arms, he turned and
extended one hand from beneath the limp form. Random leaped back into sight
beside them, sans chair, and gestured to us also.
All of us reached
for them, and a moment later they stood amid us and we crowded around.
A sort of cheer
had gone up as we rushed to touch him, to see him, our brother who had been
gone these many years and just now snatched back from his mysterious captors.
And at last, hopefully, finally, some answers might also have been liberated.
Only he looked so weak, so thin, so pale...
Get back!
Gerard shouted. I'm taking him to the couch! Then you can look all you
Dead silence. For
everyone had backed off, and then turned to stone. This was because there was
blood on Brand, and it was dripping. And this was because there was a knife in
his left side, to the rear. It had not been there moments before. Some one of
us had just tried for his kidney and possibly succeeded. I was not heartened by
the fact that the Random-Corwin Conjecture that it was One Of Us Behind It All
had just received a significant boost. I had an instant during which to
concentrate all my faculties in an attempt to mentally photograph everyone's
position. Then the spell was broken. Gerard bore Brand to the couch and we drew
aside; and we all knew that we all realized not only what had happened, but
what it implied.
Gerard set Brand
down in a prone position and tore away his filthy shirt.
Get me clean
water to bathe him, he said. And towels. Get me saline solution and glucose
and something to hang them from. Get me a whole medical kit.
Deirdre and Flora
moved toward the door.
My quarters are
closest, said Random. One of you will find a medical kit there. But the only
IV stuff is in the lab on the third floor. I'd better come and help. They
departed together.
We all had had
medical training somewhere along the line, both here and abroad. That which we
learned in Shadow, though, had to be modified in Amber. Most antibiotics from
the shadow worlds, for example, were ineffectual here. On the other hand, our
personal immunological processes appear to behave differently from those of any
other peoples we have studied, so that it is much more difficult for us to
become infected-and if infected we deal with it more expeditiously. Then, too,
we possess profound regenerative abilities.
All of which is
as it must be, of course, the ideal necessarily being superior to its shadows.
And Amberites that we are, and aware of these facts from an early age, all of
us obtained medical training relatively early in life. Basically, despite what
is often said about being your own physician, it goes back to our not
unjustified distrust of virtually everyone, and most particularly of those who
might hold our lives in their hands. All of which partly explains why I did not
rush to shoulder Gerard aside to undertake Brand's treatment myself, despite
the fact that I had been through a med school on the shadow Earth within the
past couple of generations. The other part of the explanation is that Gerard
was not letting anyone else near Brand. Julian and Fiona had both moved
forward, apparently with the same thing in mind, only to encounter Gerard's
left arm like a gate at a railway crossing.
No, he had
said. I know that I did not do it, and that is all that I know. There will be
no second chance for anyone else.
With any one of
us sustaining that sort of wound while in an otherwise sound condition, I would
say that if he made it through the first half hour he would make it. Brand,
though... The shape he was in... There was no telling.
When the others
returned with the materials and equipment, Gerard cleaned Brand, sutured the
wound, and dressed it. He hooked up the IV, broke off the manacles with a
hammer and chisel Random had located, covered Brand with a sheet and a blanket,
and took his pulse again.
How is it? I
asked.
Weak, he said,
and he drew up a chair and seated himself beside the couch. Someone fetch me
my blade-and a glass of wine. I didn't have any. Also, if there is any food
left over there, I'm hungry.
Llewella headed
for the sideboard and Random got him his blade from the rack behind the door.
Are you just
going to camp there? Random asked, passing him the weapon.
I am.
What about
moving Brand to a better bed?
He is all right
where he is. I will decide when he can be moved. In the meantime, someone get a
fire going. Then put out a few of those candles.
Random nodded.
I'll do it, he
said. Then he picked up the knife Gerard had drawn from Brand's side, a thin
stiletto, its blade about seven inches in length. He held it across the palm of
his hand.
Does anyone
recognize this? he asked.
Not I, said
Benedict.
Nor I. said
Julian.
No, I said.
The girls shook
their heads.
Random studied
it.
Easily
concealed-up a sleeve, in a boot or bodice. It took real nerve to use it that
way...
Desperation, I
said.
...And a very
accurate anticipation of our mob scene. Inspired, almost.
Could one of the
guards have done it? Julian asked. Back in the cell?
No, Gerard
said. None of them came near enough.
It looks to be decently
balanced for throwing, Deirdre said.
It is, said
Random, shifting it about his fingertips. Only none of them had a clear shot
or the opportunity. I'm positive.
Llewella
returned, bearing a tray containing slabs of meat, half a loaf of bread, a
bottle of wine, and a goblet. I cleared a small table and set it beside
Gerard's chair.
As Llewella
deposited the tray, she asked, But why? That only leaves us. Why would one of
us want to do it?
I sighed.
Whose prisoner
do you think he might have been? I asked.
One of us?
If he possessed
knowledge which someone was willing to go to this length to suppress, what do
you think? The same reason also served to put him where he was and keep him
there.
Her brows
tightened.
That does not
make sense either. Why didn't they just kill him and be done with it?
I shrugged.
Must have had
some use for him, I said. But there is really only one person who can answer
that question adequately. When you find him, ask him.
Or her, Julian
said. Sister, you seem possessed of a superabundance of naivete, suddenly.
Her gaze locked
with Julian's own, a pair of icebergs reflecting frigid infinities.
As I recall,
she said, you rose from your seat when they came through, turned to the left,
rounded the desk, and stood slightly to Gerard's right. You leaned pretty far
forward. I believe your hands were out of sight, below.
And as I
recall, he said, you were within striking distance yourself, off to Gerard's
left-and leaning forward.
I would have had
to do it with my left hand-and I am right-handed.
Perhaps he owes
what life he still possesses to that fact.
You seem awfully
anxious, Julian, to find that it was someone else.
All right, I
said. All right! You know this is self defeating. Only one of us did it, and
this is not the way to smoke him out.
Or her, Julian
added.
Gerard rose,
glowered, glared.
I will not have
you disturbing my patient, he said. And, Random, you said you were going to
see to the fire.
Right away,
Random said, and moved to do it.
Let us adjourn
to the sitting room off the main hall, I said, downstairs. Gerard, I will
post a couple of guards outside the door here.
No, Gerard
said. I would rather that anyone who wishes to try it get this far. I will
hand you his head in the morning.
I nodded.
Well, you can
ring for anything you need-or call one of us on the Trumps. We will fill you in
in the morning on anything that we learn.
Gerard seated
himself, grunted, and began eating. Random got the fire going and extinguished
some lights. Brand's blanket rose and fell, slowly but regularly. We filed
quietly from the room and headed for the stairway, leaving them there together
with the flare and the crackle, the tubes and the bottles.
CHAPTER 7
Many are the
times I have awakened, sometimes shaking, always afraid, from the dream that I
occupied my old cell, blind once more, in the dungeons beneath Amber. It is not
as if I were unfamiliar with the condition of imprisonment. I have been locked
away on a number of occasions, for various periods of time. But solitary, plus
blindness with small hope of recovery, made for a big charge at the
sensory-deprivation counter in the department store of the mind. That, with the
sense of finality to it all, had left its marks. I generally keep these
memories safely tucked away during waking hours, but at night, sometimes, they
come loose, dance down the aisles and frolic round the notions counter, one,
two, three. Seeing Brand there in his cell had brought them out again, along
with an unseasonal chill; and that final thrust served to establish a more or
less permanent residence for them. Now, among my kin in the shield-hung sitting
room, I could not avoid the thought that one or more of them had done unto
Brand as Eric had done unto me. While this capacity was in itself hardly a
surprising discovery, the matter of occupying the same room with the culprit
and having no idea as to his identity was more than a little disturbing. My
only consolation was that each of the others, according to his means, must be
disturbed also. Including the guilty, now that the existence theorem had shown
a positive. I knew then that I had been hoping all along that outsiders were
entirely to blame. Now, though... On the one hand I felt even more restricted
than usual in what I could say. On the other, it seemed a good time to press
for information, with everyone in an abnormal state of mind. The desire to
cooperate for purposes of dealing with the threat could prove helpful. And even
the guilty party would want to behave the same as everyone else. Who knew but
that he might slip up while making the effort?
Well, have you
any other interesting little experiments you would care to conduct? Julian
asked me, clasping his hands behind his head and leaning back in my favorite
chair.
Not at the
moment, I said.
Pity, he
replied. I was hoping you would suggest we go looking for Dad now in the same
fashion. Then, if we are lucky, we find him and someone puts him out of the way
with more certainty. After that, we could all play Russian roulette with those
fine new weapons you've furnished-winner take all.
Your words are
ill-considered, I said.
Not so. I
considered every one of them, he answered. We spend so much time lying to one
another that I decided it might be amusing to say what I really felt. Just to
see whether anyone noticed.
Now you see that
we have. We also notice that the real you is no improvement over the old one.
Whichever you
prefer, both of us have been wondering whether you have any idea what you are
going to do next.
I do, I said.
I now intend to obtain answers to a number of questions dealing with
everything that is plaguing us. We might as well start with Brand and his
troubles.
Turning toward
Benedict, who was sitting gazing into the fire, I said, Back in Avalon,
Benedict, you told me that Brand was one of the ones who searched for me after
my disappearance.
That is
correct, Benedict answered.
All of us went
looking, Julian said.
Not at first, I
replied. Initially, it was Brand, Gerard, and yourself, Benedict. Isn't that
what you told me?
Yes, he said.
The others did have a go at it later, though. I told you that, too.
I nodded.
Did Brand report
anything unusual at that time? I asked.
Unusual? In what
way? said Benedict.
I don't know. I
am looking for some connection between what happened to him and what happened
to me.
Then you are
looking in the wrong place, Benedict said. He returned and reported no
success. And he was around for ages after that, unmolested.
I gathered that
much, I said. I understand from what Random has told me, though, that his
final disappearance occurred approximately a month before my own recovery and
return. That almost strikes me as peculiar. If he did not report anything
special after his return from the search, did he do so prior to his
disappearance? Or in the interim? Anyone? Anything? Say it if you've got it!
There followed
some mutual glancing about. The looks seemed more curious than suspicious or
nervous, though.
Finally, then,
Well, Llewella said, I do not know. Do not know whether it is significant, I
mean.
All eyes came to
rest upon her. She began to knot and unknot the ends of her belt cord, slowly,
as she spoke.
It was in the
interim, and it may have no bearing, she went on. It is just something that
struck me as peculiar. Brand came to Rebma long ago
How long ago? I
asked.
She furrowed her
brow.
Fifty, sixty,
seventy years... I am not certain.
I tried to summon
up the rough conversion factor I had worked out during my long incarceration. A
day in Amber, it seemed, constituted a bit over two and a half days on the
shadow Earth where I had spent my exile. I wanted to relate events in Amber to
my own time-scale whenever possible, just in case any peculiar correspondences
turned up. So Brand had gone to Rebma sometime in what was, to me, the
nineteenth century.
Whatever the
date, she said, he came and visited me. Stayed for several weeks. She
glanced at Random then. He was asking about Martin.
Random narrowed
his eyes and cocked his head. Did he say why? he asked her.
Not exactly,
she said. He implied that he had met Martin somewhere in his travels, and he
gave the impression that he would like to get in touch with him again. I did
not realize until some time after his departure that finding out everything he
could concerning Martin was probably the entire reason for his visit. You know
how subtle Brand can be, finding out things without seeming to be after them.
It was only after I had spoken with a number of others whom he had visited that
I began to see what had occurred. I never did find out why, though.
That is-most
peculiar, Random observed. For it brings to mind something to which I had
never attached any significance. He once questioned me at great length
concerning my son-and it may well have been at about the same time. He never
indicated that he had met him, however-or that he had any desire to do so. It
started out as a bit of banter on the subject of bastards. When I took offense
he apologized and asked a number of more proper questions about the boy, which
I assumed he then put for the sake of politeness-to leave me with a softer
remembrance. As you say, though, he had a way of drawing admissions from
people. Why is it you never told me of. this before?
She smiled
prettily.
Why should I
have? she said.
Random nodded
slowly, his face expressionless.
Well, what did
you tell him? he said. What did he learn? What do you know about Martin that
I don't?
She shook her
head, her smile fading.
Nothing-actually,
she said. To my knowledge, no one in Rebma ever heard from Martin after he
took the Pattern and vanished. I do not believe that Brand departed knowing any
more than he did when he arrived.
Strange... I
said. Did he approach anyone else on the subject?
I don't
remember, Julian said.
Nor I, said
Benedict.
The others shook
their heads.
Then let us note
it and leave it for now, I said. There are other things I also need to know.
Julian, I understand that you and Gerard attempted to follow the black road a
while back, and that Gerard was injured along the way. I believe you both
stayed with Benedict for a time after that, while Gerard recuperated. I would
like to know about that expedition.
It seems as if
you already do, Julian replied. You have just stated everything that
occurred.
Where did you
learn of this, Corwin, Benedict inquired.
Back in Avalon,
I said.
From whom?
Dara, I said.
He rose to his
feet, came over, stood before me, glared down.
You still
persist in that absurd story about the girl!
I sighed.
We have been
round and round on this too many times, I said. By now I have told you
everything that I know on the subject. Either you accept it or you do not. She
is the one who told me, though.
Apparently,
then, there were some things you did not tell me. You never mentioned that part
before.
Is it true or
isn't it? About Julian and Gerard.
It is true, he
said.
Then forget the
source for now and let us get on with what happened.
Agreed,
Benedict said. I may speak candidly, now that the reason for secrecy is no
longer with us. Eric, of course. He was unaware of my whereabouts, as were most
of the others. Gerard was my main source of news in Amber. Eric grew more and
more apprehensive concerning the black road and finally decided to send scouts
to trace it through Shadow to its source. Julian and Gerard were selected. They
were attacked by a very strong party of its creatures at a point near Avalon.
Gerard called to me, via my Trump, for assistance and I went to their aid. The
enemy was dispatched. As Gerard had sustained a broken leg in the fighting and
Julian was a bit battered himself, I took them both home with me. I broke my
silence with Eric at that time, to tell him where they were and what had become
of them. He ordered them not to continue their journey, but to return to Amber
after they had recovered. They remained with me until they did. Then they went
back.
That is all?
That is all.
But it wasn't.
Dara had also told me something else. She had mentioned another visitor. I
remembered it quite distinctly. That day, beside the stream, a tiny rainbow in
the mist above the waterfall, the mill wheel turning round and round,
delivering dreams and grinding them, that day we had fenced and talked and
walked in Shadow, had passed through a primordial wood, coming to a Spot beside
a mighty torrent where turned a wheel fit for the granary of the gods, that day
we had picnicked, flirted, gossiped, she had told me many things, some of them
doubtless false. But she had not lied concerning the journey of Julian and
Gerard, and I believed it possible that she had also spoken truly when she said
that Brand had visited Benedict in Avalon. Frequently was the word she had
used.
Now, Benedict
made no secret of the fact that he distrusted me. I could see this alone as
sufficient reason for his withholding information on anything he judged too
sensitive to become my business. Hell, buying his story, I would not have
trusted me either if our situations were reversed. Only a fool would have
called him on it at that moment, though. Because of the other possibilities.
It could be that
he planned to tell me later, in private, of the circumstances surrounding
Brand's visits. They could well have involved something he did not wish to
discuss before the group, and especially before Brand's would-be killer.
Or-There was, of
course, the possibility that Benedict himself was behind it all. I did not even
like to think about the consequences. Having served under Napoleon, Lee, and
MacArthur, I appreciated the tactician as well as the strategist. Benedict was
both, and he was the best I had ever known. The recent loss of his right arm
had in no way diminished him in this, or for that matter impaired his personal
fighting skills. Had I not been very lucky recently he could easily have turned
me into a pile of scallops over our misunderstanding. No, I did not want it to
be Benedict, and I was not about to grope after whatever he had at that moment
seen fit to conceal. I only hoped that he was just saving it for later.
So I settled for
his, That is all, and decided to move on to other matters.
Flora, I said,
back when I first visited you, after my accident, you said something which I
still do not quite understand. In that I had ample time relatively soon
thereafter in which to review many things, I came across it in my memories and
occasionally puzzled over it. I still do not understand it. So would you please
tell me what you meant when you said that the shadows contained more horrors
than any had thought?
Why, I do not
properly recall saying it, Flora said. But I suppose that I must have, if it
made such an impression. You know the effect that I was referring to: that Amber
seems to act as something of a magnet on adjacent shadows, drawing things
across from them; the nearer you get to Amber the easier the road becomes, even
for shadow-things. While there always seems to be some exchange of materials
among adjacent shadows themselves, the effect is more forceful and also more of
a one-way process when it comes to Amber. We have always been alert for
peculiar things slipping through. Well, for several years prior to your
recovery, more such things than usual seemed to be showing up in the vicinity
of Amber. Dangerous things, almost invariably. Many were recognizable creatures
from nearby realms. After a time, though, things kept coming in from farther
and farther afield. Eventually, some which were totally unknown made it through.
No reason could be found for this sudden transportation of menaces, although we
sought fairly far for disturbances which might be driving them this way. In
other words, highly improbable penetrations of Shadow were occurring.
This actually
began while Dad was still around?
Oh yes. It
started several years before your recovery-as I said.
I see. Did
anyone consider the possibility of there being a connection between this state
of affairs and Dad's departure?
Certainly,
Benedict replied. I still feel that that was the reason for it. He went off to
investigate, or to seek a remedy.
But that is
purely conjecture, Julian said. You know how he was. He gave no reasons.
Benedict
shrugged.
It is a
reasonable inference, though, he said. I understand that he had spoken of his
concern over the-monster migrations, if you like-on numerous occasions.
I withdrew my
cards from their case, having recently gotten into the habit of carrying a set
of Trumps with me at all times. I raised Gerard's Trump and regarded it. The
others were silent, watching me as I did this. Moments later, there was
contact.
Gerard was still
seated in his chair, his blade across his knees. He was still eating. He
swallowed when he felt my presence and said, Yes, Corwin? What do you want?
How is Brand?
Sleeping, he
said. His pulse is a little stronger. His breathing is the same-regular. It's
still too early
I know,"l
said. I mainly wanted to check your recollection of something: Near the end
there, did you get the impression from anything he might have said or done that
Dad's going away might have been connected with the increased number of Shadow
beings that were slipping through into Amber?
That, said
Julian, is what is known as a leading question.
Gerard wiped his
mouth.
There could have
been a connection, yes, he said. He seemed disturbed, preoccupied with
something. And he did talk about the creatures. But he never really said that
that was his main concern. -or whether it was something entirely different.
Like what?
He shook his
head.
Anything.
I-yes... yes, there is something you probably ought to know, for whatever it is
worth. Some time after his disappearance, I did make an effort to find out one
thing. That was, whether I was indeed the last person to see him before his
departure. I am fairly certain that I was. I had been here in the palace all
evening, and I was preparing to return to the flagship. Dad had retired about
an hour earlier, but I had stayed on in the guard room, playing draughts with Captain
Thoben. As we were sailing the following morning, I decided to take a book with
me. So I came up here to the library. Dad was seated at the desk. He gestured
with his head. He was going through some old books, and he had not yet changed
his garments. He nodded to me when I entered, and I told him I had just come up
for a book. He said, 'You've come to the right place,' and he kept on reading.
While I was looking over the shelves, he said something to the effect that he
could not sleep. I found a book, told him good night, he said, 'Good sailing,'
and I left.
He lowered his
eyes again. Now I am positive he was wearing the Jewel of Judgment that night,
that I saw it on him then as plainly as I see it on you now. I am equally
certain that he had not had it on earlier that evening. For a long while after,
I thought that he had taken it along with him, wherever he went. There was no
indication in his chambers that he had later changed his clothing. I never saw
the stone again until you and Bleys were defeated in your assault on Amber.
Then, Eric was wearing it. When I questioned him he claimed that he had found
it in Dad's chambers. Lacking evidence to the contrary, I had to accept his
story. But I was never happy with it. Your question-and seeing you wearing
it-has brought it all back. So I thought you had better know about it.
Thanks, I said,
and another question occurred to me but I decided against asking it at that
moment. For the benefit of the others, I closed off by saying, So do you think
he needs any more blankets? Or anything else?
Gerard raised his
glass to me, then took a drink.
Very good. Keep
up the good work, I said, and I passed my hand over his card.
Brother Brand
seems to be doing all right, I said, and Gerard does not recollect Dad's
saying anything that would directly connect Shadow slippage and his departure.
I wonder how Brand will recall things, when he comes around?
If he comes
around, Julian said.
I think that he
will, I said. We have all taken some pretty bad beatings. Our vitality is one
of the few things we have come to trust. My guess is that he will be talking by
morning.
What do you
propose doing with the guilty party, he asked, if Brand names him?
Question him, I
said.
Then I would
like to do the questioning. I am beginning to feel that you may be right this
time, Corwin, and that the person who stabbed him may also be responsible for
our intermittent state of siege, for Dad's disappearance, and for Caine's
killing. So I would enjoy questioning him before we cut his throat, and I would
like to volunteer for that last part also.
We will keep it
in mind, I said.
You are not
excluded from the reckoning, Corwin.
I was aware of
that.
I have something
to say, said Benedict, smothering a rejoinder from Julian. I find myself
troubled both by the strength and the apparent objective of the opposition. I
have encountered them now on several occasions, and they are out for blood.
Accepting for the moment your story of the girl Dara, Corwin, her final words
do seem to sum up their attitude: 'Amber will be destroyed. ' Not conquered,
subjugated, or taught a lesson. Destroyed. Julian, you wouldn't mind ruling
here, would you? Julian smiled.
Perhaps next
year this time, he said. Not today, thank you.
What I am
getting at is that I could see you-or any of us-employing mercenaries or
obtaining allies to effect a takeover. I cannot see you employing a force so
powerful that it would represent a grave problem itself afterward. Not a force
that seems bent on destruction rather than conquest. I cannot see you, me,
Corwin, the others as actually trying to destroy Amber, or willing to gamble
with forces that would. That is the part I do not like about Corwin's notion
that one of us is behind this.
I had to nod. I
was not unaware of the weakness of that link in my chain of speculations.
Still, there were so many unknowns... I could offer alternatives, such as
Random then did, but guesses prove nothing.
It may be,
Random said, that one of us made the deal but underestimated his allies. The
guilty party may now be sweating this thing as much as the rest of us. He may
not be in a position to turn things off now, even if he wants to.
We could offer
him the opportunity, Fiona said, to betray his allies to us now. If Julian
could be persuaded to leave his throat uncut and the rest of us were willing to
do the same, he might come around-if Random's guess is correct. He would not
claim the throne, but he was obviously not about to have it before. He would
have his life and he could save Amber quite a bit of trouble. Is anyone willing
to commit himself to a position on this?
I am, I said.
I will give him life if he will come across, with the understanding that it
will be spent in exile.
I will go along
with that, Benedict said.
So will I, said
Random.
On one
condition, Julian said. If he was not personally responsible for Caine's
death, I will go along with it. Otherwise, no. And there would have to be
evidence.
Life, in exile,
Deirdre said. All right. I agree.
So do I, said
Flora.
And I, Llewella
followed.
Gerard will
probably agree too, I said. But I really wonder whether Brand will feel the
same as the rest of us. I've a feeling he may not.
Let us check
with Gerard, Benedict said. If Brand makes it and proves the only holdout,
the guilty party will know he has only one enemy to avoid-and they can always
work out their own terms on that count.
All right, I
said, smothering a few misgivings, and I recontacted Gerard, who agreed also.
So we rose to our
feet and swore that much by the Unicorn of Amber-Julian's oath having an extra
clause to it-and swore to enforce exile on any of our own number who violated
the oath. Frankly, I did not think it would net us anything, but it is always
nice to see families doing things together.
After that,
everyone made a point of mentioning that he would be remaining in the palace
overnight, presumably to indicate that no one feared anything Brand might have
to say in the morning-and especially to indicate that no one had a desire to
get out of town, a thing that would not be forgotten, even if Brand gave up the
ghost during the night. In that I had no further questions to put to the group
and no one had sprung forward to own up to the misdeeds covered by the oath, I
leaned back and listened for a time after that. Things came apart, falling into
a series of conversations and exchanges, one of the main topics being an
attempted reconstruction of the library tableau, each of us in his own place
and, invariably, why each of us was in a position to have done it, except for
the speaker. I smoked; I said nothing on the subject. Deirdre did spot an
interesting possibility, however. Namely, that Gerard could have done the
stabbing himself while we were all crowded around, and that his heroic efforts
were not prompted by any desire to save Brand's neck, but rather to achieve a
position where he could stop his tongue-in which case Brand would never make it
through the night. Ingenious, but I just couldn't believe it. No one else
bought it either. At least, no one volunteered to go upstairs and throw Gerard
out. After a time Fiona drifted over and sat beside me.
Well, I've tried
the only thing I could think of, she said. I hope some good comes of it.
It may, I said.
I see that you
have added a peculiar piece of ornamentation to your wardrobe, she said,
raising the Jewel of Judgment between her thumb and forefinger and studying it.
Then she raised
her eyes.
Can you make it
do tricks for you? she asked.
Some, I said.
Then you knew
how to attune it. It involves the Pattern, doesn't it?
Yes. Eric told
me how to go about it, right before he died.
I see.
She released it,
settled back into her seat, regarded the flames.
Did he give you
any cautions to go along with it? she asked.
No, I said.
I wonder whether
that was a matter of design or circumstance?
Well, he was
pretty busy dying at the time. That limited our conversation considerably.
I know. I was
wondering whether his hatred for you outweighed his hopes for the realm, or
whether he was simply ignorant of some of the principles involved.
What do you know
about it?
Think again of
Eric's death, Corwin. I was not there when it occurred, but I came in early for
the funeral. I was present when his body was bathed, shaved, dressed-and I
examined his wounds. I do not believe that any of them were fatal, in
themselves. There were three chest wounds, but only one looked as if it might
have run into the mediastinal area
One's enough,
if
Wait, she said.
It was difficult, but I tried judging the angle of the puncture with a thin
glass rod. I wanted to make an incision, but Caine would not permit it. Still,
I do not believe that his heart or arteries were damaged. It is still not too
late to order an autopsy, if you would like me to check further on this. I am
certain that his injuries and the general stress contributed to his death, but
I believe it was the jewel that made the difference.
Why do you think
this?
Because of some
things that Dworkin said when I studied with him-and things that I noticed
afterward, because of this. He indicated that while it conferred unusual
abilities, it also represented a drain on the vitality of its master. The
longer you wear it, the more it somehow takes out of you. I paid attention
after that, and I noticed that Dad wore it only seldom and never kept it on for
long periods of time.
My thoughts
returned to Eric, the day he lay dying on the slopes of Kolvir, the battle
raging about him. I remembered my first look at him, his face pale, his breath
labored, blood on his chest... And the Jewel of Judgment, there on its chain,
was pulsing, heartlike, among the moist folds of bis garments. I had never seen
it do that before, or since. I recalled that the effect had grown fainter,
weaker. And when he died and I folded his hands atop it, the phenomenon had
ceased.
What do you know
of its function? I asked her.
She shook her
head.
Dworkin considered
that a state secret. I know the obvious-weather control-and I inferred from
some of Dad's remarks that it has something to do with a heightened perception,
or a higher perception. Dworkin had mentioned it primarily as an example of the
pervasiveness of the Pattern in everything that gives us power-even the Trumps
contain the Pattern, if you look closely, look long enough-and he cited it as
an instance of a conservation principle: all of our special powers have their
price. The greater the power, the larger the investment. The Trumps are a small
matter, but there is still an element of fatigue involved in their employment.
Walking through Shadow, which is an exercise of the image of the Pattern which
exists within us, is an even greater expenditure. To essay the Pattern itself,
physically, is a massive drain on one's energies. But the jewel, he said,
represents an even higher octave of the same thing, and its cost to its
employer is exponentially greater.
Thus, if correct,
another ambiguous insight into the character of my late and least favored
brother. If he were aware of this phenomenon and had donned the jewel and worn
it overlong anyhow, in the defense of Amber, it made him something of a hero.
But then, seen in this light, his passing it along to me, without warnings,
became a deathbed effort at a final piece of vengeance. But he had exempted me
from his curse, he'd said, so as to spend it properly on our enemies in the
field. This, of course, only meant that he hated them a little more than he hated
me and was deploying his final energies as strategically as possible, for
Amber. I thought then of the partial character of Dworkin's notes, as I had
recovered them from the hiding place Eric had indicated. Could it be that Eric
had acquired them intact and had purposely destroyed that portion containing
the cautions so as to damn his successor? That notion did not strike me as
quite adequate, for he had had no way of knowing that I would return when I
did, as I did, that the course of battle would run as it had, and that I would
indeed be his successor. It could just as easily have been one of his favorites
that followed him to power, in which case he would certainly not have wanted
him to inherit any booby traps. No. As I saw it, either Eric was not really
aware of this property of the stone, having acquired only partial instructions
for its use, or someone had gotten to those papers before I had and removed
sufficient material to leave me with a mortal liability. It may well have been
the hand of the real enemy, once again.
Do you know the
safety factor? I asked.
No, she said.
I can give you only two pointers, for whatever they may be worth. The first is
that I do not recall Dad's ever wearing it for long periods of time. The
second, I pieced together from a number of things that he said, beginning with
a comment to the effect that 'when people turn into statues you are either in
the wrong place or in trouble. ' I pressed him quite a bit on that, over a long
period of time, and I eventually got the impression that the first sign of
having worn it too long is some sort of distortion of your time sense.
Apparently it begins speeding up the metabolism-everything-with a net effect
that the world seems to be slowing down around you. This must take quite a toll
on a person. That is everything that I know about it, and I admit that a large
part of the last is guesswork. How long have you been wearing it?
A while now, I
said, taking my mental pulse and glancing about to see whether things seemed to
be slowing down any.
I could not
really tell, though of course I did not feel in the best of shape. I had
assumed it was totally Gerard's doing, though. I was not about to yank it off,
however, just because another family member had suggested it, even if it was
clever Fiona in one of her friendlier moods. Perversity, cussedness... No,
independence. That was it. That and purely formal distrust. I had only put it
on for the evening a few hours before, anyway. I'd wait.
Well, you have
made your point in wearing it, she was saying. I simply wanted to advise you
against prolonged exposure until you know more about it.
Thanks, Fi. I'll
have it off soon, and I appreciate your telling me. By the way, whatever became
of Dworkin?
She tapped her
temple.
His mind finally
went, poor man. I like to think that Dad had him put away in some restful
retreat in Shadow.
I see what you
mean, I said. Yes, let us think that. Poor fellow.
Julian rose to
his feet, concluding a conversation with Llewella. He stretched, nodded to her,
and strolled over.
Corwin, have you
thought of any more questions for us? he said.
None that I'd
care to ask just now.
He smiled.
Anything more
that you want to tell us?
Not at the
moment.
Any more
experiments, demonstrations, charades?
No.
Good. Then I'm
going to bed. Good night.
Night.
He bowed to
Fiona, waved to Benedict and Random, nodded to Flora and Deirdre as he passed
them on the way to the door. He paused on the threshold, turned back and said,
Now you can all talk about me, and went on out.
All right,
Fiona said. Let's. I think he's the one.
Why? I asked.
I'll go down the
list, subjective, intuitive, and biased as it is. Benedict, in my opinion, is
above suspicion. If he wanted the throne, he'd have it by now, by direct,
military methods. With all the time he has had, he could have managed an attack
that would have succeeded, even against Dad. He is that good, and we all know
it. You, on the other hand, have made a number of blunders which you would not
have made had you been in full possession of your faculties. That is why I
believe your story, amnesia and all. No one gets himself blinded as a piece of
strategy. Gerard is well on the way to establishing his own innocence. I almost
think he is up there with Brand now more for that reason than from any desire
to protect Brand. At any rate, we will know for sure before long-or else have
some new suspicions. Random has simply been watched too closely these past
years to have had the opportunity to engineer everything that has been
happening. So he is out. Of us more delicate sorts. Flora hasn't the brains,
Deirdre lacks the guts, Llewella hasn't the motivations, as she is happy
elsewhere but never here, and I, of course, am innocent of all but malice. That
leaves Julian. Is he capable? Yes. Does he want the throne? Of course. Has he
had time and opportunity? Again, yes. He is your man.
Would he have
killed Caine? I asked.
They were
buddies.
She curled her
lip.
Julian has no friends,
she said. That icy personality of his is thawed only by thoughts of himself.
Oh, in recent years he seemed closer to Caine than to anyone else. But even
that... even that could have been a part of it. Shamming a friendship long
enough to make it seem believable, so that he would not be suspect at this
time. I can believe Julian capable of that because I cannot believe him capable
of strong emotional attachments.
I shook my head.
I don't know, I
said. His friendship with Caine is something that occurred during my absence,
so everything I know concerning it is secondhand. Still, if Julian were looking
for friendship in the form of another personality close to his own, I can see
it. They were a lot alike. I tend to think it was real, because I don't think
anybody is capable of deceiving someone about his friendship for years. Unless
the other party is awfully stupid, which is something Caine was not. And-well,
you say your reasoning was subjective, intuitive, and biased. So is mine, on
something like this. I just don't like to think anybody is such a miserable
wretch that he would use his only friend that way. That's why I think there is
something wrong with your list.
She sighed.
For someone who
has been around for as long as you have, Corwin, you say some silly things.
Were you changed by your long stay in that funny little place? Years ago you
would have seen the obvious, as I do.
Perhaps I have
changed, for such things no longer seem obvious. Or could it be that you have
changed, Fiona? A trifle more cynical than the little girl I once knew. It
might not have been all that obvious to you, years ago.
She smiled
softly.
Never tell a
woman she has changed, Corwin. Except for the better. You used to know that,
too. Could it be that you are really only one of Corwin's shadows, sent back to
suffer and intimidate here on his behalf? Is the real Corwin somewhere else.
laughing at us all?
I am here, and I
am not laughing, I said. She laughed.
Yes, that is
it! she said. I have just decided that you are not yourself!
Announcement,
everybody! she cried, springing to her feet. I have just noticed that this is
not really Corwin! It has to be one of his shadows! It has just announced a
belief in friendship, dignity, nobility of spirit, and those other things which
figure prominently in popular romances! I am obviously onto something!
The others stared
at her. She laughed again, then sat down abruptly.
I heard Flora
mutter drunk and return to her conversation with Deirdre.
Random said,
Let's hear it for shadows, and turned back to a discussion with Benedict and
Llewella.
See? she said.
What?
You're
insubstantial, she said, patting my knee. And so am I, now that I think about
it. It has been a bad day, Corwin.
I know. I feel
like hell, too. I thought I had such a fine idea for getting Brand back. Not
only that, it worked. A lot of good it did him.
Don't overlook
those bits of virtue you've acquired, she said. You're not to blame for the
way it turned out.
Thanks.
I believe that
Julian might have had the right idea, she said. I don't feel like staying
awake any longer.
I rose with: her,
walked her to the door.
I'm all right,
she said. Really.
Sure?
She nodded
sharply.
See you in the
morning then.
I hope so, she
said. Now you can talk about me.
She winked and
went out.
I turned back,
saw that Benedict and Llewella were approaching.
Turning in? I asked.
Benedict nodded.
Might as well,
Llewella said, and she kissed me on the cheek.
What was that
for?
A number of
things, she said. Good night.
Good night.
Random was
crouched on the hearth, poking at the fire. Deirdre turned to him and said, Don't
throw on more wood just for us. Flora and I are going too.
Okay. He set
the poker aside and rose. Sleep well, he called after them.
Deirdre gave me a
sleepy smile and Flora a nervous one. I added my good nights and watched them
leave.
Learn anything
new and useful? Random asked.
I shrugged.
Did you?
Opinions,
conjectures. No new facts, he said. We were trying to decide who might be
next on the list.
And... ?
Benedict thinks
it's a toss-up. You or him. Providing you are not behind it all, of course. He
also thinks your buddy Ganelon ought to watch his step.
Ganelon... Yes,
that's a thought-and it should have been mine. I think he is right about the
toss-up, too. It may even be slightly weighted against him, since they know I'm
alert because of the attempted frameup.
I would say that
all of us are now aware that Benedict is alert himself. He managed to mention
his opinion to everyone. I believe that he would welcome an attempt.
I chuckled.
That balances
the coin again. I guess it is a toss-up.
He said that,
too. Naturally, he knew I would tell you.
Naturally, I
wish he would start talking to me again. Well... not much I can do about it
now, I said. The hell with everything. I'm going to bed.
He nodded.
Look under it first.
We left the room,
headed up the hall.
Corwin, I wish
you'd had the foresight to bring some coffee back with you, along with the
guns, he said. I could use a cup.
Doesn't it keep
you awake?
No. I like a
couple of cups in the evening.
I miss it
mornings. We'll have to import some when this mess is all settled.
Small comfort,
but a good idea. What got into Fi, anyhow?
She thinks
Julian is our man.
She may be
right.
What about
Caine?
Supposing it was
not a single individual, he said as we mounted the stair. Say it was two,
like Julian and Caine. They finally had a falling out, Caine lost, Julian
disposed of him and used the death, to weaken your position as well. Former
friends make the worst enemies.
It's no use, I
said. I get dizzy when I start sorting the possibilities. We are either going
to have to wait for something more to happen, or make something happen.
Probably the latter. But not tonight
Hey! Wait up!
Sorry. I paused
at the landing. Don't know what got into me. Finishing spurt, I guess.
Nervous energy,
he said, coming abreast of me once more. We continued on up, and I made an
effort to match his pace, fighting down a desire to hurry.
Well, sleep
well, he said finally.
Good night.
Random.
He continued on
up the stair and I headed off along the corridor toward my quarters. I was
feeling jittery by then, which must be why I dropped my key.
I reached and
plucked it out of the air before it had fallen very far. Simultaneously, I was
struck by the impression that its motion was somewhat slower than it should
have been. I inserted it in the lock and turned it.
The room was
dark, but I decided against lighting a candle or an oil lamp. I had gotten used
to the dark a long time ago. I locked and bolted the door. My eyes were already
half adjusted to the gloom, from the dim hallway. I turned. There was some
starlight leaking in about the drapes, too. I crossed the room, unfastening my
collar.
He was waiting in
my bed chamber, to the left of the entrance. He was perfectly positioned and he
did nothing to give himself away. I walked right into it. He had the ideal
station, he held the dagger ready, he had the element of total surprise going
for him. By rights I should have died-not in my bed, but just there at its
foot.
I caught a
glimpse of the movement, realized the presence and its significance as I
stepped over the threshold.
I knew that it
was too late to avoid the thrust even as I raised my arm to try to block it.
But one peculiarity struck me before the blade itself did: my assailant seemed
to be moving too slowly. Quick, with all the tension of his wait behind it,
that is how it should have been. I should never have known it was occurring
until after the act, if then. I should not have had time to turn partway and
swing my arm as far as I did. A ruddy haze filled my vision and I felt my
forearm strike the side of the outflung arm at about the same moment as the
steel touched my belly and bit. Within the redness there seemed a faint tracing
of that cosmic version of the Pattern I had followed earlier in the day. As I
doubled and fell, unable to think but still for a moment conscious, it came
clearer, came nearer, the design. I wanted to flee, but horse my body stumbled.
I was thrown.
CHAPTER 8
Out of every life
a little blood must spill. Unfortunately, it was my turn again, and it felt
like more than a little. I was lying, doubled up, on my right side, both arms
clutching at my middle. I was wet, and every now and then something trickled
along the creases of my belly. Front, lower left, just above the beltline, I
felt like a casually opened envelope. These were my first sensations as
consciousness came around again. And my first thought was, What is he waiting
for? Obviously, the coup de grace had been withheld. Why?
I opened my eyes.
They had taken advantage of whatever time had elapsed to adjust themselves to
the darkness. I turned my head. I did not see anyone else in the room with me.
But something peculiar had occurred and I could not quite place it. I closed my
eyes and let my head fall back to the mattress once more. Something was wrong,
yet at the same time right...
The mattress...
Yes, I was lying on my bed. I doubted my ability to have gotten there
unassisted. But it would be absurd to knife me and them help me to bed.
My bed... It was
my bed, yet it was not.
I squeezed my
eyes tight. I gritted my teeth. I did not understand. I knew that my thinking
could not be normal there on the fringes of shock, my blood pooling in my guts
and then leaking out. I tried to force myself to think clearly. It was not
easy.
My bed. Before
you are fully aware of anything else, you are aware whether you are awakening
in your own bed. And I was, but
I fought down an
enormous impulse to sneeze, because I felt it would tear me apart. I compressed
my nostrils and breathed in short gasps through my mouth. The taste, smell and
feel of dust was all about me.
The nasal assault
subsided and I opened my eyes. I knew then where I was. I did not understand
the why and how of it, but I had come once more to a place I had never expected
to see again. I lowered my right hand, used it to raise myself.
It was my bedrom
in my house. The old one. The place which had been mine back when I was Carl
Corey. I had been returned to Shadow, to that world heavy with dust. The bed
had not been made up since the last time I had slept in it, over half a decade
before. I knew the state of the house fully, having looked in on it only a few
weeks earlier.
I pushed myself
further, managed to slide my feet out over the edge of the bed and down. Then I
doubled up again and sat there. It was bad.
While I felt
temporarily safe from further assault, I knew that I required more than safety
just then. I had to have help, and I was in no position to help myself. I was
not even certain how much longer I might remain conscious. So I had to get down
and get out. The phone would be dead, the nearest house was not too close by. I
would have to get down to the road, at least. I reflected grimly that one of my
reasons for locating where I had was that it was not a well-traveled road. I
enjoy my solitude, at least some of the time.
With my right
hand I drew up the nearest pillow and slipped off its case. I turned it inside
out, tried to fold it, gave up, wadded it, slipped it beneath my shirt, and
pressed it against my wound. Then I sat there, just holding it in place. It had
been a major exertion and I found it painful to take too deep a breath.
After a time,
though, I drew the second pillow to me, held it across my knees and let it slip
out of its case.
I wanted the
pillowslip to wave at a passing motorist, for my garments, as usual, were dark.
Before I could draw it through my belt, though, I was confounded by the
behavior of the pillow itself. It had not yet reached the floor. I had released
it, nothing was supporting it, and it was moving. But it was moving quite
slowly, descending with a dreamlike deliberation.
I thought of the
fall of the key as I had dropped it outside my room. I thought of my unintended
quickness on mounting the stair with Random. I thought of Fiona's words and of
the Jewel of Judgment, which still hung about my neck now pulsating in time
with the throbbing of my side. It might have saved my life, at least for the
moment; yes, it probably had, if Fiona's notions were correct. It had probably
given me a moment or so more than would otherwise have been my due when the
assailant struck, letting me turn, letting me swing my arm. It might, somehow,
even have been responsible for my sudden transportation. But I would have to
think about such things at another time, should I succeed in maintaining a
meaningful relationship with the future. For now, the jewel had to go-in case
Fiona's fears concerning it were also correct-and I had to get moving.
I tucked away the
second pillow cover, then tried to stand, holding on to the footboard. No good!
Dizziness and too much pain. I lowered myself to the floor, afraid of passing
out on the way down. I made it. I rested. Then I began to move, a slow crawl.
The front door,
as I recalled, was now nailed shut. All right. Out the back, then.
I made it to the
bedroom and halted, leaning against its frame. As I rested there I removed the
Jewel of Judgment from my neck and wrapped its chain about my wrist. I had to
cache it someplace, and the safe in my study was too far out of the way.
Besides, I believed that I was leaving a trail of blood. Anyone finding and
following it might well be curious enough to investigate and spring the small
thing. And I lacked the time and the energy...
I made my way
out, around, and through. I had to rise and exert myself to get the back door
open. I made the mistake of not resting first.
When I regained
consciousness, I was lying across the threshold. The night was raw and clouds
filled much of the sky. A mean wind rattled branches above the patio. I felt
several drops of moisture on the back of my outflung hand.
I pushed up and
crawled out. The snow was about two inches deep. The icy air helped to revive
me. With something near panic, I realized just how foggy my mind had been
during much of my course from the bedroom. It was possible that I might go
under at any time.
I started
immediately for the far corner of the house, deviating only to reach the
compost heap, tear my way into it, drop the jewel, and reposition the clump of
dead grasses I had broken loose. I brushed snow over it and continued on.
Once I made it
about the corner, I was shielded from the wind and headed down a slight
incline. I reached the front of the house and rested once more. A car had just
passed and I watched its taillights dwindle. It was the only vehicle in sight.
Icy crystals
stung my face as I moved again. My knees were wet and burning cold. The front
yard sloped, gently at first, then dropped sharply toward the road. There was a
dip about a hundred yards to the right, where motorists generally hit their
brakes. It seemed that this might give me a few moments more in the headlights
of anyone coming from that direction-one of those small assurances the mind always
seeks when things get serious, an aspirin for the emotions. With three rest
stops, I made it down to the roadside, then over to the big rock that bore my
house number. I sat on it and leaned back against the icy embankment. I hauled
out the second pillow case and draped it across my knees.
I waited. I knew
that my mind was fuzzy. I believe that I drifted into and out of consciousness
a number of times. Whenever I caught myself at it, I attempted to impose some
version of order on my thoughts, to assess what had happened in the light of
everything else that had just happened, to seek other safety measures. The
former effort proved too much, however. It was simply too difficult to think
beyond the level of responding to circumstance. With a sort of numb enlightenment,
though, it occurred to me that I was still in possession of my Trumps. I could
contact someone in Amber, have him transport me back.
But who? I was
not so far gone that I failed to realize I might be contacting the one
responsible for my condition. Would it be better to gamble that way, or to take
my chances here? Still, Random or Gerard-I thought that I heard a car. Faint,
distant... The wind and my pulsebeat were competing wth perception, though. I
turned my head. I concentrated.
There... Again.
Yes. It was an engine. I got ready to wave the cloth.
Even then, my
mind kept straying. And one thought that flitted through was that I might
already be unable to muster sufficient concentration to manipulate the Trumps.
The sound grew
louder. I raised the cloth. Moments later, the farthest visible point along the
road to my right was touched with light. Shortly after, I saw the car at the
top of the rise. I lost sight of it once more as it descended the hill. Then it
climbed again and came on, snowflakes flashing through its headbeams.
I began waving as
it approached the dip. The lights caught me as it came up out of it, and the
driver could not have missed seeing me. He went by, though, a man in a late
model sedan, a woman in the passenger seat. The woman turned and looked at me,
but the driver did not even slow down.
A couple of
minutes later another car came by, a bit older, a woman driving, no visible
passengers. It did slow down, but only for a moment. She must not have liked my
looks. She stepped on the gas and was gone in an instant.
I sagged back and
rested. A prince of Amber can hardly invoke the brotherhood of man for purposes
of moral condemnation. At least not with a straight face, and it hurt too much
to laugh just then.
Without strength,
concentration, and some ability to move, my power over Shadow was useless. I
would use it first, I decided, to get to some warm place... I wondered whether
I could make it back up the hill, to the compost heap. I had not thought of
trying to use the jewel to alter the weather. Probably I was too weak for that
too, though. Probably the effort would kill me. Still...
I shook my head.
I was drifting off, more than half a dream. I had to stay awake. Was that
another car? Maybe. I tried to raise the cloth and dropped it. When I leaned
forward to retrieve it, I just had to rest my head on my knees for a moment.
Deirdre... I would call my dear sister. If anyone would help me, Deirdre would.
I would get out her Trump and call her. In a minute. If only she weren't my sister...
I had to rest. I am a knave, not a fool. Perhaps, sometimes, when I rest, I am
even sorry for things. Some things. If only it were warmer... But it wasn't too
bad, bent over this way... Was that a car? I wanted to raise my head but found
that I could not. It would not make that much difference in being seen, though,
I decided.
I felt light on
my eyelids and I heard the engine. Now it was neither advancing nor retreating.
Just a steady cycling of growls. Then I heard a shout. Then the click-pause-chunk
of a car door opening and closing. I felt that I could open my eyes but I did
not want to. I was afraid that I would look only on the dark and empty road,
that the sounds would resolve into pulsebeats and wind once more. It was better
to keep what I had than to gamble.
Hey! What's the
matter? You hurt?
Footsteps... This
was real.
I opened my eyes.
I forced myself up once again.
Corey! My God!
It's you!
I forced a grin,
cut my nod short of a topple.
It's me. Bill.
How've you been?
What happened?
I'm hurt, I
said. Maybe bad. Need a doctor.
Can you walk if
I help? Or should I carry you?
Let's try
walking, I said.
He got me to my
feet and I leaned on him. We started for his car. I only remember the first few
steps.
When that
low-swinging sweet chariot turned sour and swung high once more, I tried to
raise my arm, realized that it was restrained, settled for a consideration of
the tube affixed thereto, and decided that I was going to live. I had sniffed
hospital smells and consulted my internal clock. Having made it this far, I
felt that I owed it to myself to continue. And I was warm, and as comfortable
as recent history allowed. That settled, I closed my eyes, lowered my head, and
went back to sleep.
Later, when I came
around again, felt more fit and was spotted by a nurse, she told me that it was
seven hours since I had been brought in and that a doctor would be by to talk
with me shortly. She also got me a glass of water and told me that it had
stopped snowing. She was curious as to what had happened to me.
I decided that it
was time to start plotting my story. The simpler the better. All right. I was
coming home after an extended stay abroad. I had hitchhiked out, gone on in,
and been attacked by some vandal or drifter I had surprised inside. I crawled
back out and sought help. Finis.
When I told it to
the doctor I could not tell at first whether he believed me. He was a heavy man
whose face had sagged and set long ago. His name was Bailey, Morris Bailey, and
he nodded as I spoke and then asked me, Did you get a look at the fellow?
I shook my head.
It was dark, I
said.
Did he rob you
too?
I don't know.
Were you
carrying a wallet?
I decided I had
better say yes to that one.
Well, you didn't
have it when you came in here, so he must have taken it.
Must have, I
agreed.
Do you remember
me at all?
Can't say that I
do. Should I?
You seemed
vaguely familiar to me when they brought you in. That was all, at first...
And... ? I
asked.
What sort of
garments were you wearing? They seemed something like a uniform.
Latest thing.
Over There, these days. You were saying that I looked familiar?
Yes, he agreed.
Where is Over There, anyway? Where did you come from? Where have you been?
I travel a lot,
I said. You were going to tell me something a moment ago.
Yes, he said.
We are a small clinic, and some time ago a fast-talking salesman persuaded the
directors to invest in a computerized medical-records system. If the area had
developed more and we had expanded a lot, it might have been worthwhile.
Neither of these things happened, though, and it is an expensive item. It even
encouraged a certain laziness among the clerical help. Old files just don't get
purged the way they used to, even for the emergency room. Space there for a lot
of useless backlog. So, when Mr. Roth gave me your name and I ran a routine
check on you, I found something and I realized why you looked familiar. I had
been working the emergency room that night too, around seven years ago, when
you had your auto accident. I remembered working on you then-and how I thought
you weren't going to make it. You surprised me, though, and you still do. I
can't even find the scars that should be there. You did a nice job of healing
up.
Thanks. A tribute
to the physician. I'd say.
May I have your
age, for the record?
Thirty-six, I
said. That's always safe.
He jotted it
somewhere in the folder he held across his knees.
You know, I
would have sworn-once I got to checking you over and remembering-that that's
about what you looked the last time I saw you.
Clean living.
Do you know
about your blood type?
It's an exotic.
But you can treat it as an AB positive for all practical purposes. I can take
anything, but don't give mine to anybody else.
He nodded.
The nature of
your mishap is going to require a police report, you know.
I had guessed
that.
Just thought you
might want to be thinking about it.
Thanks, I said.
So you were on
duty that night, and you patched me up? Interesting. What else do you recall
about it?
What do you
mean?
The
circumstances under which I was brought in that time. My own memory is a blank
from right before the accident until some time after I had been transferred up
to the other place-Greenwood. Do you recall how I arrived?
He frowned, just
when I had decided he had one face for all occasions.
We sent an
ambulance, he said.
In response to
what? Who reported the accident? How?
I see what you
mean, he said. It was the State Patrol that called for the ambulance. As I
recollect, someone had seen the accident and phoned their headquarters. They
then radioed a car in the vicinity. It went to the lake, verified the report,
gave you first aid, and called for the ambulance. And that was it.
Any record of
who called in the report in the first place?
He shrugged.
That's not the
sort of thing we keep track of, he said. Didn't your insurance company
investigate? Wasn't there a claim? They could probably
I had to leave
the country right after I recovered, I said. I never pursued the matter. I
suppose there would have been a police report, though.
Surely. But I
have no idea how long they keep them around. He chuckled. Unless, of course,
that same salesman got to them, too... It is rather late to be talking about
that though, isn't it? It seems to me there is a statute of limitations on
things of that sort. Your friend Roth will tell you for sure
It isn't a claim
that I have in mind, I said. Just a desire to know what really happened. I
have wondered about it on and off for a number of years now. You see, I have
this touch of retrograde amnesia going.
Have you ever
talked it over with a psychiatrist? he said, and there was something about the
way he said it that I did not like. Came one of those little flashes of insight
then: Could Flora have managed to get me certified insane before my transfer to
Greenwood? Was that on my record here? And was I still on escape status from
that place? A lot of time had passed and I knew nothing of the legalities involved.
If this was indeed the case, however, I imagined they would have no way of
knowing whether I had been certified sane again in some other jurisdiction.
Prudence, I guess it was, cautioned me to lean forward and glance at the
doctor's wrist. I seemed possessed of a subliminal memory that he had consulted
a calendar watch when taking my pulse. Yes, he had, I squinted. All right. Day
and month: November 28. I did a quick calculation with my two-and-a-half-to-one
conversion and had the year. It was seven, as he had indicated.
No, I haven't,
I said. I just assumed it was organic rather than functional and wrote the
time off as a loss.
I see, he said.
You use such phrases rather glibly. People who've been in therapy sometimes do
that.
I know, I said.
I've read a lot about it.
He sighed. He
stood.
Look, he said.
I am going to call Mr. Roth and let him know you are awake. It is probably
best.
What do you mean
by that?
I mean that with
your friend being an attorney, there might be things you want to discuss with
him before you talk to the police.
He opened the
folder wherein he had somewhere jotted my age, raised his pen, furrowed his
brow, and said, What's the date, anyway?
I wanted my
Trumps. I imagined my belongings would be in the drawer of the bedside table,
but getting at it involved too much twisting and I did not want to put the
strain on my sutures. It was not all that urgent, though. Eight hours' sleep in
Amber would come to around twenty hours here, so everyone should still have
been respectably retired back home. I wanted to get hold of Random, though, to
come up with some sort of cover story for my not being there in the morning.
Later.
I did not want to
look suspicious at a time like this. Also, I wanted to know immediately
whatever Brand had to say. I wanted to be in a position to act on it. I did a
quick bit of mental juggling. If I could do the worst of my recovering here in
Shadow, it would mean less wasted time for me back in Amber. I would have to
budget my time carefully and avoid complications on this end. I hoped that Bill
would arrive soon. I was anxious to know what the picture was in this place.
Bill was a native
of the area, had gone to school in Buffalo, come back, married, joined the
family firm, and that was that. He had known me as a retired Army officer who
sometimes traveled on vague business. We both belonged to the country club,
which was where I had met him. I had known him for over a year without our
exchanging more than a few words. Then one evening I happened to be next to him
in the bar and it had somehow come out that he was hot on military history,
particularly the Napoleonic Wars. The next thing we knew, they were closing up
the place around us. We were close friends from then on, right up until the
time of my difficulties. I had occasionally wondered about him since. In fact,
the only thing that had prevented me from seeing him the last time I had passed
through was that he would doubtless have had all sorts of questions as to what
had become of me, and I had had too many things on my mind to deal with them
all that gracefully and still enjoy myself. I had even thought once or twice of
coming back and seeing him if I could, when everything was finally settled in
Amber. Next to the fact that this was not the case, I regretted not being able
to meet him in the club lounge.
He arrived within
the hour, short, heavy, ruddy, a bit grayer on the sides, grinning, nodding. I
had propped myself up by then, already tried a few deep breaths and decided
they were premature. He clasped my hand and took the bedside chair. He had his
briefcase with him.
You scared the
hell out of me last night, Carl. Thought I was seeing a ghost, he said.
I nodded.
A bit later, and
I might have been one, I said. Thanks. How have you been?
Bill sighed.
Busy. You know.
The same old stuff, only more of it.
And Alice?
She's fine. And
we've got two new grandsons-Bill Jr. 's-twins. Wait a minute. He fished out
his wallet and located a photo. Here.
I studied it,
noted the family resemblances.
Hard to
believe, I said.
You don't look
much worse for the years. I chuckled and patted my abdomen.
Subtracting
that, I mean, he said. Where have you been?
God! Where haven't
I been! I said. So many places I've lost count.
He remained
expressionless, caught my eyes and stared.
Carl, what kind
of trouble are you in? be asked.
I smiled.
If you mean am I
in trouble with the law, the answer is no. My troubles actually involve another
country, and I am going to have to go back there shortly.
His face relaxed
again, and there was a small glint behind his bifocals.
Are you some
sort of military adviser in that place?
I nodded.
Can you tell me
where?
I shook my head.
Sorry.
That I can sort
of understand, he said. Dr. Roth told me what you said had happened last
night. Off the record now, was it connected with whatever you have been doing?
I nodded again.
That makes
things a little clearer, he said. Not much, but enough. I won't even ask you
which agency, or even if there is one. I have always known you to be a
gentleman, and a rational one at that. That was why I grew curious at the time
of your disappearance and did some investigating. I felt a bit officious and self-conscious
about it. But your civil status was quite puzzling, and I wanted to know what
had happened. Mainly, because I was concerned about you. I hope that doesn't
disturb you.
Disturb me? I
said. There aren't that many people who care what happens to me. I'm grateful.
Also, curious what you discovered. I never had the time to look into it, you
know, to straighten things out. How about telling me what you learned?
He opened the
briefcase and withdrew a manila folder. Spreading it across his knees, he
shuffled out several sheets of yellow paper covered with neat handwriting.
Raising the first of these, he regarded it a moment, then said, After you
escaped from the hospital in Albany and had your accident, Brandon apparently
dropped out of the picture and
Stop! I said,
raising my hand, trying to sit up.
What? he asked.
You have the
order wrong, also the place, I said. First came the accident, and Greenwood
is not in Albany.
I know, he
said. I was referring to the Porter Sanitarium, where you spent two days and
then escaped. You had your accident that same day, and you were brought here as
a result of it. Then your sister Evelyn entered the picture. She had you transferred
to Greenwood, where you spent a couple of weeks before departing on your own
motion once again. Right?
Partly, I said.
Namely, the last part. As I was telling the doctor earlier, my memory is shot
for a couple of days prior to the accident. This business about a place in
Albany does sort of seem to ring a bell, but only very faintly. Do you have
more on it?
Oh yes, he
said. It may even have something to do with the state of your memory. You were
committed on a bum order
By whom? He
shook the paper and peered.
'Brother,
Brandon Corey; attendant physician, Hillary B. Rand, psychiatrist, he read.
Hear any more bells?
Quite possibly,
I said. Go ahead.
Well, an order
got signed on that basis, he said. You were duly certified, taken into
custody, and transported. Then, concerning your memory...
Yes?
I don't know
that much about the practice and its effects on the memory, but you were
subjected to electroshock therapy while you were at Porter. Then, as I said,
the recard indicates that you escaped after the second day. You apparently
recovered your car from some unspecified locale and were heading back this way
when you had the accident.
That seems
right, I said. It does. For a moment, when he had begun talking, I had had a
wild vision of having been returned to the wrong shadow-one where everything
was similar, but not congruent. Now, though, I did not believe this to be the
case. I was responding to this story on some level.
Now, about that
order, he said. It was based on false evidence, but there was no way of the
court's knowing it at the time. The real Dr. Rand was in England when
everything happened, and when I contacted him later he had never heard of you.
His office had been broken into while he was away, though. Also, peculiarly,
his middle initial is not B. He had never heard of Brandon Corey either.
What did become
of Brandon?
He simply
vanished. Several attempts were made to contact him at the time of your escape
from Porter, but he could not be found. Then you had the accident, were brought
here and treated. At that time, a woman named Evelyn Flaumel, who represented
herself as your sister, contacted this place, told them you had been probated
and that the family wanted you transferred to Greenwood. In the absence of
Brandon, who had been appointed your guardian, her instructions were followed,
as the only available next of kin. That was how it came about that you were
sent to the other place. You escaped again, a couple of weeks later, and that
is where my chronology ends.
Then what is my
legal status right now? I asked.
Oh, you've been
made whole, he said. Dr. Rand went down after I talked with him and gave the
court an affidavit reciting these facts. The order was vacated.
Then why is the
doctor here acting as if I might be a psycho case?
Oh my! That is a
thought. It hadn't occurred to me. All their records here would show is that
one time you apparently were. I had better see him on the way out. I have a
copy of the journal entry in here, too. I can show it to him.
How long was it
after I left Greenwood that things were set right with the court?
The following
month, he said. It was several weeks before I could bring myself to get
nosy.
You couldn't
know how happy I am that you did, I said. And you have given me several
pieces of information I think are going to prove extremely important.
It is nice to be
able to help a friend sometime, he said, closing the folder and replacing it
in his briefcase. One thing... When this is all over-whatever you are doing-if
you are permitted to talk about it, I would like to hear the story.
I can't
promise, I said.
I know. Just
thought I'd mention it. By the way, what do you want to do about the house?
Mine? Do I still
hold title to it?
Yes, but it will
probably be sold this year for back taxes if you don't do anything about it.
I'm surprised
that hasn't already happened.
You gave the
bank power of attorney for paying your bills.
I never thought
of that. I'd just set it up for utilities and my charge accounts. Stuff like
that.
Well, the
account is nearly empty now, he said. I was talking to McNally over there the
other day. That means the house will go next year if you don't do anything.
I've got no use
for it now, I said. They can do whatever they want with it.
Then you might
as well sell it and realize what you can.
I won't be
around that long.
I could handle
it for you. Send the money wherever you want.
All right, I
said. I'll sign anything necessary. Pay my hospital bill out of it and keep
the rest.
I couldn't do
that.
I shrugged.
Do whatever you
think best, but be sure and take a good fee.
I'll put the
balance in your account.
All right.
Thanks. By the way, before I forget, would you look in the drawer of that table
and see if there is a deck of cards there? I can't reach it yet, and I'll be
wanting them later.
Surely.
He reached over,
opened it.
A big brown
envelope, he said. Kind of bulgy. They probably put whatever was in your
pockets in it.
Open it.
Yes, here's a
pack of cards, he said, reaching inside.
Say! That's a
beautiful case! May I?
I What could I
say?
He slipped the
case.
Lovely... he
murmured. Some kind of tarots... Are they antique?
Yes.
Cold as ice... I
never saw anything like these. Say, that's you! Dressed up like some kind of
knight! What's their purpose?
A very
complicated game, I said.
How could that
be you if they are antique?
I didn't say it
was me. You did.
Yes, so I did.
Ancestor?
Sort of.
Now that's a
good-looking gal! But so is the redhead...
I think...
He squared the
deck and replaced it in the case. He passed it to me.
Nice unicorn,
too, he added. I shouldn't have looked at them, should I?
That's all
right.
He sighed and
leaned back in the chair, clasping his hands behind his head.
I couldn't help
it, he said. It is just that there is something very strange about you, Carl,
beyond any hush-hush work you may be doing-and mysteries intrigue me. I've
never been this close to a real puzzler before.
Because you just
slipped yourself a cold deck of tarots? I asked.
No, that just
adds atmosphere, he said. While what you have been doing all these years is
admittedly none of my business, there is one recent incident I am unable to
comprehend.
What is that?
After I brought
you here and took Alice home last night, I went back to your place, hoping to
get some sort of idea as to what had happened. The snow had let up by then,
though it started in again later, and your track was still clearly visible,
going around the house and down the front yard. I nodded.
But there were
no tracks going in-nothing to indicate your arrival. And for that matter, there
were no other tracks departing-nothing to show the flight of your assailant.
I chuckled.
You think the
wound was self-inflicted?
No, of course
not. There wasn't even a weapon in sight. I followed the bloodstains back to
the bedroom, to your bed. I had only my flashlight to see by, of course, but
what I saw gave me an eerie feeling. It seemed as if you had just suddenly
appeared there on the bed, bleeding, and then gotten up and made your way out.
Impossible, of
course.
I wonder about
the lack of tracks, though.
The wind must
have blown snow over them.
And not the
others? He shook his head. No, I don't think so. I just want to go on the
record as interested in the answer to that one too, if you ever do want to tell
me about things.
I will
remember, I said.
Yes, he said.
But I wonder... I've a peculiar feeling that I may never see you again. It is
as if I were one of those minor characters in a melodrama who gets shuffled
offstage without ever learning how things turn out.
I can appreciate
the feeling, I said. My own role sometimes makes me want to strangle the author.
But look at it this way: inside stories seldom live up to one's expectations.
Usually they are grubby little things, reducing down to the basest of motives
when all is known. Conjectures and illusions are often the better possessions.
He smiled.
You talk the
same as always, he said, yet I have known occasions when you have been
tempted to virtue. Several of them...
How did we get
from the footprints to me? I said. I was about to tell you that I suddenly
recalled having approached the house by exactly the same route as I left it. My
departure obviously obliterated the signs of my arrival.
Not bad, he
said. And your attacker followed the same route?
Must have.
Pretty good, he
acknowledged. You know how to raise a reasonable doubt. But I still feel that
the preponderance of evidence indicates the weird.
Weird? No.
Peculiar, perhaps. A matter of interpretation.
Or semantics.
Have you read the police report on your accident?
No. Have you?
Uh-huh. What if
it was more than peculiar? Then will you grant me my word, as I used it:
'weird'?
Very well.
...And answer
one question?
I don't know...
A simple
yes-or-no question. That's all.
Okay, it's a deal.
What did it say?
It said that
they received report of the accident and a patrol car proceeded to the scene.
There they encountered a strangely garbed man in the process of giving you
first aid. He stated that he had pulled you from the wrecked car in the lake.
This seemed believable in that he was also soaking wet. Average height, light
build, red hair. He had on a green outfit that one of the officers said looked
like something out of a Robin Hood movie. He refused to identify himself, to
accompany them or to give a statement of any sort. When they insisted that he
do so, he whistled and a white horse came trotting up. He leaped onto its back
and rode off. He was not seen again.
I laughed. It
hurt, but I couldn't help it.
I'll be damned!
I said. Things are starting to make sense.
Bill just stared
at me for a moment. Then, Really? he said.
Yes, I think so.
It may well have been worth getting stabbed and coming back for what I learned
today.
You put the two
in peculiar order, he said, massaging his chin.
Yes, I do. But I
am beginning to see some order where I had seen nothing before. This one may
have been worth the price of admission, all unintended.
All because of a
guy on a white horse?
Partly,
partly... Bill, I am going to be leaving here soon.
You are not
going anywhere for a while.
Just the
same-those papers you mentioned... I think I had better get them signed today.
All right. I'll
get them over this afternoon. But I don't want you doing anything foolish.
I grow more
cautious by the moment, I said, believe me.
I hope so, he
said, snapping his briefcase shut and rising. Well, get your rest. I'll clear
things up with the doctor and have those papers sent over today.
Thanks again. I
shook his hand.
By the way, he
said, you did agree to answer a question.
I did, didn't I?
What is it?
Are you human?
he asked, still gripping my hand, no special expression on his face.
I started in on a
grin, then threw it away.
I don't know.
II like to think so. But I don't reallyOf course I am! That's a silly... Oh
hell! You really mean it, don't you? And I said I'd be honest...
I chewed my lip
and thought for a moment. Then, I don't think so, I said.
Neither do I,
he said, and he smiled. It doesn't make any real difference to me, but I
thought it might to youto know that someone knows you are different and
doesn't care.
I'll remember
that, too, I said.
Well... see you
around.
Right.
CHAPTER 9
It was just after
the state patrolman left... Late afternoon. I was lying there feeling better,
and feeling better that I felt better. Lying there, reflecting on the hazards
involved in living in Amber. Brand and I were both laid up by means of the
family's favorite weapon. I wondered who had gotten it worse. Probably he had.
It might have reached his kidney, and he was in poor condition to begin with.
I had stumbled
across the room and back again twice before Bill's clerk came over with the
papers for me to sign. It was necessary that I know my limits. It always is.
Since I tended to heal several times faster than those about me in that shadow,
I felt that I ought to be able to stand and walk some, to perform in the same
fashion as one of these after, say, a day and a half, maybe two. I established
that I could. It did hurt, and I was dizzy the first time, less dizzy the
second. That was something, anyway. So I lay there feeling better.
I had fanned the
Trumps dozens of times, dealt private solitaires, read ambiguous fortunes among
familiar faces. And each time I had restrained myself, suppressing my desire to
contact Random, to tell him what had happened, to inquire after new
developments. Later, I kept telling myself. Each additional hour they sleep is
two and a half for you, here. Each two and a half for you, here, is the
equivalent of seven or eight for some lesser mortal, here. Abide. Think.
Regenerate.
And so it came to
pass that a little after dinnertime, just as the sky was darkening again, I was
beaten to the punch. I had already told a well-starched young member of the
State Patrol evelything that I was going to tell him. I have no idea whether he
believed me, but he was polite and he did not stay long. In fact, it was only
moments after he left that things began to happen.
Lying there,
feeling better, I was waiting for Dr. Bailey to stop by and check whether I was
still oriented. Lying there, assessing all of the things Bill had told me,
trying to fit them together with other things that I knew or had guessed at...
Contact! I had
been anticipated. Someone in Amber was an early riser. Corwin! It was Random,
agitated.
Corwin! Get up!
Open the door! Brand's come around, and he's asking for you.
Have you been
pounding on that door, trying to get me up?
That's right.
Are you alone?
Yes.
Good. I am not
inside. You have reached me in Shadow.
I do not
understand.
Neither do I. I
am hurt, but I will live. I will give you the story later. Tell me about
Brand.
He woke up just
a little while ago. Told Gerard he had to talk to you right away. Gerard rang
up a servant, sent him to your room. When he couldn't rouse you, he came to me.
I just sent him back to tell Gerard I'd be bringing you along shortly.
I see, I said,
stretching slowly and sitting up. Get in some place where you can't be seen,
and I'll come through. I will need a robe or something. I am missing some
clothes.
It could
probably be best if I went back to my rooms, then.
Okay. Go ahead.
A minute, then.
And silence.
I moved my legs
slowly. I sat on the edge of the bed. I gathered up my Trumps and replaced them
in their case. I felt it important that I mask my injury back in Amber. Even in
normal times one never advertises one's vulnerability.
I took a deep
breath and stood, holding on to the bed frame. My practice had paid off. I
breathed normally and relaxed my grip. Not bad, if I moved slowly, if I did not
exert myself beyond the barest essentials required for appearances' sake... I
might be able to carry it until my strength really returned.
Just then I heard
a footfall, and a friendly nurse was framed in the doorway, crisp, symmetrical,
differing from a snowflake mainly in that they are all of them alike.
Get back in that
bed, Mr. Corey! You are not supposed to be up!
Madam, I said,
it is quite necessary that I be up. I have to go.
You could have
rung for a pan, she said, entering the room and advancing.
I gave my head a
weary shake just as Random's presence reached me once more. I wondered how she
would report this one-and if she would mention my prismatic afterimage as I
trumped out. Another entry, I suppose, for the growing record of folklore I
tend to leave behind.
Think of it this
way, my dear, I told her. Ours has been a purely physical relationship all
along. There will be others... many others. Adieu!
I bowed and blew
her a kiss as I stepped forward into Amber, leaving her to clutch at rainbows
as I caught hold of Random's shoulder and staggered.
Corwin! What the
hell
If blood be the
price of admiralty, I've just bought me a naval commission, I said. Give me
something to wear.
He draped a long,
heavy cloak about my shoulders-and I fumbled to clasp it at my throat. All
set, I said. Take me to him.
He led me out the
door, into the hall, toward the stair. I leaned on him heavily as we went.
How bad is it?
he asked me.
Knife, I said,
and laid my hand on the spot. Someone attacked me in my room last night.
Who?
Well, it
couldn't have been you, because I had just left you, I said, and Gerard was
up in the library with Brand. Subtract the three of you from the rest and start
guessing. That is the best
Julian, he
said.
His stock is
definitely bearish, I said. Fiona was just running him down for me the other
night, and of course it is no secret that he is not my favorite.
Corwin, he's
gone. He cut out during the night. The servant who came to get me told me that
Julian had departed. What does that look like to you?
We reached the
stair. I kept one hand on Random and rested there briefly.
I don't know, I
said. It can sometimes be just as bad to extend the benefit of the doubt too
far as not to grant it at all. But it does occur to me that if he thought he
had disposed of me, he would look a lot better by staying here and acting surprised
to learn of it than by getting the hell out. That does look suspicious. I am
inclined to think he might have departed because he was afraid of what Brand
would have to say when he came around.
But you lived,
Corwin. You got away from whoever attacked you, and he could not be certain he
had done you in. If it were me, I would be worlds away by now.
There is that,
I acknowledged, and we started on down again. Yes, you might well be right.
Let us leave it academic for now. And no one is to know I have been injured.
He nodded.
As you say.
Silence beats a chamber pot in Amber.
How's that?
'Tis gilt,
m'lord, like a royal flush.
Your wit pains
both wounded and unwounded parts, Random. Spend some figuring how the assailant
entered my room.
Your panel?
It secures from
the inside. I keep it that way now. And the door's lock is a new one. Tricky.
All right, I
have it. My answer requires that it be a family member, too.
Tell me.
Someone was
willing to psyche himself up and tough it through the Pattern again for a shot
at you. He went below, walked it, projected himself into your room, and
attacked you.
That would be
perfect except for one thing. We all left at pretty much the same time. The
attack did not occur later on in the evening. It happened immediately on my
entering. I do not believe there was sufficient time for one of us to get down
to the chamber, let alone negotiate the Pattern. The attacker was already
waiting. So if it was one of us, he had gotten in by some other means.
Then he picked
your lock, tricks and all.
Possibly, I
said as we reached the landing and continued on. We will rest at the comer so
that I can go on into the library unassisted.
Sure thing.
We did that. I
composed myself, drew the cloak completely about me, squared my shoulders,
advanced, and knocked on the door.
Just a minute.
Gerard's voice. Footsteps approaching the door...
Who is it?
Corwin, I said.
Random's with me.
I heard him call
back, You want Random, too? and I heard a soft No in reply.
The door opened.
Just you.
Corwin, Gerard said.
I nodded and
turned to Random.
Later, I told
him.
He returned my
nod and headed back in the direction from which we had come. I entered the
library.
Open your cloak,
Corwin, Gerard ordered.
That is not
necessary, Brand said, and I looked over and saw that he was propped up by a
number of cushions and showing a yellow-toothed smile.
Sorry, I am not
as trusting as Brand, Gerard said, and I will not have my work wasted. Let's
have a look.
I said that it
is not necessary, Brand repeated. He is not the one who stabbed me.
Gerard turned
quickly.
How do you know
he isn't? he asked.
Because I know
who did, of course. Don't be an ass, Gerard. I wouldn't have asked for him if I
had reason to fear him.
You were
unconscious when I brought you through. You couldn't know who did it.
Are you certain
of that?
Well... Why
didn't you tell me, then?
I have my
reasons, and they are valid ones. I want to speak with Corwin alone now.
Gerard lowered
his head..
You had better
not be delirious, he said. He stepped to the door, opened it again. I'll be
within hailing distance, he added, and closed it behind him.
I moved nearer.
Brand reached up and I clasped his hand.
Good to see that
you made it back, he said.
Vice versa, I
said, and then I took Gerard's chair, trying not to collapse into it.
How do you feel
now? I asked.
Rotten, in one
sense. But better than I have in years, in another. It's all relative.
Most things
are.
Not Amber.
I sighed.
All right. I
wasn't getting technical. What the hell happened?
His gaze was most
intense. He was studying me, looking for something. What? Knowledge, I'd guess.
Or, more correctly, ignorance. Negatives being harder to gauge, his mind had to
be moving fast, must have been from the moment he had come around. Knowing him,
he was more interested in what I did not know than in what I knew. He wasn't
going to give away anything if he could help it. He wanted to know the minimum
enlightenment he need shed in order to get what he wanted. Not a watt more
would he willingly spend. For this was his way, and of course he wanted
something. Unless... More strongly in recent years than ever before I have
tried to convince myself that people do change, that the passage of time does
not serve merely to accentuate that which is already there, that qualitative
changes do sometimes occur in people because of things they have done, seen,
thought, and felt. It would provide some small solace in times such as these
when everything else seems to be going wrong, not to mention pepping up my
mundane philosophy no end. And Brand had probably been responsible for saving
my life and my memory, whatever his reasons. Very well, I resolved to give him
the doubt's benefit without exposing my back. A small concession here, my move
against the simple psychology of humors which generally governs the openings of
our games.
Things are never
what they seem, Corwin, he began. Your friend today is your enemy tomorrow
and
Cut it out! I
said. Cards-on-the-table time is here. I do appreciate what Brandon Corey did
for me, and it was my idea to try the trick we used to locate you and bring you
back.
He nodded.
I fancy there
were good reasons for a recrudescence of fraternal sentiment after all this
time.
I might suppose
you had additional reasons for helping me, also.
He smiled again,
raised his right hand and lowered it.
Then we are
either even or in each other's debt, depending upon how one looks at these
things. As it would seem we now have need of each other, it would be well to
regard ourselves in the most flattering light.
You are
stalling, Brand. You are trying to psych me. You are also spoiling my day's
effort at idealism. You got me out of bed to tell me something. Be my guest.
Same old
Corwin, he said, chuckling. Then he looked away. Or are you? I wonder... Did
it change you, do you think? Living all that while in Shadow? Not knowing who
you really were? Being a part of something else?
Maybe, I said.
I don't know. Yes, I guess I did. I know that it shortened my temper when it
comes to family politics.
Plain-speaking,
blunt, plain-dealing? You miss some of the fun that way. But then there is a
value to such novelty. Keep everyone unbalanced with it... revert when they
least expect it... Yes, it might prove valuable. Refreshing, too. All right!
Panic not. Thus end my preliminaries. All pleasantries are now exchanged. I'll
bare the basics, bridle the beast Unreason, and wrest from murky mystery the
pearl of sweetest sense. But one thing first, if you would. Have you anything
smokable with you? It has been a number of years, and I'd like some foul weed
or other-to celebrate my homecoming.
I started to say
no. But I was sure there were some cigarettes in the desk, left there by me. I
did not really want the exercise, but, Just a minute, I said.
I tried to make
my movements look casual rather than stiff as I rose and crossed the room. I
attempted to make it seem as if I were resting my hand naturally upon the
desktop as I rummaged through it, rather than leaning as heavily as I was. I
masked my movements with my body and my cloak as much as possible.
I located the
package and returned as I had come, stopping to light a pair at the hearth.
Brand was slow in taking his from me.
Your hand is
rather shaky, he said. What is the matter?
Too much
partying last night, I said, returning to my chair.
I hadn't thought
of that. I imagine there would have been, wouldn't there? Of course. Everyone
together in one room... Unexpected success in finding me, bringing me back... A
desperate move on the part of a very nervous, very guilty person... Half success
there. Me injured and mum, but for how long? Then
You said that
you knew who did it. Were you kidding?
No, I was not.
Who then?
In its place, dear brother. In its place. Sequence and
order, time and stress-they are most important in this matter. Allow me to savor
the drama of the event in safe retrospect. I see me punctured and all of you
gathered round. Ah! what would I not give to witness that tableau! Could you
possibly describe for me the expression on each face?
I'm afraid their
faces were my least concern at the time. He sighed and blew smoke.
Ah, that is
good, he said. Never mind, I can see their faces. I've a vivid imagination,
you know. Shock, distress, puzzlement-shading over into suspicion, fear. Then
all of you departed, I'm told, and gentle Gerard my nursemaid here. He paused,
stared into the smoke, and for a moment the note of mockery was absent.
He is the only
decent one among us, you know.
He's high on my
list, I said.
He took good
care of me. He's always looked out for the rest of us. He chuckled suddenly.
Frankly, I can't see why he bothers. As I was musing, though-prompted by your
recuperating self-you must have adjourned to talk things over. There is another
party I'm sad I missed. All those emotions and suspicions and lies bouncing off
one another-and no one wanting to be the first to say good night. It must have
gotten shrill after a time. Everyone on his own best behavior, with an eye out
to blacken the rest. Attempts to intimidate the one guilty person. Perhaps a few
stones shied at scapegoats. But, all in all, nothing much really accomplished.
Am I right?
I nodded,
appreciative of the way his mind worked, and resigned to letting him tell it
his way.
You know you're
right, I said.
He gave me a
sharp look at that, then went on. But everyone did finally go off, to lie
awake worrying, or to get together with an accomplice, to scheme. There were
hidden turmoils in the night. It is flattering to know that my well-being was
on everyone's mind. Some, of course, were for it, others against. And in the
midst of it all, I rallied-nay, flourished-not wishing to disappoint my
supporters. Gerard spent a long while bringing me up to date on recent history.
When I had enough of this, I sent for you.
In case you
haven't noticed. I'm here. What did you want to tell me?
Patience,
brother! Patience! Consider all the years you spent in Shadow, not even
remembering-this. He gestured widely with his cigarette. Consider all that
time you waited, unknowing, until I succeeded in locating you and tried to
remedy your plight. Surely a few moments now are not so priceless by contrast.
I was told that
you had sought me, I said. I wondered at that, for we had not exactly parted
on the best of terms the last time we were together.
He nodded.
I cannot deny
it, he said. But I always get over such things, eventually.
I snorted.
I have been
deciding how much to tell you, and what you would believe, he continued. I
doubted you would accept it if I had simply come out and said that, save for a
few small items, my present motives are almost entirely altruistic.
I snorted again.
But this is
true, he went on, and to lay your suspicions, I add that it is because I have
small choice in it. Beginnings are always difficult. Wherever I begin,
something preceded it. You were gone for so long. If one must name a single
thing, however, then let it be the throne. There. I have said it. We had
thought of a way to take it, you see. This was just after your disappearance,
and in some ways, I suppose, prompted by it. Dad suspected Eric of having slain
you. But there was no evidence. We worked on this feeling, though-a word here
and there, every now and then. Years passed, with you unreachable by any means,
and it seemed more and more likely that you were indeed dead. Dad looked upon
Eric with growing disfavor. Then, one night, pursuant to a discussion I had
begun on a totally neutral matter-most of us present at the table-he said that
no fratricide would ever take the throne, and he was looking at Eric as he said
it. You know how his eyes could get. Eric grew bright as a sunset and could not
swallow for a long while. But then Dad took things much further than any of us
had anticipated or desired. In fairness to you, I do not know whether he spoke
solely to vent his feelings, or whether he actually meant what he said. But he
told us that he had more than half decided upon you as his successor, so that
he took whatever misadventure had befallen you quite personally. He would not
have spoken of it, but that he was convinced as to your passing. In the months
that followed, we reared you a cenotaph to give some solid form to this
conclusion, and we made certain that no one forgot Dad's feelings toward Eric.
All along, after yourself, Eric was the one we felt had to be gotten around to
reach the throne.
We! Who were the
others?
Patience,
Corwin. Sequence and order, time and stress! Accent, emphasis... Listen.
He took another
cigarette, chain-lit it from the butt, stabbed the air with its burning tip.
The next step
required that we get Dad out of Amber. This was the most crucial and dangerous
part of it, and it was here that we disagreed. I did not like the idea of an
alliance with a power I did not fully understand, especially one that gave them
some hold on us. Using shadows is one thing; allowing them to use you is
ill-considered, whatever the circumstances. I argued against it, but the
majority had it otherwise. He smiled. Two to one. Yes, there were three of
us. We went ahead then. The trap was set and Dad went after the bait
Is he still
living? I asked.
I do not know,
Brand said. Things went wrong afterward, and then I'd troubles of my own to
concern me. After Dad's departure though, our next move was to consolidate our
position while waiting a respectable period of time for a presumption of death
to seem warranted. Ideally, all that we required was the cooperation of one
person. Either Caine or Julian-it did not matter which. You see, Bleys had
already gone off into Shadow and was in the process of putting together a large
military farce
Bleys! He was
one of you?
Indeed. We
intended him for the throne-with sufficient strings on him, of course, so that
it would have amounted to a de facto triumvirate. So, he went off to assemble
troops, as I was saying. We hoped for a bloodless takeover, but we had to be
ready in the event that words proved insufficient to win our case. If Julian
gave us the land route in, or Caine the waves, we could have transported the
troops with dispatch and held the day by force of arms, should that have proven
necessary. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong man. In my estimate. Caine was
Julian's superior in matters of corruption. So, with measured delicacy I
sounded him on the matter. He seemed willing to go along with things, at first.
But he either reconsidered subsequently or deceived me quite skillfully from
the beginning. Naturally, I prefer to believe that it was the former. Whatever,
at some point he came to the conclusion that he stood to benefit more by
supporting a rival claimant. To wit, Eric. Now Eric's hopes had been somewhat
dashed by Dad's attitude toward him-but Dad was gone, and our intended move
gave Eric the chance to act as defender of the throne. Unfortunately for us,
such a position would also put him but a step away from the throne itself. To
make matters darker, Julian went along with Caine in pledging the loyalty of
his troops to Eric, as defender. Thus was the other trio formed. So Eric took a
public oath to defend the throne, and the lines were thereby drawn. I was
naturally in a somewhat embarrassing position at this time. I bore the brunt of
their animosity, as they did not know who my fellows were. Yet they could not
imprison or torture me, for I would immediately be trumped out of their hands.
And if they were to kill me, they realized there might well be a reprisal by parties
unknown. So it had to stand as a stalemate for a time. They also saw that I
could no longer move directly against them. They kept me under heavy
surveillance. So a more devious route was charted. Again I disagreed and again
I lost, two to one. We were to employ the same forces we had called upon to
deal with Dad, this time for purposes of discrediting Eric. If the job of
defending Amber, so confidently assumed, were to prove too much for him and
Bleys then came onto the scene and handled the situation with dispatch, why
Bleys would even have popular support as he moved on to assume the role of
defender himself and-after a fit period of time-suffered the thrusting of
sovereignty upon him, for the good of Amber.
Question, I
interrupted. What about Benedict? I know he was off being discontent in his
Avalon, but if something really threatened Amber...
Yes, he said,
nodding, and for that reason, a part of our deal was to involve Benedict with
a number of problems of his own.
I thought of the
harassment of Benedict's Avalon by the hellmaids. I thought of the stump of his
right arm. I opened my mouth to speak again, but Brand raised his hand.
Let me finish in
my own fashion, Corwin. I am not unmindful of your thought processes as you
speak. I feel the pain in your side, twin to my own. Yes, I know these things
and many more.
His eyes burned
strangely as he took another cigarette into his hand and it lit of its own
accord. He drew heavily upon it and spoke as he exhaled.
I broke with the
others over this decision. I saw it as involving too great a peril, as placing
Amber herself in jeopardy. Broke with them...
He watched the
smoke for several moments before he continued.
But things were
too far advanced that I might simply walk away. I had to oppose them, in order
to defend myself as well as Amber. It was too late to swing over to Eric's
side. He would not have protected me if he could have-and besides, I was
certain he was going to lose. It was then that I decided to employ certain new
abilities I had acquired. I had often wondered at the strange relationship
between Eric and Flora, off on that shadow Earth she pretended so to enjoy. I
had had a slight suspicion that there was something about that place which
concerned him, and that she might be his agent there. While I could not get
close enough to him to achieve any satisfaction on this count, I felt confident
that it would not take too much in the way of investigation, direct and
otherwise, to learn what Flora was about. And so I did. Then suddenly the pace
accelerated. My own party was concerned as to my whereabouts. Then when I
picked you up and shocked back a few memories, Eric learned from Flora that
something was suddenly quite amiss. Consequently, both sides were soon looking
for me. I had decided that your return would throw everyone's plans out the
window and get me out of the pocket I was in long enough to come up with an
alternative to the way things were going. Eric's claim would be clouded once
again, you would have had supporters of your own, my party would have lost the
purpose for its entire maneuver and I had assumed you would not be ungrateful
to me for my part in things. Them you went and escaped from Porter, and things
really got complicated. All of us were looking for you, as I later learned, for
different reasons. But my former associates had something very extra going for
them. They learned what was happening, located you, and got there first.
Obviously, there was a very simple way to preserve the status quo, where they
would continue to hold the edge. Bleys fired the shots that put you and your
car into the lake. I arrived just as this was occurring. He departed almost
immediately, for it looked as if he had done a thorough job. I dragged you out,
though, and there was enough left to start treating. It was frustrating now
that I think back on it, not knowing whether the treatment had really been
effective, whether you would awaken as Corwin or Corey. It was frustrating
afterward, also, still not knowing... I hellrode out when help arrived. My
associates caught up with me somewhat later and put me where you found me. Do
you know the rest of the story?
Not all of it.
Then stop me
whenever we've caught up on this. I only obtained it later, myself. Eric's
crowd learned of the accident, got your location, and had you transferred to a
private place. Where you could be better protected, and kept you heavily
sedated, so that they could be protected.
Why should Eric
protect me, especially if my presence was going to wreck his plans?
By then, seven
of us knew you were still living. That was too many. It was simply too late to
do what he would have liked to do. He was still trying to live down Dad's
words. If anything had happened to you once you were in his power, it would
have blocked his movement to the throne. If Benedict ever got word of it, or
Gerard... No, he'd not have made it. Afterward, yes. Befare, no. What happened
was that general knowledge of the fact of your existence forced his hand. He
scheduled his coronation and resolved to keep you out of the way until it had
occurred. An extremely premature bit of business, not that I see he had much of
a choice. I guess you know what happened after that, since it happened to you.
I fell in with
Bleys, just as he was making his move. Not too fortunate. He shrugged.
Oh, it might
have been-if you had won, and if you had been able to do something about Bleys.
You hadn't a chance, though, not really. My grasp of their motivations begins
to dissolve at this point, but I believe that that entire assault really
constituted some sort of feint.
Why?
As I said, I do
not know. But they already had Eric Just about where they wanted him. It should
not have been necessary to call that attack.
I shook my head.
Too much, too fast... Many of the facts sounded true, once I subtracted the
narrator's bias. But still...
I don't know...
I began.
Of course, he
said. But if you ask me I will tell you.
Who was the
third member of your group?
The same person
who stabbed me, of course. Would you care to venture a guess?
Just tell me.
Fiona. The whole
thing was her idea.
Why didn't you
tell me that right away?
Because you
would not have sat still long enough to hear the rest of what I had to say. You
would have dashed off to put her under restraint, discovered that she was gone,
roused all the others, started an investigation, and wasted a lot of valuable
time. You still may, but it at least provided me with your attention for a
sufficient time for me to convince you that I know what I am about. Now, when I
tell you that time is essential and that you must hear the rest of what I have
to say as soon as possible-if Amber is to have any chance at all-you might
listen rather than chase a crazy lady.
I had already
half risen from my chair.
I shouldn't go
after her? I said.
The hell with
her, for now. You've got bigger problems. You had better sit down again.
So I did.
CHAPTER 10
A raft of
moonbeams... the ghostly torchlight, like fires in black-and-white films...
stars... a few fine filaments of mist...
I leaned upon the
rail, I looked across the world... Utter silence held the night, the
dream-drenched city, the entire universe from here. Distant things-the sea,
Amber, Arden, Gamath, the Lighthouse of Cabra, the Grove of the Unicorn, my
tomb atop Kolvir... Silent, far below, yet clear, distinct... A god's eye view.
I'd say, or that of a soul cut loose and drifting high... In the middle of the
night...
I had come to the
place where the ghosts play at being ghosts, where the omens, portents, signs,
and animate desires thread the nightly avenues and palace high halls of Amber
in the sky, Tir-na Nog'th...
Turning, my back
to the rail and dayworld's vestiges below, I regarded the avenues and dark
terraces, the halls of the lords, the quarters of the low... The moonlight is
intense in Tir-na Nog'th, silvers over the facing sides of all our imaged
places... Stick in hand, I passed forward, and the strangelings moved about me,
appeared at windows, on balconies, on benches, at gates... Unseen I passed, for
truly put, in this place I was the ghost to whatever their substance...
Silence and
silver... Only the tapping of my stick, and that mostly muted... More mists
adrift toward the heart of things... The palace a white bonfire of it... Dew,
like drops of mercury on the finely sanded petals and stems in the gardens by
the walks... The passing moon as painful to the eye as the sun at midday, the stars
outshone, dimmed by it... Silver and silence... The shine...
I had not planned
on coming, for its omens-if that they truly be-are deceitful, its similarities
to the lives and places below unsettling, its spectacle often disconcerting.
Still, I had come... A part of my bargain with time...
After I had left
Brand to continue his recovery in the keeping of Gerard, I had realized that I
required additional rest myself and sought to obtain it without betraying my
disability. Fiona was indeed flown, and neither she nor Julian could be reached
by means of the Trumps. Had I told Benedict and Gerard what Brand had told me,
I was certain that they would have insisted we begin efforts at tracking her
down, at tracking both of them. I was equally certain that such efforts would
prove useless.
I had sent for
Random and Ganelon and retired to my quarters, giving out that I intended to
pass the day in rest and quiet thought in anticipation of spending the night in
Tir-na Nog'th-reasonable behavior for any Amberite with a serious problem. I
did not put much stock in the practice, but most of the others did. As it was
the perfect time for me to be about such a thing, I felt that it would make my
day's retirement believable. Of course, this obliged me to follow through on it
that night. But this, too, was good. It gave me a day, a night, and part of the
following day in which to heal sufficiently to carry my wound that much the
better. I felt that it would be time well spent.
You've got to
tell someone, though. I told Random and I told Ganelon. Propped in my bed, I
told them of the plans of Brand, Fiona, and Bleys, and of the Eric-Julian-Caine
cabal. I told them what Brand had said concerning my return and his own
imprisonment by his fellow conspirators. They saw why the survivors of both
factions-Fiona and Julian-had run off: doubtless to marshal their forces,
hopefully to expend them on one another, but probably not. Not immediately,
anyhow. More likely, one or the other would move to take Amber first.
They will just
have to take numbers and wait their turns, like everyone else, Random had
said.
Not exactly, I
remembered saying. Fiona's allies and the things that have been coming in on
the black road are the same guys.
And the Circle
in Lorraine? Ganelon had asked.
The same. That
was how it manifested itself in that shadow. They came a great distance.
Ubiquitous
bastards, Random had said.
Nodding, I had
tried to explain.
...And so I came
to Tir-na Nog'th. When the moon rose and the apparition of Amber came faintly
into the heavens, stars showing through it, pale halo about its towers, tiny
flecks of movement upon its walls, I waited, waited with Ganelon and Random,
waited on the highest crop of Kolvir, there where the three steps are
fashioned, roughly, out of the stone...
When the
moonlight touched them, the outline of the entire stairway began to take shape,
spanning the great gulf to that point above the sea the vision city held. When
the moonlight fell full upon it, the stair had taken as much of substance as it
would ever possess, and I set my foot on the stone... Random held a full deck
of Trumps and I'd mine within my jacket. Grayswandir, forged upon this very
stone by moonlight, held power in the city in the sky, and so I bore my blade
along. I had rested all day, and I held a staff to lean upon. Illusion of
distance and time... The stairs through the Corwin-ignoring sky escalate
somehow, for it is not a simple arithmetic progression up them once motion has
commenced. I was here, I was there, I was a quarter of the way up before my
shoulder had forgotten the clasp of Ganelon's hand... If I looked too hard at
any portion of the stair, it lost its shimmering opacity and I saw the ocean
far below as through a translucent lens... I lost track of time, though it seems
it's never long, afterward... As far beneath the waves as I'd soon be above
them, off to my right, glittering and curling, the outline of Rebma appeared
within the sea. I thought of Moire, wondered how she fared. What would become
of our deepwater double should Amber ever fall? Would the image remain
unshattered in its mirror? Or would building blocks and bones be taken and
shaken alike, dice in the deepwater casino canyons our fleets fly over? No
answer in the man drowning, Corwin-confounding waters, though I felt a twinge
in my side.
At the head of
the stair, I entered, coming into the ghost city as one would enter Amber after
mounting the great forestair up Kolvir's seaward face. I leaned upon the rail,
looked across the world.
The black road
led off to the south. I could not see it by night. Not that it mattered. I knew
now where it led. Or rather where Brand said that it led. As he appeared to
have used up a life's worth of reasons for lying, I believed that I knew where
it led.
All the way.
From the
brightness of Amber and the power and clean-shining splendor of adjacent
Shadow, off through the progressively darkening slices of image that lead away
in any direction, farther, through the twisted landscapes, and farther still,
on through places seen only when drunk, delirious, or dreamingly illy, and
farther yet again, running beyond the place where I stop... Where I stop...
How to put simply
that which is not a simple thing..? Solipsism, I suppose, is where we have to
begin-the notion that nothing exists but the self, or, at least, that we cannot
truly be aware of anything but our own existence and experience. I can find,
somewhere, off in Shadow, anything I can visualize. Any of us can. This, in
good faith, does not transcend the limits of the ego. It may be argued, and in
fact has, by most of us, that we create the shadows we visit out of the stuff
of our own psyches, that we alone truly exist, that the shadows we traverse are
but projections of our own desires... Whatever the merits of this argument, and
there are several, it does go far toward explaining much of the family's
attitude toward people, places, and things outside of Amber. Namely, we are
toymakers and they, our playthings-sometimes dangerously animated, to be sure;
but this, too, is part of the game. We are impresarios by temperament, and we
treat one another accordingly. While solipsism does tend to leave one slightly
embarrassed on questions of etiology, one can easily avoid the embarrassment by
refusing to admit the validity of the questions. Most of us are, as I have
often observed, almost entirely pragmatic in the conduct of our affairs.
Almost...
Yet-yet there is
a disturbing element in the picture. There is a place where the shadows go
mad... When you purposely push yourself through layer after layer of Shadow,
surrendering-again, purposely-a piece of your understanding every step of the
way, you come at last to a mad place beyond which you cannot go. Why do this?
In hope of an insight. I'd say, or a new game... But when you come to this
place, as we all have, you realize that you have reached the limit of Shadow or
the end of yourself-synonymous terms, as we had always thought. Now, though...
Now I know that
it is not so, now as I stand, waiting, without the Courts of Chaos, telling you
what it was like, I know that it is not so. But I knew well enough then, that
night, in Tir-na Nog'th, had known earlier, when I had fought the goat-man in
the Black Circle of Lorraine, had known that day in the Lighthouse of Cabra,
after my escape from the dungeons of Amber, when I had looked upon ruined
Garnath... I knew that that was not all there was to it. I knew because I knew
that the black road ran beyond that point. It passed through madness into chaos
and kept going, lhe things that traveled across it came from somewhere, but
they were not my things. I had somehow helped to grant them this passage, but
they did not spring from my version of reality. They were their own, or someone
else's-small matter there-and they tore holes in that small metaphysic we had
woven over the ages. They had entered our preserve, they were not of it, they
threatened it, they threatened us. Fiona and Brand had reached beyond everything
and found something, where none of the rest of us had believed anything to
exist. The danger released was, on some level, almost worth the evidence
obtained: we were not alone, nor were shadows truly our toys. Whatever our
relationship with Shadow, I could nevermore regard it in the old light...
All because the
black road headed south and ran beyond the end of the world, where I stop.
Silence and
silver... Walking away from the rail, leaning on my stick, passing through the
fog-spun, mist-woven, moonlight-brushed fabric of vision within the troubling
city... Ghosts... Shadows of shadows... Images of probability... Might-bes and
might-havebeens... Probability lost... Probability regained...
Walking, across
the promenade now... Figures, faces, many of them familiar... What are they
about? Hard to say... Some lips move, some faces show animation. There are no
words there for me. I pass among them, unnoted.
There... One such
figure... Alone, but waiting... Fingers unknotting minutes, casting them
away... Face averted, and I wish to see it... A sign that I will or should...
She sits on a stone bench beneath a gnarly tree... She gazes in the direction
of the palace... Her form is quite familiar... Approaching, I see that it is
Lorraine... She continues to regard a point far beyond me, does not hear me say
that I have avenged her death.
But mine is the
power to be heard here... It hangs in the sheath at my side.
Drawing
Grayswandir, I raise my blade overhead where moonlight tricks its patterns into
a kind of motion. I place it on the ground between us.
Corwin!
Her head snaps
back, her hair rusts in the moonlight, her eyes focus.
Where did you
come from? You're early.
You wait for
me?
Of course. You
told me to
How did you come
to this place?
This bench... ?
No. This city.
Amber? I do not
understand. You brought me yourself. I
Are you happy
here?
You know that I
am, so long as I am with you.
I had not
forgotten the evenness of her teeth, the hint of freckles beneath the soft
light's veil...
What happened?
It is very important. Pretend for a moment that I do not know, and tell me
everything that happened to us after the battle of the Black Circle in
Lorraine.
She frowned. She
stood. She turned away.
We had that
argument, she said. You followed me, drove away Melkin, and we talked. I saw
that I was wrong and I went with you to Avalon. There, your brother Benedict
persuaded you to talk with Eric. You were not reconciled, but you agreed to a
truce because of something that he told you. He swore not to harm you and you
swore to defend Amber, with Benedict to witness both oaths. We remained in
Avalon while you obtained chemicals, and we went to another place later, a
place where you purchased strange weapons. We won the battle, but Eric lies wounded
now.
She stood and
faced me.
Are you thinking
of ending the truce? Is that it, Corwin?
I shook my head,
and though I knew better I reached to embrace her. I wanted to hold her,
despite the fact that one of us did not exist, could not exist, when that tiny
gap of space between our skins was crossed, to tell her that whatever bad
happened or would happen
The shock was not
severe, but it caused me to stumble. I lay across Grayswandir... My staff had
fallen to the grass several paces away. Rising to my knees, I saw that the
color had gone out of her face, her eyes, her hair. Her mouth shaped ghost
words as her head turned, searching. Sheathing Grayswandir, recovering my
staff, I rose once again. Her seeing passed through me and focused. Her face
grew smooth, she smiled, started forward. I moved aside and turned, watching
her run toward the man who approached, seeing her clasped in his arms,
glimpsing his face as he bent it toward her own, lucky ghost, silver rose at
the throat of his garment, kissing her, this man I would never know, silver on
silence, and silver...
Walking away...
Not looking back... Crossing the promenade...
The voice of
Random: Corwin, are you all right?
Yes.
Anything
interesting happening?
Later, Random.
Sorry.
And sudden, the
gleammg stair before the palace grounds... Up it, and a turn to the right...
Slow and easy now, into the garden... Ghost flowers throb on their stalks all
about me, ghost shrubs spill blossoms like frozen firework displays. Sans
colors, all... Only the essentials sketched in, degrees of luminosity in silver
the terms of their claim on the eye. Only the essentials here. Is Tir-na Nog'th
a special sphere of Shadow in the real world, swayed by the promptings of the
id-a full-sized projective test in the sky, perhaps even a therapeutic device?
Despite the silver. I'd say, if this is a piece of the soul, the night is very
dark... And silent...
Walking... By
fountains, benches, groves, cunning alcoves in mazes of hedging... Passing
along the walks, up an occasional step, across small bridges... Moving past
ponds, among trees, by an odd piece of statuary, a boulder, a sundial
(moondial, here?), bearing to my right, pressing steadily ahead, rounding,
after a time, the northern end of the palace, swinging left then, past a
courtyard overhung by balconies, more ghosts here and there upon them, behind
them, within...
Circling around
to the rear, just to see the back gardens this way, again, for they are lovely
by normal moonlight in the true Amber.
A few more
figures, talking, standing... No motion but my own is apparent.
...And feel
myself drawn to the right. As one should never turn down a free oracle, I go.
...Toward a mass
of high hedging, a small open area within, if it is not overgrown... Long ago
there was...
Two figures,
embracing, within. They part as I begin to turn away. None of my affair, but...
Deirdre... One of them is Deirdre. I know who the man will be before he turns.
It is a cruel joke by whatever powers rule that silver, that silence... Back,
back, away from that hedge... Turning, stumbling, rising again, going, away,
now, quickly...
The voice of
Random: Corwin? Are you all right?
Later! Damn it!
Later!
It is not too
long till sunrise, Corwin. I felt I had better remind you
Consider me
reminded!
Away, now,
quickly... Time, too, is a dream in Tir-na Nog'th. Small comfort, but better
than none. Quickly, now, away, going, again...
...Toward the
palace, bright architecture of the mind or spirit, more clearly standing now
than the real ever did... To judge perfection is to render a worthless verdict,
but I must see what lies within... This must be an end of sorts, for I am
driven. I had not paused to recover my staff from where it had fallen this
time, among the sparkling grasses. I know where I must go, what I must do.
Obvious now, though the logic which has seized me is not that of the waking
mind.
Hurrying,
climbing, up to the rearward portal... The side-biting soreness comes home
again... Across the threshold, in...
Into an absence
of starshine and moonlight. The illumination is without direction, seeming
almost to drift and to pool, aimlessly. Wherever it misses, the shadows are
absolute, occulting large sections of room, hallway, closet, and stair.
Among them,
through them, almost running now... Monochrome of my home... Apprehension
overtakes me... The black spots seem like holes in this piece of reality now...
I fear to pass too near. Fall in and be lost...
Turning...
Crossing... Finally... Entering... The throne room... Bushels of blackness
stacked where my eyes would drive down lines of seeing to the throne itself...
There, though, is
movement.
A drifting, to my
right, as I advance.
A lifting, with
the drifting.
The boots on feet
on legs come into view as forward pressing I near the place's base.
Grayswandir comes
into my hand, finding its way into a patch of light, renewing its eyetricking,
shapeshifting stretch, acquiring a glow of its own...
I place my left
foot on the step, rest my left hand on my knee. Distracting but bearable, the
throb of my healing gut. I wait for the blackness, the emptiness, to be drawn,
appropriate curtain for the theatrics with which I am burdened this night.
And it slides
aside, revealing a hand, an arm, a shoulder, the arm a glinting, metallic
thing, its planes like the facets of a gem, its wrist and elbow wondrous weaves
of silver cable, pinned with flecks of fire, the hand, stylized, skeletal, a
Swiss toy, a mechanical insect, functional, deadly, beautiful in its way...
And it slides
aside, revealing the rest of the man...
Benedict stands
relaxed beside the throne, his left and human hand laid lightly upon it. He
leans toward the throne. His lips are moving.
And it slides
aside, revealing the throne's occupant...
Dara!
Turned toward her
right, she smiles, she nods to Benedict, her lips move. I advance and extend
Grayswandir till its point rests lightly in the concavity beneath her
sternum...
Slowly, quite
slowly, she turns her head and meets my eyes. She takes on color and life. Her
lips move again, and this time her words reach me.
What are you?
No. That is my
question. You answer it. Now.
I am Dara. Dara
of Amber, Queen Dara. I hold this throne by right of blood and conquest. Who
are you?
Corwin. Also of
Amber. Don't move! I did not ask who you are
Corwin is dead
these many centuries. I have seen his tomb.
Empty.
Not so. His body
lies within.
Give me your
lineage!
Her eyes move to
her right, where the shade of Benedict still stands. A blade has appeared in
his new hand, seeming almost an extension of it, but he holds it loosely,
casually. His left hand now rests on her arm. His eyes seek me in back of
Grayswandir's hilt. Failing, they go again to that which is
visible-Grayswandir-recognizing its design...
I am the
great-granddaughter of Benedict and the hellmaid Lintra, whom he loved and
later slew. Benedict winces at this, but She continues. I never knew her. My
mother and my mother's mother were born in a place where time does not run as
in Amber. I am the first of my mother's line to bear all the marks of humanity.
And you, Lord Corwin, are but a ghost from a long dead past, albeit a dangerous
shade. How you came here, I do not know. But it was wrong of you. Return to
your grave. Trouble not the living.
My hand wavers.
Grayswandir strays no more than half an inch. Yet that is sufficient.
Benedict's thrust
is below my threshold of perception. His new arm drives the new hand that holds
the blade that strikes Grayswandir, as his old arm draws his old hand, which
has seized upon Dara, back across the arm of the throne... This subliminal
impression reaches me moments later, as I fall back, catting air, recover and
strike an en garde, reflexively... It is ridiculous for a pair of ghosts to
fight. Here, it is uneven. He cannot even reach me, whereas Grayswandir
But no! His blade
changes hands as he releases Dara and pivots, bringing them together, old hand
and new. His left wrist rotates as he slides it forward and down, moving into
what would be corps a corps, were we two facing mortal bodies. For a moment our
guards are locked. That moment is enough...
That gleaming,
mechanical hand comes forward, a thing of moonlight and fire, blackness and
smoothness, all angles, no curves, fingers slightly flexed, palm silverscribbled
with a half-familiar design, comes forward, comes forward and catches at my
throat...
Missing, the
fingers catch my shoulder and the thumb goes hooking-whether for clavicle or
larynx, I do not know. I throw one punch with my left, toward his midsection,
and there is nothing there...
The voice of
Random: Corwin! The sun is about to rise! You've got to come down now!
I cannot even
answer. A second or two and that hand would tear away whatever it held. That
hand... Grayswandir and that hand, which strangely resembles it, are the only
two things which seem to coexist in my world and the city of ghosts...
I see it,
Corwin! Pull away and reach for me! The Trump
I spin
Grayswandir out of the bind and bring it around and down in a long, slashing arc...
Only a ghost
could have beaten Benedict or Benedict's ghost with that maneuver. We stand too
close for him to block my blade, but his countercut, perfectly placed, would
have removed my arm, had there been an arm there to meet it...
As there is not, I
complete the stroke, delivering the blow with the full force of my right arm,
high upon that lethal device of moonlight and fire, blackness and smoothness,
near to the point where it is joined with him.
With an evil
tearing at my shoulder, the arm comes away from Benedict and grows still... We
both fall.
Get up! By the
unicorn, Corwin, get up! The sun is rising! The city will come apart about
you!
The floor beneath
me wavers to and from a misty transparency. I glimpse a light-scaled expanse of
water. I roll to my feet, barely avoiding the ghost's rush to clutch at the arm
he has lost. It clings like a dead parasite and my side is hurting again...
Suddenly I am
heavy and the vision of ocean does not fade. I begin to sink through the floor.
Color returns to the world, wavering stripes of pink. The Corwin-spurning floor
parts and the Corwin-killing gulf is opened...
I fall...
This way,
Corwin! Now!
Random stands on
a mountaintop and reaches for me. I extend my hand...
CHAPTER 11
...And frying
pans without fires are often far between...
We untangled
ourselves and rose. I sat down again immediately, on the bottommost stair. I
worked the metal hand loose from my shoulder-no blood there, but a promise of
bruises to come-then cast it and its arm to the ground. The light of early
morning did not detract from its exquisite and menacing appearance.
Ganelon and
Random stood beside me.
You all right,
Corwin?
Yes. Just let me
catch my breath.
I brought food,
Random said. We could have breakfast right here.
Good idea.
As Random began
unpacking provisions, Ganelon nudged the arm with the toe of his boot.
What the hell,
he asked, is that?
I shook my head.
I lopped it off
the ghost of Benedict, I told him. For reasons I do not understand, it was
able to reach me.
He stooped and
picked it up, studied it.
A lot lighter
than I thought it would be, he observed. He raked the air with it. You could
do quite a job on someone, with a hand like that.
I know.
He worked the
fingers.
Maybe the real
Benedict could use it.
Maybe, I said.
My feelings are quite mixed when it comes to offering it to him, but possibly
you're right...
How's the side?
I prodded it
gently.
Not especially
bad, everything considered. I'll be able to ride after breakfast, so long as we
take it nice and easy.
Good. Say,
Corwin, while Random is getting things ready, I have a question that may be out
of order, but it has been bothering me all along.
Ask it.
Well, let me put
it this way: I am all for you, or I would not be here. I will fight for you to
have your throne, no matter what. But every time talk of the succession occurs,
someone gets angry and breaks it off or the subject gets changed. Like Random did,
while you were up there. I suppose that it is not absolutely essential for me
to know the basis of your claim to the throne, or that of any of the others,
but I cannot help being curious as to the reasons for all the friction.
I sighed, then
sat silent for a time.
All right, I
said after a while, and then I chuckled. All right. If we cannot agree on
these things ourselves, I would guess that they must seem pretty confused to an
outsider. Benedict is the eldest. His mother was Cymnea. She bore Dad two other
sons, also-Osric and Finndo. Then-how does one put thesethings? Faiella bore
Eric. After that. Dad found some defect in his marriage with Cymnea and had it
dissolved-ab initio, as they would say in my old shadowfrom the beginning.
Neat trick, that. But he was the king.
Didn't that make
all of them illegitimate?
Well, it left
their status less certain. Osric and Finndo were more than a little irritated,
as I understand it, but they died shortly thereafter. Benedict was either less
irritated or more politic about the entire affair. He never raised a fuss. Dad
then married Faiella.
And that made
Eric legitimate?
It would have,
if he had acknowledged Eric as his son. He treated him as if he were, but he
never did anything formal in that regard. It involved the smoothing-over
process with Cymnea's family, which had become a bit stronger around that
time.
Still, if he
treated him as his own..
Ah! But he later
did acknowledge Llewella formally. She was born out of wedlock, but he decided
to recognize her, poor girl. All of Eric's supporters hated her for its effect
on his status. Anyway, Faiella was later to become my mother. I was born safely
in wedlock, making me the first with a clean claim on the throne. Talk to one
of the others and you may get a different line of reasoning, but those are the
facts it will have to be based on. Somehow it does not seem quite as important
as it once did, though, with Eric dead and Benedict not really interested...,
But that is where I stand.
I see-sort of,
he said. Just one more thing, then...
What?
Who is next?
That is to say, if anything were to happen to you... ?
I shook my head.
It gets even
more complicated there, now. Caine would have been next with him dead, I see it
as swinging over to Clarissa's brood-the redheads. Bleys would have followed,
then Brand.
Clarissa? What
became of your mother?
She died in
childbirth. Deirdre was the child. Dad did not remarry for many years after
mother's death. When he did, it was a redheaded wench from a far southern
shadow. I never liked her. He began feeling the same way after a time and
started fooling around again. They had one reconciliation after Llewella's
birth in Rebma, and Brand was the result. When they were finally divorced, he
recognized Llewella to spite Clarissa. At least, that is what I think
happened.
So you are not
counting the ladies in the succession?
No. They are
neither interested nor fit. If I were, though, Fiona would precede Bleys and
Llewella would follow him. After Clarissa's crowd, it would swing over to
Julian, Gerard, and Random, in that order. Excuse me-count Flora befare Julian.
The marriage data is even more involved, but no one will dispute the final
order. Let it go at that.
Gladly, he
said. So now Brand gets it if you die, right?
Well... He is a
self-confessed traitor and he rubs everybody the wrong way. I do not believe
the rest of them would have him, as he stands now. But I do not believe he has
by any means given up.
But the
alternative is Julian. I shrugged.
The fact that I
do not like Julian does not make him unfit. In fact, he might even be a very
effective monarch.
So he knifed you
for the chance to prove it, Random called out. Come on and eat.
I still don't
think so, I said, getting to my feet and heading for the food. First, I don't
see how he could have gotten to me. Second, it would have been too damned
obvious. Third, if I die in the near future Benedict will have the real say as
to the succession. Everyone knows that. He's got the seniority, he's got the
wits, and he's got the power. He could simply say, for example. The hell with
all this bickering, I am backing Gerard, and that would be it.
What if he
decided to reinterpret his own status and take it himself? Ganelon asked.
We seated ourselves
on the ground and took the tin dishes Random had filled.
He could have
had it long before this, had he wanted it, I said. There are several ways of
regarding the offspring of a void marriage, and the most favorable one would be
the most likely in his case. Osric and Finndo rushed to judgment, taking the
worst view. Benedict knew better. He just waited. So... It is possible.
Unlikely, though. I'd say.
Then-in the
normal course of affairs-if anything happened to you, it could still be very
much in the air?
Very much.
But why was
Caine killed? Random asked. Then, between mouthfuls, he answered his own
question. So that when they got you, it would swing over to Clarissa's kids
immediately. It has occurred to me that Bleys is probably still living, and he
is next in line. His body was never found. My guess is this: He trumped off to
Fiona during your attack and returned to Shadow to rebuild his forces, leaving
you to what he hoped would be your death at the hands of Eric. He is finally
ready to move again. So they killed Caine and tried for you. If they are really
allied with the black-road horde, they could have arranged for another assault
from that quarter. Then he could have done the same thing you did-arrive at the
last hour, turn back the invaders, and move on in. And there he would be, next
in line and first in force. Simple. Except that you survived and Brand has been
returned. If we are to believe Brand's accusation of Fionaand I see no reason
why we should not-then it follows from their original program.
I nodded.
Possibly, I
said. I asked Brand just those things. He admitted their possibility, but he
disavowed any knowledge as to whether Bleys was still living. Personally, I
think he was lying.
Why?
It is possible
that he wishes to combine revenge for his imprisonment and the attempt on his
life with the removal of the one impediment, save for myself, to his own
succession. I think he feels that I will be expended in a scheme he is evolving
to deal with the black road. The destruction of his own cabal and the removal
of the road could make him look pretty decent, especially after all the penance
he has had thrust upon him. Then, maybe then, he would have a chance-or thinks
that he would.
Then you think
Bleys is still living, too?
Just a feeling,
I said. But yes, I do.
What is their
strength, anyway?
An endorsement
of higher education, I said. Fiona and Brand paid attention to Dworkin while
the rest of us were off indulging our assorted passions in Shadow.
Consequently, they seem to have obtained a better grasp of principles than we
possess. They know more about Shadow and what lies beyond it, more about the
Pattern, more about the Trumps than we do. That is why Brand was able to send
you his message.
An interesting
thought... Random mused. Do you think they might have disposed of Dworkin
after they felt they had learned enough from him? It would certainly help to
keep things exclusive, if anything happened to Dad.
That thought had
not occurred to me, I said.
And I wondered,
could they have done something that had affected his mind? Something that left
him as he was when last I had seen him? If so, were they aware that he was
possibly still living, somewhere? Or might they have assumed his total
destruction?
Yes, an
interesting thought, I said. I suppose that it is possible.
The sun inched
its way upward, and the food restored me. No trace of Tir-na Nog'th remained in
the motning's light. My memories of it had already taken on the quality of
images in a dim mirror. Ganelon fetched its only other token, the arm, and
Random packed it away along with the dishes. By daylight, the first three steps
looked less like stairs and more like jumbled rock.
Random gestured
with his head. Take the same way back? he asked.
Yes, I said,
and we mounted.
We had come by
way of a trail that wound about Kolvir to the south. It was longer but less
rugged than the route across the crest. I'd a humor to pamper myself so long as
my side protested.
So we bore to the
right, moving single file. Random in the lead, Ganelon to the rear. The trail
ran gently upward, then cut back down again. The air was cool, and it bore the
aromas of verdure and moist earth, a thing quite unusual in that stark place,
at that altitude. Straying air currents, I reasoned, from the forest far below.
We let the horses
pick their own casual pace down thiough the dip and up the next rise. As we
neared its crest, Random's horse whinnied and began to rear. He controlled it
immediately, and I glanced about but saw nothing that might have startled it.
When he reached
its summit, Random slowed and called back, Take a look at that sunrise now,
will you?
It would have
been rather difficult to avoid doing so, though I did not remark on the fact.
Random was seldom given to sentimentality over vegetation, geology, or
illumination.
I almost drew
rein myself as I topped the rise, for the sun was a fantastic golden ball. It
seemed half again its normal size, and its peculiar coloration was unlike
anything I remembered having seen before. It did marvelous things to the band
of ocean that had come into view above the next rise, and the tints of cloud
and sky were indeed singular. I did not halt, though, for the sudden brightness
was almost painful.
You're right, I
called out, following him down into the next declivity. Behind me, Ganelon
snorted an appreciative oath.
When I had
blinked away the aftereffects of that display I noticed that the vegetation was
heavier than I had remembered in this little pocket in the sky. I had thought
there were several scrubby trees and some patches of lichen, but there were
actually several dozen trees, larger than I recalled, and greener, with a
clutch of grasses here and there and a vine or two softening the outlines of
the rocks. However, since my return I had only passed this way after dark. And
now that I thought of it, it was probably the source of the aromas that had
come to me earlier.
Passing through,
it seemed that the little hollow was also wider than I recalled it. By the time
we had crossed and were ascending once more, I was certain of it.
Random, I
called out, has this place changed recently?
Hard to say, he
answered. Eric didn't let me out much. It seems to have grown up a bit.
It seems
bigger-wider.
Yes, it does. I
had thought that that was just my imagination.
When we reached
the next crest I was not dazzled again because the sun was blocked by foliage.
The area ahead of us contained many more trees than the one we had just
departed-and they were larger and closer together. We drew rein.
I don't remember
this, he said. Even passing through at night, it would have registered. We
must have taken a wrong turn.
I don't see how.
Still, we know about where we are. I would rather go ahead than go back and
start again. We should keep aware of conditions around Amber, anyway.
True.
He headed down
toward the wood. We followed.
It's kind of
unusual, at this altitude-a growth like this, he called back.
There also seems
to be a lot more soil than I recall.
I believe you
are right.
The trail curved
to the left as we entered among the trees. I could see no reason for this
deviation from the direct route. We stayed with it, however, and it added to
the illusion of distance. After a few moments it swung suddenly to the right
again. The prospect on cutting back was peculiar. The trees seemed even taller
and were now so dense as to puzzle the eye that sought their penetration. When
it turned once more it broadened, and the way was straight for a great distance
ahead. Too great, in fact. Our little dell just wasn't that wide. Random halted
again.
Damn it, Corwin!
This is ridiculous! he said. You are not playing games, are you?
I couldn't if I
would, I said. I have never been able to manipulate Shadow anywhere on
Kolvir. There isn't supposed to be any to work with here.
That has always
been my understanding, too. Amber casts Shadow but is not of it. I don't like
this at all. What do you say we turn back?
I've a feeling
we might not be able to retrace our way, I said. There has to be a reason for
this, and I want to know it.
It occurs to me
that it might be some sort of a trap.
Even so, I
said.
He nodded and we
rode on, down that shaded way, under trees now grown more stately. The wood was
silent about us. The ground remained level, the trail straight. Half
consciously, we pushed the horses to a greater pace.
About five
minutes passed before we spoke again. Then Random said, Corwin, this can't be
Shadow.
Why not?
I have been
trying to influence it and nothing happens. Have you tried?
No.
Why don't you?
All right.
A rock could jut
beyond the coming tree, a morning glory twine and bell within that shrubby
stand... There ought a patch of sky come clear, a wispy cloud upon it... Then
let there be a fallen limb, a stair of fungus up its side... A scummed-over
puddle... A frog... Falling feather, drifting seed... A limb that twists just
so... Another trail upon our way, fresh-cut, deep-marked, past the place the
feather should have fallen...
No good, I
said.
If it is not
Shadow, what is it?
Something else,
of course.
He shook his head
and checked again to see that his blade was loose in its scabbard.
Automatically, I did the same. Moments later, I heard Ganelon's make a small
clicking noise behind me.
Ahead, the trail
began to narrow, and shortly thereafter it commenced to wander. We were forced
to slow our pace once again, and the trees pressed nearer with branches
sweeping lower than at any time before. The trail became a path. It jogged, it
curved, it gave a final twist and then quit.
Random ducked a
limb, then raised his hand and halted. We came up beside him. For as far as I
could see ahead there was no indication of the trail's picking up again.
Looking back, I failed to locate any sign of it either.
Suggestions, he
said, are now in order. We do not know where we have been or where we are
going, let alone where we are. My suggestion is the hell with curiosity. Let's
get out of here the fastest way we know how.
The Trumps?
Ganelon asked.
Yes. What do you
say, Corwin?
Okay. I don't
like it either, and I can't think of anything better to try. Go ahead.
Who should I try
for? he asked, producing his deck and uncasing it.
Gerard?
Yes.
He shuffled
through his cards, located Guard's, stared at it. We stared at him. Time went
its way.
I can't seem to
reach him, he finally announced.
Try Benedict.
Okay.
Repeat
performance. No contact.
Try Deirdre, I
said, drawing forth my own deck and searching out her Trump.
I'll join you.
We will see whether it makes a difference with two of us trying.
And again. And
again.
Nothing, I said
after a long effort.
Random shook his
head.
Did you notice
anything unusual about your Trumps? he asked.
Yes, but I don't
know what it is. They do seem different.
Mine seem to
have lost that quality of coldness they once possessed, he said.
I shuffled mine
slowly. I ran my fingertips across them.
Yes, you are
right, I said. That's it. But let us try again. Say, Flora.
Okay.
The results were
the same. And with Llewella. And Brand.
Any idea what
could be wrong? Random asked.
Not the
slightest. They couldn't all be blocking us. They couldn't all be dead... Oh, I
suppose they could. But it is highly unlikely. Something seems to have affected
the Trumps themselves, is what it is. And I never knew of anything that could
do that.
Well, they are
not guaranteed one hundred percent, Random said, according to the
manufacturer.
What do you know
that I don't?
He chuckled.
You never forget
the day you come of age and walk the Pattern, he said. I remember it as
though it were last year. When I had succeeded-all flushed with excitement,
with glory-Dworkin presented me with my first set of Trumps and instructed me
in their use. I distinctly recall asking him whether they worked everywhere.
And I remember his answer: 'No,' he said. 'But they should serve in any place
you will ever be. ' He never much liked me, you know.
But did you ask
him what be meant by that?
Yes, and he
said, 'I doubt that you will ever achieve a state where they will fail to serve
you. Why don't you run along now?' And I did. I was anxious to go play with the
Trumps all by myself.
'Achieve a
state?' He didn't say 'reach a place'?
No. I have a
very good memory for certain things.
Peculiar-though
not much help that I can see. Smacks of the metaphysical.
I'd wager Brand
would know.
I've a feeling
you're right, for all the good that does us.
We ought to do
something other than discuss metaphysics, Ganelon commented. If you can't
manipulate Shadow and you can't work the Trumps, it would seem that the next
thing to do is determine Where we are. And then go looking for help.
I nodded.
Since we are not
in Amber, I think it is safe to assume that we are in Shadow-a very special
place, quite near to Amber, since the changeover was not abrupt. In that we
were transported without active cooperation on our part, there had to be some
agency and presumably some intent behind the maneuver. If it is going to attack
us, now is as good a time as any. If there is something else it wants, then it
is going to have to show us, because we aren't even in a position to make a
good guess.
So you propose
we do nothing?
I propose we
wait. I don't see any value in wandering about, losing ourselves further.
I seem to
remember your once telling me that adjacent shadows tend to be somewhat
congruent, Ganelon said.
Yes, I probably
did. So what?
Then, if we are
as near to Amber as you suppose, we need but ride toward the rising sun to come
to a spot that parallels the city itself.
It is not quite
that simple. But supposing it were, what good would it do us?
Perhaps the
Trumps would function again at the point of maximum congruity.
Random looked at
Ganelon, looked at me.
That may be
worth trying, he said. What have we got to lose?
Whatever small
orientation we still possess, I said. Look, it is not a bad idea. If nothing
develops here, we will try it. However, looking back, it seems that the road
behind us closes in direct proportion to the distance we advance. We are not
simply moving in space. Under these circumstances, I am loath to wander until I
am satisfied that we have no other option. If someone desires our presence at a
particular location, it is up to him now to phrase the invitation a little more
legibly. We wait.
They both nodded.
Random began to dismount, then froze, one foot in the stirrup, one on the
ground.
After all these
years, he said, and, I never really believed it...
What is it? I
whispered.
The option, he
said, and he mounted again.
He persuaded his
horse to move very slowly forward. I followed, and a moment later I glimpsed
it, white as I had seen it in the grove, standing, half hidden, amid a clump of
ferns: the unicorn.
It turned as we
moved, and seconds later flashed ahead, to stand partly concealed once more by
the trunks of several trees.
I see it!
Ganelon whispered. To think there really is such a beast... Your family's
emblem, isn't it?
Yes.
A good sign, I'd
say.
I did not answer,
but followed, keeping it in sight. That it was meant to be followed I did not
doubt.
It had a way of
remaining partly concealed the entire while-looking out from behind something,
passing from cover to cover, moving with an incredible swiftness when it did
move, avoiding open areas, favoring glade and shade. We followed, deeper and
deeper into the wood which had given up all semblance of anything to be found
on Kolvir's slopes. It resembled Arden now, more than anything else near Amber,
as the ground was relatively level and the trees grew more and more stately.
An hour had
passed, I guessed, and another had followed it, before we came to a small,
clear stream and the unicorn turned and headed up it. As we rode along the
bank. Random comunented, This is starting to look sort of familiar.
Yes, I said,
but only sort of. I can't quite say why.
Nor I.
We entered upon a
slope shortly thereafter, and it grew steeper before very long. The going
became more difficult for the horses, but the unicorn adjusted its pace to
accommodate them. The ground became rockier, the trees smaller. The stream
curved in its splashing course. I lost track of its twists and turns, but we
were finally nearing the top of the small mount up which we had been traveling.
We achieved a
level area and continued along it toward the wood from which the stream issued.
At this point I caught an oblique view-ahead and to the right, through a place
where the land fell away-of an icy blue sea, quite far below us.
We're pretty
high up, Ganelon said. It seemed like lowland, but
The Grove of the
Unicorn! Random interrupted. That's what it looks like! See!
Nor was he
incorrect. Ahead lay an area strewn with boulders. Amid them a spring uttered
the stream we followed. This place was larger and more lush, its situation
incorrect in terms of my internal compass. Yet the similarity had to be more
than coincidental. The unicorn mounted the rock nearest the spring, looked at
us, then turned away. It might have been staring down at the ocean.
Then, as we
continued, the grove, the unicorn, the trees about us, the stream beside us
took on an unusual clarity, all, as though each were radiating some special
illumination, causing it to quiver with the intensity of its color while at the
same time wavering, slightly, just at the edges of perception. This produced in
me an incipient feeling like the beginning of the emotional accompaniment to a
hellride.
Then, then and
then, with each stride of my mount, something went out of the world about us.
An adjustment in the relationships of objects suddenly occurred, eroding, my
sense of depth, destroying perspective, rearranging the display of articles
within my field of vision, so that everything presented its entire outer
surface without simultaneously appearing to occupy an increased area: angles
predominated, and relative sizes seemed suddenly ridiculous. Random's horse
reared and neighed, massive, apocalyptic, instantly recalling Guernica to my
mind. And to my distress I saw that we ourselves had not been untouched by the
phenomenon-but that Random, struggling with his mount, and Ganelon, still
managing to control Firedrake, had, like everything else, been transfigured by
this cubist dream of space.
But Star was a
veteran of many a hellride; Firedrake, also, had been through a lot. We clung
to them and felt the movements that we could not accurately gauge. And Random
succeeded, at last, in imposing his will upon his mount, though the prospect
continued to alter as we advanced.
Light values
shifted next. The sky grew black, not as night, but like a flat, nonreflecting
surface. So did certain vacant areas between objects. The only light left in
the world seemed to originate from things themselves, and all of it was
gradually bleached. Various intensities of white emerged from the planes of
existence, and brightest of all, immense, awful, the unicorn suddenly reared,
pawing at the air, filling perhaps ninety percent of creation with what became
a slowmotion gesture I feared would aiimhilate us if we advanced another pace.
Then there was
only the light. Then absolute stillness.
Then the light
was gone and there was nothing. Not even blackness. A gap in existence, which
might have lasted an instant or an eternity...
Then the blackness
returned, and the light. Only they were reversed. Light filled the interstices,
outlining voids that must be objects. The first sound that I heard was the
rushing of water, and I knew somehow that we were halted beside the spring. The
first thing that I felt was Star's quivering. Then I smelled the sea.
Then the Pattern
came into view, or a distorted negative of it...
I leaned forward
and more light leaked around the edges of things. I leaned back; it went away.
Forward again, this time farther than before...
The light spread,
introduced various shades of gray into the scheme of things. With my knees
then, gently, I suggested that Star advance.
With each pace,
sometiling returned to the world. Surfaces, textures, colors...
Behind me, I
heard the others begin to follow. Below me, the Pattern surrendered nothing of
its mystery, but it acquired a context which, by degrees, found its place
within the larger reshaping of the world about us.
Continuing
downhill, a sense of depth reemerged. The sea, now plainly visible off to the
right, underwent a possibly purely optical separation from the sky, with which
it seemed momentarily to have been joined in some sort of Urmeer of the waters
above and the waters below. Unsettling upon reflection, but unnoted while in effect.
We were heading down a steep, rocky incline which seemed to have taken its
beginning at the rear of the grove to which the unicorn had led us. Perhaps a
hundred meters below us was a perfectly level area which appeared to be solid,
unfractured rock-roughly oval in shape, a couple of hundred meters along its
major axis. The slope down which we rode swung off to the left and returned,
describing a vast arc, a parenthesis, half cupping the smooth shelf. Beyond its
rightward jutting there was nothing-that is to say the land fell away in steep
descent toward that peculiar sea.
And, continuing,
all three dimensions seemed to reassert themselves once more. The sun was that
great orb of molten gold we had seen earlier. The sky was a deeper blue than
that of Amber, and there were no clouds in it. That sea was a matching blue,
unspecked by sail or island. I saw no birds, and I heard no sounds other than
our own. An enormous silence lay upon this place, this day. In the bowl of my
suddenly clear vision, the Pattern at last achieved its disposition upon the
surface below. I thought at first that it was inscribed in the rock, but as we
drew nearer I saw that it was contained within it-gold-pink swirls, like
veining in an exotic marble, natural-seeming despite the obvious purpose to the
design.
I drew rein and
the others came up beside me. Random to my right, Ganelon to my left.
We regarded it in
silence for a long while. A dark, rough-edged smudge had obliterated an area of
the section immediately beneath us, running from its outer rim to the center.
You know,
Random finally said, it is as if someone had shaved the top off Kolvir,
cutting at about the level of the dungeons.
Yes, I said.
Then-looking for
congruence-that would be about where our own Pattern lies.
Yes, I said
again.
And that blotted
area is to the south, from whence comes the black road.
I nodded slowly
as the understanding arrived and forged itself into a certainty.
What does it
mean? he asked. It seems to correspond to the true state of affairs, but
beyond that I do not understand its significance. Why have we been brought here
and shown this thing?
It does not
correspond to the true state of affairs, I said. It is the true state of
affairs.
Ganelon turned
toward us.
On that shadow
Earth we visited-where you had spent so many years-I heard a poem about two
roads that diverged in a wood, he said. It ends, 'I took the one less
traveled by, and that has made all the difference. ' When I heard it, I thought
of something you had once said-'All roads lead to Amber'-and I wondered then,
as I do now, at the difference the choice may make, despite the end's apparent
inevitability to those of your blood.
You know? I
said. You understand?
I think so.
He nodded, then
pointed.
That is the real
Amber down there, isn't it?
Yes, I said.
Yes, it is. "