Jonathan Swift.

Gulliver's travels into several remote nations of the world

 

 

 

 

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.

 

 

[As given in the original edition.]

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient

and intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on

the mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing

weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his

house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a

convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native

country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his

neighbours.

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his

father dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from

Oxfordshire; to confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard

at Banbury in that county, several tombs and monuments of the

Gullivers.

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following

papers in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should

think fit. I have carefully perused them three times. The style is

very plain and simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author,

after the manner of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There

is an air of truth apparent through the whole; and indeed the

author was so distinguished for his veracity, that it became a sort.

of proverb among his neighbours at Redriff, when any one

affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had

spoken it.

By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the

author's permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture

to send them into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some

time, a better entertainment to our young noblemen, than the

common scribbles of politics and party.

This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not

made bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the

winds and tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the

several voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the

management of the ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise

the account of longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to

apprehend, that Mr. Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was

resolved to fit the work as much as possible to the general

capacity of readers. However, if my own ignorance in sea affairs

shall have led me to commit some mistakes, I alone am

answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a curiosity to see

the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of the author, I

will be ready to gratify him.

As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will

receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.

                       RICHARD SYMPSON

 

A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON. WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727.

 

 

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be

called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed

on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels,

with directions to hire some young gentleman of either university

to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier

did, by my advice, in his book called "A Voyage round the world."

But I do not remember I gave you power to consent that any thing

should be omitted, and much less that any thing should be

inserted; therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce every thing

of that kind; particularly a paragraph about her majesty Queen

Anne, of most pious and glorious memory; although I did

reverence and esteem her more than any of human species. But

you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that it was not

my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of our

composition before my master HOUYHNHNM: And besides, the

fact was altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England

during some part of her majesty's reign, she did govern by a chief

minister; nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the

lord of Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you

have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise in the account

of the academy of projectors, and several passages of my.

discourse to my master HOUYHNHNM, you have either omitted

some material circumstances, or minced or changed them in such

a manner, that I do hardly know my own work. When I formerly

hinted to you something of this in a letter, you were pleased to

answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that people in

power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to

interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an

INNUENDO (as I think you call it). But, pray how could that

which I spoke so many years ago, and at about five thousand

leagues distance, in another reign, be applied to any of the

YAHOOS, who now are said to govern the herd; especially at a

time when I little thought, or feared, the unhappiness of living

under them? Have not I the most reason to complain, when I see

these very YAHOOS carried by HOUYHNHNMS in a vehicle, as

if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And indeed

to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal

motive of my retirement hither.

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and

to the trust I reposed in you.

I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of

judgment, in being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false

reasoning of you and some others, very much against my own

opinion, to suffer my travels to be published. Pray bring to your

mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on

the motive of public good, that the YAHOOS were a species of

animals utterly incapable of amendment by precept or example:

and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full stop put to all.

abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island, as I had reason

to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I cannot learn

that my book has produced one single effect according to my

intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when

party and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright;

pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense,

and Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books; the young

nobility's education entirely changed; the physicians banished; the

female YAHOOS abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good

sense; courts and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded and

swept; wit, merit, and learning rewarded; all disgracers of the

press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their own

cotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink. These, and a

thousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon by your

encouragement; as indeed they were plainly deducible from the

precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned, that seven

months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and folly to

which YAHOOS are subject, if their natures had been capable of

the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been

from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the

contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and

keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I

see myself accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of

degrading human nature (for so they have still the confidence to

style it), and of abusing the female sex. I find likewise that the

writers of those bundles are not agreed among themselves; for

some of them will not allow me to be the author of my own

travels; and others make me author of books to which I am wholly

a stranger..

I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to

confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages

and returns; neither assigning the true year, nor the true month,

nor day of the month: and I hear the original manuscript is all

destroyed since the publication of my book; neither have I any

copy left: however, I have sent you some corrections, which you

may insert, if ever there should be a second edition: and yet I

cannot stand to them; but shall leave that matter to my judicious

and candid readers to adjust it as they please.

I hear some of our sea YAHOOS find fault with my sea-language,

as not proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my

first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest

mariners, and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found

that the sea YAHOOS are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled

in their words, which the latter change every year;

insomuch, as I remember upon each return to my own country

their old dialect was so altered, that I could hardly understand the

new. And I observe, when any YAHOO comes from London out

of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us are able to

deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the other.

If the censure of the YAHOOS could any way affect me, I should

have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to

think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and

have gone so far as to drop hints, that the HOUYHNHNMS and

YAHOOS have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia..

Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of LILLIPUT,

BROBDINGRAG (for so the word should have been spelt, and

not erroneously BROBDINGNAG), and LAPUTA, I have never

yet heard of any YAHOO so presumptuous as to dispute their

being, or the facts I have related concerning them; because the

truth immediately strikes every reader with conviction. And is

there less probability in my account of the HOUYHNHNMS or

YAHOOS, when it is manifest as to the latter, there are so many

thousands even in this country, who only differ from their brother

brutes in HOUYHNHNMLAND, because they use a sort of

jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not

their approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be

of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two

degenerate HOUYHNHNMS I keep in my stable; because from

these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues

without any mixture of vice.

Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so

degenerated as to defend my veracity? YAHOO as I am, it is well

known through all HOUYHNHNMLAND, that, by the

instructions and example of my illustrious master, I was able in

the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost

difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling,

deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls of

all my species; especially the Europeans.

I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but

I forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely

confess, that since my last return, some corruptions of my.

YAHOO nature have revived in me by conversing with a few of

your species, and particularly those of my own family, by an

unavoidable necessity; else I should never have attempted so

absurd a project as that of reforming the YAHOO race in this

kingdom: But I have now done with all such visionary schemes

for ever.

                  APRIL 2, 1727.

 

 * PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT *

 

 

CHAPTER I.

 

 

[The author gives some account of himself and family. His first

inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life.

Gets safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner,

and carried up the country.]

My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of

five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at

fourteen years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself

close to my studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I

had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune,

I was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in

London, with whom I continued four years. My father now and

then sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning

navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to those

who intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some time

or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to

my father: where, by the assistance of him and my uncle John, and

some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty

pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic

two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long

voyages..

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my

good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain

Abraham Pannel, commander; with whom I continued three years

and a half, making a voyage or two into the Levant, and some

other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London; to

which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was

recommended to several patients. I took part of a small house in

the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition, I married

Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,

hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred

pounds for a portion.

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having

few friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would

not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my

brethren. Having therefore consulted with my wife, and some of

my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon

successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six

years, to the East and West Indies, by which I got some addition to

my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading the best

authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good

number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the

manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their

language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my

memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary

of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family.

I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to.

Wapping, hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would

not turn to account. After three years expectation that things

would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain

William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a

voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699,

and our voyage was at first very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader

with the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to

inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we

were driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen's

Land. By an observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30

degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by

immoderate labour and ill food; the rest were in a very weak

condition. On the 5th of November, which was the beginning of

summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen

spied a rock within half a cable's length of the ship; but the wind

was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and

immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let

down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and

the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till

we were able to work no longer, being already spent with labour

while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the

mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the boat was overset

by a sudden flurry from the north. What became of my

companions in the boat, as well as of those who escaped on the

rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they

were all lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and

was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop,.

and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to

struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by this

time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I

walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured

was about eight o'clock in the evening. I then advanced forward

near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or

inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not

observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of

the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left

the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the

grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than

ever I remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned,

about nine hours; for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I

attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie

on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on

each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and thick,

tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender

ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could

only look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light

offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the

posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt

something alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently

forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin; when,

bending my eyes downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to

be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and arrow in

his hands, and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least

forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I

was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all

ran back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told,.

were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon

the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them, who

ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his

hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but

distinct voice, HEKINAH DEGUL: the others repeated the same

words several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all

this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At

length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the

strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the

ground; for, by lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods

they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent

pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings

that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to

turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second

time, before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great

shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased I heard one of

them cry aloud TOLGO PHONAC; when in an instant I felt above

a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me

like so many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the

air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on

my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I

immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of

arrows was over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then

striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger

than the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick me

in the sides; but by good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they

could not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method to lie still,

and my design was to continue so till night, when, my left hand

being already loose, I could easily free myself: and as for the.

inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be a match for the

greatest army they could bring against me, if they were all of the

same size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of

me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no

more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers

increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right

ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at

work; when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and

strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a

half from the ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants,

with two or three ladders to mount it: from whence one of them,

who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech,

whereof I understood not one syllable. But I should have

mentioned, that before the principal person began his oration, he

cried out three times, LANGRO DEHUL SAN (these words and

the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);

whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and

cut the strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave

me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the

person and gesture of him that was to speak.

He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other

three who attended him, whereof one was a page that held up his

train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger;

the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted

every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of

threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I

answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner,

lifting up my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling.

him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger, having

not eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found

the demands of nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear

showing my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of

decency) by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to signify

that I wanted food. The HURGO (for so they call a great lord, as I

afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He descended from

the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be applied

to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants mounted

and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,

which had been provided and sent thither by the king's orders,

upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was

the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the

taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of

mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a

lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, and took three

loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket bullets.

They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks

of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appetite. I then made

another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a

small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most ingenious

people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest

hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I

drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold

half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much

more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I

drank in the same manner, and made signs for more; but they had

none to give me. When I had performed these wonders, they.

shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast, repeating several

times as they did at first, HEKINAH DEGUL. They made me a

sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first

warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud,

BORACH MEVOLAH; and when they saw the vessels in the air,

there was a universal shout of HEKINAH DEGUL. I confess I

was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and

forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the first that came

in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the

remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the

worst they could do, and the promise of honour I made them--for

so I interpreted my submissive behaviour--soon drove out these

imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the

laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much

expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not

sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals,

who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of

my hands was at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so

prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some time,

when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there

appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial

majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of my right

leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his

retinue; and producing his credentials under the signet royal,

which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes

without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate

resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found,

was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it

was agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I.

answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with

my hand that was loose, putting it to the other (but over his

excellency's head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to

my own head and body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It

appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his

head by way of disapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to

show that I must be carried as a prisoner. However, he made other

signs to let me understand that I should have meat and drink

enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more

thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt

the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all

in blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and

observing likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I

gave tokens to let them know that they might do with me what

they pleased. Upon this, the HURGO and his train withdrew, with

much civility and cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a

general shout, with frequent repetitions of the words PEPLOM

SELAN; and I felt great numbers of people on my left side

relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able to turn upon

my right, and to ease myself with making water; which I very

plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who,

conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately

opened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent,

which fell with such noise and violence from me. But before this,

they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of

ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which, in a few minutes,

removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added

to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and drink,

which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about.

eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for

the physicians, by the emperor's order, had mingled a sleepy

potion in the hogsheads of wine.

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on

the ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by

an express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the

manner I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;)

that plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine

prepared to carry me to the capital city.

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and

I am confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on

the like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely

prudent, as well as generous: for, supposing these people had

endeavoured to kill me with their spears and arrows, while I was

asleep, I should certainly have awaked with the first sense of

smart, which might so far have roused my rage and strength, as to

have enabled me to break the strings wherewith I was tied; after

which, as they were not able to make resistance, so they could

expect no mercy.

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a

great perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and

encouragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of

learning. This prince has several machines fixed on wheels, for

the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his

largest men of war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods

where the timber grows, and has them carried on these engines.

three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred carpenters

and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the

greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three

inches from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide,

moving upon twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the

arrival of this engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after

my landing. It was brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the

principal difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle.

Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were erected for this purpose,

and very strong cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened

by hooks to many bandages, which the workmen had girt round

my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hundred of the

strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by many

pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I

was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I

was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a

profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused

into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor's largest horses,

each about four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me

towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very

ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to

adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the young

natives had the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep;

they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very softly to my

face, one of them, an officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his

half-pike a good way up into my left nostril, which tickled my

nose like a straw, and made me sneeze violently; whereupon they.

stole off unperceived, and it was three weeks before I knew the

cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a long march the

remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with five hundred

guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows

and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next

morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within

two hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and

all his court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by

no means suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting

on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient

temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which,

having been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder,

was, according to the zeal of those people, looked upon as

profane, and therefore had been applied to common use, and all

the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was

determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting to the north

was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through which

I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a small window,

not above six inches from the ground: into that on the left side, the

king's smith conveyed four-score and eleven chains, like those

that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and almost as large, which

were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over

against this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at

twenty feet distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here

the emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to

have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not

see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand.

inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand; and, in

spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten

thousand at several times, who mounted my body by the help of

ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to forbid it upon

pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible for me

to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon I

rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life.

But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me rise

and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg

were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of

walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed

within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at

my full length in the temple..

 

CHAPTER II.

 

 

[The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility,

comes to see the author in his confinement. The emperor's person

and habit described. Learned men appointed to teach the author

their language. He gains favour by his mild disposition. His

pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols taken from him.]

When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must

confess I never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country

around appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields,

which were generally forty feet square, resembled so many beds

of flowers. These fields were intermingled with woods of half a

stang, (1) and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be

seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand, which looked

like the painted scene of a city in a theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of

nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had

last disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between

urgency and shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to

creep into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the

gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain would suffer,

and discharged my body of that uneasy load. But this was the only

time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I.

cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after

he has maturely and impartially considered my case, and the

distress I was in. From this time my constant practice was, as soon

as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full extent of

my chain; and due care was taken every morning before company

came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-barrows,

by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not

have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first

sight, may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it

necessary to justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the

world; which, I am told, some of my maligners have been pleased,

upon this and other occasions, to call in question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house,

having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended

from the tower, and advancing on horse-back towards me, which

had like to have cost him dear; for the beast, though very well

trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a

mountain moved before him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that

prince, who is an excellent horseman, kept his seat, till his

attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time

to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round with great

admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain. He ordered

his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me

victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles

upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and

soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and

ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good

mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was.

contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a

draught; and so I did with the rest. The empress, and young

princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at

some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident that happened

to the emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person,

which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the

breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to

strike an awe into the beholders.

His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and

arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his

body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and

his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime, being

twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned

about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the

better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my

face was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however,

I have had him since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot

be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain and

simple, and the fashion of it between the Asiatic and the

European; but he had on his head a light helmet of gold, adorned

with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in

his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose; it

was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold

enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and

articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The

ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the

spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon

the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His.

imperial majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but

neither of us could understand a syllable. There were several of

his priests and lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits),

who were commanded to address themselves to me; and I spoke

to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of,

which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian,

and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hours

the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the

impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were

very impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some

of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on

the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly

missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders

to be seized, and thought no punishment so proper as to deliver

them bound into my hands; which some of his soldiers

accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-ends of their

pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of

them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a

countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled

terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,

especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put

them out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the

strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and

away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them

one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and

people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency, which

was represented very much to my advantage at court..

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I

lay on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during

which time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for

me. Six hundred beds of the common measure were brought in

carriages, and worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their

beds, sewn together, made up the breadth and length; and these

were four double: which, however, kept me but very indifferently

from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the

same computation, they provided me with sheets, blankets, and

coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured

to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought

prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so

that the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage

and household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty

had not provided, by several proclamations and orders of state,

against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had

already beheld me should return home, and not presume to come

within fifty yards of my house, without license from the court;

whereby the secretaries of state got considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate

what course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards

assured by a particular friend, a person of great quality, who was

as much in the secret as any, that the court was under many

difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose;

that my diet would be very expensive, and might cause a famine.

Sometimes they determined to starve me; or at least to shoot me in.

the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which would soon

despatch me; but again they considered, that the stench of so large

a carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably

spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these

consultations, several officers of the army went to the door of the

great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an

account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned;

which made so favourable an impression in the breast of his

majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial

commission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine hundred

yards round the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty

sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance; together with a

proportionable quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors; for

the due payment of which, his majesty gave assignments upon his

treasury:--for this prince lives chiefly upon his own demesnes;

seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any subsidies upon

his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at their own

expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons

to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their

maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each

side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors

should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country;

that six of his majesty's greatest scholars should be employed to

instruct me in their language; and lastly, that the emperor's horses,

and those of the nobility and troops of guards, should be

frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me.

All these orders were duly put in execution; and in about three

weeks I made a great progress in learning their language; during

which time the emperor frequently honoured me with his visits,.

and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We began

already to converse together in some sort; and the first words I

learnt, were to express my desire "that he would please give me

my liberty;" which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer,

as I could comprehend it, was, "that this must be a work of time,

not to be thought on without the advice of his council, and that

first I must LUMOS KELMIN PESSO DESMAR LON

EMPOSO;" that is, swear a peace with him and his kingdom.

However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he advised

me to "acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour, the good

opinion of himself and his subjects." He desired "I would not take

it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me; for

probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must

needs be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so

prodigious a person." I said, "His majesty should be satisfied; for I

was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him."

This I delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, "that,

by the laws of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of his

officers; that he knew this could not be done without my consent

and assistance; and he had so good an opinion of my generosity

and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands; that whatever

they took from me, should be returned when I left the country, or

paid for at the rate which I would set upon them." I took up the

two officers in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and

then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and

another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be searched,

wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no consequence

to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver watch, and

in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen,.

having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact inventory

of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I would

set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This

inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for

word, as follows:

"IMPRIMIS, In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain"

(for so I interpret the words QUINBUS FLESTRIN,) "after the

strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth,

large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief room of

state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of

the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We

desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found

himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof

flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times

together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious

bundle of white thin substances, folded one over another, about

the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked

with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,

every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the

left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were

extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisados before your

majesty's court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain

combs his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions,

because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us.

In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover" (so I

translate the word RANFULO, by which they meant my

breeches,) "we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a

man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar; and.

upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out,

cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In

the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller

pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white

and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed

to be silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could

hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars

irregularly shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top

of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was

covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the

other there appeared a white round substance, about twice the

bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a

prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to

show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous

engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his

own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these,

and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we

could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits

cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the

pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,

with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to

draw out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to

be a globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on

the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly

drawn, and though we could touch them, till we found our fingers

stopped by the lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears,

which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we

conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he

worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because.

he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed

himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without

consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the

time for every action of his life. From the left fob he took out a net

almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and

shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found

therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be

real gold, must be of immense value.

"Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands,

diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his

waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on

the left side, hung a sword of the length of five men; and on the

right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of

holding three of your majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were

several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the

bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the

other cell contained a heap of certain black grains, but of no great

bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms

of our hands.

"This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of

the man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due

respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the

fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majesty's auspicious

reign.

 

               CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK.".

 

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,

although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.

He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all.

In the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops

(who then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their

bows and arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it,

for mine eyes were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then

desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some

rust by the sea water, was, in most parts, exceeding bright. I did

so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between terror and

surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection dazzled their

eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my hand. His majesty,

who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I could

expect: he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it on

the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of my

chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron

pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at

his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and

charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my

pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience

against which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I

first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in

the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight

of my scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck

dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could

not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both my pistols

in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouch

of powder and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept

from fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up.

his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch,

which the emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two

of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it on a pole upon their

shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was

amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of the

minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is

much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned

men about it, which were various and remote, as the reader may

well imagine without my repeating; although indeed I could not

very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my silver and

copper money, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and some

smaller ones; my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box,

my handkerchief and journal-book. My scimitar, pistols, and

pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his majesty's stores; but the

rest of my goods were returned me.

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped

their search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I

sometimes use for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket

perspective, and some other little conveniences; which, being of

no consequence to the emperor, I did not think myself bound in

honour to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or

spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession..

 

CHAPTER III.

 

 

[The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in

a very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput

described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain

conditions.]

My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the

emperor and his court, and indeed upon the army and people in

general, that I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a

short time. I took all possible methods to cultivate this favourable

disposition. The natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive

of any danger from me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five

or six of them dance on my hand; and at last the boys and girls

would venture to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had

now made a good progress in understanding and speaking the

language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with

several of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I

have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted

with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a

slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches

from the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the

reader's patience, to enlarge a little..

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are

candidates for great employments, and high favour at court. They

are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of noble

birth, or liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by

death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those

candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the

court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest,

without falling, succeeds in the office. Very often the chief

ministers themselves are commanded to show their skill, and to

convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.

Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight

rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole

empire. I have seen him do the summerset several times together,

upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a

common pack-thread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal

secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,

the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are

much upon a par.

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof

great numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three

candidates break a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the

ministers themselves are commanded to show their dexterity; for,

by contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so

far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall,

and some of them two or three. I was assured that, a year or two

before my arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck,

if one of the king's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground,

had not weakened the force of his fall..

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before

the emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular

occasions. The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads

of six inches long; one is blue, the other red, and the third green.

These threads are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the

emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his

favour. The ceremony is performed in his majesty's great chamber

of state, where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity

very different from the former, and such as I have not observed

the least resemblance of in any other country of the new or old

world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel

to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,

sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it,

backward and forward, several times, according as the stick is

advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of

the stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister

has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with most

agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is

rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is given to the next,

and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round

about the middle; and you see few great persons about this court

who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been

daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my

very feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my

hand, as I held it on the ground; and one of the emperor's

huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which.

was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the

emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner. I desired he

would order several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of

an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his majesty

commanded the master of his woods to give directions

accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as

many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of

these sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a

quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I took four other

sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from

the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that

stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top

of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches

higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When

I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his

best horses twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this

plain. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up,

one by one, in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the

proper officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into order

they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes,

discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and pursued,

attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best military

discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and their

horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much

delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several

days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of

command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress

herself to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the

stage, when she was able to take a full view of the whole.

performance. It was my good fortune, that no ill accident

happened in these entertainments; only once a fiery horse, that

belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a

hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he overthrew his

rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and

covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the

other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell

was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I

repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not

trust to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was

entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an

express to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding

near the place where I was first taken up, had seen a great black

substance lying on the around, very oddly shaped, extending its

edges round, as wide as his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in

the middle as high as a man; that it was no living creature, as they

at first apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion; and

some of them had walked round it several times; that, by

mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to the top,

which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that it

was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be

something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty

pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I

presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive

this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after

our shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the

place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a.

string to my head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the

time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; the string, as I

conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I never observed,

but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated his imperial

majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon as

possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it: and the

next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good

condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch

and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these

hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was

dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in

that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less

damage than I expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that

part of his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be

in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular

manner. He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as

far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his

general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of

mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under

me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with

drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body

consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His

majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his

march should observe the strictest decency with regard to my

person; which however could not prevent some of the younger

officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and,.

to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a

condition, that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and

admiration.

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his

majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and

then in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except

Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to

be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole

board, and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was

GALBET, or admiral of the realm, very much in his master's

confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a morose

and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to

comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which

I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn

up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh

Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and

several persons of distinction. After they were read, I was

demanded to swear to the performance of them; first in the

manner of my own country, and afterwards in the method

prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my

left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the

crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But

because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style

and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to

know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a

translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I

was able, which I here offer to the public..

"Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue,

most mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the

universe, whose dominions extend five thousand BLUSTRUGS

(about twelve miles in circumference) to the extremities of the

globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of men;

whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes

against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their

knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful

as autumn, dreadful as winter: his most sublime majesty proposes

to the man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the

following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to

perform:--"

1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions,

without our license under our great seal.

"2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without

our express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two

hours warning to keep within doors.

"3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our

principal high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a

meadow or field of corn.

"4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not

to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their

horses, or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands

without their own consent..

"5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain

shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger

and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the

said messenger back (if so required) safe to our imperial presence.

"6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of

Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now

preparing to invade us.

"7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be

aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain

great stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and

other our royal buildings.

"8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time,

deliver in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions,

by a computation of his own paces round the coast.

"Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above

articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of

meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects,

with free access to our royal person, and other marks of our

favour. Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the

ninety-first moon of our reign."

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness

and content, although some of them were not so honourable as I

could have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of

Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral: whereupon my chains were.

immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor

himself, in person, did me the honour to be by at the whole

ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myself at

his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after many

gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall

not repeat, he added, "that he hoped I should prove a useful

servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred

upon me, or might do for the future."

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the

recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a

quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724

Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a friend at court how they

came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his

majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by

the help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the

proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of

their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 of theirs, and

consequently would require as much food as was necessary to

support that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may

conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the

prudent and exact economy of so great a prince..

 

CHAPTER IV.

 

 

[Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the

emperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a

principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The

author's offers to serve the emperor in his wars.]

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that

I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the

emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt

either to the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by

proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which

encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven

inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely

round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I

stepped over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and

sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my short

waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses

with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost

circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might

remain in the streets, although the orders were very strict, that all

people should keep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret

windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators, that

I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous place.

The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being five.

hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and

divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and

alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are

from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding

five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five

stories: the shops and markets well provided.

The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two

great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and

twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's

permission to step over this wall; and, the space being so wide

between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side.

The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other

courts: in the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very

desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great

gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches

high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court

were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride

over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls

were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the

same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the

magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three

days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of

the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant

from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three

feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The people

having received notice a second time, I went again through the

city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to

the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the.

other in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down

on the space between the first and second court, which was eight

feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently from

one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me with a hooked

stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying

down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the

middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered

the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw

the empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with

their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was

pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the

window her hand to kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of

this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now

almost ready for the press; containing a general description of this

empire, from its first erection, through along series of princes;

with a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning,

and religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and

customs, with other matters very curious and useful; my chief

design at present being only to relate such events and transactions

as happened to the public or to myself during a residence of about

nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,

Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private

affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He

ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give

him an hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account.

of his quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good

offices he had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered

to lie down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but

he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our

conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty; said "he

might pretend to some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it

had not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I

might not have obtained it so soon. For," said he, "as flourishing a

condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour

under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger

of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the

first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past

there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the

names of TRAMECKSAN and SLAMECKSAN, from the high

and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish

themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most

agreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this be, his

majesty has determined to make use only of low heels in the

administration of the government, and all offices in the gift of the

crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that his

majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a DRURR than any

of his court (DRURR is a measure about the fourteenth part of an

inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that

they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We

compute the TRAMECKSAN, or high heels, to exceed us in

number; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his

imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency

towards the high heels; at least we can plainly discover that one of

his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his.

gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are

threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is

the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and

powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard you

affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world

inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our

philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that

you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is

certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time

destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's dominions:

besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of

any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and

Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell

you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty

moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on

all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat

them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's

grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking

it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his

fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict,

commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the

smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law,

that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on

that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his

crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the

monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles

always fled for refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven

thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than

submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large.

volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the

books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole

party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During

the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did

frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of

making a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental

doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of

the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought

to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all

true believers break their eggs at the convenient end.'

And which is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to

be left to every man's conscience, or at least in the power of the

chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have

found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so

much private assistance and encouragement from their party here

at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two

empires for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during

which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much a greater

number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of our

best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy

is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have

now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a

descent upon us; and his imperial majesty, placing great

confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay

this account of his affairs before you.".

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor;

and to let him know, "that I thought it would not become me, who

was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the

hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all

invaders.".

 

CHAPTER V.

 

 

[The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion.

A high title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive

from the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress's

apartment on fire by an accident; the author instrumental in saving

the rest of the palace.]

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of

Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight

hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of

an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the

coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships,

who had received no intelligence of me; all intercourse between

the two empires having been strictly forbidden during the war,

upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor upon all

vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a project I had

formed of seizing the enemy's whole fleet; which, as our scouts

assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first

fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the

depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me,

that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy GLUMGLUFFS

deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of

it fifty GLUMGLUFFS at most. I walked towards the north-east

coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock,.

I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's

fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great

number of transports: I then came back to my house, and gave

orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the

strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick as

packthread and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle.

I trebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I

twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into

a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went

back to the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and

stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an

hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could, and

swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I arrived

at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so frightened

when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and swam

to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand

souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at

the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I

was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand

arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside

the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My

greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have

infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I

kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a

private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the

emperor's searchers. These I took out and fastened as strongly as I

could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with my

work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck

against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect,.

further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the

hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a

ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so

that the boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go

the cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut

with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving

about two hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took up the

knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with

great ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men of war after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I

intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had

seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the

ships run adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived

the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end,

they set up such a scream of grief and despair as it is almost

impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger,

I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my hands and

face; and rubbed on some of the same ointment that was given me

at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off

my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide was a little

fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and arrived

safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the

issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in

a large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my

breast in water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel,

they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck..

The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's

fleet was approaching in a hostile manner: but he was soon eased

of his fears; for the channel growing shallower every step I made,

I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up the end of

the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loud voice,

"Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!" This great prince

received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and

created me a NARDAC upon the spot, which is the highest title of

honour among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of

bringing all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports. And so

unmeasureable is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think

of nothing less than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a

province, and governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian

exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end

of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole monarch of the

whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by

many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as well as

justice; and I plainly protested, "that I would never be an

instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery." And,

when the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the

ministry were of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the

schemes and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never

forgive me. He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council,

where I was told that some of the wisest appeared, at least by their

silence, to be of my opinion; but others, who were my secret.

enemies, could not forbear some expressions which, by a side-wind,

reflected on me. And from this time began an intrigue

between his majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent

against me, which broke out in less than two months, and had like

to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight are the

greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a

refusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn

embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was

soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to our

emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the reader. There were six

ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred persons, and their

entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their

master, and the importance of their business. When their treaty

was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit

I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their excellencies,

who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made

me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my

valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor

their master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of

my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many

wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the

reader with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their

infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the

honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their

master, the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole.

world with admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to

attend, before I returned to my own country. Accordingly, the

next time I had the honour to see our emperor, I desired his

general license to wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he

was pleased to grant me, as I could perceive, in a very cold

manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper from a

certain person, "that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my

intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection;"

from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the

first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and

ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an

interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from

each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself

upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with

an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor,

standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their

fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their

speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confessed, that

from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both

realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is mutual

among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their

young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish

themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and

manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or

seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold

conversation in both tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I

went to pay my respects to the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the.

midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies,

proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper

place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon

which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked,

upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but

an extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a

NARDAC of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were

looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him

justice), never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not

long before I had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I

then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight

with the cries of many hundred people at my door; by which,

being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the

word BURGLUM repeated incessantly: several of the emperor's

court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come

immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment

was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell

asleep while she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and

orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being

likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the palace

without trampling on any of the people. I found they had already

applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well

provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These

buckets were about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people

supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so

violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with

my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came.

away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly

desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have

infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind

unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had,

the evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine

called GLIMIGRIM, (the Blefuscudians call it FLUNEC, but ours

is esteemed the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest

chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it.

The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by

labouring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate by

urine; which I voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the

proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly

extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so

many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction.

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting

to congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a

very eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty

might resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the

fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what

quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace.

But I was a little comforted by a message from his majesty, "that

he would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my pardon

in form:" which, however, I could not obtain; and I was privately

assured, "that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of

what I had done, removed to the most distant side of the court,

firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired for

her use: and, in the presence of her chief confidents could not

forbear vowing revenge."..

 

CHAPTER VI.

 

 

[Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs;

the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living

in that country. His vindication of a great lady.]

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a

particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify

the curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size

of the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an

exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees:

for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five

inches in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their

geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations

downwards till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were

almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the

Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see with great

exactness, but at no great distance. And, to show the sharpness of

their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased

with observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a

common fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle with

invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean

some of those in the great royal park, the tops whereof I could but

just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are in the

same proportion; but this I leave to the reader's imagination..

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many

ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their

manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to

the right, like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the

Arabians, nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from

one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because

they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to

rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be

flat) will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their

resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The learned

among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the

practice still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar;

and if they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear

country, I should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It

is only to be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall

mention, relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are

punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused

makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is

immediately put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or

lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss

of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his

imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his

defence; or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by the.

crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of his

favour, and proclamation is made of his innocence through the

whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore

seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and

vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a

man's goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against

superior cunning; and, since it is necessary that there should be a

perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon

credit, where fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to

punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets

the advantage. I remember, when I was once interceding with the

emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great

sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with;

and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it

was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me

to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and

truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer,

that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was

heartily ashamed. (2)

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges

upon which all government turns, yet I could never observe this

maxim to be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput.

Whoever can there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly

observed the laws of his country for seventy-three moons, has a

claim to certain privileges, according to his quality or condition of

life, with a proportionable sum of money out of a fund.

appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of

SNILPALL, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not

descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious

defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws were

enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is

upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of

judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind,

and on each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of

gold open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to

show she is more disposed to reward than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard

to good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is

necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of

human understanding is fitted to some station or other; and that

Providence never intended to make the management of public

affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of

sublime genius, of which there seldom are three born in an age:

but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, to be in

every man's power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by

experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the

service of his country, except where a course of study is required.

But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being

supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments

could never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons

so qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by

ignorance, in a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal.

consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man, whose

inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to

manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions.

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man

incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow

themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think

nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men

as disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be

understood to mean the original institutions, and not the most

scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the

degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of

acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges

of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping

under them, the reader is to observe, that they were first

introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and

grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and

faction.

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have

been in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever

makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common

enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no

obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live..

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ

extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and

female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to

propagate and continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs

have it, that men and women are joined together, like other

animals, by the motives of concupiscence; and that their

tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like natural

principle: for which reason they will never allow that a child is

under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his

mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering the

miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended

so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were

otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their

opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with

the education of their own children; and therefore they have in

every town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers

and labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be

reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons,

at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of

docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to different

qualities, and both sexes. They have certain professors well

skilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits

the rank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as

inclinations. I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and

then of the female.

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided

with grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The

clothes and food of the children are plain and simple. They are.

bred up in the principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty,

clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always

employed in some business, except in the times of eating and

sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions

consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four

years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although

their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who are

aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial

offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go

together in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and

always in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies;

whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice,

to which our children are subject.

Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit

is to last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting

and parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those

occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling

expressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the

like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment

of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's

officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants,

traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the

same manner; only those designed for trades are put out

apprentices at eleven years old, whereas those of persons of.

quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to

twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually lessened for

the last three years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated

much like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of

their own sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy,

till they come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And

if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls

with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised

by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice

about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the

most desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies are as

much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and

despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness:

neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by

their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were

not altogether so robust; and that some rules were given them

relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was

enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality,

a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion,

because she cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve

years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their

parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of

gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young

lady and her companions..

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are

instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their

several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at

seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are

obliged, besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible,

to return to the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of

their gettings, to be a portion for the child; and therefore all

parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For the

Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in

subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the

world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As

to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a certain

sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these funds are

always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their

business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore

their education is of little consequence to the public:

but the old and diseased among them, are supported by hospitals;

for begging is a trade unknown in this empire.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some

account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,

during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a

head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity,

I had made for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of.

the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were

employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of

the strongest and coarsest kind they could get; which, however,

they were forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest

was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three

inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstresses took

my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, and

another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held

by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a

rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and

desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that twice

round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck and

the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the

ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three

hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me

clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I

kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my

neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line

from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of

my coat: but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my

clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the

largest of theirs would not have been able to hold them), they

looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England, only

that mine were all of a colour.

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient

huts built about my house, where they and their families lived,

and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in

my hand, and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended.

below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with

barrels of wine and other liquors slung on their shoulders; all

which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious

manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in

Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of

their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but

their beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have

been forced to make three bites of it; but this is rare. My servants

were astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country

we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a

mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller

fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of

living, desired "that himself and his royal consort, with the young

princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness," as

he was pleased to call it, "of dining with me." They came

accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state, upon my table,

just over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the

lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with his white staff;

and I observed he often looked on me with a sour countenance,

which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in

honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with

admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit

from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill

offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret

enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to

the moroseness of his nature. He represented to the emperor "the

low condition of his treasury; that he was forced to take up money.

at a great discount; that exchequer bills would not circulate under

nine per cent. below par; that I had cost his majesty above a

million and a half of SPRUGS" (their greatest gold coin, about the

bigness of a spangle) "and, upon the whole, that it would be

advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of

dismissing me."

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady,

who was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer

took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some

evil tongues, who informed him that her grace had taken a violent

affection for my person; and the court scandal ran for some time,

that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly

declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds,

further than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all

innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came often

to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in

the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and

some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other

ladies of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round,

whether they at any time saw a coach at my door, without

knowing what persons were in it. On those occasions, when a

servant had given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to

the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach and

two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were six

horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and place them on

a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five

inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four

coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I.

sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was

engaged with one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others

round my table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably

in these conversations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two

informers (I will name them, and let them make the best of it)

Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me

INCOGNITO, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by

express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.

I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not

been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly

concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the

honour to be a NARDAC, which the treasurer himself is not; for

all the world knows, that he is only a GLUMGLUM, a title

inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in

England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. These

false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of

by an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his

lady for some time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and

although he was at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost

all credit with him, and found my interest decline very fast with

the emperor himself, who was, indeed, too much governed by that

favourite..

 

CHAPTER VII.

 

 

[The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason,

makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.]

Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it

may be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had

been for two months forming against me.

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I

was unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed

heard and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and

ministers, but never expected to have found such terrible effects

of them, in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very

different maxims from those in Europe.

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor

of Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been

very serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest

displeasure of his imperial majesty) came to my house very

privately at night, in a close chair, and, without sending his name,

desired admittance. The chairmen were dismissed; I put the chair,

with his lordship in it, into my coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a

trusty servant, to say I was indisposed and gone to sleep, I

fastened the door of my house, placed the chair on the table,.

according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the

common salutations were over, observing his lordship's

countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he

desired "I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly

concerned my honour and my life." His speech was to the

following effect, for I took notes of it as soon as he left me:-"

You are to know," said he, "that several committees of council

have been lately called, in the most private manner, on your

account; and it is but two days since his majesty came to a full

resolution.

"You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam" (GALBET, or

high-admiral) "has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since

your arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is

increased since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his

glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with

Flimnap the high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious

on account of his lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the

chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand justiciary, have prepared

articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital

crimes."

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own

merits and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he

entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded:--.

"Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured

information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;

wherein I venture my head for your service.

"'Articles of Impeachment against QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (the

Man-Mountain.)

 

ARTICLE I.

 

 

"'Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty

Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water

within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains

and penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus

Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of

extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty's

most dear imperial consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and

devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled

in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of the

said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc.

against the duty, etc.

 

ARTICLE II.

 

 

"'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet

of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded

by his imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said

empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be

governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to

death, not only all the Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the.

people of that empire who would not immediately forsake the

Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against

his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to be

excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to

force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an

innocent people.

 

ARTICLE III.

 

 

"'That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of

Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's court, he, the said

Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the

said ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a

prince who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and

in an open war against his said majesty.

 

ARTICLE IV.

 

 

"'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful

subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and

empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license

from his imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license,

does falsely and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and

thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so

lately an enemy, and in open war with his imperial majesty

aforesaid.'

"There are some other articles; but these are the most important,

of which I have read you an abstract..

"In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be

confessed that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity;

often urging the services you had done him, and endeavouring to

extenuate your crimes. The treasurer and admiral insisted that you

should be put to the most painful and ignominious death, by

setting fire to your house at night, and the general was to attend

with twenty thousand men, armed with poisoned arrows, to shoot

you on the face and hands. Some of your servants were to have

private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your shirts and sheets,

which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the

utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so that

for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty

resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the

chamberlain.

"Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private

affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was

commanded by the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he

accordingly did; and therein justified the good thoughts you have

of him. He allowed your crimes to be great, but that still there was

room for mercy, the most commendable virtue in a prince, and for

which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He said, the friendship

between you and him was so well known to the world, that

perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial;

however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would

freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of

your services, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition,

would please to spare your life, and only give orders to put out.

both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient

justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world

would applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and

generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his

counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to

your bodily strength, by which you might still be useful to his

majesty; that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing

dangers from us; that the fear you had for your eyes, was the

greatest difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it would

be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the

greatest princes do no more.

"This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by

the whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his

temper, but, rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary

durst presume to give his opinion for preserving the life of a

traitor; that the services you had performed were, by all true

reasons of state, the great aggravation of your crimes; that you,

who were able to extinguish the fire by discharge of urine in her

majesty's apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might, at

another time, raise an inundation by the same means, to drown the

whole palace; and the same strength which enabled you to bring

over the enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to

carry it back; that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-endian

in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart, before it

appears in overt-acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that

account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death..

"The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits

his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining

you, which would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary's

expedient of putting out your eyes, was so far from being a

remedy against this evil, that it would probably increase it, as is

manifest from the common practice of blinding some kind of

fowls, after which they fed the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his

sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges, were, in

their own consciences, fully convinced of your guilt, which was a

sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal

proofs required by the strict letter of the law.

"But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital

punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council

thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way

may be inflicted hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly

desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the treasurer had

objected, concerning the great charge his majesty was at in

maintaining you, said, that his excellency, who had the sole

disposal of the emperor's revenue, might easily provide against

that evil, by gradually lessening your establishment; by which, for

want of sufficient for you would grow weak and faint, and lose

your appetite, and consequently, decay, and consume in a few

months; neither would the stench of your carcass be then so

dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and

immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty's

subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your.

bones, take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to

prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of

admiration to posterity.

"Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair

was compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of

starving you by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence

of putting out your eyes was entered on the books; none

dissenting, except Bolgolam the admiral, who, being a creature of

the empress, was perpetually instigated by her majesty to insist

upon your death, she having borne perpetual malice against you,

on account of that infamous and illegal method you took to

extinguish the fire in her apartment.

"In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to

your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and

then to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and

council, whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your

eyes, which his majesty does not question you will gratefully and

humbly submit to; and twenty of his majesty's surgeons will

attend, in order to see the operation well performed, by

discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into the balls of your eyes,

as you lie on the ground.

"I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to

avoid suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner

as I came.".

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and

perplexities of mind.

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very

different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former

times,) that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either

to gratify the monarch's resentment, or the malice of a favourite,

the emperor always made a speech to his whole council,

expressing his great lenity and tenderness, as qualities known and

confessed by all the world. This speech was immediately

published throughout the kingdom; nor did any thing terrify the

people so much as those encomiums on his majesty's mercy;

because it was observed, that the more these praises were enlarged

and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the

sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having

never been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or

education, I was so ill a judge of things, that I could not discover

the lenity and favour of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps

erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes

thought of standing my trial, for, although I could not deny the

facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit

of some extenuation. But having in my life perused many state-trials,

which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit

to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical

a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I was

strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the whole

strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily

with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that

project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the.

emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of

NARDAC he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned

the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty's

present seventies acquitted me of all past obligations.

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may

incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the

preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own

great rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then

known the nature of princes and ministers, which I have since

observed in many other courts, and their methods of treating

criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should, with great alacrity

and readiness, have submitted to so easy a punishment. But

hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having his imperial

majesty's license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of

Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were

elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the secretary, signifying my

resolution of setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the

leave I had got; and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that

side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man of war,

tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped

myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I carried

under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, between

wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu, where

the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to

direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held

them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the

gate, and desired them "to signify my arrival to one of the

secretaries, and let him know, I there waited his majesty's.

command." I had an answer in about an hour, "that his majesty,

attended by the royal family, and great officers of the court, was

coming out to receive me." I advanced a hundred yards. The

emperor and his train alighted from their horses, the empress and

ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any

fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty's and the

empress's hands. I told his majesty, "that I was come according to

my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to

have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him

any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own

prince;" not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had

hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself

wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably

conceive that the emperor would discover the secret, while I was

out of his power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was

deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my

reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so

great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house

and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my

coverlet..

 

CHAPTER VIII.

 

 

[The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu;

and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.]

Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east

coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the

sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my

shoes and stockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I

found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then

plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some

tempest have been driven from a ship. Whereupon, I returned

immediately towards the city, and desired his imperial majesty to

lend me twenty of the tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of

his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under the command of his

vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the

shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the boat. I found

the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided

with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient

strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded

till I came within a hundred yards off the boat, after which I was

forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of

the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat,

and the other end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to

little purpose; for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work..

In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat

forward, as often as I could, with one of my hands; and the tide

favouring me, I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin

and feel the ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave

the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than

my arm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being over, I took

out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and

fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels

which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed,

and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and,

waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the

assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a

shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by

the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get

my boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse

of people appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of

so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor "that my good fortune

had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence

I might return into my native country; and begged his majesty's

orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to

depart;" which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased to

grant.

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any

express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu.

But I was afterward given privately to understand, that his

imperial majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his.

designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of

my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was

well known at our court, and would return in a few days, when the

ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long

absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and the rest of that

cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy of the

articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the

monarch of Blefuscu, "the great lenity of his master, who was

content to punish me no farther than with the loss of mine eyes;

that I had fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I

should be deprived of my title of NARDAC, and declared a

traitor." The envoy further added, "that in order to maintain the

peace and amity between both empires, his master expected that

his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to have me sent back to

Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor."

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult,

returned an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He

said, "that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was

impossible; that, although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he

owed great obligations to me for many good offices I had done

him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties

would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious vessel on

the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders

to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and he hoped, in a

few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportable an

encumbrance.".

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch

of Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the

same time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious

protection, if I would continue in his service; wherein, although I

believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any

confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid

it; and therefore, with all due acknowledgments for his favourable

intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, "that since

fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I

was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be an

occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs."

Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I discovered,

by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and

so were most of his ministers.

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat

sooner than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me

gone, very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were

employed to make two sails to my boat, according to my

directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen

together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by

twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of

theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, by

the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the tallow of three

hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at

incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber-trees,

for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his

majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,

after I had done the rough work..

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his

majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and

royal family came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss

his hand, which he very graciously gave me: so did the empress

and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with

fifty purses of two hundred SPRUGS a-piece, together with his

picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of my

gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The ceremonies at my

departure were too many to trouble the reader with at this time.

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three

hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much

meat ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took

with me six cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and

rams, intending to carry them into my own country, and propagate

the breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay,

and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the

natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means

permit; and, besides a diligent search into my pockets, his majesty

engaged my honour "not to carry away any of his subjects,

although with their own consent and desire."

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on

the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning;

and when I had gone about four-leagues to the northward, the

wind being at south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small

island, about half a league to the north-west. I advanced forward,

and cast anchor on the lee-side of the island, which seemed to be.

uninhabited. I then took some refreshment, and went to my rest. I

slept well, and as I conjectured at least six hours, for I found the

day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate

my breakfast before the sun was up; and heaving anchor, the wind

being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done the day

before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My

intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands. which I

had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van Diemen's Land.

I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next, about three in

the afternoon, when I had by my computation made twenty-four

leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the south-east;

my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer; yet

I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the

sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her

ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I

was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my

beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship

slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six in

the evening, September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to

see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets,

and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions.

The vessel was an English merchantman, returning from Japan by

the North and South seas; the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of

Deptford, a very civil man, and an excellent sailor.

We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about

fifty men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one

Peter Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain.

This gentleman treated me with kindness, and desired I would let.

him know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound;

which I did in a few words, but he thought I was raving, and that

the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head; whereupon I took

my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great

astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. I then

showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu,

together with his majesty's picture at full length, and some other

rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds

SPRUGS each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to

make him a present of a cow and a sheep big with young.

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this

voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived

in the Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one

misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I

found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of

my cattle I got safe ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green

at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them

feed very heartily, though I had always feared the contrary:

neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a voyage,

if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which,

rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was their constant

food. The short time I continued in England, I made a

considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of

quality and others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold

them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed.

is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will

prove much to the advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the

fineness of the fleeces.

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my

insatiable desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to

continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife,

and fixed her in a good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I

carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to

improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate

in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year; and I had a

long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as

much more; so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family

upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at

the grammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty

(who is now well married, and has children) was then at her

needle-work. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears

on both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship

of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of

Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be

referred to the Second Part of my Travels..

 

 * PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG *

 

 

CHAPTER I.

 

 

[A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the

author goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is

seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His

reception, with several accidents that happened there.

A description of the inhabitants.]

Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and

restless life, in two months after my return, I again left my native

country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June,

1702, in the Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man,

commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till

we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh

water; but discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and

wintered there; for the captain falling sick of an ague, we could

not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, and had

a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar; but

having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees

south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow

a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the

beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of

April began to blow with much greater violence, and more

westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days together:.

during which time, we were driven a little to the east of the

Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, as

our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of May, at

which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat I

was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in

the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm,

which accordingly happened the day following: for the southern

wind, called the southern monsoon, began to set in.

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and

stood by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked

the guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very

broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the sea, than

trying or hulling. We reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled

aft the fore-sheet; the helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore

bravely. We belayed the fore down-haul; but the sail was split, and

we hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and

unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm; the

sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon the laniard

of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We would not

get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded

before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being

aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through

the sea, seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set

fore-sail and main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the

mizen, main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-

east, the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks

aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-.

braces, and hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled

them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to

windward, and kept her full and by as near as she would lie.

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-

west, we were carried, by my computation, about five

hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board

could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our provisions

held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good

health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it

best to hold on the same course, rather than turn more northerly,

which might have brought us to the north-west part of Great

Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered

land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or

continent (for we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof

was a small neck of land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too

shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor

within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his

men well armed in the long-boat, with vessels for water, if any

could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might

see the country, and make what discoveries I could. When we

came to land we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of

inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out

some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on

the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I

now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my

curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea.

being full in my view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and

rowing for life to the ship. I was going to halloo after them,

although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge

creature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could: he

waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious

strides: but our men had the start of him half a league, and, the sea

thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not

able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst

not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast as I could

the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave

me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated; but

that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which, in

those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was about twenty

feet high.

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the

inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I

walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it

being now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I

was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in

with a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the

trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their altitude.

There was a stile to pass from this field into the next. It had four

steps, and a stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost.

It was impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step

was six-feet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was

endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered

one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the

stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing.

our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took

about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was

struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide

myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking

back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call in a

voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise

was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was

thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards

him with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the

largeness of six scythes. These people were not so well clad as the

first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon

some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field

where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but

was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the

corn were sometimes not above a foot distant, so that I could

hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to

go forward, till I came to a part of the field where the corn had

been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for me to

advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not

creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and

pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At

the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me.

Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and

dispair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I

might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and

fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in

attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends

and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I could not forbear

thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the.

greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world; where I was able

to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other

actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that

empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although

attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove

to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single

Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the

least of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to

be more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I

expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these

enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me?

Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that

nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison. It might

have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputians find some nation,

where the people were as diminutive with respect to them, as they

were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious race of

mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the

world, whereof we have yet no discovery.

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with

these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten

yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the

next step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in

two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again

about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me:

whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, looking round about

under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground.

He considered awhile, with the caution of one who endeavours to

lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall.

not be able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have

sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured

to take me behind, by the middle, between his fore-finger and

thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that he

might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,

and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I

resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above

sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched my

sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was

to raise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in

a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in a humble

melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I

apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the

ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal, which we have

a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that he

appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look

upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce

articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the

mean time I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears,

and turning my head towards my sides; letting him know, as well

as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and

finger. He seemed to apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the

lappet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran

along with me to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and the

same person I had first seen in the field.

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an

account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a

small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted.

up the lappets of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some

kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside

to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about him,

and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever

seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then

placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I got

immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let

those people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in

a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off

my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my

knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words

as loud as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and

humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his

hand, then applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and

afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he

took out of his sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I

made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then

took the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm.

There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty

or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger

upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces, and then

another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He

made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse

again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times,

I thought it best to do.

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational

creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced

my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate.

enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he

often laid his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we

were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants

to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he

doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the

ground with the palm upward, making me a sign to step into it, as

I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I

thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at

full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he

lapped me up to the head for further security, and in this manner

carried me home to his house. There he called his wife, and

showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in

England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she

had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs

her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew

extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It

was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition

of a husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet

diameter. The company were, the farmer and his wife, three

children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the

farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which

was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and

kept as far as I could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife

minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher, and

placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and

fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The

mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about two.

gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with much

difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to

her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in

English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was

almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small

cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to

come to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in

great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily

conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and

fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately,

and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my

hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners,) and waving

it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had got no mischief

by my fall. But advancing forward towards my master (as I shall

henceforth call him,) his youngest son, who sat next to him, an

arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held

me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb: but his father

snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box

on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse to

the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid

the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how

mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows,

rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and

pointing to the boy, made my master to understand, as well as I

could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father

complied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to

him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him

stroke me gently with it..

In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her

lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers

at work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from

the purring of that animal, who seemed to be three times larger

than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her

paws, while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The

fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether discomposed

me; though I stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet

off; and although my mistress held her fast, for fear she might

give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there

was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my

master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have been

always told, and found true by experience in my travels, that

flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way

to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous

juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity

five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came within

half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she

were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the

dogs, whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in

farmers' houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four

elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the

mastiff, but not so large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a

year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a

squall that you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea,

after the usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The

mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me towards.

the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my

head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was

frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke my

neck, if the mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to

quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow

vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the

child's waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to apply the

last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever

disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which

I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader

an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet,

and could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple

was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that

and the dug, so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that

nothing could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her,

she sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I

standing on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of

our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because

they are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but

through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that the

smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse, and ill-coloured.

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those

diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and

talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was

an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much

fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground, than

it did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and.

brought him close, which he confessed was at first a very

shocking sight. He said, "he could discover great holes in my skin;

that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than the

bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours

altogether disagreeable:" although I must beg leave to say for

myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very

little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of

the ladies in that emperor's court, he used to tell me, "one had

freckles; another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;"

nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection

was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the

reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed:

for I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of

people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance,

although he was but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height

of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and,

as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict

charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to

sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed,

and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger and

coarser than the mainsail of a man-of-war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife

and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and

found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three

hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed

twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household.

affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the

floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down; I durst

not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in vain, with

such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room where I

lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under these

circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling

back-wards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost

to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger

to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to

attack me on both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my

collar; but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he

could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other,

seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without

one good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and

made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit, I

walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss

of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but

infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt

before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces

and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to

be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my

stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding;

I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the

neck, I thoroughly despatched it.

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all

bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat,

smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat

she was extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead.

rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she

set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and

wiping it on the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I

was pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do

for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my mistress

understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor; which after

she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express

myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing several

times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived

what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked

into the garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about

two hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow

me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there

discharged the necessities of nature.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and

the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear

to groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to

enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the

benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole design

in presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world;

wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting

any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this

voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so

deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to paper I did

not omit one material circumstance: however, upon a strict

review, I blotted out several passages. Of less moment which.

were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and

trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without justice,

accused..

 

CHAPTER II.

 

 

[A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a

market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his

journey.]

My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly

parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in

dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the

baby's cradle for me against night: the cradle was put into a small

drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf

for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I staid with those

people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to

learn their language and make my wants known. This young girl

was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes

before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never

gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She

made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as

could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these

she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was

likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I

pointed to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue,

so that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind

to. She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high,

being little for her age. She gave me the name of GRILDRIG,.

which the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The

word imports what the Latins call NANUNCULUS, the Italians

HOMUNCELETINO, and the English MANNIKIN. To her I

chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted

while I was there; I called her my GLUMDALCLITCH, or little

nurse; and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this

honourable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I

heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead

of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I

have too much reason to fear.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that

my master had found a strange animal in the field, about the

bigness of a SPLACNUCK, but exactly shaped in every part like a

human creature; which it likewise imitated in all its actions;

seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already

learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was

tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it

was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer

than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another farmer,

who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came

on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was

immediately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked

as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my

reverence to my master's guest, asked him in his own language

how he did, and told him HE WAS WELCOME, just as my little

nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted,

put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not

forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full.

moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who

discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing,

at which the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of

countenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to my

misfortune, he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my

master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town,

which was half an hour's riding, about two-and-twenty miles from

our house. I guessed there was some mischief when I observed my

master and his friend whispering together, sometimes pointing at

me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood

some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my

little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly

picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom,

and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some

mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might

squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in

their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my

nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I

should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a public spectacle,

to the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and mamma had

promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she found they

meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretended to

give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher.

For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less concerned

than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I

should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of

being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a

perfect stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could.

never be charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to

England, since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition,

must have undergone the same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a

box the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along

with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him.

The box was close on every side, with a little door for me to go in

and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so

careful as to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie

down on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this

journey, though it was but of half an hour: for the horse went

about forty feet at every step and trotted so high, that the agitation

was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but

much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther than

from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted at an inn which

he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with the inn-keeper,

and making some necessary preparations, he hired the

GRULTRUD, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange

creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a

SPLACNUCK (an animal in that country very finely shaped,

about six feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a

human creature, could speak several words, and perform a

hundred diverting tricks.

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which

might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a

low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I

should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty.

people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl

commanded; she asked me questions, as far as she knew my

understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as

loud as I could. I turned about several times to the company, paid

my humble respects, said THEY WERE WELCOME, and used

some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled

with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and

drank their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it

after the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part

of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my

youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as

often forced to act over again the same fopperies, till I was half

dead with weariness and vexation; for those who had seen me

made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break

down the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would

not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent

danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to

put me out of every body's reach. However, an unlucky school-boy

aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly

missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would

have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large

as a small pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young

rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the

next market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient

vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so

tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for

eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or.

speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my

strength; and that I might have no rest at home, all the

neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of

my fame, came to see me at my master's own house. There could

not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for

the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate

of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were

only to a single family; so that for some time I had but little ease

every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their

Sabbath,) although I were not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to

carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having

therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long

journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife,

and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my

arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situate near the middle of

that empire, and about three thousand miles distance from our

house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind

him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The

girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get,

well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided

me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything as

convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of

the house, who rode after us with the luggage.

My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way,

and to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any

village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect.

custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score

miles a-day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me,

complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often

took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give me air, and

show me the country, but always held me fast by a leading-string.

We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and

deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet

so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks in

our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides

many villages, and private families.

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in

their language LORBRULGRUD, or Pride of the Universe. My

master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far

from the royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form,

containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a

large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He

provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my

part, and pallisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as

many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a-day,

to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now

speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every

word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet,

and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for

Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and

at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her

pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a common.

treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their

religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the

words..

 

CHAPTER III.

 

 

[The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master

the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his

majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the

author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the

honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.]

The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few

weeks, a very considerable change in my health: the more my

master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my

stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer

observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as

good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and

resolving with himself, a SARDRAL, or gentleman-usher, came

from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately

thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the

latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of

my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those

who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my

demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing

her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little

finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced

in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to

my lip. She made me some general questions about my country.

and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few

words as I could. She asked, "whether I could be content to live at

court?" I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly

answered "that I was my master's slave: but, if I were at my own

disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's

service." She then asked my master, "whether he was willing to

sell me at a good price?" He, who apprehended I could not live a

month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a

thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot,

each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; but

allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and

Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so

great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then

said to the queen, "since I was now her majesty's most humble

creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,

who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and

understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service,

and continue to be my nurse and instructor."

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's

consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at

court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My

late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left

me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making

him a slight bow.

The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone

out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her

majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than.

his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found

by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed,

by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom,

and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led

was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength.

That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of

entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my

master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not

have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being

ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an empress,

the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her

subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's

apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already found

my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence."

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties

and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style

peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from

Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in

speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense

in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and

carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His

majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not

well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold

manner "how long it was since she grew fond of a

SPLACNUCK?" for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon

my breast in her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has.

an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon

the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account

of myself, which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch

who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be

out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed

from my arrival at her father's house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his

dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and

particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly,

and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might

be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a

very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But

when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular

and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no

means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came

into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between

Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to

make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put

several other questions to me, and still received rational answers:

no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect

knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had

learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a

court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their

weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These

gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much

nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed.

that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of

nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my

life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in

the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with

great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet most

quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some

others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to

support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which

they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could

not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might

be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by

the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished;

and that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my

beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a

magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf,

because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for

the queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that

kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they

concluded unanimously, that I was only RELPLUM SCALCATH,

which is interpreted literally LUSUS NATURAE; a determination

exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose

professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby

the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their

ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all

difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human

knowledge..

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or

two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, "that I

came from a country which abounded with several millions of

both sexes, and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and

houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I

might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any

of his majesty's subjects could do here; which I took for a full

answer to those gentlemen's arguments." To this they only replied

with a smile of contempt, saying, "that the farmer had instructed

me very well in my lesson." The king, who had a much better

understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer,

who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having

therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him

with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what

we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order

that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion

that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending

me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other.

A convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a

sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid

to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care

of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded

her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for

a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should

agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according

to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber

of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash-windows, a

door, and two closets, like a London bed-chamber..

The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by

two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's

upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made

it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the

roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little

curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and

frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a

cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as

well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the

carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a

jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to

prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several

attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I

have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house in England.

I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing

Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the

thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much

thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was

accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom,

partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a

very grave and decent habit.

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not

dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her

majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on.

Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist

and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates,

and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen,

were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop.

for the furniture of a baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her

pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them,

always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but

the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the

younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put

a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for

myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the

queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one

mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal,

which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would

craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth,

although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey;

and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny

loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a

draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight

upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were

all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch

carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court,

where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were

lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible

a sight.

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed,

is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both

sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I

was now become a great favourite; and at these times, my little

chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars.

This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me,

inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and.

learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was

able. His apprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact,

that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I

said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too copious in

talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea

and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the

prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not

forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently

with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, "whether I

was a whig or tory?" Then turning to his first minister, who waited

behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the

Royal Sovereign, he observed "how contemptible a thing was

human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive

insects as I: and yet," says he, "I dare engage these creatures have

their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little nests and

burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in

dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat,

they betray!" And thus he continued on, while my colour came

and went several times, with indignation, to hear our noble

country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the

arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the

pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature

thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after

having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse

of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine

eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first

conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I.

had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their

finery and birth-day clothes, acting their several parts in the most

courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the

truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at

them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed,

could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place

me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our

persons appeared before me in full view together; and there could

be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really

began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual

size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf;

who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I

verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at

seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always

affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's

antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the

lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a smart word

or two upon my littleness; against which I could only revenge

myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and

such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One

day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with

something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame

of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was

sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large

silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell

over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it

might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that.

instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen

was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist

me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I

had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed: however,

I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which

was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a

farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into

which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favour;

for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so

that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I could

not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have

carried his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,

although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and

would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so

generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone

upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the

bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf,

watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the

side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me

at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs

together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist,

where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I

believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was

become of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes

seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my

stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my

entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping..

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my

fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of my

country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this:

the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and these

odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly

gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual

humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes

alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or

spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the

natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as

mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon

my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling

very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter,

which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with

their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend

myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear

starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice

of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as

schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my

nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy

was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air,

wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a

box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air

(for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the

window, as we do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one

of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet.

cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell,

came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as

many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it

piecemeal away; others flew about my head and face,

confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost

terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw

my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them,

but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These

insects were as large as partridges: I took out their stings, found

them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully

preserved them all; and having since shown them, with some

other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to

England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the

fourth for myself..

 

CHAPTER IV.

 

 

[The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps.

The king's palace; and some account of the metropolis. The

author's way of travelling. The chief temple described.]

I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country,

as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles

round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always

attended, never went farther when she accompanied the king in

his progresses, and there staid till his majesty returned from

viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions

reaches about six thousand miles in length, and from three to five

in breadth: whence I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of

Europe are in a great error, by supposing nothing but sea between

Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion, that there must

be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent of

Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts,

by joining this vast tract of land to the north-west parts of

America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a

ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether

impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do

the most learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those.

mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other

sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one sea-port in the

whole kingdom: and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers

issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough,

that there is no venturing with the smallest of their boats; so that

these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the

rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and

abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any from the sea,

because the sea fish are of the same size with those in Europe, and

consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest, that

nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary

a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the

reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then

they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks,

which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have

known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his

shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in

hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a dish at the king's

table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond

of it; for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I

have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near

a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy

my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud.

This city stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the

river that passes through. It contains above eighty thousand

houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length

three GLOMGLUNGS (which make about fifty-four English.

miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as I measured it myself in

the royal map made by the king's order, which was laid on the

ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I paced

the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,

computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.

The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings,

about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two

hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A

coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her

governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among

the shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box;

although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me out, and

hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the

houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned

our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not

altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the

governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where

the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of

the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a

European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her

breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of

which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole body.

There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than five wool-packs;

and another, with a couple of wooden legs, each about

twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice

crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these

vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European

louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they.

rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I

should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had

had proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the

ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly

turned my stomach.

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen

ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet

square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because

the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and

cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I

directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling-closet was an

exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares,

and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to

prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had

no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the

person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put

a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always

the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide,

whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were

disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or

minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be

out of order; for I soon began to be known and esteemed among

the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their

majesties' favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I

was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on

my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I had a

full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three

windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock, hung.

from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the

floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or

the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those

motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much

discompose me.

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my

travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of

open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men,

and attended by two others in the queen's livery. The people, who

had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the

sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers

stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more

conveniently seen.

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the

tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the

kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I

may truly say I came back disappointed; for the height is not

above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the

highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between

the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for

admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) to

Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation, to which,

during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it

must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height,

is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near a

hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about

forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and.

emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their several

niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one

of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and

found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch

wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her

pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very

fond, as children at her age usually are.

The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and

about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten

paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on

purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen

grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on

the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly

believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a

little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which

censure I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that

if this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of

Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and

transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to

complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive

representation.

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables:

they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he

goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military

guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the

most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his

army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak...

 

CHAPTER V.

 

 

[Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of

a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.]

I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness

had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome

accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch

often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box,

and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand,

or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the

queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse

having set me down, he and I being close together, near some

dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly allusion

between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their

language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,

watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them,

shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of

them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my

ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and

knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt,

and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the

provocation..

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to

divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her

governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent

shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck to

the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such

cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls;

however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter

myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of

lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that I could not go

abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because

nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all

her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large

as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been

so curious as to weigh and measure them.

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same

garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure

place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my

own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the

trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her

governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was

absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to

one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden,

happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, following

the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran

straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the

ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was

carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing

my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a.

great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me

up in both his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so

amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few

minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little

nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left

me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer

when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on

account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known

at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger; and truly, as

to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a

story should go about.

This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust

me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of

this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little

unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I was left

by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at

me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a

thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his

talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell

to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the

earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse

myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin

against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I

was walking alone and thinking on poor England.

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe,

in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be

at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance,.

looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and

security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a

thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a

of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast.

When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly

turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst

not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back

unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But

one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so

luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by

the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my

nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering

himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of

my head and body, though I held him at arm's-length, and was out

of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let

him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who

wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by

the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember,

seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan.

The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their

apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on

purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They

would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full

length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because,

to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins;

which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those

excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I

conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my.

littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more

disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the

same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their

natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used

perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot

forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom

in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to

complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty

that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling

was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people.

Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my

mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as

sweet as those of any lady in England.

That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of

honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them

use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had

no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the

skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed

on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure

to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me

any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins

appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw

them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and

hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing

farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all

scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the

quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above

three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a.

pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me

astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein

the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was

so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive

some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.

One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's

governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was

of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate

acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the

company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally

tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind

of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I

thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a

chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off

at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins and

arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so

high in the air, that the great JET D'EAU at Versailles was not

equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the

scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I

was at least half an English mile distant.

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages,

and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked

me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and

whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my

health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although

my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the

ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common.

mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their

country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man

of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never

live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a

boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a

place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and

by my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all

its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it

was finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in

her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of

water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my

two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had

before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a

wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight

deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on

the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a

cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow

stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I

often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the

queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained

with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and

then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a

gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their

pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I

showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased.

When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into

her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry..

In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost

me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the

trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very

officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I happened to

slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down

forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I

had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good

gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of the pin passing between

my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was held by

the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my

trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a

huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay

concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place,

climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I

was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to

prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once

half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and

forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The

largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal

that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me

deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls,

and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was

from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen.

Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went

somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very.

warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows

and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because

of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my

table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip

about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much

alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my seat;

and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and

down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view

with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every

window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but

the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I

wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I

might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping,

grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of

his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse,

although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the

lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was

very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his

right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to

suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a

kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me

so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good

reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own

species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other

paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet

door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly

leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence

upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding

me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to.

ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was

carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter

of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the

monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge

of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and

feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some

victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps,

and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble

below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly

ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous

enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up

stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly

forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men;

which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost

encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three

legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat

for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting

every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my

own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge

to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen,

climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me

down safe.

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had

crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of

my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which

gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides.

with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was

forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the

court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty

made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was

killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept

about the palace.

When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks

for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this

adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and speculations

were, while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he

gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the

roof had sharpened my stomach." He desired to know, "what I

would have done upon such an occasion in my own country." I

told his majesty, "that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such

as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that

I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to

attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so

lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears

had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,"

(looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke)

"when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have

given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to

withdraw it with more haste than he put it in." This I delivered in a

firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should

be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else

beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty

from those about him could not make them contain. This made

me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do.

himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality

or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own

behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little

contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or

common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put

himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story:

and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch

enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that

she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had

been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air

about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted

out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and

Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to

walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my

activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but

unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle

up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of

the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief,

for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box,

till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of

what had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that

all the mirth for some days was at my expense..

 

CHAPTER VI.

 

 

[Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen.

He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of

England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations

thereon.]

I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had

often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first

very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as

an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the

country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the

barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked

forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of

fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several

holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get

from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping

and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a

very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own

being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless:

neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as

would undertake to make me another..

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many

of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me

the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good

quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who

had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him

to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box,

and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I

designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the

strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane

chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a present of

them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used to

show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of

every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon

one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting

I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on

those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of

these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made

a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name

deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the

queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use,

being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and

therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are

fond of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court,

to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to

hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly

distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and

trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at.

your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box

removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I

could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the

window curtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable.

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.

Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended

twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat

resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same

manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the

king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But

this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet

long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms

extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them

down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be

too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was

this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common

cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered

the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on

them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the

sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet

below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon

it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys

with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great

satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent

exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen

keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other

artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance..

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent

understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in

my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then

command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit

down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet,

which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I

had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to

tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards Europe,

and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those

excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did

not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we

observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the

least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had

the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the

larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I

hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The

king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better

opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give

him as exact an account of the government of England as I

possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their

own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my

former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that

might deserve imitation."

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished

for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled

me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style

equal to its merits and felicity..

I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our

dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three

mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in

America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the

temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the

constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an

illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblest

blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described

that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and

arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and

kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the

highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to

be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and

country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the

ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their

most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of

their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to

degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of

that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business

is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people

therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole

nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of

the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the

sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were

indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly

called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen,

freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their.

great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of

the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most

august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the

prince, the whole legislature is committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges,

those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for

determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as

for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I

mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour

and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the

number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there

might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did

not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular

which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I

finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in

England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of

several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention,

frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums

of what questions he intended to ask me.

When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a

sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts,

queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What

methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young

nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the

first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to.

supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct?

What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created

new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a

court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the

public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those

advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the

laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable

them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last

resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice,

partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view,

could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I

spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their

knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had

never been compliers with the times, while they were common

priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose

opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were

admitted into that assembly?"

He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing

those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong

purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before

their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the

neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so

violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to

be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families,

without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an

exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed

to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.".

And he desired to know, "Whether such zealous gentlemen could

have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and

trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs

of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted

ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly

upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and

objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty

desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better

able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in

chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, "What

time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong,

and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had

liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust,

vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics,

were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether

those pleading orators were persons educated in the general

knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other

local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in

penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of

interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they

had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same

cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether

they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any

pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And

particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the

lower senate?".

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he

thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes

at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention

the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than

double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this

point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our

conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in

his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a

loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private

person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we

found money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such

chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a

quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that

our generals must needs be richer than our kings." He asked, what

business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of

trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all,

he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in

the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, "if we were

governed by our own consent, in the persons of our

representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or

against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,

whether a private man's house might not be better defended by

himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals,

picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might

get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?"

He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to

call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation

drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.".

He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions

prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should

not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any

government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce

the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his

closet, but not to vend them about for cordials."

He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and

gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age

this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid

down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went

so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people,

by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and

sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as

habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the

improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they

received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon

others?"

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him

of our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a

heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions,

banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction,

hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy,

lust, malice, and ambition, could produce."

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate

the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with

the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and.

stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall

never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend

Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your

country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and

vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that

laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose

interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding

them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in

its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and

the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not

appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required

toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less,

that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are

advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or

valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their

country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,"

continued the king, "who have spent the greatest part of your life

in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have

escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered

from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains

wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of

your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin

that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.".

 

CHAPTER VII.

 

 

[The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much

advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great

ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect

and confined. The laws, and military affairs, and parties in the

state.]

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me

from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover

my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I

was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved

country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of

my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but

this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every

particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good

manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet

thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that I

artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a

more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth

would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to

my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much

justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and

deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and.

beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere

endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch,

although it unfortunately failed of success.

But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly

secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be

altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most

prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will ever

produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking,

from which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly

exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince's

notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all

mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the

miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a

passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate

myself further into his majesty's favour, I told him of "an

invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago,

to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the smallest spark

of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment, although it

were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air

together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a

proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass

or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead,

with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its

force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only

destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest

walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in.

each, to the bottom of the sea, and when linked together by a

chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide hundreds of

bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often

put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged

them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would

rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw

splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came

near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and

common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and

could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size

proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and

the largest need not be above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty

of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and

balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his

dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever

it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands." This I

humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of

acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received,

of his royal favour and protection.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of

those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. "He was

amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I" (these

were his expressions) "could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in

so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the

scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the

common effects of those destructive machines; whereof," he said,

"some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first

contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few things.

delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet

he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a

secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to

mention any more."

A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince

possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and

esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning,

endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his

subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in

Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into

his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives,

the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do I say this,

with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that

excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this

account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an English

reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen from their

ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science,

as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very

well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to

say, "there were several thousand books among us written upon

the art of government," it gave him (directly contrary to my

intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He

professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement,

and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what

I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation,

were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing

within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to

justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and.

criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not

worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever

could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon

a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve

better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country,

than the whole race of politicians put together."

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in

morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be

allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what

may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all

mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed.

And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could

never drive the least conception into their heads.

No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters

in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But

indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed

in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not

mercurial enough to discover above one interpretation: and to

write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the

decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their

precedents are so few, that they have little reason to boast of any

extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out

of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,

which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a

thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet.

long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The

queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a

kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a

standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a

moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance

from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was

put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of

the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top

of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten

paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little

below the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I

came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the

other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which

I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff

as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or

twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they

avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using

various expressions. I have perused many of their books,

especially those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was

much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in

Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a

grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and

devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is

in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar.

However, I was curious to see what an author of that country

could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the

usual topics of European moralists, showing "how diminutive,.

contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature;

how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the

fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in

strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in

industry." He added, "that nature was degenerated in these latter

declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small

abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient times." He said

"it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of men

were originally much larger, but also that there must have been

giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by history and

tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls,

casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the

common dwindled race of men in our days." He argued, "that the

very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been

made, in the beginning of a size more large and robust; not so

liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling

from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being

drowned in a little brook." From this way of reasoning, the author

drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but

needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid

reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing

lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and

repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe,

upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded

among us as they are among that people.

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists

of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two

thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up.

of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the country,

whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay

or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and

under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how

should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the command

of his own landlord, and every citizen under that of the principal

men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, by ballot?

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise,

in a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in

all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse;

but it was impossible for me to compute their number, considering

the space of ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large

steed, might be about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole

body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their swords at

once, and brandish them in the air.

Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so

astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were

darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there

is no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to

teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon

informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in

the course of many ages, they have been troubled with the same

disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility

often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for

absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the.

laws of that kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of

the three parties, and have more than once occasioned civil wars;

the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grand-father,

in a general composition; and the militia, then settled with

common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty..

 

CHAPTER VIII.

 

 

[The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author

attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very

particularly related. He returns to England.]

I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my

liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or

to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in

which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight

of that coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any

time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its

crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was

strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I

might propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have died

than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in

cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the

kingdom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed

treated with much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king

and queen, and the delight of the whole court; but it was upon

such a foot as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could never

forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be

among people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and

walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being trod.

to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came

sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common; the

whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning

of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a

progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual,

in my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a

very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a

hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the

top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on

horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my

hammock, while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet,

not directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner

to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as

I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew

backward and forward through a groove.

When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to

pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within

eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were

much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so

ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean,

which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should

happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired

leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very

fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall

never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented,

nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,.

bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some

forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box,

about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the

seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my

sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I

found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to

take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I

got in, and the boy shut the window close down, to keep out the

cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept,

the page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks

to look for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my

window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts.

Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent

pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for the

conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air,

and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had

like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterward the

motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as loud as I

could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my

windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a

noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then

began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle

had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall

on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and

devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to

discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed

than I could be within a two-inch board..

In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to

increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a

sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought

given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have been that

held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt

myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with

such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall

was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears

than the cataract of Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark

for another minute, and then my box began to rise so high, that I

could see light from the tops of the windows. I now perceived I

was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the

goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength

at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet

deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle

which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others,

and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against the

rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at

the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the

balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the

surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the

door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which

kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with

much difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw

back the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on

purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost

stifled..

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch,

from whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say

with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not

forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for

my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune.

Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties

and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to

see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent

blast, or rising wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would

have been immediate death: nor could any thing have preserved

the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside,

against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at several

crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I

endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift

up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have

done, and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve

myself some hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it)

in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what

could I expect but a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was

four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed

wishing, every moment to be my last.

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples

fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into

which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put

a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in this

disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind

of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were

fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box was pulled or.

towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging,

which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leaving

me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief,

although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about.

I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always

fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it

down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately

opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I

could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the

languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick

I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several

times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen

might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my

closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better,

that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows,

struck against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a

rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a

noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the

grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself

hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before.

Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and handkerchief, calling

for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great

shout repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are

not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a

trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole

with a loud voice, in the English tongue, "If there be any body

below, let them speak." I answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn.

by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature

underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered

out of the dungeon I was in." The voice replied, "I was safe, for

my box was fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should

immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to

pull me out." I answered, "that was needless, and would take up

too much time; for there was no more to be done, but let one of the

crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea

into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin." Some of them, upon

hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for

indeed it never came into my head, that I was now got among

people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and

in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let

down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken

into the ship in a very weak condition.

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand

questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally

confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them

to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous

objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an

honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint,

took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and

made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little

rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him

to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too

good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two

chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,

or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of.

the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there

before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me

utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I

suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and

going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet,

whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and

stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead,

being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance

of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off

some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got

all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which by

reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to

rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the

havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly

touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I

would rather have forgot.

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the

place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon

waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight

o'clock at night, and the captain ordered supper immediately,

thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with

great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk

inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I would give

him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to be set

adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said "that about twelve

o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at

a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make,

being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit,.

his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and

finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was;

that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a

swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself

in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with

them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several

times, observed my windows and wire lattices that defended

them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which was all

of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his

men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the

staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the

ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable

to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with

pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or

three feet." He said, "they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust

out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be

shut up in the cavity." I asked, "whether he or the crew had seen

any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first discovered

me." To which he answered, that discoursing this matter with the

sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three

eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their

being larger than the usual size:" which I suppose must be

imputed to the great height they were at; and he could not guess

the reason of my question. I then asked the captain, "how far he

reckoned we might be from land?" He said, "by the best

computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues."

I assured him, "that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had

not left the country whence I came above two hours before I

dropped into the sea." Whereupon he began again to think that my.

brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me

to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, "I was well

refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much

in my senses as ever I was in my life." He then grew serious, and

desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in my mind

by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was

punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that

chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced to

sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should

be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would

engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we

arrived." He added, "that his suspicions were much increased by

some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to his sailors,

and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well

as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper."

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully

did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first

discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational

minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of

learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my

candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I

entreated him to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of

which I had the key in my pocket; for he had already informed me

how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own

presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made

in the country from which I had been so strangely delivered.

There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king's

beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of.

her majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a

collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four

wasp stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's

hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a

most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and

throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would

please to accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he

absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my

own hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of

Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England,

I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him

to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a mouse's

skin.

I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I

observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a

fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than

such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon,

in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted

with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it

cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and

four inches in diameter.

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had

given him, and said, "he hoped, when we returned to England, I

would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it

public." My answer was, "that we were overstocked with books of

travels: that nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary;

wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth, than their.

own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers; that

my story could contain little beside common events, without those

ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other

animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of savage

people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked him

for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my

thoughts."

He said "he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear

me speak so loud;" asking me "whether the king or queen of that

country were thick of hearing?" I told him, "it was what I had

been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as much

at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to

whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I

spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets, to

another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I was

placed on a table, or held in any person's hand." I told him, "I had

likewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the

ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the

most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld." For indeed,

while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to look

in a glass, after mine eyes had been accustomed to such

prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so

despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said, "that while we

were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a sort

of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my

laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to

some disorder in my brain." I answered, "it was very true; and I

wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size.

of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not

so big as a nut-shell;" and so I went on, describing the rest of his

household-stuff and provisions, after the same manner. For,

although he queen had ordered a little equipage of all things

necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas were

wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I

winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The

captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with

the old English proverb, "that he doubted mine eyes were bigger

than my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good,

although I had fasted all day;" and, continuing in his mirth,

protested "he would have gladly given a hundred pounds, to have

seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so

great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a

most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it

transmitted to future ages:" and the comparison of Phaeton was so

obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not

much admire the conceit.

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,

driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude

of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board

him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland,

kept our course west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till

we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very

prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it.

The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat

for provisions and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till

we came into the Downs, which was on the third day of June,.

1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my

goods in security for payment of my freight: but the captain

protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave

of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me

at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings,

which I borrowed of the captain.

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the

trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput.

I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called

aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have

gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire,

one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a

goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out

to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she

could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter

kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose,

having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to

above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by

the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one or two friends

who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I a giant. I

told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved

herself and her daughter to nothing." In short, I behaved myself so

unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he

first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as

an instance of the great power of habit and prejudice..

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right

understanding: but my wife protested "I should never go to sea

any more;" although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not

power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the

mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate

voyages..

 

 * PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNI-BARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN *

 

 

 

CHAPTER I.

 

 

[The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The

malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into

Laputa.]

I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William

Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout

ship of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been

surgeon of another ship where he was master, and a fourth part

owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more

like a brother, than an inferior officer; and, hearing of my arrival,

made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for

nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But

repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find I me in good

health, asking, "whether I were now settled for life?" adding, "that

he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months," at last he

plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of

the ship; "that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our

two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay; and

that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least

equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my

advice, as much as if I had shared in the command.".

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so

honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had

of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes,

continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained,

was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at last

obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her

children.

We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St.

George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to

refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went

to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time,

because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor

could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore, in

hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a

sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the

Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and putting

fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he

appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic,

while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising,

we were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the

east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong

gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two

pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden,

that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend

ourselves..

We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who

entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all

prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us

with strong ropes, and setting guard upon us, went to search the

sloop.

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some

authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew

us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in

his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and

thrown into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who

we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians

and Protestants, of neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that

he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This

inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings, and turning to his

companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese

language, as I suppose, often using the word CHRISTIANOS.

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese

captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came

up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great

humility, he said, "we should not die." I made the captain a very

low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, "I was sorry to

find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian." But I

had soon reason to repent those foolish words:

for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to

persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea

(which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I.

should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a

punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than

death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the

pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was

determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with

paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions; which last, the

Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and

would permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe,

while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all

the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.

About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an

observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and

longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I

discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I

set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the

nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to do, in about three

hours. It was all rocky: however I got many birds' eggs; and,

striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by which I

roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to spare my

provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter

of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and

fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But,

not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my

distresses, let it suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last

island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former..

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not

reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round,

before I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a

small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found

the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of

grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions

and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a

cave, whereof there were great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs

upon the rocks, and got a quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched

grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, and roast my eggs

as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and

burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my

provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which I

intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind

prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered

how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place,

and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless

and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could

get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far

advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly

clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it:

when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner

very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I

turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and

the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about

two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not

observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, than

if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached

nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm.

substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from

the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two

hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending

almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance.

I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover

numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which

appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I was

not able to distinguish.

The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I

was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way

or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition

I was in. But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my

astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men,

who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into

progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a

disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose

to observe what course the island would take, because it seemed

for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I

could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of

galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to

the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with

long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my

hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the

island; and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the

utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I

beheld a crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I

found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they

plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my.

shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste,

up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I

happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to

some person in authority upon this occasion.

The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the

island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest

gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance

from the height where I stood. I then put myself in the most

supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but

received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me,

seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit.

They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me.

At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect,

not unlike in sound to the Italian: and therefore I returned an

answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be

more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood the

other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the

distress I was in.

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go

towards the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island

being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a

chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to

the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys..

 

CHAPTER II.

 

 

[The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An

account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The author's

reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes.

An account of the women.]

Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but

those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They

beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder;

neither indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen

a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and

countenances. Their heads were all reclined, either to the right, or

the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up

to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the

figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven with those of

fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many

other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed,

here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown

bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they

carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of

dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With

these bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of

those who stood near them, of which practice I could not then

conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so.

taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak,

nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by

some external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for

which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep

a flapper (the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of

their domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without

him. And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more

persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the

mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to

whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise

employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon

occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always

so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of

falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every

post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself

into the kennel.

It was necessary to give the reader this information, without

which he would be at the same loss with me to understand the

proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to

the top of the island, and from thence to the royal palace. While

we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were

about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused

by their flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by the

sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of

the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more disengaged..

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of

presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on

each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a

large table filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical

instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of

us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the

concourse of all persons belonging to the court. But he was then

deep in a problem; and we attended at least an hour, before he

could solve it. There stood by him, on each side, a young page

with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one

of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at

which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and looking

towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of

our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke

some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap

came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I

made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an

instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and

the whole court, a very mean opinion of my understanding. The

king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and

I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was

found I could neither understand nor be understood, I was

conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince

being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality

to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me.

My dinner was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I

remembered to have seen very near the king's person, did me the

honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes each.

In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an.

equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a

pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed

up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes

and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The

servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and

several other mathematical figures.

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several

things in their language, and those noble persons, by the

assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping

to raise my admiration of their great abilities if I could be brought

to converse with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink,

or whatever else I wanted.

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me

by the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him

pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to

understand by signs, that he was sent to teach me the language.

We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great

number of words in columns, with the translations over against

them; I likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences; for

my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something, to

turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like.

Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in

one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the

zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the

denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names

and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general

terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I.

placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical

order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very faithful

memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which

I interpret the flying or floating island, is in the original LAPUTA,

whereof I could never learn the true etymology. LAP, in the old

obsolete language, signifies high; and UNTUH, a governor; from

which they say, by corruption, was derived LAPUTA, from

LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this derivation, which

seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the learned

among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was QUASI

LAP OUTED; LAP, signifying properly, the dancing of the

sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing; which, however, I shall

not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.

Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was

clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for

a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different

manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my

altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses,

described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all

which he entered upon paper; and in six days brought my clothes

very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a

figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I observed

such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an

indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my

dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to understand

many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of.

answers. His majesty had given orders, that the island should

move north-east and by east, to the vertical point over Lagado, the

metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. It

was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four days

and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive motion

made in the air by the island. On the second morning, about

eleven o'clock, the king himself in person, attended by his

nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical

instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission,

so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could I possibly

guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that, the

people of their island had their ears adapted to hear "the music of

the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court

was now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they

most excelled."

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty

ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and

villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his

subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let down,

with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the people

strung their petitions, which mounted up directly, like the scraps

of paper fastened by school boys at the end of the string that holds

their kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals from below,

which were drawn up by pulleys.

The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in

acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that

science, and music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their.

ideas are perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they

would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other

animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms,

ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn

from music, needless here to repeat. I observed in the king's

kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments, after

the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to his

majesty's table.

Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right

angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt

they bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and

mechanic; those instructions they give being too refined for the

intellects of their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes.

And although they are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in

the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the

common actions and behaviour of life, I have not seen a more

clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed

in their conceptions upon all other subjects, except those of

mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, and

vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of

the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy,

and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in

their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole

compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two

forementioned sciences..

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical

part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are

ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and

thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong disposition I

observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually inquiring

into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and

passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have indeed

observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians

I have known in Europe, although I could never discover the least

analogy between the two sciences; unless those people suppose,

that because the smallest circle has as many degrees as the largest,

therefore the regulation and management of the world require no

more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe; but I

rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of

human nature, inclining us to be most curious and conceited in

matters where we have least concern, and for which we are least

adapted by study or nature.

These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a

minutes peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from

causes which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their

apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the

celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual

approaches of the sun towards it, must, in course of time, be

absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun, will, by

degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more light

to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from

the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to

ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-.

thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its

perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun

(as by their calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive

a degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red

hot glowing iron, and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing

tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which,

if the earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand

miles from the nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its

passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily

spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them, will at

last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be attended

with the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive

their light from it.

They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these,

and the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly

in their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and

amusements of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the

morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how he

looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid

the stroke of the approaching comet. This conversation they are

apt to run into with the same temper that boys discover in

delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits and hobgoblins, which

they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear.

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they,

contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers,

whereof there is always a considerable number from the continent

below, attending at court, either upon affairs of the several towns.

and corporations, or their own particular occasions, but are much

despised, because they want the same endowments. Among these

the ladies choose their gallants: but the vexation is, that they act

with too much ease and security; for the husband is always so rapt

in speculation, that the mistress and lover may proceed to the

greatest familiarities before his face, if he be but provided with

paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side.

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,

although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world;

and although they live here in the greatest plenty and

magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please, they

long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis,

which they are not allowed to do without a particular license from

the king; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of

quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it is to

persuade their women to return from below. I was told that a great

court lady, who had several children,--is married to the prime

minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful

person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the

island,--went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid

herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for

her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags,

having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman,

who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken,

much against her will. And although her husband received her

with all possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she

soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the

same gallant, and has not been heard of since..

This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or

English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may

please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited

by any climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform,

than can be easily imagined.

In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in

their language, and was able to answer most of the king's

questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His majesty

discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the laws,

government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I

had been; but confined his questions to the state of mathematics,

and received the account I gave him with great contempt and

indifference, though often roused by his flapper on each side..

 

CHAPTER III.

 

 

[A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy.

The Laputians' great improvements in the latter. The king's

method of suppressing insurrections.]

I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island,

which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to

attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in

nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a

philosophical account to the reader.

The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837

yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains

ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or

under surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one

even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about

two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual

order, and over all is a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep.

The declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the

centre, is the natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall

upon the island, are conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle,

where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about half a

mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the centre.

From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in.

the daytime, which effectually prevents their overflowing.

Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island

above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling

of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the highest clouds

cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they

were never known to do so in that country.

At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in

diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome,

which is therefore called FLANDONA GAGNOLE, or the

astronomer's cave, situated at the depth of a hundred yards

beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty

lamps continually burning, which, from the reflection of the

adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The place is stored

with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes,

and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest curiosity,

upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a

prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's shuttle. It is in

length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over.

This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing

through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly

that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow

cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed

horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six

yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove

twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are

lodged, and turned round as there is occasion..

The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because

the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of

adamant which constitutes the bottom of the island.

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and

move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of

the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at

one of its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a

repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end

towards the earth, the island descends; but when the repelling

extremity points downwards, the island mounts directly upwards.

When the position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island

is so too: for in this magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel

to its direction.

By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of

the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its progress,

let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi,

let the line C D represent the loadstone, of which let D be the

repelling end, and C the attracting end, the island being over C: let

the stone be placed in position C D, with its repelling end

downwards; then the island will be driven upwards obliquely

towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its

axle, till its attracting end points towards E, and then the island

will be carried obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again

turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its

repelling point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards

F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island may

be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the stone, so as to.

make its repelling extremity to point directly downward. And

thus, by changing the situation of the stone, as often as there is

occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique

direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity

being not considerable) is conveyed from one part of the

dominions to the other.

But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the

extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of

four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large

systems concerning the stone) assign the following reason: that

the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four

miles, and that the mineral, which acts upon the stone in the

bowels of the earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant from

the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated

with the limits of the king's dominions; and it was easy, from the

great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince to bring

under his obedience whatever country lay within the attraction of

that magnet.

When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the

island stands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at

equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in

drawing downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and

consequently no motion can ensue.

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from

time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs..

They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the

celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far

excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes

do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than those of a

hundred with us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This

advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries much

further than our astronomers in Europe; for they have made a

catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours

do not contain above one third part of that number. They have

likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve

about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of

the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the

outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and

the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their

periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the

cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars; which evidently

shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that

influences the other heavenly bodies.

They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled

their periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm

it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their

observations were made public, whereby the theory of comets,

which at present is very lame and defective, might be brought to

the same perfection with other arts of astronomy..

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he

could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having

their estates below on the continent, and considering that the

office of a favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never

consent to the enslaving of their country.

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent

factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two

methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest

course is, by keeping the island hovering over such a town, and

the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of

the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the inhabitants with

dearth and diseases: and if the crime deserve it, they are at the

same time pelted from above with great stones, against which they

have no defence but by creeping into cellars or caves, while the

roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue

obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to the last

remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their heads, which

makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However,

this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom driven, neither

indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare his ministers

advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to

the people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates,

which all lie below; for the island is the king's demesne.

But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of

this country have been always averse from executing so terrible

an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town

intended to be destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it.

generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen

at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in

high spires, or pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the

bottom or under surface of the island, which, although it consist,

as I have said, of one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick,

might happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by

approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the

backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all

this the people are well apprised, and understand how far to carry

their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. And

the king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to

press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great

gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people, but,

indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case,

it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could

no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of

his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the

queen, till she is past child-bearing..

 

CHAPTER IV.

 

 

[The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at

the metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country

adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His

conversation with that lord.]

Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I

must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without

some degree of contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared

to be curious in any part of knowledge, except mathematics and

music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account very

little regarded.

On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the

island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of

those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for

which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at

the same time, so abstracted and involved in speculation, that I

never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only

with women, tradesmen, flappers, and court-pages, during two

months of my abode there; by which, at last, I rendered myself

extremely contemptible; yet these were the only people from

whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer..

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their

language: I was weary of being confined to an island where I

received so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the

first opportunity.

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for

that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned

the most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had

performed many eminent services for the crown, had great natural

and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill

an ear for music, that his detractors reported, "he had been often

known to beat time in the wrong place;" neither could his tutors,

without extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most

easy proposition in the mathematics. He was pleased to show me

many marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit, desired

to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs, the

manners and learning of the several countries where I had

travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very

wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending

him for state, but never made use of them, except at court and in

visits of ceremony, and would always command them to

withdraw, when we were alone together.

I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with

his majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he

was pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me

several offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with

expressions of the highest acknowledgment..

On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.

The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred

pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more,

together with a letter of recommendation to a friend of his in

Lagado, the metropolis. The island being then hovering over a

mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the lowest

gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up.

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying

island, passes under the general name of BALNIBARBI; and the

metropolis, as I said before, is called LAGADO. I felt some little

satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city

without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and

sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the

person's house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter

from his friend the grandee in the island, and was received with

much kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered

me an apartment in his own house, where I continued during my

stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable manner.

The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see

the town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the

houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The

people in the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and

were generally in rags. We passed through one of the town gates,

and went about three miles into the country, where I saw many

labourers working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but.

was not able to conjecture what they were about: neither did

observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the soil

appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd

appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold to desire

my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me, what

could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in

the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good

effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so

unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a

people whose countenances and habit expressed so much misery

and want.

This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been

some years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was

discharged for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with

tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible

understanding.

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants,

he made no further answer than by telling me, "that I had not been

long enough among them to form a judgment; and that the

different nations of the world had different customs;" with other

common topics to the same purpose. But, when we returned to his

palace, he asked me "how I liked the building, what absurdities I

observed, and what quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his

domestics?" This he might safely do; because every thing about

him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, "that his

excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him

from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in.

others." He said, "if I would go with him to his country-house,

about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be

more leisure for this kind of conversation." I told his excellency

"that I was entirely at his disposal;" and accordingly we set out

next morning.

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used

by farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly

unaccountable; for, except in some very few places, I could not

discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours

travelling, the scene was wholly altered; we came into a most

beautiful country; farmers' houses, at small distances, neatly built;

the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds, and

meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more delightful

prospect. His excellency observed my countenance to clear up; he

told me, with a sigh, "that there his estate began, and would

continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his

countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs

no better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which,

however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful,

and weak like himself."

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble

structure, built according to the best rules of ancient architecture.

The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all

disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to

every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not the least notice

till after supper; when, there being no third companion, he told me

with a very melancholy air "that he doubted he must throw down.

his houses in town and country, to rebuild them after the present

mode; destroy all his plantations, and cast others into such a form

as modern usage required, and give the same directions to all his

tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride,

singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase

his majesty's displeasure; that the admiration I appeared to be

under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me of some

particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the people

there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have

regard to what passed here below."

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: "That about forty

years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business

or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a

very little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits

acquired in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return,

began to dislike the management of every thing below, and fell

into schemes of putting all arts, sciences, languages, and

mechanics, upon a new foot. To this end, they procured a royal

patent for erecting an academy of projectors in Lagado; and the

humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is not a

town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an

academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new rules and

methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and

tools for all trades and manufactures; whereby, as they undertake,

one man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week,

of materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the

fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we

think fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do.

at present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only

inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to

perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country lies miserably

waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or clothes.

By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times

more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven

equally on by hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of

an enterprising spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to

live in the houses his ancestors had built, and act as they did, in

every part of life, without innovation: that some few other persons

of quality and gentry had done the same, but were looked on with

an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill

common-wealth's men, preferring their own ease and sloth before

the general improvement of their country."

His lordship added, "That he would not, by any further

particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing

the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go." He

only desired me to observe a ruined building, upon the side of a

mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this

account: "That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of

his house, turned by a current from a large river, and sufficient for

his own family, as well as a great number of his tenants; that about

seven years ago, a club of those projectors came to him with

proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the side of that

mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, for

a repository of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines to

supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated

the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and because the.

water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with half

the current of a river whose course is more upon a level." He said,

"that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by many

of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing

a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors

went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever

since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal

assurance of success, as well as equal disappointment."

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency,

considering the bad character he had in the academy, would not go

with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear

me company thither. My lord was pleased to represent me as a

great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and easy

belief; which, indeed, was not without truth; for I had myself been

a sort of projector in my younger days..

 

CHAPTER V.

 

 

[The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The

academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors

employ themselves.]

This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation

of several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste,

was purchased and applied to that use.

I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days

to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I

believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.

The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and

face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places.

His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has

been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of

cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed,

and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me,

he did not doubt, that, in eight years more, he should be able to

supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate:

but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me "to

give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially

since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers." I made him.

a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on

purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who

go to see them.

I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being

almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me

forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give no offence, which

would be highly resented;" and therefore I durst not so much as

stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient

student of the academy; his face and beard were of a pale yellow;

his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was

presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I

could well have excused. His employment, from his first coming

into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to

its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the

tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale,

and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from

the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness

of a Bristol barrel.

I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise

showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of

fire, which he intended to publish.

There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new

method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working

downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like

practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider..

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his

own condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters,

which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and

smelling. It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time

not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself

happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much

encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity.

In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who

had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the

charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an

acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a

quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables,

whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or

more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root up

the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for

sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true,

upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great,

and they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this

invention may be capable of great improvement.

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all

hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist

to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to

disturb his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had

been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of

domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they

understood how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed

further, "that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks.

should be wholly saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he

showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,

wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us "that the webs would

take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he

hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper

food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter,

to give a strength and consistence to the threads."

There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial

upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the

annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer

and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind.

I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my

conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided,

who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations

from the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a

long slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the

anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts

as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more

stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were

full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient;

then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb

strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being

repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush

out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a

pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments.

upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former.

After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent

a discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion.

The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to

recover him, by the same operation.

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader

with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being

appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I

shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person

more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told us

"he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the

improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of

wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were

condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the

nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others

softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying

the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The

artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the

first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal

virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments,

which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by

a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,

outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young

lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed

of naked sheep, all over the kingdom..

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I

have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.

The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty

pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly

upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length

and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps I might wonder to see

him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge,

by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon

be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more

noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head.

Every one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to

arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant

person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour,

might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws,

mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from

genius or study." He then led me to the frame, about the sides,

whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square,

placed in the middle of the room. The superfices was composed of

several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger

than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These

bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper pasted on

them; and on these papers were written all the words of their

language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but

without any order. The professor then desired me "to observe; for

he was going to set his engine at work." The pupils, at his

command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof

there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame; and giving.

them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was

entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads,

to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame;

and where they found three or four words together that might

make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys,

who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and

at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted

into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.

Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour;

and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio,

already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece

together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a

complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be

still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a

fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in

Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their

several collections.

He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts

from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his

frame, and made the strictest computation of the general

proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles,

nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech."

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person,

for his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the

good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him

justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form.

and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as

in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the

custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each

other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a

controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such

caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival."

We next went to the school of languages, where three professors

sat in consultation upon improving that of their own country.

The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting

polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles,

because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms.

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words

whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of

health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak

is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and,

consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An

expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names

for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about

them such things as were necessary to express a particular

business they are to discourse on." And this invention would

certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of

the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and

illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might

be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the

manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies

to science are the common people..

However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new

scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only this

inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great,

and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a

greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or

two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those

sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars

among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down their

loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour

together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume

their burdens, and take their leave.

But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his

pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his

house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company

meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand,

requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.

Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it

would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all

civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the

same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be

comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat

with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they

were utter strangers..

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his

pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The

proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin

wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. This, the student

was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days

following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested,

the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition along

with it. But the success has not hitherto been answerable, partly

by some error in the QUANTUM or composition, and partly by

the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that

they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can

operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an

abstinence, as the prescription requires..

 

CHAPTER VI.

 

 

[A further account of the academy. The author proposes some

improvements, which are honourably received.]

In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the

professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses,

which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These

unhappy people were proposing schemes for persuading

monarchs to choose favourites upon the score of their wisdom,

capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers to consult the public

good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, eminent services; of

instructing princes to know their true interest, by placing it on the

same foundation with that of their people; of choosing for

employments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other

wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart

of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old observation,

"that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some

philosophers have not maintained for truth."

But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy,

as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There

was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed

in the whole nature and system of government. This illustrious

person had very usefully employed his studies, in finding out.

effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the

several kinds of public administration are subject, by the vices or

infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of

those who are to obey. For instance: whereas all writers and

reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance

between the natural and the political body; can there be any thing

more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, and

the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed, that

senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant,

ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of the

head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with

grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but

especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums;

with scrofulous tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour

frothy ructations: with canine appetites, and crudeness of

digestion, besides many others, needless to mention.

This doctor therefore proposed, "that upon the meeting of the

senate, certain physicians should attend it the three first days of

their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the pulses of

every senator; after which, having maturely considered and

consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the

methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate

house, attended by their apothecaries stored with proper

medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of

them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents,

palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics,.

acoustics, as their several cases required; and, according as these

medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next

meeting."

This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and

might in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of

business, in those countries where senates have any share in the

legislative power; beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few

mouths which are now closed, and close many more which are

now open; curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the

positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the pert.

Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of

princes are troubled with short and weak memories; the same

doctor proposed, "that whoever attended a first minister, after

having told his business, with the utmost brevity and in the

plainest words, should, at his departure, give the said minister a

tweak by the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or

lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into his breech; or pinch

his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every

levee day, repeat the same operation, till the business were done,

or absolutely refused."

He likewise directed, "that every senator in the great council of a

nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the

defence of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary;

because if that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in

the good of the public.".

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful

contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a

hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of

such whose heads are nearest of a size; then let two nice operators

saw off the occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a

manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs,

thus cut off, be interchanged, applying each to the head of his

opposite party-man. It seems indeed to be a work that requires

some exactness, but the professor assured us, "that if it were

dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible." For he

argued thus: "that the two half brains being left to debate the

matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would

soon come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation,

as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the

heads of those, who imagine they come into the world only to

watch and govern its motion: and as to the difference of brains, in

quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the

doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that "it was a perfect

trifle."

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the

most commodious and effectual ways and means of raising

money, without grieving the subject. The first affirmed, "the

justest method would be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly;

and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated, after the fairest

manner, by a jury of his neighbours." The second was of an

opinion directly contrary; "to tax those qualities of body and

mind, for which men chiefly value themselves; the rate to be more

or less, according to the degrees of excelling; the decision.

whereof should be left entirely to their own breast." The highest

tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites of the other sex,

and the assessments, according to the number and nature of the

favours they have received; for which, they are allowed to be their

own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise

proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by

every person's giving his own word for the quantum of what he

possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they

should not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so

singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his

neighbour or value them in himself.

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty

and skill in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the

men, to be determined by their own judgment. But constancy,

chastity, good sense, and good nature, were not rated, because

they would not bear the charge of collecting.

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that

the members should raffle for employment; every man first taking

an oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the court,

whether he won or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn,

the liberty of raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and

expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of broken

promises, but impute their disappointments wholly to fortune,

whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry..

Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for

discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He

advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected

persons; their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed;

with which hand they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of

their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the

consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a

judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so

serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool, which he

found by frequent experiment; for, in such conjunctures, when he

used, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of

murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture of green; but

quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or

burning the metropolis.

The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing

many observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as

I conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the

author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some

additions. He received my proposition with more compliance than

is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species,

professing "he would be glad to receive further information."

I told him, "that in the kingdom of Tribnia, (3) by the natives

called Langdon, (4) where I had sojourned some time in my

travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of

discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors,

evidences, swearers, together with their several subservient and

subaltern instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the.

pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots, in that

kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those persons who

desire to raise their own characters of profound politicians; to

restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifle or divert

general discontents; to fill their coffers with forfeitures; and raise,

or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best answer

their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them,

what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then, effectual

care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put the

owners in chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists,

very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words,

syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool,

to signify a privy council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog,

an invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime

minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of state; a

chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a

broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a bottomless

pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a favourite; a

broken reed, a court of justice; an empty tun, a general; a running

sore, the administration. (5)

"When this method fails, they have two others more effectual,

which the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First,

they can decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus

N, shall signify a plot; B, a regiment of horse; L, a fleet at sea; or,

secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any

suspected paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a

discontented party. So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a

friend, 'Our brother Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer.

would discover, that the same letters which compose that

sentence, may be analysed into the following words, 'Resist--, a

plot is brought home--The tour.' And this is the anagrammatic

method."

The professor made me great acknowledgments for

communicating these observations, and promised to make

honourable mention of me in his treatise.

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer

continuance, and began to think of returning home to England..

 

CHAPTER VII.

 

 

[The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready.

He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the

governor.]

The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I

have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of

America westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean,

which is not above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where

there is a good port, and much commerce with the great island of

Luggnagg, situated to the north-west about 29 degrees north

latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward

of Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a

strict alliance between the Japanese emperor and the king of

Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from

one island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course

this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired two mules, with

a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small baggage. I took

leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much favour,

and made me a generous present at my departure.

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating.

When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there

was no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in.

some time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell

into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A

gentleman of distinction said to me, "that since the ships bound

for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a month, it might be

no disagreeable amusement for me to take a trip to the little island

of Glubbdubdrib, about five leagues off to the south-west." He

offered himself and a friend to accompany me, and that I should

be provided with a small convenient bark for the voyage.

Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the

island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as

the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the

head of a certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries

only among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or

governor. He has a noble palace, and a park of about three

thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet

high. In this park are several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and

gardening.

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics

of a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a

power of calling whom he pleases from the dead, and

commanding their service for twenty-four hours, but no longer;

nor can he call the same persons up again in less than three

months, except upon very extraordinary occasions.

When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the

morning, one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the

governor, and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on.

purpose to have the honour of attending on his highness. This was

immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate of the

palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a

very antic manner, and with something in their countenances that

made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express. We passed

through several apartments, between servants of the same sort,

ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of

presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few

general questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near

the lowest step of his highness's throne. He understood the

language of Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this

island. He desired me to give him some account of my travels;

and, to let me see that I should be treated without ceremony, he

dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to

my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in

a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself

in some time, till the governor assured me, "that I should receive

no hurt:" and observing my two companions to be under no

concern, who had been often entertained in the same manner, I

began to take courage, and related to his highness a short history

of my several adventures; yet not without some hesitation, and

frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen those

domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the governor,

where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at table.

I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the

morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to

excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace.

My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining,.

which is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we

returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to

command us.

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most

part of every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I

soon grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third

or fourth time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any

apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his

highness the governor ordered me "to call up whatever persons I

would choose to name, and in whatever numbers, among all the

dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and

command them to answer any questions I should think fit to ask;

with this condition, that my questions must be confined within the

compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might depend

upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was a

talent of no use in the lower world."

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great

a favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair

prospect into the park. And because my first inclination was to be

entertained with scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to

see Alexander the Great at the head of his army, just after the

battle of Arbela: which, upon a motion of the governor's finger,

immediately appeared in a large field, under the window where

we stood. Alexander was called up into the room: it was with

great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of

my own. He assured me upon his honour "that he was not

poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.".

Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me "he had not a

drop of vinegar in his camp."

I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to

engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that

the senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber,

and an assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in

another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and

demigods; the other, a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets,

highwayman, and bullies.

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus

to advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at

the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most

consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind,

the truest love of his country, and general benevolence for

mankind, in every lineament of his countenance. I observed, with

much pleasure, that these two persons were in good intelligence

with each other; and Caesar freely confessed to me, "that the

greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by many degrees,

to the glory of taking it away." I had the honour to have much

conversation with Brutus; and was told, "that his ancestor Junius,

Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and

himself were perpetually together:" a sextumvirate, to which all

the ages of the world cannot add a seventh..

It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast

numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that

insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity

placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the

destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to

oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the

satisfaction I received in my own mind, after such a manner as to

make it a suitable entertainment to the reader..

 

CHAPTER VIII.

 

 

[A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history

corrected.]

Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned

for wit and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed

that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their

commentators; but these were so numerous, that some hundreds

were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the

palace. I knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first

sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was

the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for

one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I

ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His

visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I

soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the

rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before;

and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, "that

these commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from

their principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of

shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the

meaning of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and

Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better

than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a.

genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all

patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I

presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of

the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?"

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi,

with whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This

great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in

natural philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon

conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who

had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and

the vortices of Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He

predicted the same fate to ATTRACTION, whereof the present

learned are such zealous asserters. He said, "that new systems of

nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and

even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical

principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of

vogue when that was determined."

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient

learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on

the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner,

but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of

materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth,

but I was not able to get down a second spoonful.

The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed

by their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in

seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest.

figure, for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other

countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of

old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a

dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or

nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and

unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw

in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian

prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have

too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on

so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the

like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without

some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular

features, by which certain families are distinguished, up to their

originals. I could plainly discover whence one family derives a

long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two

generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be

crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what

Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, NEC VIR FORTIS,

NEC FOEMINA CASTA; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice,

grew to be characteristics by which certain families are

distinguished as much as by their coats of arms; who first brought

the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended

scrofulous tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all

this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages,

lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains,

and pickpockets..

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly

examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes,

for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled

by prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to

cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers;

Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists;

chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and

excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by

the practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges,

and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to

the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a

share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates

might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and

buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and

integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of

great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the

contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend

to write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to

their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse

between a prince and chief minister, where no witness was by;

unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries

of state; and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I

discovered the true causes of many great events that have

surprised the world; how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the

back-stairs a council, and the council a senate. A general

confessed, in my presence, "that he got a victory purely by the

force of cowardice and ill conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for.

want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he

intended to betray the fleet." Three kings protested to me, "that in

their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,

unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they

confided; neither would they do it if they were to live again:" and

they showed, with great strength of reason, "that the royal throne

could not be supported without corruption, because that positive,

confident, restiff temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a

perpetual clog to public business."

I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what

methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of

honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a

very modern period: however, without grating upon present times,

because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for

I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend

my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great number

of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight

examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot

reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression,

subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were

among the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these

I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some

confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or

incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and

daughters; others, to the betraying of their country or their prince;

some, to poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to

destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these

discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound.

veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high

rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their

sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states,

and desired to see the persons by whom those services were

performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be

found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has

represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, I

had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected

looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them telling me, "they

died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a

gibbet."

Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little

singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his

side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a

ship; and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break

through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital

ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's

flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth standing by

him, his only son, was killed in the action." He added, "that upon

the confidence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to

Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to a

greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any

regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who had never

seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the

emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was

charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite.

page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a

poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his

life." I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired

Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He

appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more

advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or

concealed a great part of his merit.

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in

that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which

made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries,

where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where

the whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the

chief commander, who perhaps had the least title to either.

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he

had done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to

observe how much the race of human kind was degenerated

among us within these hundred years past; how the pox, under all

its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament

of an English countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced

the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow

complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and rancid.

I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old

stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the

simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their

dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love

of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after.

comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all

these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by

their grand-children; who, in selling their votes and managing at

elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can

possibly be learned in a court..

 

CHAPTER IX.

 

 

[The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of

Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The

manner of his admittance. The king's great lenity to his subjects.]

The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness,

the Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two

companions to Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's waiting, a

ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and

some others, were so generous and kind as to furnish me with

provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in this voyage.

We had one violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering

westward to get into the trade wind, which holds for above sixty

leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into the river of

Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point of

Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made

a signal for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an

hour, by whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks,

which are very dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a

fleet may ride in safety within a cable's length of the town-wall.

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had

informed the pilots "that I was a stranger, and great traveller;"

whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I.

was examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to

me in the language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much

commerce, is generally understood in that town, especially by

seamen and those employed in the customs. I gave him a short

account of some particulars, and made my story as plausible and

consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my

country, and call myself a Hollander; because my intentions were

for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans

permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer,

"that having been shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and

cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or the flying island

(of which he had often heard), and was now endeavouring to get

to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of returning to my

own country." The officer said, "I must be confined till he could

receive orders from court, for which he would write immediately,

and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight." I was carried to a

convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door; however, I

had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity

enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge. I was

invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was

reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they

had never heard.

I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an

interpreter; he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years

at Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both languages. By his

assistance, I was able to hold a conversation with those who came

to visit me; but this consisted only of their questions, and my

answers..

The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It

contained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to

TRALDRAGDUBH, or TRILDROGDRIB (for it is pronounced

both ways as near as I can remember), by a party of ten horse. All

my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded

into my service, and, at my humble request, we had each of us a

mule to ride on. A messenger was despatched half a day's journey

before us, to give the king notice of my approach, and to desire,

"that his majesty would please to appoint a day and hour, when it

would by his gracious pleasure that I might have the honour to

lick the dust before his footstool." This is the court style, and I

found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my admittance

two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my

belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my

being a stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the

dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not

allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when they desire

an admittance. Nay, sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on

purpose, when the person to be admitted happens to have

powerful enemies at court; and I have seen a great lord with his

mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the proper distance

from the throne; he was not able to speak a word. Neither is there

any remedy; because it is capital for those, who receive an

audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty's presence.

There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether

approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to

death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be

strewed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition,.

which being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours.

But in justice to this prince's great clemency, and the care he has

of his subjects' lives (wherein it were much to be wished that the

Monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be mentioned for

his honour, that strict orders are given to have the infected parts of

the floor well washed after every such execution, which, if his

domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal

displeasure. I myself heard him give directions, that one of his

pages should be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about

washing the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted

it; by which neglect a young lord of great hopes, coming to an

audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king at that

time had no design against his life. But this good prince was so

gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise

that he would do so no more, without special orders.

To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards

of the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then

striking my forehead seven times against the ground, I

pronounced the following words, as they had been taught me the

night before, INCKPLING GLOFFTHROBB SQUUT

SERUMMBLHIOP MLASHNALT ZWIN TNODBALKUFFH

SLHIOPHAD GURDLUBH ASHT. This is the compliment,

established by the laws of the land, for all persons admitted to the

king's presence. It may be rendered into English thus: "May your

celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!" To

this the king returned some answer, which, although I could not

understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: FLUFT DRIN

YALERICK DWULDOM PRASTRAD MIRPUSH, which.

properly signifies, "My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;" and

by this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my

interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was

accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I answered as

many questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke

in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my

meaning in that of Luggnagg.

The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his

BLIFFMARKLUB, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in

the court for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my

table, and a large purse of gold for my common expenses.

I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his

majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very

honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence

and justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and

family..

 

CHAPTER X.

 

 

[The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the

Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and

some eminent persons upon that subject.]

The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although

they are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to

all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to

strangers, especially such who are countenanced by the court. I

had many acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion;

and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we

had was not disagreeable.

One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of

quality, "whether I had seen any of their STRULDBRUGS, or

immortals?" I said, "I had not;" and desired he would explain to

me "what he meant by such an appellation, applied to a mortal

creature." He told me "that sometimes, though very rarely, a child

happened to be born in a family, with a red circular spot in the

forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible

mark that it should never die." The spot, as he described it, "was

about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the course of time

grew larger, and changed its colour; for at twelve years old it

became green, so continued till five and twenty, then turned to a.

deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal black, and as large as an

English shilling; but never admitted any further alteration." He

said, "these births were so rare, that he did not believe there could

be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole

kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis,

and, among the rest, a young girl born; about three years ago: that

these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere

effect of chance; and the children of the STRULDBRUGS

themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people."

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible

delight, upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me

happening to understand the Balnibarbian language, which I

spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out into expressions,

perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, "Happy

nation, where every child hath at least a chance for being

immortal! Happy people, who enjoy so many living examples of

ancient virtue, and have masters ready to instruct them in the

wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond all comparison,

are those excellent STRULDBRUGS, who, being born exempt

from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds

free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits

caused by the continual apprehensions of death!" I discovered my

admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons

at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a

distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was

impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not

provide himself with a good number of such wise and able

counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was.

too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we

often find by experience, that young men are too opinionated and

volatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors.

However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his

royal person, I was resolved, upon the very first occasion, to

deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely and at large, by the

help of my interpreter; and whether he would please to take my

advice or not, yet in one thing I was determined, that his majesty

having frequently offered me an establishment in this country, I

would, with great thankfulness, accept the favour, and pass my

life here in the conversation of those superior beings the

STRULDBRUGS, if they would please to admit me."

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I

have already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said

to me, with a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the

ignorant, "that he was glad of any occasion to keep me among

them, and desired my permission to explain to the company what I

had spoke." He did so, and they talked together for some time in

their own language, whereof I understood not a syllable, neither

could I observe by their countenances, what impression my

discourse had made on them. After a short silence, the same

person told me, "that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to

express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious

remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of

immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular

manner, what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if

it had fallen to my lot to have been born a STRULDBRUG.".

I answered, "it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and

delightful a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to

amuse myself with visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a

general, or a great lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently

run over the whole system how I should employ myself, and pass

the time, if I were sure to live for ever.

"That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a

STRULDBRUG, as soon as I could discover my own happiness,

by understanding the difference between life and death, I would

first resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure

myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I

might reasonably expect, in about two hundred years, to be the

wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, I would, from

my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arts and sciences,

by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in learning.

Lastly, I would carefully record every action and event of

consequence, that happened in the public, impartially draw the

characters of the several successions of princes and great

ministers of state, with my own observations on every point. I

would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language,

fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements,

I should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and

certainly become the oracle of the nation.

"I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable

manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in

forming and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by

convincing them, from my own remembrance, experience, and.

observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness of

virtue in public and private life. But my choice and constant

companions should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood;

among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down

to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I

would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate,

and have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of

the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would

harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your

posterity after the same manner; just as a man diverts himself with

the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without

regretting the loss of those which withered the preceding year.

"These STRULDBRUGS and I would mutually communicate our

observations and memorials, through the course of time; remark

the several gradations by which corruption steals into the world,

and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual warning and

instruction to mankind; which, added to the strong influence of

our own example, would probably prevent that continual

degeneracy of human nature so justly complained of in all ages.

"Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of

states and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world;

ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of

kings; famous rivers lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean

leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming another; the discovery

of many countries yet unknown; barbarity overrunning the

politest nations, and the most barbarous become civilized. I.

should then see the discovery of the longitude, the perpetual

motion, the universal medicine, and many other great inventions,

brought to the utmost perfection.

"What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by

outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observing the

progress and return of comets, with the changes of motion in the

sun, moon, and stars!"

I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of

endless life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me

with. When I had ended, and the sum of my discourse had been

interpreted, as before, to the rest of the company, there was a good

deal of talk among them in the language of the country, not

without some laughter at my expense. At last, the same gentleman

who had been my interpreter, said, "he was desired by the rest to

set me right in a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the

common imbecility of human nature, and upon that allowance

was less answerable for them. That this breed of

STRULDBRUGS was peculiar to their country, for there were no

such people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the

honour to be ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives

in both those kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was

possible: and it appeared from my astonishment when he first

mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly

new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms above

mentioned, where, during his residence, he had conversed very

much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and wish of

mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold.

back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still

hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest

evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only in

this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager,

from the continual example of the STRULDBRUGS before their

eyes.

"That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and

unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and

vigour, which no man could be so foolish to hope, however

extravagant he may be in his wishes. That the question therefore

was not, whether a man would choose to be always in the prime of

youth, attended with prosperity and health; but how he would pass

a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages which old age

brings along with it. For although few men will avow their desires

of being immortal, upon such hard conditions, yet in the two

kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed

that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let it

approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who died

willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or

torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had

travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same general

disposition."

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the

STRULDBRUGS among them. He said, "they commonly acted

like mortals till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees,

they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they

came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for.

otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born

in an age, they were too few to form a general observation by.

When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned the

extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the follies

and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from

the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only

opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but

incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which

never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and impotent

desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against

which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the

younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the

former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of

pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine

that others have gone to a harbour of rest to which they

themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no remembrance

of anything but what they learned and observed in their youth and

middle-age, and even that is very imperfect; and for the truth or

particulars of any fact, it is safer to depend on common tradition,

than upon their best recollections. The least miserable among

them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their

memories; these meet with more pity and assistance, because they

want many bad qualities which abound in others.

"If a STRULDBRUG happen to marry one of his own kind, the

marriage is dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom,

as soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the

law thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that those who are.

condemned, without any fault of their own, to a perpetual

continuance in the world, should not have their misery doubled by

the load of a wife.

"As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they

are looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to

their estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support;

and the poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that

period, they are held incapable of any employment of trust or

profit; they cannot purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they

allowed to be witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not

even for the decision of meers and bounds.

"At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no

distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get,

without relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still

continue, without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they

forget the common appellation of things, and the names of

persons, even of those who are their nearest friends and relations.

For the same reason, they never can amuse themselves with

reading, because their memory will not serve to carry them from

the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this defect, they are

deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise

be capable.

The language of this country being always upon the flux, the

STRULDBRUGS of one age do not understand those of another;

neither are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any.

conversation (farther than by a few general words) with their

neighbours the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage

of living like foreigners in their own country."

This was the account given me of the STRULDBRUGS, as near

as I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages,

the youngest not above two hundred years old, who were brought

to me at several times by some of my friends; but although they

were told, "that I was a great traveller, and had seen all the world,"

they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question; only desired

"I would give them SLUMSKUDASK," or a token of

remembrance; which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the

law, that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the

public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance.

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of

them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded

very particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the

register, which, however, has not been kept above a thousand

years past, or at least has been destroyed by time or public

disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are, is

by asking them what kings or great persons they can remember,

and then consulting history; for infallibly the last prince in their

mind did not begin his reign after they were four-score years old.

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the

women more horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities

in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in

proportion to their number of years, which is not to be described;.

and among half a dozen, I soon distinguished which was the

eldest, although there was not above a century or two between

them.

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen,

my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew

heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and

thought no tyrant could invent a death into which I would not run

with pleasure, from such a life. The king heard of all that had

passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied

me very pleasantly; wishing I could send a couple of

STRULDBRUGS to my own country, to arm our people against

the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by the

fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well

content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.

I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the

STRULDBRUGS were founded upon the strongest reasons, and

such as any other country would be under the necessity of

enacting, in the like circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the

necessary consequence of old age, those immortals would in time

become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil

power, which, for want of abilities to manage, must end in the ruin

of the public..

 

CHAPTER XI.

 

 

[The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he

returns in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to

England.]

I thought this account of the STRULDBRUGS might be some

entertainment to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of

the common way; at least I do not remember to have met the like

in any book of travels that has come to my hands: and if I am

deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary for travellers

who describe the same country, very often to agree in dwelling on

the same particulars, without deserving the censure of having

borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote before them.

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and

the great empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the

Japanese authors may have given some account of the

STRULDBRUGS; but my stay in Japan was so short, and I was so

entirely a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to

make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will

be curious and able enough to supply my defects..

His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment

in his court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my

native country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and

honoured me with a letter of recommendation, under his own

hand, to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise presented me with

four hundred and forty-four large pieces of gold (this nation

delighting in even numbers), and a red diamond, which I sold in

England for eleven hundred pounds.

On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and

all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to

conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west

part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry

me to Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage.

We landed at a small port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the

south-east part of Japan; the town lies on the western point, where

there is a narrow strait leading northward into along arm of the

sea, upon the north-west part of which, Yedo, the metropolis,

stands. At landing, I showed the custom-house officers my letter

from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the

seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my hand. The

impression was, A KING LIFTING UP A LAME BEGGAR

FROM THE EARTH. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my

letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with

carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was

admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was

opened with great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an

interpreter, who then gave me notice, by his majesty's order, "that.

I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, it should be

granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg." This

interpreter was a person employed to transact affairs with the

Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my countenance, that I was a

European, and therefore repeated his majesty's commands in Low

Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had before

determined, "that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very

remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and land to

Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my

countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an

opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly

entreated his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted

in safety to Nangasac." To this I added another petition, "that for

the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would

condescend to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on

my countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix: because I had

been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any

intention of trading." When this latter petition was interpreted to

the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, "he believed I

was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in this

point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander,

or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for

the reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of

Luggnagg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply

with the singularity of my humour; but the affair must be managed

with dexterity, and his officers should be commanded to let me

pass, as it were by forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the

secret should be discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they

would cut my throat in the voyage." I returned my thanks, by the.

interpreter, for so unusual a favour; and some troops being at that

time on their march to Nangasac, the commanding officer had

orders to convey me safe thither, with particular instructions about

the business of the crucifix.

On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very

long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of

some Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a

stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my

studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew

whence I came last: they were curious to inquire into my voyages

and course of life. I made up a story as short and probable as I

could, but concealed the greatest part. I knew many persons in

Holland. I was able to invent names for my parents, whom I

pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I

would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he

pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I was

a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on

condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before

we took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether

I had performed the ceremony above mentioned? I evaded the

question by general answers; "that I had satisfied the Emperor and

court in all particulars." However, a malicious rogue of a skipper

went to an officer, and pointing to me, told him, "I had not yet

trampled on the crucifix;" but the other, who had received

instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes on the

shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more troubled with

such questions..

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed

with a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to

take in fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at

Amsterdam, having lost only three men by sickness in the voyage,

and a fourth, who fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from

the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for

England, in a small vessel belonging to that city.

On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next

morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence

of five years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff,

where I arrived the same day at two in the afternoon, and found

my wife and family in good health..

 

 * PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS *

 

 

 

CHAPTER I.

 

 

[The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against

him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in

an unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a

strange sort of animal, described. The author meets two

Houyhnhnms.]

I continued at home with my wife and children about five months,

in a very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of

knowing when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and

accepted an advantageous offer made me to be captain of the

Adventurer, a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood

navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon's

employment at sea, which, however, I could exercise upon

occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one Robert

Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th

day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock,

of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to

cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I

heard since my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped

but one cabin boy. He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a

little too positive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his.

destruction, as it has been with several others; for if he had

followed my advice, he might have been safe at home with his

family at this time, as well as myself.

I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was

forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands,

where I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed

me; which I had soon too much cause to repent: for I found

afterwards, that most of them had been buccaneers. I had fifty

hands onboard; and my orders were, that I should trade with the

Indians in the South-Sea, and make what discoveries I could.

These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched my other men,

and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and secure me;

which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and binding

me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered

to stir. I told them, "I was their prisoner, and would submit." This

they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only

fastening one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a

sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to

shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own

victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship to

themselves. Their design was to turn pirates and, plunder the

Spaniards, which they could not do till they got more men. But

first they resolved to sell the goods the ship, and then go to

Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died since

my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the

Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close

prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be

murdered, as they often threatened me..

Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to

my cabin, and said, "he had orders from the captain to set me

ashore." I expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so

much as tell me who their new captain was. They forced me into

the long-boat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which

were as good as new, and take a small bundle of linen, but no

arms, except my hanger; and they were so civil as not to search

my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with some

other little necessaries. They rowed about a league, and then set

me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it

was. They all swore, "they knew no more than myself;" but said,

"that the captain" (as they called him) "was resolved, after they

had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they

could discover land." They pushed off immediately, advising me

to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade

me farewell.

In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon

firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and

consider what I had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went

up into the country, resolving to deliver myself to the first savages

I should meet, and purchase my life from them by some bracelets,

glass rings, and other toys, which sailors usually provide

themselves with in those voyages, and whereof I had some about

me. The land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly

planted, but naturally growing; there was great plenty of grass,

and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for fear of

being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or.

on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracts of

human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld

several animals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting

in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a

little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to

observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place

where I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their

form. Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair,

some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a

long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs

and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might see

their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails,

nor any hair at all on their buttocks, except about the anus, which,

I presume, nature had placed there to defend them as they sat on

the ground, for this posture they used, as well as lying down, and

often stood on their hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly

as a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and

behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would

often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious agility. The

females were not so large as the males; they had long lank hair on

their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more than a sort

of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and

pudenda. The dugs hung between their fore feet, and often

reached almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of both

sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon

the whole, I never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an

animal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong an

antipathy. So that, thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt

and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it.

might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not got far,

when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and coming up

directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted

several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as at an

object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up

his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell;

but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side

of it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants

might be provoked against me, if they should come to know that I

had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the

smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least

forty came flocking about me from the next field, howling and

making odious faces; but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning

my back against it, kept them off by waving my hanger. Several of

this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, leaped up

into the tree, whence they began to discharge their excrements on

my head; however, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the

stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth, which fell

about me on every side.

In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a

sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree

and pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them

into this fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse

walking softly in the field; which my persecutors having sooner

discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a little,

when he came near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full

in my face with manifest tokens of wonder; he viewed my hands

and feet, walking round me several times. I would have pursued.

my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking

with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We

stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the

boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to

stroke it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when

they are going to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed

to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his

brows, softly raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand.

Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a cadence,

that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself, in some

language of his own.

While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who

applying himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently

struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by

turns, and varying the sound, which seemed to be almost

articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to confer

together, walking side by side, backward and forward, like

persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning

their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape.

I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute beasts;

and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country

were endued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must

needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so

much comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover

some house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the

two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first,

who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after

me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand.

what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to

expect his farther commands: but concealing my fear as much as I

could, for I began to be in some pain how this adventure might

terminate; and the reader will easily believe I did not much like

my present situation.

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great

earnestness upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my

hat all round with his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much

that I was forced to adjust it better by taking it off and settling it

again; whereat, both he and his companion (who was a brown

bay) appeared to be much surprised: the latter felt the lappet of my

coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, they both looked with

new signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seeming to

admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed it so hard

between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after

which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They

were under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which

they felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various

gestures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he would

attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon.

Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly

and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they

must needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed

themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger in the way,

resolved to divert themselves with him; or, perhaps, were really

amazed at the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature,

and complexion, from those who might probably live in so remote.

a climate. Upon the strength of this reasoning, I ventured to

address them in the following manner: "Gentlemen, if you be

conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you can understand my

language; therefore I make bold to let your worships know that I

am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes upon

your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back,

as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be

relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of

this knife and bracelet," taking them out of my pocket. The two

creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great

attention, and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards

each other, as if they were engaged in serious conversation. I

plainly observed that their language expressed the passions very

well, and the words might, with little pains, be resolved into an

alphabet more easily than the Chinese.

I could frequently distinguish the word YAHOO, which was

repeated by each of them several times: and although it was

impossible for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the two

horses were busy in conversation, I endeavoured to practise this

word upon my tongue; and as soon as they were silent, I boldly

pronounced YAHOO in a loud voice, imitating at the same time,

as near as I could, the neighing of a horse; at which they were both

visibly surprised; and the gray repeated the same word twice, as if

he meant to teach me the right accent; wherein I spoke after him

as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every

time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the bay

tried me with a second word, much harder to be pronounced; but

reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt thus,.

HOUYHNHNM. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former;

but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune; and they

both appeared amazed at my capacity.

After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might

relate to me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same

compliment of striking each other's hoof; and the gray made me

signs that I should walk before him; wherein I thought it prudent

to comply, till I could find a better director. When I offered to

slacken my pace, he would cry HHUUN HHUUN: I guessed his

meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as I could, "that I

was weary, and not able to walk faster;" upon which he would

stand awhile to let me rest..

 

CHAPTER II.

 

 

[The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house

described. The author's reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms.

The author in distress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His

manner of feeding in this country.]

Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of

building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across;

the roof was low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little

comforted; and took out some toys, which travellers usually carry

for presents to the savage Indians of America, and other parts, in

hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to

receive me kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was

a large room with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger,

extending the whole length on one side. There were three nags

and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon

their hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more

to see the rest employed in domestic business; these seemed but

ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a

people who could so far civilise brute animals, must needs excel

in wisdom all the nations of the world..

The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill

treatment which the others might have given me. He neighed to

them several times in a style of authority, and received answers.

Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of

the house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to

each other, in the manner of a vista. We went through the second

room towards the third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning

me to attend: I waited in the second room, and got ready my

presents for the master and mistress of the house; they were two

knives, three bracelets of false pearls, a small looking-glass, and a

bead necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited

to hear some answers in a human voice, but I heard no other

returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller

than his. I began to think that this house must belong to some

person of great note among them, because there appeared so much

ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a man of

quality should be served all by horses, was beyond my

comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings

and misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the

room where I was left alone: this was furnished like the first, only

after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same

objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake

myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded,

that all these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy

and magic. But I had no time to pursue these reflections; for the

gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him.

into the third room where I saw a very comely mare, together with

a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats of straw, not

unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.

The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming

up close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave

me a most contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard

the word YAHOO often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of

which word I could not then comprehend, although it was the first

I had learned to pronounce. But I was soon better informed, to my

everlasting mortification; for the horse, beckoning to me with his

head, and repeating the HHUUN, HHUUN, as he did upon the

road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out into a kind

of court, where was another building, at some distance from the

house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable

creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots,

and the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that

of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or

disease. They were all tied by the neck with strong withes

fastened to a beam; they held their food between the claws of their

fore feet, and tore it with their teeth.

The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie

the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast

and I were brought close together, and by our countenances

diligently compared both by master and servant, who thereupon

repeated several times the word YAHOO. My horror and

astonishment are not to be described, when I observed in this

abominable animal, a perfect human figure: the face of it indeed.

was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and the

mouth wide; but these differences are common to all savage

nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted, by

the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or

by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face against

the mothers' shoulders. The fore-feet of the YAHOO differed from

my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the coarseness

and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs. There

was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same

differences; which I knew very well, though the horses did not,

because of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our

bodies except as to hairiness and colour, which I have already

described.

The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was

to see the rest of my body so very different from that of a

YAHOO, for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had

no conception. The sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held

(after their manner, as we shall describe in its proper place)

between his hoof and pastern; I took it in my hand, and, having

smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought

out of the YAHOOS' kennel a piece of ass's flesh; but it smelt so

offensively that I turned from it with loathing: he then threw it to

the YAHOO, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards

showed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook

my head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And

indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did

not get to some of my own species; for as to those filthy

YAHOOS, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at.

that time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive

being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I came near

them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country.

This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore

sent the YAHOO back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to

his mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with

ease, and with a motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made

other signs, to know what I would eat; but I could not return him

such an answer as he was able to apprehend; and if he had

understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any

way for finding myself nourishment. While we were thus

engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her,

and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect; for

he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open

a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden

vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a

large bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself

well refreshed.

About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle

drawn like a sledge by four YAHOOS. There was in it an old

steed, who seemed to be of quality; he alighted with his hind-feet

forward, having by accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He

came to dine with our horse, who received him with great civility.

They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for the

second course, which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold.

Their mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and

divided into several partitions, round which they sat on their

haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large rack,.

with angles answering to every partition of the manger; so that

each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their own mash of oats

and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the

young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master

and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest.

The gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed

between him and his friend concerning me, as I found by the

stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the

word YAHOO.

I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing,

seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done

to my fore-feet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if

he would signify, that I should reduce them to their former shape,

which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting

them into my pocket. This occasioned farther talk; and I saw the

company was pleased with my behaviour, whereof I soon found

the good effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I

understood; and while they were at dinner, the master taught me

the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others, which I

could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a great

facility in learning languages.

When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by

signs and words made me understand the concern he was in that I

had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are called HLUNNH.

This word I pronounced two or three times; for although I had

refused them at first, yet, upon second thoughts, I considered that

I could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might be.

sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive, till I could make my

escape to some other country, and to creatures of my own species.

The horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of his family

to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray. These

I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the

husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the grain. I

ground and beat them between two stones; then took water, and

made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat

warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common

enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and

having been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the

first experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I

cannot but observe, that I never had one hours sickness while I

stayed in this island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a

rabbit, or bird, by springs made of YAHOO'S hairs; and I often

gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with

my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and

drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom

soon reconciled me to the want of it; and I am confident that the

frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first

introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it is

necessary for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in places

remote from great markets; for we observe no animal to be fond

of it but man, and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a

great while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I

ate..

This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other

travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally

concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary

to mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible

that I could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and

among such inhabitants.

When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place

for me to lodge in; it was but six yards from the house and

separated from the stable of the YAHOOS. Here I got some straw,

and covering myself with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I

was in a short time better accommodated, as the reader shall know

hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly about my way of

living..

 

CHAPTER III.

 

 

[The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his

master, assists in teaching him. The language described. Several

Houyhnhnms of quality come out of curiosity to see the author.

He gives his master a short account of his voyage.]

My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my

master (for so I shall henceforth call him), and his children, and

every servant of his house, were desirous to teach me; for they

looked upon it as a prodigy, that a brute animal should discover

such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to every thing, and

inquired the name of it, which I wrote down in my journal-book

when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent by desiring those

of the family to pronounce it often. In this employment, a sorrel

nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready to assist me.

In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and

their language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German,

of any I know in Europe; but is much more graceful and

significant. The emperor Charles V. made almost the same

observation, when he said "that if he were to speak to his horse, it

should be in High-Dutch.".

The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he

spent many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced

(as he afterwards told me) that I must be a YAHOO; but my

teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which

were qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He was most

perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself,

whether they were a part of my body: for I never pulled them off

till the family were asleep, and got them on before they waked in

the morning. My master was eager to learn "whence I came; how I

acquired those appearances of reason, which I discovered in all

my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth, which he

hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in

learning and pronouncing their words and sentences." To help my

memory, I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ

the words down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I

ventured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble to

explain to him what I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the

least idea of books or literature.

In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his

questions; and in three months, could give him some tolerable

answers. He was extremely curious to know "from what part of

the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational

creature; because the YAHOOS (whom he saw I exactly

resembled in my head, hands, and face, that were only visible),

with some appearance of cunning, and the strongest disposition to

mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes."

I answered, "that I came over the sea, from a far place, with many

others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the.

bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to land on this

coast, and then left me to shift for myself." It was with some

difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to

understand me. He replied, "that I must needs be mistaken, or that

I said the thing which was not;" for they have no word in their

language to express lying or falsehood. "He knew it was

impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a

parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased

upon water. He was sure no HOUYHNHNM alive could make

such a vessel, nor would trust YAHOOS to manage it."

The word HOUYHNHNM, in their tongue, signifies a HORSE,

and, in its etymology, the PERFECTION OF NATURE. I told my

master, "that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as

fast as I could; and hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell

him wonders." He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt,

and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of

instructing me; and every day, for two or three hours, he was at

the same pains himself. Several horses and mares of quality in the

neighbourhood came often to our house, upon the report spread of

"a wonderful YAHOO, that could speak like a HOUYHNHNM,

and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some

glimmerings of reason." These delighted to converse with me:

they put many questions, and received such answers as I was able

to return. By all these advantages I made so great a progress, that,

in five months from my arrival I understood whatever was

spoken, and could express myself tolerably well..

The HOUYHNHNMS, who came to visit my master out of a

design of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to

be a right YAHOO, because my body had a different covering

from others of my kind. They were astonished to observe me

without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands;

but I discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which

happened about a fortnight before.

I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family

were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself

with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master

sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his valet. When he came I

was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt

above my waist. I awaked at the noise he made, and observed him

to deliver his message in some disorder; after which he went to

my master, and in a great fright gave him a very confused account

of what he had seen. This I presently discovered, for, going as

soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour, he

asked me "the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I

was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to be at other

times; that his vale assured him, some part of me was white, some

yellow, at least not so white, and some brown."

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to

distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of

YAHOOS; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides,

I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out,

which already were in a declining condition, and must be supplied

by some contrivance from the hides of YAHOOS, or other brutes;.

whereby the whole secret would be known. I therefore told my

master, "that in the country whence I came, those of my kind

always covered their bodies with the hairs of certain animals

prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies

of air, both hot and cold; of which, as to my own person, I would

give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to command me:

only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature

taught us to conceal." He said, "my discourse was all very strange,

but especially the last part; for he could not understand, why

nature should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that

neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their

bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased." Whereupon I first

unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my

waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my

shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom; fastening it like a

girdle about my middle, to hide my nakedness.

My master observed the whole performance with great signs of

curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern,

one piece after another, and examined them diligently; he then

stroked my body very gently, and looked round me several times;

after which, he said, it was plain I must be a perfect YAHOO; but

that I differed very much from the rest of my species in the

softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin; my want of hair

in several parts of my body; the shape and shortness of my claws

behind and before; and my affectation of walking continually on

my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave

to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold..

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the

appellation of YAHOO, an odious animal, for which I had so utter

a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that

word to me, and make the same order in his family and among his

friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, "that the

secret of my having a false covering to my body, might be known

to none but himself, at least as long as my present clothing should

last; for as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his

honour might command him to conceal it."

All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the

secret was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was

forced to supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be

mentioned. In the meantime, he desired "I would go on with my

utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was more

astonished at my capacity for speech and reason, than at the figure

of my body, whether it were covered or not;" adding, "that he

waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which I

promised to tell him."

Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me:

he brought me into all company, and made them treat me with

civility; "because," as he told them, privately, "this would put me

into good humour, and make me more diverting."

Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in

teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself,

which I answered as well as I could, and by these means he had

already received some general ideas, though very imperfect. It.

would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I advanced

to a more regular conversation; but the first account I gave of

myself in any order and length was to this purpose:

"That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to

tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we

travelled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood,

and larger than his honour's house. I described the ship to him in

the best terms I could, and explained, by the help of my

handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the wind.

That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this coast,

where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till he

delivered me from the persecution of those execrable YAHOOS."

He asked me, "who made the ship, and how it was possible that

the HOUYHNHNMS of my country would leave it to the

management of brutes?" My answer was, "that I durst proceed no

further in my relation, unless he would give me his word and

honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him

the wonders I had so often promised." He agreed; and I went on

by assuring him, that the ship was made by creatures like myself;

who, in all the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own,

were the only governing rational animals; and that upon my

arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the

HOUYHNHNMS act like rational beings, as he, or his friends,

could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was

pleased to call a YAHOO; to which I owned my resemblance in

every part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal

nature. I said farther, "that if good fortune ever restored me to my

native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,.

everybody would believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I

invented the story out of my own head; and (with all possible

respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his promise

of not being offended) our countrymen would hardly think it

probable that a HOUYHNHNM should be the presiding creature

of a nation, and a YAHOO the brute.".

 

CHAPTER IV.

 

 

[The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's

discourse disapproved by his master. The author gives a more

particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.]

My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his

countenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so little

known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to

behave themselves under such circumstances. And I remember, in

frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of

manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of

lying and false representation, it was with much difficulty that he

comprehended what I meant, although he had otherwise a most

acute judgment. For he argued thus: "that the use of speech was to

make us understand one another, and to receive information of

facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends

were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand

him; and I am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me

worse than in ignorance; for I am led to believe a thing black,

when it is white, and short, when it is long." And these were all

the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly

well understood, and so universally practised, among human

creatures..

To return from this digression. When I asserted that the YAHOOS

were the only governing animals in my country, which my master

said was altogether past his conception, he desired to know,

"whether we had HOUYHNHNMS among us, and what was their

employment?" I told him, "we had great numbers; that in summer

they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses with

hay and oats, where YAHOO servants were employed to rub their

skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with

food, and make their beds." "I understand you well," said my

master: "it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that

whatever share of reason the YAHOOS pretend to, the

HOUYHNHNMS are your masters; I heartily wish our YAHOOS

would be so tractable." I begged "his honour would please to

excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very

certain that the account he expected from me would be highly

displeasing." But he insisted in commanding me to let him know

the best and the worst.

I told him "he should be obeyed." I owned "that the

HOUYHNHNMS among us, whom we called horses, were the

most generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in

strength and swiftness; and when they belonged to persons of

quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots;

they were treated with much kindness and care, till they fell into

diseases, or became foundered in the feet; but then they were sold,

and used to all kind of drudgery till they died; after which their

skins were stripped, and sold for what they were worth, and their

bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the

common race of horses had not so good fortune, being kept by.

farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to

greater labour, and fed them worse." I described, as well as I

could, our way of riding; the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a

spur, and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added, "that we

fastened plates of a certain hard substance, called iron, at the

bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by

the stony ways, on which we often travelled."

My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered

"how we dared to venture upon a HOUYHNHNM'S back; for he

was sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to

shake off the strongest YAHOO; or by lying down and rolling on

his back, squeeze the brute to death." I answered "that our horses

were trained up, from three or four years old, to the several uses

we intended them for; that if any of them proved intolerably

vicious, they were employed for carriages; that they were severely

beaten, while they were young, for any mischievous tricks; that

the males, designed for the common use of riding or draught, were

generally castrated about two years after their birth, to take down

their spirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were

indeed sensible of rewards and punishments; but his honour

would please to consider, that they had not the least tincture of

reason, any more than the YAHOOS in this country."

It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master

a right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in

variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than

among us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at

our savage treatment of the HOUYHNHNM race; particularly.

after I had explained the manner and use of castrating horses

among us, to hinder them from propagating their kind, and to

render them more servile. He said, "if it were possible there could

be any country where YAHOOS alone were endued with reason,

they certainly must be the governing animal; because reason in

time will always prevail against brutal strength. But, considering

the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no

creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for employing that

reason in the common offices of life;" whereupon he desired to

know whether those among whom I lived resembled me, or the

YAHOOS of his country?" I assured him, "that I was as well

shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the females, were

much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as

white as milk." He said, "I differed indeed from other YAHOOS,

being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but, in

point of real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that

my nails were of no use either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my

fore feet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he

never observed me to walk upon them; that they were too soft to

bear the ground; that I generally went with them uncovered;

neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same

shape, or so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk

with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must

inevitably fail." He then began to find fault with other parts of my

body: "the flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine

eyes placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side

without turning my head: that I was not able to feed myself,

without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth: and therefore

nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity. He knew.

not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions in

my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and

sharpness of stones, without a covering made from the skin of

some other brute; that my whole body wanted a fence against heat

and cold, which I was forced to put on and off every day, with

tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal

in this country naturally to abhor the YAHOOS, whom the weaker

avoided, and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us

to have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to

cure that natural antipathy, which every creature discovered

against us; nor consequently how we could tame and render them

serviceable. However, he would," as he said, "debate the matter

no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own story,

the country where I was born, and the several actions and events

of my life, before I came hither."

I assured him, "how extremely desirous I was that he should be

satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be

possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his

honour could have no conception; because I saw nothing in his

country to which I could resemble them; that, however, I would

do my best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly

desiring his assistance when I wanted proper words;" which he

was pleased to promise me.

I said, "my birth was of honest parents, in an island called

England; which was remote from his country, as many days'

journey as the strongest of his honour's servants could travel in the

annual course of the sun; that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it.

is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or

violence; that my country was governed by a female man, whom

we called queen; that I left it to get riches, whereby I might

maintain myself and family, when I should return; that, in my last

voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had about fifty

YAHOOS under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced

to supply them by others picked out from several nations; that our

ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great

storm, and the second by striking against a rock." Here my master

interposed, by asking me, "how I could persuade strangers, out of

different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had

sustained, and the hazards I had run?" I said, "they were fellows of

desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on

account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by

lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and

gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning,

robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money, for committing

rapes, or sodomy; for flying from their colours, or deserting to the

enemy; and most of them had broken prison; none of these durst

return to their native countries, for fear of being hanged, or of

starving in a jail; and therefore they were under the necessity of

seeking a livelihood in other places."

During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me

several times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in

describing to him the nature of the several crimes for which most

of our crew had been forced to fly their country. This labour took

up several days' conversation, before he was able to comprehend

me. He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or.

necessity of practising those vices. To clear up which, I

endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and riches;

of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All

this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and

making suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination

was struck with something never seen or heard of before, he

would lift up his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power,

government, war, law, punishment, and a thousand other things,

had no terms wherein that language could express them, which

made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master any

conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent

understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse,

he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human nature,

in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I

would give him some particular account of that land which we

call Europe, but especially of my own country..

 

CHAPTER V.

 

 

[The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of

England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The

author begins to explain the English constitution.]

The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of

many conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of

the most material points which were discoursed at several times

for above two years; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction,

as I farther improved in the HOUYHNHNM tongue. I laid before

him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of

trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I

gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several

subjects, were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I

shall here only set down the substance of what passed between us

concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can,

without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly

adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to

do justice to my master's arguments and expressions, which must

needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation

into our barbarous English..

In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to

him the Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with

France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his

successor, the present queen, wherein the greatest powers of

Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I

computed, at his request, "that about a million of YAHOOS might

have been killed in the whole progress of it; and perhaps a

hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many ships burnt

or sunk."

He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made

one country go to war with another?" I answered "they were

innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief.

Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have

land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of

ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or

divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration.

Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for

instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the

juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a

vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into

the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white,

red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or

wide, dirty or clean; with many more.

Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a

continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion,

especially if it be in things indifferent..

"Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of

them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of

them pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with

another for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a

war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong; and

sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours

want the things which we have, or have the things which we want,

and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very

justifiable cause of a war, to invade a country after the people

have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or

embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter

into war against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies

convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our

dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a

nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully

put half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to

civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is

a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince

desires the assistance of another, to secure him against an

invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the invader,

should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or

banish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or

marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the

nearer the kindred is, the greater their disposition to quarrel; poor

nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and

hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a

soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a soldier

is a YAHOO hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own

species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can..

"There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able

to make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer

nations, for so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths

to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance:

such are those in many northern parts of Europe."

"What you have told me," said my master, "upon the subject of

war, does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that

reason you pretend to: however, it is happy that the shame is

greater than the danger; and that nature has left you utterly

incapable of doing much mischief. For, your mouths lying flat

with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to any purpose,

unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and

behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our YAHOOS

would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in

recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I

cannot but think you have said the thing which is not."

I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his

ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a

description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols,

bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks,

undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk

with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying

groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling

to death under horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed

with carcases, left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey;

plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to.

set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him,

"that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a

siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop

down in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the

spectators."

I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded

me silence. He said, "whoever understood the nature of

YAHOOS, might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to

be capable of every action I had named, if their strength and

cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased

his abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a

disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a stranger before.

He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might,

by degrees, admit them with less detestation: that although he

hated the YAHOOS of this country, yet he no more blamed them

for their odious qualities, than he did a GNNAYH (a bird of prey)

for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a

creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities,

he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than

brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of

reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase

our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns

the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but more

distorted.".

He added, "that he had heard too much upon the subject of war,

both in this and some former discourses. There was another point,

which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that

some of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by

law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word; but he

was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was

intended for every man's preservation, should be any man's ruin.

Therefore he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law,

and the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my

own country; because he thought nature and reason were

sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in

showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid."

I assured his honour, "that the law was a science in which I had

not much conversed, further than by employing advocates, in

vain, upon some injustices that had been done me: however, I

would give him all the satisfaction I was able."

I said, "there was a society of men among us, bred up from their

youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose,

that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid.

To this society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example,

if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove

that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to

defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man

should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who

am the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my

lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in defending

falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an.

advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always

attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second

disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution,

or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his

brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And

therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is,

to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will

then betray his client by insinuating that he hath justice on his

side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear

as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my

adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak

the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that these

judges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of

property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from

the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy; and

having been biassed all their lives against truth and equity, lie

under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and

oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large bribe

from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by

doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office.

"It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done

before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special

care to record all the decisions formerly made against common

justice, and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name

of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most

iniquitous opinions; and the judges never fail of directing

accordingly..

"In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the

cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all

circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the

case already mentioned; they never desire to know what claim or

title my adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were

red or black; her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her

in be round or square; whether she was milked at home or abroad;

what diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they

consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in

ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue.

"It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant

and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and

wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to

multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence

of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take

thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors

for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred

miles off.

"In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the

method is much more short and commendable: the judge first

sends to sound the disposition of those in power, after which he

can easily hang or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due

forms of law."

Here my master interposing, said, "it was a pity, that creatures

endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers,

by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not.

rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and

knowledge." In answer to which I assured his honour, "that in all

points out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant

and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common

conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and

equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankind in

every other subject of discourse as in that of their own

profession.".

 

CHAPTER VI.

 

 

[A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The

character of a first minister of state in European courts.]

My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives

could incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary

themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for

the sake of injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he

comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire.

Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of

money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals;

"that when a YAHOO had got a great store of this precious

substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to; the

finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most

costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful

females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all

these feats, our YAHOOS thought they could never have enough

of it to spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from

their natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man

enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a

thousand to one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our

people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for

small wages, to make a few live plentifully.".

I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to

the same purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went

upon a supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the

productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over

the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, "what these

costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?"

Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as came into my head,

with the various methods of dressing them, which could not be

done without sending vessels by sea to every part of the world, as

well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innumerable other

conveniences. I assured him "that this whole globe of earth must

be at least three times gone round before one of our better female

YAHOOS could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in." He said

"that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish

food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was,

how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly

without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending

over the sea for drink." I replied "that England (the dear place of

my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of

food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as

liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain

trees, which made excellent drink, and the same proportion in

every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury

and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we

sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other

countries, whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases,

folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of

necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek.

their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping,

flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying,

fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning,

whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like

occupations:" every one of which terms I was at much pains to

make him understand.

"That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to

supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort

of liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses,

diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant

imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears,

suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the

use of our limbs, till we fell into a profound sleep; although it

must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and dispirited; and

that the use of this liquor filled us with diseases which made our

lives uncomfortable and short.

"But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves

by furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich

and to each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as

I ought to be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred

tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house employ as

many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife."

I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their

livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions,

informed his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases.

But here it was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to.

apprehend what I meant. "He could easily conceive, that a

HOUYHNHNM, grew weak and heavy a few days before his

death, or by some accident might hurt a limb; but that nature, who

works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in

our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the reason

of so unaccountable an evil."

I told him "we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary

to each other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank

without the provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights

drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to

sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented

digestion; that prostitute female YAHOOS acquired a certain

malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of those who fell into

their embraces; that this, and many other diseases, were

propagated from father to son; so that great numbers came into the

world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would be

endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human

bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred,

spread over every limb and joint -in short, every part, external and

intestine, having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which,

there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or

pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the

faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the

whole mystery and method by which they proceed.

"Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion;

whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is

necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at the.

mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils,

shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents,

toads, frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts,

and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and taste, the most

abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they can possibly contrive,

which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing, and this

they call a vomit; or else, from the same store-house, with some

other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the

orifice above or below (just as the physician then happens to be

disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the

bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it; and

this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians

allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the

intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for

ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases

nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the

body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by

interchanging the use of each orifice; forcing solids and liquids in

at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.

"But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only

imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary

cures; these have their several names, and so have the drugs that

are proper for them; and with these our female YAHOOS are

always infested.

"One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,

wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when

they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death,.

which is always in their power, when recovery is not: and

therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after they

have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false

prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity to the world,

by a seasonable dose.

"They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are

grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of

state, and often to princes."

I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon

the nature of government in general, and particularly of our own

excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the

whole world. But having here accidentally mentioned a minister

of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, "what

species of YAHOO I particularly meant by that appellation."

I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was the

person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt

from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes

use of no other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and

titles; that he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication

of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you

should take it for a lie; nor a lie, but with a design that you should

take it for a truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs

are in the surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to

praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn..

The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it is

confirmed with an oath; after which, every wise man retires, and

gives over all hopes.

"There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief

minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose

of a wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or

undermining his predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in

public assemblies, against the corruption's of the court. But a wise

prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the last

of these methods; because such zealots prove always the most

obsequious and subservient to the will and passions of their

master. That these ministers, having all employments at their

disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the majority of

a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act

of indemnity" (whereof I described the nature to him), "they

secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the

public laden with the spoils of the nation.

"The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in

his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their

master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and

learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence,

lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid

to them by persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of

dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be

successors to their lord..

"He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite

footman, who are the tunnels through which all graces are

conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the

governors of the kingdom."

One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the

nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment

which I could not pretend to deserve: "that he was sure I must

have been born of some noble family, because I far exceeded in

shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the YAHOOS of his nation,

although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be

imputed to my different way of living from those other brutes; and

besides I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but

likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all

his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy."

He made me observe, "that among the HOUYHNHNMS, the

white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as

the bay, the dapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents

of mind, or a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued

always in the condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match

out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned

monstrous and unnatural."

I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the

good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him

at the same time, "that my birth was of the lower sort, having been

born of plain honest parents, who were just able to give me a

tolerable education; that nobility, among us, was altogether a.

different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen

are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury; that, as soon

as years will permit, they consume their vigour, and contract

odious diseases among lewd females; and when their fortunes are

almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth,

disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the

sake of money), whom they hate and despise. That the

productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or

deformed children; by which means the family seldom continues

above three generations, unless the wife takes care to provide a

healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order to

improve and continue the breed. That a weak diseased body, a

meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks

of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so disgraceful

in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have

been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run

parallel with those of his body, being a composition of spleen,

dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.

"Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be

enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the

decision of all our possessions, without appeal." (6).

 

CHAPTER VII.

 

 

[The author's great love of his native country. His master's

observations upon the constitution and administration of England,

as described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons.

His master's observations upon human nature.]

The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on

myself to give so free a representation of my own species, among

a race of mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest

opinion of humankind, from that entire congruity between me and

their YAHOOS. But I must freely confess, that the many virtues

of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human

corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlarged my

understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of

man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my own

kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for

me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my master,

who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I

had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would

never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise

learned, from his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or

disguise; and truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined

upon sacrificing every thing to it..

Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there

was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my

representation of things. I had not yet been a year in this country

before I contracted such a love and veneration for the inhabitants,

that I entered on a firm resolution never to return to humankind,

but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable

HOUYHNHNMS, in the contemplation and practice of every

virtue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But it

was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a

felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some

comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I

extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so strict an

examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the

matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be

swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth?

I have related the substance of several conversations I had with

my master during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to

be in his service; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much

more than is here set down.

When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed

to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and

commanded me to sit down at some distance (an honour which he

had never before conferred upon me). He said, "he had been very

seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related both to

myself and my country; that he looked upon us as a sort of

animals, to whose share, by what accident he could not

conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we.

made no other use, than by its assistance, to aggravate our natural

corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given

us; that we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had

bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our original

wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to

supply them by our own inventions; that, as to myself, it was

manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common

YAHOO; that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out

a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence, and to

remove the hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter

from the sun and the weather: lastly, that I could neither run with

speed, nor climb trees like my brethren," as he called them, "the

YAHOOS in his country.

"That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing

to our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue;

because reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature;

which was, therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge,

even from the account I had given of my own people; although he

manifestly perceived, that, in order to favour them, I had

concealed many particulars, and often said the thing which was

not.

"He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he

observed, that as I agreed in every feature of my body with other

YAHOOS, except where it was to my real disadvantage in point of

strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some

other particulars where nature had no part; so from the

representation I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our.

actions, he found as near a resemblance in the disposition of our

minds." He said, "the YAHOOS were known to hate one another,

more than they did any different species of animals; and the

reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes,

which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had

therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies,

and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each

other, which would else be hardly supportable. But he now found

he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in

his country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had

described them. For if," said he, "you throw among five

YAHOOS as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will,

instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single

one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was

usually employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and

those kept at home were tied at a distance from each other: that if

a cow died of age or accident, before a HOUYHNHNM could

secure it for his own YAHOOS, those in the neighbourhood would

come in herds to seize it, and then would ensue such a battle as I

had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws on both

sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want

of such convenient instruments of death as we had invented. At

other times, the like battles have been fought between the

YAHOOS of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause;

those of one district watching all opportunities to surprise the

next, before they are prepared. But if they find their project has

miscarried, they return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in

what I call a civil war among themselves..

"That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones

of several colours, whereof the YAHOOS are violently fond: and

when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes

happens, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them

out; then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their

kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their

comrades should find out their treasure." My master said, "he

could never discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how

these stones could be of any use to a YAHOO; but now he

believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice

which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of

experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the

place where one of his YAHOOS had buried it; whereupon the

sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought

the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to

biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat,

nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey

the stones into the same hole, and hide them as before; which,

when his YAHOO had found, he presently recovered his spirits

and good humour, but took good care to remove them to a better

hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute."

My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, "that

in the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and

most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads

of the neighbouring YAHOOS.".

He said, "it was common, when two YAHOOS discovered such a

stone in a field, and were contending which of them should be the

proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry it away

from them both;" which my master would needs contend to have

some kind of resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I thought

it for our credit not to undeceive him; since the decision he

mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees among

us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside

the stone they contended for: whereas our courts of equity would

never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had any

thing left.

My master, continuing his discourse, said, "there was nothing that

rendered the YAHOOS more odious, than their undistinguishing

appetite to devour every thing that came in their way, whether

herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled

together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder

of what they could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance,

than much better food provided for them at home. If their prey

held out, they would eat till they were ready to burst; after which,

nature had pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a

general evacuation.

"There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat

rare and difficult to be found, which the YAHOOS sought for with

much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced

in them the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make.

them sometimes hug, and sometimes tear one another; they would

howl, and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall

asleep in the mud."

I did indeed observe that the YAHOOS were the only animals in

this country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much

fewer than horses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment

they meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of

that sordid brute. Neither has their language any more than a

general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from

the name of the beast, and called HNEA-YAHOO, or YAHOO'S

EVIL; and the cure prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and

urine, forcibly put down the YAHOO'S throat. This I have since

often known to have been taken with success, and do here freely

recommend it to my countrymen for the public good, as an

admirable specific against all diseases produced by repletion.

"As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like," my

master confessed, "he could find little or no resemblance between

the YAHOOS of that country and those in ours; for he only meant

to observe what parity there was in our natures. He had heard,

indeed, some curious HOUYHNHNMS observe, that in most

herds there was a sort of ruling YAHOO (as among us there is

generally some leading or principal stag in a park), who was

always more deformed in body, and mischievous in disposition,

than any of the rest; that this leader had usually a favourite as like

himself as he could get, whose employment was to lick his

master's feet and posteriors, and drive the female YAHOOS to his

kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of.

ass's flesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and

therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the person of his

leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can be found;

but the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the head of

all the YAHOOS in that district, young and old, male and female,

come in a body, and discharge their excrements upon him from

head to foot. But how far this might be applicable to our courts,

and favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best

determine."

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which

debased human understanding below the sagacity of a common

hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and follow the

cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever mistaken.

My master told me, "there were some qualities remarkable in the

YAHOOS, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least

very slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind." He said,

"those animals, like other brutes, had their females in common;

but in this they differed, that the she YAHOO would admit the

males while she was pregnant; and that the hes would quarrel and

fight with the females, as fiercely as with each other; both which

practices were such degrees of infamous brutality, as no other

sensitive creature ever arrived at.

"Another thing he wondered at in the YAHOOS, was their strange

disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be a

natural love of cleanliness in all other animals." As to the two

former accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply,.

because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my

species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own

inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated humankind from

the imputation of singularity upon the last article, if there had

been any swine in that country (as unluckily for me there were

not), which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a

YAHOO, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more

cleanliness; and so his honour himself must have owned, if he had

seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing

and sleeping in the mud.

My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants

had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly

unaccountable. He said, "a fancy would sometimes take a

YAHOO to retire into a corner, to lie down, and howl, and groan,

and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young

and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor did the servant

imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy they

found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would

infallibly come to himself." To this I was silent out of partiality to

my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of

spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich;

who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would

undertake for the cure.

His honour had further observed, "that a female YAHOO would

often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males

passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures

and grimaces, at which time it was observed that she had a most.

offensive smell; and when any of the males advanced, would

slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit show of

fear, run off into some convenient place, where she knew the male

would follow her.

"At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or

four of her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter,

and grin, and smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures,

that seemed to express contempt and disdain."

Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations,

which he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been

told him by others; however, I could not reflect without some

amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness,

coquetry, censure, and scandal, should have place by instinct in

womankind.

I expected every moment that my master would accuse the

YAHOOS of those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common

among us. But nature, it seems, has not been so expert a school-mistress;

and these politer pleasures are entirely the productions

of art and reason on our side of the globe..

 

CHAPTER VIII.

 

 

[The author relates several particulars of the YAHOOS. The great

virtues of the HOUYHNHNMS. The education and exercise of

their youth. Their general assembly.]

As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I

supposed it possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply

the character he gave of the YAHOOS to myself and my

countrymen; and I believed I could yet make further discoveries,

from my own observation. I therefore often begged his honour to

let me go among the herds of YAHOOS in the neighbourhood; to

which he always very graciously consented, being perfectly

convinced that the hatred I bore these brutes would never suffer

me to be corrupted by them; and his honour ordered one of his

servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-natured, to be

my guard; without whose protection I durst not undertake such

adventures. For I have already told the reader how much I was

pestered by these odious animals, upon my first arrival; and I

afterwards failed very narrowly, three or four times, of falling into

their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without

my hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some

imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted

myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms

and breasts in their sight, when my protector was with me. At.

which times they would approach as near as they durst, and

imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with

great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is

always persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be got

among them.

They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once

caught a young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all

marks of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a

squalling, and scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was

forced to let it go; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old

ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for

away it ran), and my sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture

near us. I observed the young animal's flesh to smell very rank,

and the stink was somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much

more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance (and perhaps I

might have the reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that

while I held the odious vermin in my hands, it voided its filthy

excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over my clothes; but

by good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where I washed

myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come into my

master's presence until I were sufficiently aired.

By what I could discover, the YAHOOS appear to be the most

unteachable of all animals: their capacity never reaching higher

than to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect

arises chiefly from a perverse, restive disposition; for they are

cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong

and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent,.

abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the red haired of both sexes

are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they

much exceed in strength and activity.

The HOUYHNHNMS keep the YAHOOS for present use in huts

not far from the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain

fields, where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and

search about for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels and

LUHIMUHS (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour.

Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on the

side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves; only the

kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three

cubs.

They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue

long under water, where they often take fish, which the females

carry home to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the

reader will pardon my relating an odd adventure.

Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the

weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river

that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself

stark naked, and went down softly into the stream. It happened

that a young female YAHOO, standing behind a bank, saw the

whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I

conjectured, came running with all speed, and leaped into the

water, within five yards of the place where I bathed. I was never in

my life so terribly frightened. The nag was grazing at some

distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most.

fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came

galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the

utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she

stood gazing and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.

This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as

well as of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny

that I was a real YAHOO in every limb and feature, since the

females had a natural propensity to me, as one of their own

species. Neither was the hair of this brute of a red colour (which

might have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular), but

black as a sloe, and her countenance did not make an appearance

altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind; for I think she could

not be above eleven years old.

Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will

expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account

of the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed

my principal study to learn.

As these noble HOUYHNHNMS are endowed by nature with a

general disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas

of what is evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to

cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is

reason among them a point problematical, as with us, where men

can argue with plausibility on both sides of the question, but

strikes you with immediate conviction; as it must needs do, where

it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured, by passion and

interest. I remember it was with extreme difficulty that I could.

bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion,

or how a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to

affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our

knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings,

disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are

evils unknown among the HOUYHNHNMS. In the like manner,

when I used to explain to him our several systems of natural

philosophy, he would laugh, "that a creature pretending to reason,

should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's

conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain,

could be of no use." Wherein he agreed entirely with the

sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as

the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers -I have

often since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make

in the libraries of Europe; and how many paths of fame would be

then shut up in the learned world.

Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among

the HOUYHNHNMS; and these not confined to particular

objects, but universal to the whole race; for a stranger from the

remotest part is equally treated with the nearest neighbour, and

wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They preserve

decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether

ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondness for their colts or

foals, but the care they take in educating them proceeds entirely

from the dictates of reason. And I observed my master to show the

same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had for his own..

They will have it that nature teaches them to love the whole

species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons,

where there is a superior degree of virtue.

When the matron HOUYHNHNMS have produced one of each

sex, they no longer accompany with their consorts, except they

lose one of their issue by some casualty, which very seldom

happens; but in such a case they meet again; or when the like

accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other

couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together

again until the mother is pregnant. This caution is necessary, to

prevent the country from being overburdened with numbers. But

the race of inferior HOUYHNHNMS, bred up to be servants, is

not so strictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to

produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families.

In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours

as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength

is chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not

upon the account of love, but to preserve the race from

degenerating; for where a female happens to excel in strength, a

consort is chosen, with regard to comeliness.

Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in

their thoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their

language. The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because

it is the determination of their parents and friends; it is what they

see done every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary

actions of a reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or.

any other unchastity, was never heard of; and the married pair

pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual benevolence,

that they bear to all others of the same species who come in their

way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.

In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable,

and highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a

grain of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor

milk, but very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the

morning, and as many in the evening, which their parents likewise

observe; but the servants are not allowed above half that time, and

a great part of their grass is brought home, which they eat at the

most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.

Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons

equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master

thought it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of

education from the males, except in some articles of domestic

management; whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our

natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the

world; and to trust the care of our children to such useless

animals, he said, was yet a greater instance of brutality.

But the HOUYHNHNMS train up their youth to strength, speed,

and hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down

steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a

sweat, they are ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or

river. Four times a year the youth of a certain district meet to show

their proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of.

strength and agility; where the victor is rewarded with a song in

his or her praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of

YAHOOS into the field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a

repast to the HOUYHNHNMS; after which, these brutes are

immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome to the

assembly.

Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative

council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty

miles from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here

they inquire into the state and condition of the several districts;

whether they abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or

YAHOOS; and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom)

it is immediately supplied by unanimous consent and

contribution. Here likewise the regulation of children is settled: as

for instance, if a HOUYHNHNM has two males, he changes one

of them with another that has two females; and when a child has

been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is

determined what family in the district shall breed another to

supply the loss..

 

CHAPTER IX.

 

 

[A grand debate at the general assembly of the HOUYHNHNMS,

and how it was determined. The learning of the

HOUYHNHNMS. Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The

defectiveness of their language.]

One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three

months before my departure, whither my master went as the

representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old

debate, and indeed the only debate that ever happened in their

country; whereof my master, after his return, give me a very

particular account.

The question to be debated was, "whether the YAHOOS should be

exterminated from the face of the earth?" One of the members for

the affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and

weight, alleging, "that as the YAHOOS were the most filthy,

noisome, and deformed animals which nature ever produced, so

they were the most restive and indocible, mischievous and

malicious; they would privately suck the teats of the

HOUYHNHNMS' cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down

their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and

commit a thousand other extravagancies." He took notice of a

general tradition, "that YAHOOS had not been always in their.

country; but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared

together upon a mountain; whether produced by the heat of the

sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of

the sea, was never known; that these YAHOOS engendered, and

their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as to overrun and

infest the whole nation; that the HOUYHNHNMS, to get rid of

this evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole

herd; and destroying the elder, every HOUYHNHNM kept two

young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of

tameness, as an animal, so savage by nature, can be capable of

acquiring, using them for draught and carriage; that there seemed

to be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could

not be YINHNIAMSHY (or ABORIGINES of the land), because

of the violent hatred the HOUYHNHNMS, as well as all other

animals, bore them, which, although their evil disposition

sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so high a degree

if they had been ABORIGINES, or else they would have long

since been rooted out; that the inhabitants, taking a fancy to use

the service of the YAHOOS, had, very imprudently, neglected to

cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily

kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive smell, strong

enough for labour, although they yield to the other in agility of

body, and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far

preferable to the horrible howlings of the YAHOOS."

Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose,

when my master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof

he had indeed borrowed the hint from me. "He approved of the

tradition mentioned by the honourable member who spoke before,.

and affirmed, that the two YAHOOS said to be seen first among

them, had been driven thither over the sea; that coming to land,

and being forsaken by their companions, they retired to the

mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in process of

time much more savage than those of their own species in the

country whence these two originals came. The reason of this

assertion was, that he had now in his possession a certain

wonderful YAHOO (meaning myself) which most of them had

heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them how

he first found me; that my body was all covered with an artificial

composure of the skins and hairs of other animals; that I spoke in

a language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I

had related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that

when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact YAHOO in

every part, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with shorter

claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in

my own and other countries, the YAHOOS acted as the

governing, rational animal, and held the HOUYHNHNMS in

servitude; that he observed in me all the qualities of a YAHOO,

only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason, which,

however, was in a degree as far inferior to the HOUYHNHNM

race, as the YAHOOS of their country were to me; that, among

other things, I mentioned a custom we had of castrating

HOUYHNHNMS when they were young, in order to render them

tame; that the operation was easy and safe; that it was no shame to

learn wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and

building by the swallow (for so I translate the word LYHANNH,

although it be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be

practised upon the younger YAHOOS here, which besides.

rendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an

end to the whole species, without destroying life; that in the mean

time the HOUYHNHNMS should be exhorted to cultivate the

breed of asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable

brutes, so they have this advantage, to be fit for service at five

years old, which the others are not till twelve."

This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what

passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one

particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt

the unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and

whence I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.

The HOUYHNHNMS have no letters, and consequently their

knowledge is all traditional. But there happening few events of

any moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed to

every virtue, wholly governed by reason, and cut off from all

commerce with other nations, the historical part is easily

preserved without burdening their memories. I have already

observed that they are subject to no diseases, and therefore can

have no need of physicians. However, they have excellent

medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and cuts

in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other

maims and hurts in the several parts of the body..

They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but

use no subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted

with the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the

nature of eclipses; and this is the utmost progress of their

astronomy.

In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein

the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as

exactness of their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses

abound very much in both of these, and usually contain either

some exalted notions of friendship and benevolence or the praises

of those who were victors in races and other bodily exercises.

Their buildings, although very rude and simple, are not

inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all injuries

of and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at forty years old

loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it grows very

straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the

HOUYHNHNMS know not the use of iron), they stick them erect

in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat

straw, or sometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after

the same manner, and so are the doors.

The HOUYHNHNMS use the hollow part, between the pastern

and the hoof of their fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with

greater dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white

mare of our family thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose)

with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the

work which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a

kind of hard flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they.

form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and

hammers. With tools made of these flints, they likewise cut their

hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several

fields; the YAHOOS draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the

servants tread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain,

which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and

wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.

If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are

buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and

relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor

does the dying person discover the least regret that he is leaving

the world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a

visit to one of his neighbours. I remember my master having once

made an appointment with a friend and his family to come to his

house, upon some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the

mistress and her two children came very late; she made two

excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that

very morning to SHNUWNH. The word is strongly expressive in

their language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies,

"to retire to his first mother." Her excuse for not coming sooner,

was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good

while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his

body should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our

house as cheerfully as the rest. She died about three months after.

They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom

to fourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual

decay; but without pain. During this time they are much visited by.

their friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease

and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death,

which they seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that

have been made them by those who are nearest in the

neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledge drawn by

YAHOOS; which vehicle they use, not only upon this occasion,

but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are

lamed by any accident: and therefore when the dying

HOUYHNHNMS return those visits, they take a solemn leave of

their friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the

country, where they designed to pass the rest of their lives.

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the

HOUYHNHNMS have no word in their language to express any

thing that is evil, except what they borrow from the deformities or

ill qualities of the YAHOOS. Thus they denote the folly of a

servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts their feet, a

continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by

adding to each the epithet of YAHOO. For instance, HHNM

YAHOO; WHNAHOLM YAHOO, YNLHMNDWIHLMA

YAHOO, and an ill-contrived house YNHOLMHNMROHLNW

 YAHOO.

 

I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and

virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to

publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the

reader thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own

sad catastrophe...

 

CHAPTER X.

 

 

[The author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms.

His great improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their

conversations. The author has notice given him by his master, that

he must depart from the country. He falls into a swoon for grief;

but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of a

fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.]

I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My

master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner,

about six yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I

plastered with clay, and covered with rush-mats of my own

contriving. I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made

of it a sort of ticking; this I filled with the feathers of several birds

I had taken with springes made of YAHOOS' hairs, and were

excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel

nag helping me in the grosser and more laborious part.

When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with

the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the

same size, called NNUHNOH, the skin of which is covered with a

fine down. Of these I also made very tolerable stockings. I soled

my shoes with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the

upper-leather; and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the.

skins of YAHOOS dried in the sun. I often got honey out of

hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread.

No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims, "That

nature is very easily satisfied;" and, "That necessity is the mother

of invention." I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of

mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor

the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of

bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the favour of any great

man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against fraud or

oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor

lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to watch my words and

actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no

gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen,

housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians,

wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers,

murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party

and faction; no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples;

no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no

cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or

affectation; no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes;

no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no

importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty,

conceited, swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the

dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on

account of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters..

I had the favour of being admitted to several HOUYHNHNMS,

who came to visit or dine with my master; where his honour

graciously suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their

discourse. Both he and his company would often descend to ask

me questions, and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the

honour of attending my master in his visits to others. I never

presumed to speak, except in answer to a question; and then I did

it with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time for

improving myself; but I was infinitely delighted with the station

of an humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed

but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant

words; where, as I have already said, the greatest decency was

observed, without the least degree of ceremony; where no person

spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his

companions; where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat,

or difference of sentiments. They have a notion, that when people

are met together, a short silence does much improve conversation:

this I found to be true; for during those little intermissions of talk,

new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much enlivened

the discourse. Their subjects are, generally on friendship and

benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes upon the visible

operations of nature, or ancient traditions; upon the bounds and

limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some

determinations to be taken at the next great assembly: and often

upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity,

that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse,

because it afforded my master an occasion of letting his friends

into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all

pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous to.

humankind: and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said;

only I may be allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great

admiration, appeared to understand the nature of YAHOOS much

better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and

discovered many, which I had never mentioned to him, by only

supposing what qualities a YAHOO of their country, with a small

proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting; and

concluded, with too much probability, "how vile, as well as

miserable, such a creature must be."

I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value,

was acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from

hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be

prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest

assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed

of the inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such

amiable persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first,

indeed, I did not feel that natural awe, which the YAHOOS and all

other animals bear toward them; but it grew upon me by decrees,

much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a respectful

love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish me

from the rest of my species.

When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the

human race in general, I considered them, as they really were,

YAHOOS in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized,

and qualified with the gift of speech; but making no other use of

reason, than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their

brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted.

them. When I happened to behold the reflection of my own form

in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face in horror and

detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a

common YAHOO than of my own person. By conversing with the

HOUYHNHNMS, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to

imitate their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit;

and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, "that I trot like a

horse;" which, however, I take for a great compliment. Neither

shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and

manner of the HOUYHNHNMS, and hear myself ridiculed on

that account, without the least mortification.

In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself

to be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a

little earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance

that he was in some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he

had to speak. After a short silence, he told me, "he did not know

how I would take what he was going to say: that in the last general

assembly, when the affair of the YAHOOS was entered upon, the

representatives had taken offence at his keeping a YAHOO

(meaning myself) in his family, more like a HOUYHNHNM than

a brute animal; that he was known frequently to converse with me,

as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my company;

that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, or a

thing ever heard of before among them; the assembly did

therefore exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my

species, or command me to swim back to the place whence I

came: that the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all

the HOUYHNHNMS who had ever seen me at his house or their.

own; for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of

reason, added to the natural pravity of those animals, it was to be

feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and

mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by

night to destroy the HOUYHNHNMS' cattle, as being naturally of

the ravenous kind, and averse from labour."

My master added, "that he was daily pressed by the

HOUYHNHNMS of the neighbourhood to have the assembly's

exhortation executed, which he could not put off much longer. He

doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to another

country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of

vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might carry

me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of his

own servants, as well as those of his neighbours." He concluded,

"that for his own part, he could have been content to keep me in

his service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself

of some bad habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as

my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the HOUYHNHNMS."

I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general

assembly in this country is expressed by the word HNHLOAYN,

which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they

have no conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but

only advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason,

without giving up his claim to be a rational creature..

I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's

discourse; and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I

fell into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me

"that he concluded I had been dead;" for these people are subject

to no such imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice, "that

death would have been too great a happiness; that although I

could not blame the assembly's exhortation, or the urgency of his

friends; yet, in my weak and corrupt judgment, I thought it might

consist with reason to have been less rigorous; that I could not

swim a league, and probably the nearest land to theirs might be

distant above a hundred: that many materials, necessary for

making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this

country; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience and

gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing to be

impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to

destruction; that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the

least of my evils; for, supposing I should escape with life by some

strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my

days among YAHOOS, and relapsing into my old corruptions, for

want of examples to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue?

that I knew too well upon what solid reasons all the

determinations of the wise HOUYHNHNMS were founded, not to

be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable YAHOO; and

therefore, after presenting him with my humble thanks for the

offer of his servants' assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a

reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I would

endeavour to preserve a wretched being; and if ever I returned to

England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own.

species, by celebrating the praises of the renowned

HOUYHNHNMS, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of

mankind."

My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply;

allowed me the space of two months to finish my boat; and

ordered the sorrel nag, my fellow-servant (for so, at this distance,

I may presume to call him), to follow my instruction; because I

told my master, "that his help would be sufficient, and I knew he

had a tenderness for me."

In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the

coast where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore.

I got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied

I saw a small island toward the north-east. I took out my pocket

glass, and could then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off,

as I computed; but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue

cloud: for as he had no conception of any country beside his own,

so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at

sea, as we who so much converse in that element.

After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but

resolved it should if possible, be the first place of my banishment,

leaving the consequence to fortune.

I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into

a copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a

sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a

wooden handle, cut down several oak wattles, about the thickness.

of a walking-staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble

the reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let

it suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the help of the sorrel

nag, who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished

a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins

of YAHOOS, well stitched together with hempen threads of my

own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins of the

same animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older

being too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with

four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls,

and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other

with water.

I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then

corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with

YAHOOS' tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and

my freight; and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make

it, I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by YAHOOS to the sea-side,

under the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.

When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took

leave of my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes

flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his

honour, out of curiosity, and, perhaps, (if I may speak without

vanity,) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my

canoe, and got several of his neighbouring friends to accompany

him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide; and then

observing the wind very fortunately bearing toward the island to

which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave of my.

master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he

did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not

ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last

particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so

illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of

distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten

how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they

have received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with

the noble and courteous disposition of the HOUYHNHNMS, they

would soon change their opinion.

I paid my respects to the rest of the HOUYHNHNMS in his

honour's company; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from

shore..

 

CHAPTER XI.

 

 

[The author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland,

hoping to settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the

natives. Is seized and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The

great civilities of the captain. The author arrives at England.]

I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714-15, at nine

o'clock in the morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I

made use at first only of my paddles; but considering I should

soon be weary, and that the wind might chop about, I ventured to

set up my little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at

the rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess.

My master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost

out of sight; and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved

me) crying out, "HNUY ILLA NYHA, MAJAH YAHOO;" "Take

care of thyself, gentle YAHOO."

My design was, if possible, to discover some small island

uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the

necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater

happiness, than to be first minister in the politest court of Europe;

so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the

society, and under the government of YAHOOS. For in such a

solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and.

reflect with delight on the virtues of those inimitable

HOUYHNHNMS, without an opportunity of degenerating into

the vices and corruptions of my own species.

The reader may remember what I related, when my crew

conspired against me, and confined me to my cabin; how I

continued there several weeks without knowing what course we

took; and when I was put ashore in the long-boat, how the sailors

told me, with oaths, whether true or false, "that they knew not in

what part of the world we were." However, I did then believe us to

be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or

about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from some

general words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the

south-east in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although

this were little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my

course eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New

Holland, and perhaps some such island as I desired lying

westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the evening

I computed I had gone eastward at least eighteen leagues; when I

spied a very small island about half a league off, which I soon

reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one creek naturally

arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and

climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the

east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe;

and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven

hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me

in the opinion I have long entertained, that the maps and charts

place this country at least three degrees more to the east than it.

really is; which thought I communicated many years ago to my

worthy friend, Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it,

although he has rather chosen to follow other authors.

I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being

unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found

some shellfish on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle

a fire, for fear of being discovered by the natives. I continued

three days feeding on oysters and limpets, to save my own

provisions; and I fortunately found a brook of excellent water,

which gave me great relief.

On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty

or thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from

me. They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a

fire, as I could discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and

gave notice to the rest; five of them advanced toward me, leaving

the women and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to

the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages,

observing me retreat, ran after me: and before I could get far

enough into the sea, discharged an arrow which wounded me

deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the mark to my

grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling

out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a shift to

suck the wound, and dress it as well as I could.

I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same

landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for

the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-.

west. As I was looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a

sail to the north-north-east, which appearing every minute more

visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them or not;

but at last my detestation of the YAHOO race prevailed: and

turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and

got into the same creek whence I set out in the morning, choosing

rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than live with

European YAHOOS. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the

shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the little brook, which, as

I have already said, was excellent water.

The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long

boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems,

was very well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was

almost on shore; and it was too late to seek another hiding-place.

The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging

it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off.

Four of them, well armed, searched every cranny and lurking-hole,

till at last they found me flat on my face behind the stone.

They gazed awhile in admiration at my strange uncouth dress; my

coat made of skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my furred

stockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native of

the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid

me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very

well, and getting upon my feet, said, "I was a poor YAHOO

banished from the HOUYHNHNMS, and desired they would

please to let me depart." They admired to hear me answer them in

their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a

European; but were at a loss to know what I meant by YAHOOS.

and HOUYHNHNMS; and at the same time fell a-laughing at my

strange tone in speaking, which resembled the neighing of a

horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again

desired leave to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe; but

they laid hold of me, desiring to know, "what country I was of?

whence I came?" with many other questions. I told them "I was

born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and then

their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would

not treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a

poor YAHOO seeking some desolate place where to pass the

remainder of his unfortunate life."

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing

more unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a

cow should speak in England, or a YAHOO in

HOUYHNHNMLAND. The honest Portuguese were equally

amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of delivering my

words, which, however, they understood very well. They spoke to

me with great humanity, and said, "they were sure the captain

would carry me GRATIS to Lisbon, whence I might return to my

own country; that two of the seamen would go back to the ship,

inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders;

in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly,

they would secure me by force. I thought it best to comply with

their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I

gave them very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my

misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which

went laden with vessels of water, returned, with the captain's

command to fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my.

liberty; but all was in vain; and the men, having tied me with

cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was taken into the ship,

and thence into the captain's cabin.

His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and

generous person. He entreated me to give some account of myself,

and desired to know what I would eat or drink; said, "I should be

used as well as himself;" and spoke so many obliging things, that I

wondered to find such civilities from a YAHOO. However, I

remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of

him and his men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own

canoe; but he ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and

then directed that I should be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I

would not undress myself, but lay on the bed-clothes, and in half

an hour stole out, when I thought the crew was at dinner, and

getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into the sea, and

swim for my life, rather than continue among YAHOOS. But one

of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I

was chained to my cabin.

After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my

reason for so desperate an attempt; assured me, "he only meant to

do me all the service he was able;" and spoke so very movingly,

that at last I descended to treat him like an animal which had some

little portion of reason. I gave him a very short relation of my

voyage; of the conspiracy against me by my own men; of the

country where they set me on shore, and of my five years

residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a dream or

a vision; whereat I took great offence; for I had quite forgot the.

faculty of lying, so peculiar to YAHOOS, in all countries where

they preside, and, consequently, their disposition of suspecting

truth in others of their own species. I asked him, "whether it were

the custom in his country to say the thing which was not?" I

assured him, "I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood,

and if I had lived a thousand years in HOUYHNHNMLAND, I

should never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was

altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not; but,

however, in return for his favours, I would give so much

allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any

objection he would please to make, and then he might easily

discover the truth."

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me

tripping in some part of my story, at last began to have a better

opinion of my veracity. But he added, "that since I professed so

inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give him my word and

honour to bear him company in this voyage, without attempting

any thing against my life; or else he would continue me a prisoner

till we arrived at Lisbon." I gave him the promise he required; but

at the same time protested, "that I would suffer the greatest

hardships, rather than return to live among YAHOOS."

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In

gratitude to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest

request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind,

although it often broke out; which he suffered to pass without

observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to

my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often.

entreated me to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to

lend me the best suit of clothes he had. This I would not be

prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing

that had been on the back of a YAHOO. I only desired he would

lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed since he

wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I

changed every second day, and washed them myself.

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain

forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble

from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at

my earnest request he led me up to the highest room backwards. I

conjured him "to conceal from all persons what I had told him of

the HOUYHNHNMS; because the least hint of such a story would

not only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me

in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition." The

captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes newly made; but I

would not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however, Don

Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He

accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for

twenty-four hours before I would use them.

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which

were suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so

obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really

began to tolerate his company. He gained so far upon me, that I

ventured to look out of the back window. By degrees I was

brought into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but

drew my head back in a fright. In a week's time he seduced me.

down to the door. I found my terror gradually lessened, but my

hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at last bold enough

to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well stopped

with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my

domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and

conscience, "that I ought to return to my native country, and live

at home with my wife and children." He told me, "there was an

English ship in the port just ready to sail, and he would furnish me

with all things necessary." It would be tedious to repeat his

arguments, and my contradictions. He said, "it was altogether

impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to live in; but

I might command in my own house, and pass my time in a manner

as recluse as I pleased."

I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the

24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was

the master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the

ship, and lent me twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and

embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I could. During

this last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his

men; but, pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the

fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine

in the morning, and at three in the afternoon I got safe to my house

at Rotherhith. (7).

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy,

because they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely

confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and

contempt; and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to

them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from the

HOUYHNHNM country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the

sight of YAHOOS, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez,

yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the

virtues and ideas of those exalted HOUYHNHNMS. And when I

began to consider that, by copulating with one of the YAHOO

species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with the

utmost shame, confusion, and horror.

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and

kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that

odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an

hour. At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return

to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or

children in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable;

much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this

hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the

same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the

hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses,

which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groom

is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell

he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably

well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are

strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and

friendship to each other...

 

CHAPTER XII.

 

 

[The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His

censure of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author

clears himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection

answered. The method of planting colonies. His native country

commended. The right of the crown to those countries described

by the author is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The

author takes his last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of

living for the future; gives good advice, and concludes.]

Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my

travels for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have

not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like

others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I

rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner

and style; because my principal design was to inform, and not to

amuse thee.

It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are

seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form

descriptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a

traveller's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and

to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good, example of

what they deliver concerning foreign places..

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller,

before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be

obliged to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he

intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his knowledge;

for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is,

while some writers, to make their works pass the better upon the

public, impose the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have

perused several books of travels with great delight in my younger

days; but having since gone over most parts of the globe, and been

able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my own

observation, it has given me a great disgust against this part of

reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind so

impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were

pleased to think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to

my country, I imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved

from, that I would strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be

ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in

my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the

other illustrious HOUYHNHNMS of whom I had so long the

honour to be an humble hearer.

-NEC SI MISERUM FORTUNA SINONEM FINXIT, VANUM

 ETIAM, MENDACEMQUE IMPROBA FINGET.

 

I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings

which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other

talent, except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know

likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk.

into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come last, and

therefore lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such

travellers, who shall hereafter visit the countries described in this

work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (if there be any), and

adding many new discoveries of their own, justle me out of

vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever I

was an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if I

wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I

cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues

I have mentioned in the glorious HOUYHNHNMS, without being

ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the

reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of

those remote nations where YAHOOS preside; among which the

least corrupted are the BROBDINGNAGIANS; whose wise

maxims in morality and government it would be our happiness to

observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave the

judicious reader to his own remarks and application.

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet

with no censurers: for what objections can be made against a

writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant

countries, where we have not the least interest, with respect either

to trade or negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with

which common writers of travels are often too justly charged.

Besides, I meddle not the least with any party, but write without

passion, prejudice, or ill-will against any man, or number of men,

whatsoever. I write for the noblest end, to inform and instruct

mankind; over whom I may, without breach of modesty, pretend

to some superiority, from the advantages I received by conversing.

so long among the most accomplished HOUYHNHNMS. I write

without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass

that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offence,

even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may

with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless;

against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers,

Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find matter

for exercising their talents.

I confess, it was whispered to me, "that I was bound in duty, as a

subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of

state at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are

discovered by a subject belong to the crown." But I doubt whether

our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy as those

of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The

LILLIPUTIANS, I think, are hardly worth the charge of a fleet

and army to reduce them; and I question whether it might be

prudent or safe to attempt the BROBDINGNAGIANS; or whether

an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying

Island over their heads. The HOUYHNHNMS indeed appear not

to be so well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect

strangers, and especially against missive weapons. However,

supposing myself to be a minister of state, I could never give my

advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity,

unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country, would

amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty

thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army,

confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the

warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder.

hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given to

Augustus, RECALCITRAT UNDIQUE TUTUS. But, instead of

proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish

they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number

of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first

principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit,

fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The

names of all which virtues are still retained among us in most

languages, and are to be met with in modern, as well as ancient

authors; which I am able to assert from my own small reading.

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge

his majesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had

conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of

princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are

driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy

discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and

plunder, they see a harmless people, are entertained with

kindness; they give the country a new name; they take formal

possession of it for their king; they set up a rotten plank, or a

stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the

natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample; return

home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion

acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first

opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed; their princes

tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of

inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its.

inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so

pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and

civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British

nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their

wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal

endowments for the advancement of religion and learning; their

choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity; their

caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and

conversations from this the mother kingdom; their strict regard to

the distribution of justice, in supplying the civil administration

through all their colonies with officers of the greatest abilities,

utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the

most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views

than the happiness of the people over whom they preside, and the

honour of the king their master.

But as those countries which I have described do not appear to

have any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or

driven out by colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or

tobacco, I did humbly conceive, they were by no means proper

objects of our zeal, our valour, or our interest. However, if those

whom it more concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am

ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, that no European

did ever visit those countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants

ought to be believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the

two YAHOOS, said to have been seen many years ago upon a

mountain in HOUYHNHNMLAND..

But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's

name, it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as

my affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and

self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised

against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my

courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my

little garden at Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue

which I learned among the HOUYHNHNMS; to instruct the

YAHOOS of my own family, is far as I shall find them docible

animals; to behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible,

habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature;

to lament the brutality to HOUYHNHNMS in my own country,

but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my

noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole

HOUYHNHNM race, whom these of ours have the honour to

resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came

to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the

farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost

brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a YAHOO

continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped

with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for

a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of.

hopes, in some time, to suffer a neighbour YAHOO in my

company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or

his claws.

My reconcilement to the YAHOO kind in general might not be so

difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only

which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at

the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a

gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a

suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to

the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity

and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it

immediately breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall

I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and such a

vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous

HOUYHNHNMS, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a

rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language,

which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except those

whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their YAHOOS,

among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for

want of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself

in other countries where that animal presides. But I, who had

more experience, could plainly observe some rudiments of it

among the wild YAHOOS.

But the HOUYHNHNMS, who live under the government of

reason, are no more proud of the good qualities they possess, than

I should be for not wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his

wits would boast of, although he must be miserable without them..

I dwell the longer upon this subject from the desire I have to make

the society of an English YAHOO by any means not

insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those who have any

tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to come in

my sight.

 

FOOTNOTES:

 

 

(1) A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

 

(2) An act of parliament has been since passed by which some

breaches of trust have been made capital.

 

(3) Britannia. -SIR W. SCOTT.

 

(4) London. -SIR W. SCOTT.

 

(5) This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766).

The above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another

form, commencing:-"I told him that should I happen to live in a

kingdom where lots were in vogue," &c. The names Tribnia and

Langdon an not mentioned, and the "close stool" and its

signification do not occur.

 

(6) This paragraph is not in the original editions..

 

(7) The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here,

though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's

home in England.